Are we really saying that living a long life is a mere concept? I guess it could be, but it just sounds weird. First of all, it wouldn’t be considered a mere concept, if you were born with a disease or disability.
I looked up the definition of concept, but it only made things worse. But, as I’ve committed to answering these prompts without being flippant, I’ll give it my best shot.
Since the prompt is only asking what my thoughts are about this whole concept thing, ummmm… living a long life is a great concept, I guess. In truth, only God knows the length of my life, and nothing I do or don’t do will change that outcome.
I suppose the concept of being a decent human being is also good, if you’re a decent person. But, what good is that concept if you’re an arse, by nature?
I can honestly say that I am unable to really come up with any life altering thoughts, regarding long life being a mere concept. I will be making every effort to live a long life, but it’s not really in my hands, is it? We can do everything right, but still accidentally get hit by a bus. Concept just flew out the window.
Life, itself, cannot be placed in a box, given boundaries, and/or assigned any wonderful concepts… it doesn’t work like that. There are no guarantees, precautions, or conceptual guidelines that keep reality at bay.
Besides, I can’t personally think beyond the day in front of me, let alone focus on what my earthly old age might look like. Rather than thinking on the concept of a long life, how bout we just do the best with what we have, and leave the rest of it to God.
I’ll be honest in saying that I was a bit distracted, what with our newest grandbaby arriving. I’m gonna let Sugarplum take all the spotlight, because all I did was feel sorry for myself and play video games.
Oh, as far as the self-pity gaming… I’m over it, thank goodness!
While things have not changed for the better with my health, my reliance and obedience to God have not wavered!
I’ve no idea what, when, or if I’ll write anything of value this year, but I intend to be here with bells on, regardless!
There is a very fine, and precarious line between writing with passion or writing with emotion. Some can separate these two things while writing, quite effectively, I cannot. Don’t get me wrong, as I can definitely write this way… but it’s raw, painful, and often can be very damaging to others, not to mention my own mental state.
My health journey over the last 6 months has been exhausting, discouraging, and traumatic. I’ve been tossed from one specialist to another, none of which want my case. Primary doc sent me to the G.I. who went on vacation, so I waited three weeks. They ran tests and said it was simply due to my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). The weight continued to drop, and I still couldn’t eat. I asked for another appointment which was scheduled for two months later. I went off on the nurse, to say the least, though no swear words or disrespect were used. I simply screamed out over the phone that I didn’t want to die, and I was begging for help. In exasperation, they scheduled me for the next test, which was the Esophogram. That’s where they made the SECOND diagnosis for the Hiatal Hernia.
Off to the surgeon I was sent, where he also went on vacation for an additional 3 weeks before my appointment. He said he wanted more tests, so again, I waited another month for the nuclear study. They then said that my stomach was not emptying like normal, and referred me back to the G.I. for more meds… the surgeon refused to operate!
I got a message immediately from my G.I., not for an appointment but to offer a new drug… surprise!
My answer… NO MORE DRUGS!
Since when did doctors refuse to doctor?
When was it acceptable to allow a commercial about a new drug to dictate whether I should ask a doctor for help or not?
What about the Hypocritic Oath? Or are they now teaching the Hypocritical Oath in colleges these days?
Not even hours after that email, email I said, email… I saw a commercial on television for the very medication the doctor had so quickly offered me over the phone.
I’m out!
It will be God that heals me or I shall be going home… either way brings me no fear, but rather, hope for my future.
Each day I pray that God covers me, allowing me to get the very most out of a bowl of oatmeal with raisins, and 3 oz. chicken and rice w/veggies for dinner. I am reminded of how the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, eating Manna and quail… if they could do it, so too can I!
My God is far more Omnipotent and powerful than anything of man… I will stay on my feet as the chosen warrior of God until my last breath has gone!
I shall not fear!
I will walk boldly in the shadow of my God, who knows every part of my journey!
There may be days where I am silent, only offering inspirational music or scripture. Those are the days where He carries me.
There will be days of laughter, where God’s lessons are the ones that help me to lighten up, and let things be.
There may even be days where I cry out, in need of some encouragement and love from those I consider family… that’s you!
Whatever this year brings, we will face it together… I will share my ups, downs, and in-bewteens, and I expect the same from you! Just because one has struggles, doesn’t mean they’re incapable of giving love and understanding to others.
No matter where you are, what you are going through, or how badly you might be hurting, you are loved… you are valued… you are prayed for… and you are NEEDED, as you are!
This girl likes to have fun, if you hadn’t picked up on that yet, but “playtime” has had to be toned down these days.
From the time I was small, playtime revolved around hiking, biking, horseback riding, camping, fishing, and/or any fun activity out in the wilderness.
Over the years I’ve walked marathons (running them is silly), played softball, and at one point even played a game of tackle football in a muddy field, no joke. I was fast, light, and could take a hit!
Sitting where I sit now, with a rainy day ache in every single place that I injured myself over the years, playtime has had to become a bit less aggressive.
I traded my outdoor adventuring for online gaming outdoor adventuring (don’t judge), as I’ve no desire to collapse from trying to do things the way I used to. Not only that, but the embarrassment of being hand carried off the path by some young, strong, and handsome paramedics… no thanks!
I may not be a young spring chicken any longer, but this wise old owl has traded her adventure shoes for Meemaw slippers. Don’t think that this is just anybody’s game, no ho ho way! You wouldn’t think that rocking a baby to sleep would be so tough… until you have rocked them for an hour, while holding yourself in the most awkward and uncomfortable position. You’ll ache for days, trust me!
I guess you could say that my playtime has become selective now… I save up all my physical energy for baby, while I imagine, write, and virtually play online games. I also bake you virtual cookies each day, which I consider playtime, as well.
I sat for a good bit this morning, trying to find the words to enter back into the stream of literary traffic that is WordPress… and it’s been hard, to say the least.
If I could sum up the last several months in only a few words, it’d be something like, “alrighty then, wasn’t that a ride!”
I could tell you the details about my health journey, and perhaps in time I may, but now is not the time… maybe later.
On the upside, we’ve a new granddaughter that has to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever lain eyes upon…
From the tip of her tiny toes, all the way to her silky soft hair…
… our Sugarplum was the most wonderful of Christmas package one could ever imagine! While I would love to show you a cascade of new baby pictures, I wish to respect my daughter’s privacy, so for the most part I’ll be using the Avatar created for Maisie unless Mamma gives me approved pic’s for public viewing…
Please forgive any future crazy writing angles, as I’m still trying to right my health situation. When you are physically compromised, it bleeds over into your emotions, as well.
In a tiny nutshell, doctors have failed to offer anything other than more drugs, so we’ve been forced to step back from modern medicine and seek a different route. Basically, we’re DIYing it. I don’t know what’s to come, but God does, so I’m leaving it in His mighty hands.
While God watches over me, I’ve been tasked to continue my writing. I want to publish my works, and I want to be here, with you… my family.
So, with that being said, let’s just get back to it, the writing that is…
Let’s all celebrate and have a party… cause the Punctuation Fairy has returned!!!
(Even though I may love our little apartment, I still miss that park, the squirrels, and even that silly old broken down R.V.)
I choose my local park, hands down, as my favorite place!
While I’m sure the local squirrels love anyone who gives them peanuts, I choose to believe that they love mine the best. Due to my absolute love and fascination of these small ones, my husband has now moved to buying Biggie size bags of peanuts… it has become my mission to ensure full tummies and fluffy tails through the cold months.
Most days you will find me walking along the path with a string of boisterous chatterboxes darting between my feet. These little ones show no fear whatsoever… only excited anticipation of the treats they know to be forthcoming.
I’ve become so fond of these fluffy characters, stories began to form in my mind of their miniature world. In a way, a squirrel’s life is much less complicated than a humans… but is it really? In other ways, the life of these tiny creatures is far more harsh than ours is… but is it really? Writing stories for squirrels using human nature as the reality of their social structure is rather easy.
The park is massive, holding 4 large sports fields used in the warmer months, a large Tennis court that keeps busy nearly all year long, and multiple trails running through several playgrounds and down all along the White River. For a smaller community, this park gets a great amount of use, and a great amount of care. The city puts forth a great amount of effort to maintain and care for this place and that makes my heart happy.
Living in a house with wheels means that we may not always be in this particular location, in close proximity to such a beautiful and peaceful place. For me, the beauty and peace are not limited to just one place… no matter where our wheels come to rest, God always gives me a park and/or a trail to walk… always! Here’s the tricky part… I have to be looking.
It’s rather funny that I’ve known about this park for years and never walked it’s paths. I lived in this very same city over 10 years ago… not 5 blocks from where we are at the moment, never once walking beneath it’s trees. I wasn’t looking… but I am now! In a way I suppose that God has used this park, and these creatures to work part of His healing in my wounded spirit. This is a wonderful part of nature that draws me to return time and again… I see my Fathers hand everywhere my eyes look. From the smell of the earth, to the sounds of the world around me… from the antics of the squirrels to the laughter of the children playing… From the warmth of the sunshine to the bitter cold of winter… I see His hand in all of it.
Long story short, the local park is my Jam…
Here, have a cookie…
These were gifted to us by Acorn Valley’s most talented royal Chef, Rollina MutterNut.
So, here is a funny story! I love the outdoors and if I can help it, I am out there as much as possible. I make an effort to take a walk nearly every day, and I have a route that I have used for some time now. I do a good amount of thinking on these morning jaunts, as I call them. Sometimes it can be very productive, but at other times, I let my mind just wander to relax. On one of these such relaxing mornings, I hatched a plan, that in my mind, would be very funny to any that were involved. I have a great many squirrels that I encounter on a regular basis, and I was going to recruit them for this idea.
I came up with a plan to simply begin saying hello, out loud, to every squirrel I encountered and give each a random name, as if I actually know them. I thought that if I did this, eventually, the passersby that frequently saw me, would begin to think that maybe I knew the squirrels. I could simply wait for the time when someone would stop me to ask how I knew all of the squirrels names, and I could then say, “Oh no, I have no idea, I just thought it would be funny”. I didn’t say that it WOULD be funny, I just imagined it would be funny.
The next morning, I headed out onto the trail, thoroughly tickled with myself, for what I thought would be an extremely funny idea. Honestly, I giggled to myself all the way down the block as I began looking for my first unwitting participant (a squirrel, that is). I got about a half hour into my trek, playing over and over in my head how it would play out, and then I spotted a squirrel.
I learned two things that morning. Number one, I discovered that, apparently, a lot of squirrels share the name Bob. Number two, Peanuts! I should have brought peanuts. My recommendation is that we not engage in conversation with wildlife, unless we bring some sort of food offering. I think someone else may have been conditioning these guys way before I ever thought up my ridiculous idea!
Here is how it went down…I saw the squirrel, I approached confidently, thinking how funny this was gonna be, I called out, “Hey Bob”, and before I knew it I was being chased down the trail by three hungry squirrels. I felt like it happened in slow motion…lol…I spoke, our eyes connected, they looked hungry, I had nothing but a coffee tumbler and a tissue, Coffee over Heathens I say! I did not care how absolutely ridiculous I must have appeared to onlookers. I actually think I may have laughed out loud at myself, but I did not care! I walked a different route for two days after that to let them forget me hopefully.
I still see the same three squirrels on the trail regularly, and the accusation is still there on those furry little faces… Where Are OUR Peanuts!!!!
Just the other day, from out of nowhere, came a happy memory of one of my favorite toys from childhood, my Hippity Hop! I was born on a farm and aside from my horse, my favorite toys were ones I could ride on. I have many memories of bouncing around the yard and pasture on that thing, and boy it must have been made of magic rubber because it never sprung a leak, that I can remember.
When I thought on it a bit, I realized that for the life of me, I cannot remember whatever happened to my favorite toy. As I pondered this, more memories of toys that brought me joy came to mind. Some of them came to tragic ends, as some toys do, when we are too hard on them or just don’t take care to protect them. Others, however, I quite honestly cannot remember what became of them.
It occurs to me that people are kind of like toys, in the sense that we sometimes, for whatever the reason, lose track of people that we once loved and held dear. Sometimes I feel like the child, and at other times I have felt like the toy! Instead of this thought leading me, or you for that matter, into the negative, I want to share an insight with you.
I have a soft spot in my heart for those little old fellows that own huge pieces of land simply teeming with old things…some rusted beyond repair, while others may yet be restored and reused. The point is that they simply refused to let go of anything that might one day be saved. They never stops loving and dreaming about bringing the beauty back to those old things. It doesn’t really matter if the old man ever gets them restored. I am just encouraged by him always hoping and dreaming.
I am so glad that God will never get tired of me! He will never forget that I am there, or nudge me aside with His boot. God never stops believing in me, no matter how damaged or dinged up I become. The Masters hands are always mending, rebuilding, and restoring me to how He sees me…His own!!!!!
One morning, while standing in my kitchen and talking on the phone with my girlfriend, I just knew something wasn’t right! I kept glancing out the window suspiciously towards the sound of singing.
There was my five-year-old, happily playing on her swing set in the back yard.
Something wasn’t right with the scene I observed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
You see, it’s usually the absence of noise that signals childhood mischief, but I could see her clearly and she was simply swinging. Wait a minute… that’s it!
I could see her but not clearly because of the distance between us. I asked my girlfriend to hold on a second, momentarily placing the phone on the counter. Leaning out the back door, I called for my daughter to come into the house. Hopping off of the swing, she happily made her way toward the back door, where I stood waiting.
As she drew near, my eyes became riveted to her forehead, where her bangs had once been. My baby gave herself a reverse mohawk! I saw what looked like a small monk! She had somehow sheared off all of the hair on her forehead!
In mortified shock I grabbed the phone up and cried to my friend, “You have to come over and look at my baby girl’s hair”!
Hanging up the phone, I attempted to calmly ask my child what happened… note that I said attempted. She looked concerned at my anger and said, pointedly, “My hair was in my eyes, so I got out your sewing scissors and cut it off.“
I was in tears by the time my girlfriend walked in and I turned to her for comfort in my hour of need. All I got from her was a long round of hysterical laughter. Point in fact, she laughed for a good bit, to my dismay.
“How can you laugh” I cried… “It’s not funny!”
As she tried to contain her laughter (not very well, I might add), my friend said, “I know this seems awful, but her hair will grow back. Look, kids do things like this. I’m sorry for laughing, but I can’t help it! Its hilarious, really it is! I’m sure you will look back on this and laugh, someday. In fact, you can laugh at anything my kids do to me when it happens. I will even call you first.”
After my girlfriend left, I had to hunt down all the evidence to be found. Underneath my own bed, I retrieved my scissors… along with a massive pile of hair! There was a lot more contributions of hair than I had anticipated, which was rather alarming! My thoughts momentarily raced to my other children, but then quickly moved on to one or more of the family pets in the house.
When I asked whose hair I’d found, she confidently took me to her toy pony, sittling in the corner of our family room. The poor jumpy horse had received an army style crew cut, and was never the same after that, the poor thing.
Of course, my girlfriend was right! I did look back and laugh.
And if you are wondering, I did have the occasion to take her up on that offer. Several years later, I did get my chance to laugh at her child’s silly antics.
Believe it or not, this flower is actually a good three feet above my head! I would not have even noticed it, had I not paused for a moment to rest my aching back. I am not sure that I want to go as far as to say that I am glad I injured my back. But I can certainly appreciate the lessons gained from my recovery process. One of those lessons is that I need to slow down!
I learned to slow down both physically, as well as mentally. In the physical realm, too much of a good thing (walking) is never healthy without taking the time to make sure you are capable of pacing yourself. I am learning to slow my walking down, and also to take days off for a refuel. Selecting regular days to rest is something I have to force myself to do. Mentally, I think it is also very necessary to do the same thing…
Take a day off!?!
While realizing that it can be difficult, it’s so very necessary that we take a mental day off, once in a while! You know, shut the brain door… close the shutters to our internal house windows.
I hope you weren’t’ expecting me to expound on the mental day off, as there are too many self-help resources that have already saturated the market on this subject. Actually, I am not even going to spout anything useful in the physical activity department. I just like to “walk” you into an insight I’ve gained, rather than just throw it at you like a water balloon.
Beauty and goodness are all around us! Each and every day, the sun rises to reveal these things. It carries on toward darkness, til it’s replaced by the rising of the moon. Over and over, again and again, this happens. We’re given so many opportunities to see and experience all that God’s created just for our pleasure and enjoyment.
My insight, if you have not already figured it out, is this: Slow down, and take the time to LOOK UP!
Not only do I not wish to do any re-living at this moment, but I wouldn’t wish any of my life on any other human being!
I hear so many folks talk of what they would do differently if they were to go back in time, but as much as I don’t want to go back… I also wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money!
The me that you see today is a priceless gem, cut from the hardest of stone. I am a blade made of iron, shaped through both fire and ice for tempering… I am a chosen child of God!
Has it been difficult, exhausting and painful, yes!
Have I had to walk through life as an outsider… an outcast? Yes! Most often, I am simply misunderstood by those that surround me.
Have I done any of this alone? Nope!
Whether good, bad or in between… all of it was foreseen by the one who knew of my very birth, before the foundations of the earth had ever come to be…
The path I now walk is a combination of many things, much of what I brought on myself along the way. By revisiting the old me, doing or saying a thing any different than I did the first time around, could possibly undo a lesson that was vitally necessary for my walk with God, at this moment in time. No thanks!
I love the me that I am now, so, as they say… There’s no going back, There’s no better time than the present, or even better yet,
“Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of Man cometh.” (Matt. 24:42–44.) May we heed this warning given by the Lord and get our houses in order and be prepared for the coming of the Lord.
I’ll not waste time looking back, but instead, I shall be ever watchful for His return. I think that is a far better idea, with far better rewards, than re-living any single moment of my earthly life.
Journey With Me! 