Toothful Tuesday…

Early morning dental appointment, then back home for writing. That was the plan, anyway. What could go wrong, right?!

What is it about the dentist that sends so many of us round the bend, so to speak?

I’ve birthed three children, endured numerous injuries, surgeries, and painful procedures, over the years. One would think that I’d become a powerful weapon of war, with my pain tolerance being put to the test, on so many occasions.

Well, apparently not!

I’ve had this appointment for weeks, and there isn’t any easy way around a cavity. It had to be filled. While I wasn’t looking forward to the procedure, I certainly wasn’t that stressed about it, at least that was what I originally thought. I guess I was wrong.

I get up early, enjoy a cup of my peppermint tea, and throw myself together, which only takes like five minutes. I actually headed off to the dentist early, before I could change my mind, lol. Arriving safely, I sat quietly waiting for my name to be called.

Once I’d been brought to the dentist chair, I settled in and waited. I’ll admit that my stress was rising, with all the sounds and smells that accompany a medical procedure. After nearly fifteen minutes of brooding in my chair, they arrived to give me the shot that would numb my face for the next six hours.

Needless to say, the needle part hurt. While it was painful, I didn’t think it was the end of the world, or anything. As tough as those few moments were, I endured. The dentist says, “Ok, that parts all over”, and they immediately put my chair in the upright position. That was a horrible idea, and I immediately knew I was going to pass out! I now remember saying I didn’t feel good, and could they put the chair back down, but that’s the last thing I can recall.

Suddenly, I was facing two strangers in mask that were shaking me, and asking if I could breath. I had no idea where I was for nearly two minutes, while a medical team had been hooking me up to blood pressure machines, and oxygen. They said I had some sort of seizure, or something.

Never fear, though, as I was able to recover enough to get the filling done on that tooth. I’m not going to go back and do that again, are you kidding me?!

My guess is that I was most likely holding my breath, out of stress. From there, I must have had a full on anxiety attack that shut everything down, briefly. My panic attacks normally don’t come on that fast, and without any warning. I didn’t even have time to employ any form of calming exercise. It didn’t help that they sat my chair upright, much faster than they probably should have done.

So, I’d like to say long story short, here, but that obviously wasn’t a short story, at all. And, while I’m back home with a fully filled tooth, I still don’t feel right. It’s noon and my mouth is still partially numb. I didn’t get much of any writing done, aside from telling my tragic tale of toothy woe. To any who stayed long enough to read through, til the end, I thank you.

I would be ever so grateful for virtual hugs, cookies, and comments like “that’s awful”, “you poor thing”, and some sprinklings of “how brave you were, Wiwohka”.

While you do that, I will go make some oatmeal. I think I can eat it without biting my own tongue, or worse, my lip.

At dawn’s first light…

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?

Early mornings have always been my time to be most productive, due to the quiet, most probably. After a good nights rest, the early morning hours become like a peaceful sanctuary. There are few interruptions to distract me from the days goals.

While I may rarely leave our apartment, my day is certainly not without it’s numerous interruptions. There are busy traffic sounds, just outside our windows. An entire five story building is being constructed right across the way, so there are those sounds drifting in, as soon as the work day begins. Never mind about phone calls, text messages, chores, and meal planning. The list is still a long one, even for a homebound writer.

Mentioning that I am a writer only goes to further explain my need for the early morning quiet. While some might find writing in a chaotic environment to be conducive to successful literary creation… I most certainly do not!

Quiet hours of early morning study, prayer, and a hot cup of peppermint tea, are what I consider my most productive hours. As much of my WordPress writing is done live, and without previous preparation, I need it quiet so that I can concentrate. Some days I hit it well, if I’ve slept enough and woke in my normal early fashion. Then there are the days where I didn’t sleep so good, or stayed up later than was normal on the previous night. All bets are off on those mornings.

Well, that was most assuredly more information than any inquiring mind really wanted to know, regarding my productive hours of the day. But, just in case my answer gets used for some study that gets published in the New England Medical Journals, I figured I should put forth some effort.

Just for extra credit, I baked some cookies, as well…

It’s been a good morning!

Hugs

Doctors afraid to doctor…

Daily writing prompt
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?

I should have known better, I really should have. Putting any trust and faith in man, without relying on God to sort out the details always ends badly.

I am learning to walk one day at a time, seeking God’s sustaining power over man’s. It’s been a hard learned lesson, though. I can come to the father readily, when it comes to studying scripture, prayer, and living a godly and obedient life. But when it comes to certain aspects of surviving this earth, my strength can sometimes waver.

I’ve been enduring several form of physical ailments over the last year, without any real successful resolution. I get many headshakes, frowns, and “I know it’s unfortunate” statements from much of the medical profession. The stream of physicians offering pills to cover symptoms, but no cure, has been staggering.

The word discouragement doesn’t begin to cover it!

Several weeks ago, I took the risk of seeing yet another specialist, in the hopes that they might simply move ahead with my hernia surgery. Once again, there were a lot of apologies for how I must feel, but only more referrals that never went through, anyway. I can’t even get the insurance company to pay for one of my much needed medications. They’ll prescribe drugs that you can’t afford, nor will they do anything to solve the issue. Just more band aids.

Its become rather obvious that I must rely on God, and God alone. I’ve already dropped off two of the medications previously prescribed, and am working towards discontinuing three more. No more drugs!

2 Corinthians 12:9 says,

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.””

One day at a time, is all that I need to make it home. I would offer the advice of “Physician, heal thy self” but I don’t think most of them can any more…

(2024) Nervous… Me?

Daily writing prompt
What makes you nervous?

There was a time when I could say that I was the poster child for Anxiety! My nervousness was my very own survival mechanism of choice!

Not much of my life went the way I’d wanted, leaving me traumatized and wounded for many, many years. All of the life interuptuses I’ve endured, some from my own making, have landed me with two nervous roommates that never leave… IBS and Fibromyalgia.

While you may be wondering why I’ve allowed them to stay, to me, they are more like helpless children, needing constant care and supervision. In good conscience, I could no sooner evict these two, than I could my own children. By loving and tending my roommates, or scars if you will, God allows me to manage my own nervous anxieties, with grace, compassion and understanding.

Assigning a specific culprit to hold responsibility for making us nervous, seems rather silly. As WordPress is not leading a support group or therapy session, by asking everyone what makes them nervous, the only thing this prompt will successfully do is make everyone nervous about answering what makes them nervous.

Did they even look up the definition of the word, before they thought to ask the question? I did!

According to Google, which the world seems to think knows everything, the definition of nervous is this:

easily agitated or alarmed; tending to be anxious; highly strung.

“a sensitive, nervous person”

It seems rather ludicrous to ask a nervous person what makes them nervous! It quickly became apparent to me that the idea of being nervous is a mannerism, or a trait that has long since been established. Once I read the definition, I began thinking about how hard it would be to just randomly come up with an easy answer, over a cup of coffee in the morning.

If it were that easy for all us nervous folk to discover what makes us nervous, there would be millions of spare dollars floating around, that no longer need to be paid to the professionals who spend years learning how to become a therapist!

Just sayin…

Here, have a cookie…

They were supposed to look like pins and needles, but as the AI art generator reflects, it was much easier said than done! The closest it could come to what I wanted, was cookies stabbed by a decorative paperclip… go figure!

Gimme a smile…

Smiles are magical, I think. And, they’re contagious, too…

When someone smiles at you, don’t you just automatically want to smile back?

A smile can soften a heart, lift a person’s spirit, and/or trigger some actual good will toward our fellow man.

Take a baby’s smile, for instance. Don’t we get all mushy inside, and feel the sudden urge to speak babyeese… was dat a smile, awwww, you widdle fuzzy wuzzy bundle of bootiful awesomesauceness… hey, don’t judge me! I can’t help it!

The world is filled with all differing types of magical smiles, babies obviously being the best and most effective in brightening ones day. But, one must appreciate the value and magic of all the other differing smiles out there, as well…

Smiles are actually pretty important, as studies have shown how smiling affects ones health, and state of mind. It’s a real scientific thingie, I swear. I even googled it, to make sure that I did not mislead you in any way.

I typed in “what is the science behind a smile”, and this was googles reply:

The science behind smiling involves a positive feedback loop between facial muscles and brain chemistry, where contracting muscles (like the zygomatic major for mouth corners and orbicularis oculi for eye crinkles) trigger the release of mood-boosting neurotransmitters like dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, reducing stress and enhancing happiness. This “fake it ’til you make it” effect means even a forced smile can make you feel better, while genuine smiles (Duchenne smiles) signal authentic joy and foster connection, improving well-being and perceived attractiveness.  

How it works: The Muscle-Brain Connection

  • Sensory Input: Emotional data from experiences (seeing a friend, hearing good news) travels to the brain. 

Muscle Activation: Specific facial muscles contract: the zygomatic major pulls lips up, and the orbicularis oculi creates crow’s feet around the eyes. 

Brain Response: These muscle contractions send signals back to the brain, activating the reward system. 

Neurotransmitter Release: The brain releases feel-good chemicals:

  • Dopamine: Boosts pleasure and motivation. 

Endorphins: Act as natural pain relievers and mood elevators. Serotonin: Functions as a natural antidepressant, lifting mood. 

Types of Smiles

  • Social Smile: Involves only the mouth muscles (zygomatic major) and is used for politeness or social cues.
  • Genuine Smile (Duchenne Smile): Involves both mouth muscles and the orbicularis oculi, creating eye crinkles, signaling authentic happiness. 

Benefits of Smiling

Increases Attractiveness & Trust: Smiling people are often seen as more reliable, sincere, and attractive, enhancing social interactions. 

I challenge you to count your smiles this weekend. It’s merely an exercise, meant to show how many times you do smile, as well as, how many opportunities you’re given to intentionally smile at someone… remember, this is only an experiment. You don’t even have to tell anyone you’re doing it. Call it an exercise for health and wellness.

Whatever you do this weekend, remember how loved you are… that should help with the smile thing.

(June 2023) Investigating Truths…

Looking Up!

Believe it or not, this flower is actually a good three feet above my head! I would not have even noticed it, had I not paused for a moment to rest my aching back. I am not sure that I want to go as far as to say that I am glad I injured my back. But I can certainly appreciate the lessons gained from my recovery process. One of those lessons is that I need to slow down!

I learned to slow down both physically, as well as mentally. In the physical realm, too much of a good thing (walking) is never healthy without taking the time to make sure you are capable of pacing yourself. I am learning to slow my walking down, and also to take days off for a refuel. Selecting regular days to rest is something I have to force myself to do. Mentally, I think it is also very necessary to do the same thing…

Take a day off!?!

While realizing that it can be difficult, it’s so very necessary that we take a mental day off, once in a while! You know, shut the brain door… close the shutters to our internal house windows.

I hope you weren’t’ expecting me to expound on the mental day off, as there are too many self-help resources that have already saturated the market on this subject. Actually, I am not even going to spout anything useful in the physical activity department. I just like to “walk” you into an insight I’ve gained, rather than just throw it at you like a water balloon.

Beauty and goodness are all around us! Each and every day, the sun rises to reveal these things. It carries on toward darkness, til it’s replaced by the rising of the moon. Over and over, again and again, this happens. We’re given so many opportunities to see and experience all that God’s created just for our pleasure and enjoyment.

My insight, if you have not already figured it out, is this: Slow down, and take the time to LOOK UP!

Wednesday Words…

If you hadn’t already noticed, my writing has been rather ping pong like, of late. The lack of nutrition, lack of proper medication, and lack of any urgency by my doctor, has begun taking a toll on my ability to concentrate fully… not to mention the mental and emotional toll.

The soonest the surgeon could see me is November 6th, due to his being on vacation. Apparently, when a doctor takes time off, the world has to stop getting sick til they get back in the office. I’m rather surprised that a fully functioning hospital only has one specialty GI surgeon on staff. Anyway, they were going to make me wait until December 18th until I began to sob uncontrollably and beg them to see me sooner. According to the surgeons scheduling nurse, my referring GI doctor has at no point, made mention in my chart notes of any urgency in things. I don’t think doctors want to doctor any longer.

At least they moved my appointment closer, but that means I still have to make it another 2 more weeks, just for the consultation. I’ll still have to wait for him to agree that it’s medically necessary, let alone schedule a surgery.

I’ve been surviving on a bowl of oatmeal, and a chicken/rice/vegi bowl thing I’ve concocted for optimal caloric and nutritional needs… I can’t get beyond about 650 calories per day. This has been my meal plan since the beginning of July.

That means no coffee, gluten, dairy, chocolate, and absolutely everything outside of a list of about 8 safe items to meet my needs daily. I am slowly starving to death, but at least it’s SLOWLY, which buys me time.

I am fully in God’s hands, so no worries. Like I’ve mentioned in the past, writing out my feelings on WordPress, is really my only outlet. I often share my journey with you, not for pity or pocket change, but to remind myself that I exist, and am called to continue forward in faith… even when my strength is gone. Thankfully, that is where God shines the brightest!

The reason for all this TMI is simply this,

For the next few weeks I’ll be posting articles solely from the archives. As I feel that my health situation has compromised my ability to write amidst this part of my journey, I’ll be relying on all the oldies but goodies, so you should enjoy it, I think.

I won’t be absent from you, nor will I stop reading and supporting you in all that you do. I simply need to get past this little dip in the road, if that makes any sense.

Let’s have some fun with these next few weeks and go wild with all the memories! I want to do a whole retro thingie, reposting some of the Do You Remember Mondays, Investigating Truths, Live Novel Fridays, Note To Self Saturdays, and even some Live Wire Sundays.

And, I give you my solemn oath that I shall bake fresh virtual cookies, even though the articles aren’t fresh. Stale cookies just won’t do…

Right now? Oatmeal…

Daily writing prompt
Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Now, I’m certain that you were expecting wax poetic over my prayer life, studying the word of God, and/or the incredible love of Jesus Christ… but, I think I do that already. This morning, I opted for something different!

So, in all seriousness, when IBS decided to have a field day with me nearly two months ago… oatmeal has been my life’s blood!

After things were said and done, they kind of just sent me home with a sack of medications. Apparently, I would be on my own from that point, as they didn’t seem bothered by the results from my two procedures. That’s the beauty of IBS… it won’t kill me, but it will never go away.

I had to start at the bottom of my health pile, sifting through every single detail of my own body’s struggle with foods, stress, trauma, poverty, and circumstantial solitude. I shall have to walk this path alone, as far as doctors are concerned. I’ve come to peace with the 4 medications I’ll be taking from now on, as none of them effect the brain. My spirit and emotional health belong to God, and him alone.

This is where my joy of oatmeal arrives… it’s the single thing to eat each day that doesn’t hurt! Even with the removal of caffeine, gluten, and lactose products, I’m still far from home on the IBS Safari Tours!

I’ve adopted an intermittent fasting lifestyle, somewhat. Though the schedule allows for me to consume calories for up to an 8 hour stretch, my body only seems to be happy with eating between noon and 5 o’clock. Part of the issue comes from all the medications I use throughout the day to coat my stomach and intestines. I have to take them 4 times a day in order to eat, and there’s time restrictions for before and after each dose. 5 hours is easier to work with, truth be told.

Why is 5 hours easier, you ask? Because, my roommate IBS tends to lose all trust in my ability to feed myself when she gets upset… always has and always will! No matter how my mind copes with stress and trauma, IBS will always have her day in court, so to speak.

Thankfully, she readily accepts the oatmeal with a tablespoon of brown sugar and a bit of Oat Milk. Work with what you got… and I got oatmeal, baby!

Cookies?

DIY it!

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

I’ve come to discover, in my older years, how the health and medical systems function… if you don’t have a hole in you somewhere that isn’t fixed with duct tape, don’t bother asking a doctor! All they seem to be capable of doing these days is either sewing things shut, or stuffing pills in your face!

I am exhausted with doctors telling me they see a problem… but it’s just not bad enough to fix… yet! They want me to just wait it out, I guess.

This last 8 weeks have been somewhat of a nightmare for me, if I’m to be fully honest everyone. Not only did my stomach decide to camp with the enemy, but I had to suffer the indignity of both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and a CAT scan, along with existing off of oatmeal and rice the entire time. What did they discover, you might be asking? With very little concern from the doctor, he found lesions on my liver, a small hernia below my esophagus and a few other apparently insignificant findings.

Here I sit, a week out from the last two procedures, in the same place I’d been in when I sought help in the first place! Just a large amount of shoulder shrugs… thank you so much for all the probing, sticking, and false empathy… makes me want to throw up in my mouth just a bit!

So, with that, I’m back to my DIY, FIY, and LGALG routine… I dare you to try and figure out the last set of initials stand for!

Basically, I’ve had to become what I dub as a slutty vegan! I’ve had to come up with my own version of nutrition, as well as, manage my own pain, which kinda sucks if you can’t take any NSAIDs by mouth. Absolutely everything I need for my body has to come from foods, and the list of what I can even tolerate has come to be very limited. This is the slutty vegan part!

I can have herbal tea, I can drink oat milk in small quantities, and I can eat a decent number of raw or frozen vegetables and fruits, as long as I’m careful. Certain things with too much fiber, or sugars in them really causes difficulties.

No more coffee, caffeine of any kind, chocolate, gluten, lactose, and a sleugh of other items that I’m to tired to list!

Pretty much everything has to be plant based, yay me! I can tolerate a little bit of egg, and chicken doesn’t bother me so this is my slutty compromise to this ridiculous food circus merry-go-round!

You can’t blame me for the overshare bit! Blame WordPress for asking me such a question. They’re just lucky they didn’t lose a finger or something.

Everyone knows not to poke a hungry bear…

Well, you better start eating this stuff cause I can’t, and I’m getting hungry just looking at it!

Body Heal Thy Self mode…

It’s a quiet Sunday morning, here.

Currently, I’m laying low and allowing my system some serious down time, if that makes any sense. I realize that I said body heal thy self, but it’s a bit more than that. While my mode wishes it to be so, I’ve placed myself in the hands of a rather competent physician, opting for a compromise in the “do it myself” department.

Careful selection of medications paired with a radical change in diet should hopefully allow my body to do some internal repair and restoration. I’d like to say that I was an iron clad warrior through our little sojourn in the wilderness, but it wasn’t exactly like that. Sadly, no muscle bound wild woman roared out of the darkness, but rather, a very exhausted, sick, and humble grandmother of six literally limped into this apartment. Can you believe it’s been two months already? Well, something like that… I’ve honestly lost track of time.

One of the medications I’m currently on is used for repairing the lining of my stomach. It must be taken four times a day for at least a month, possibly longer. The struggle has been to take the prescribed four doses without eating for several hours on either side of each dose. Add to that, my diet now restricts lactose, gluten, and…………… caffeine! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

Yes!

It’s actually not so bad, now that I’m used to decaf with non-dairy creamer mixed with oat milk. So far, so good, right?!

This last rough patch simply took more out of me than I wanted to admit. My mom had several strokes, a heart attack, due to both a history of high cholesterol and high blood pressure. She was also a diabetic. The woman oozed bad health for the entirety of her life, eventually passing from Dementia. This last set of bloodwork really made me pay attention to this history. I did a bunch of reading on the relationship between cholesterol and blood pressure, and I don’t want to follow my mother’s health journey. I’ve got a new grandbaby due in November, you guys. I need to be on deck!

So, until things start going in the right direction, health wise, I focus on nothing more than sleep, medication, reading, working on my final read through of a manuscript, and eating like a bird. Honestly, I don’t even mind eating sparsely right now, what with all that medication in my stomach. Not much of anything sounds good, aside from oatmeal and bananas.

The good side of this seclusion is that my imagination is on fire!

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying myself with adventures on the high seas, along with wrapping up this first novel. It’s time to begin the second volume. What better way to prep for it than to read the first story again, so it’s fresh in my mind.

Just because I’m turning lemons into lemonade Wiwohka style, it doesn’t mean that I’d recommend such a radical shift in lifestyle to anyone. This has been my modes operandum for a lifetime… feast or famine… highs and lows… joy and grief! Nothing in life worth having comes without cost, nor can we always have what we want without the cost taking it’s toll. I wanted to smoke cigarettes’ as a kid and it took me 40 years to quit! I wanted children and lost five babies in the attempt to bear the three beautiful girls I’ve got! I wanted my freedom from my first husband and it cost me the relationships I had with all three of my children! So many lessons in life have taught me how entwined the good is with the bad. No matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to have one without the other.

Maybe that’s the whole balance thing…