Before I answered this mornings prompt, I wanted to be sure that I had a proper understanding of what was being asked. So, I looked up the definition of principle, just to be sure!
1. a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.”the basic principles of Christianity” h Similar:truthpropositionconceptideatheorypostulateassumptionbasisfundamentalessenceessentialphilosophy
a rule or belief governing one’s personal behavior.”struggling to be true to their own principles” . Similar: morals morality moral standards moral values ethics code of ethics beliefs credo ideals standards integrity uprightness high-mindedness righteousness virtue probity rectitude sense of honor honor decency conscience sense of duty scruples
a general scientific theorem or law that has numerous special applications across a wide field.
In honesty, all that’s needed to fully answer the question now is a bible verse that you may be familiar with…
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 xThe second is this: y‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment zgreater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
After reading this verse, all you need to do is then re-read that list of similar words for principle. The ones from the dictionary do a fair job of describing the many ways to act, and live out all those principles that should define our lives! Just sayin…
The woman behind the counter smiled gently at me, as she cleaned her ear piercing tools. My heart was in my throat, it seemed. Getting my ears pierced was the most grown up thing I had ever done by my own choice.
My Nana had bought me a pair of earrings in the shape of bright red apples, but this time the jewelry wasn’t clip on… they were the real thing in the eyes of a 6 year old. My mother told me that I could get my ears done if I chose on my own… no hand holding or cajoling would be forthcoming.
I lay in bed awake the entire night before we embarked on this grown up lady stuff I wanted to take part in. I was terrified, of what I am not sure… but if they could poke me with a vaccination needle whenever they felt like it, and trade me a stupid sucker for my time, then I must be grown up enough to take the needle for a pair of gloriously beautiful red apple earrings. My mind was made up on the matter, so I just lay there and waited for the sun to come up.
I was so terrified of backing down and not being able to wear my new gift… it was in truth, the only thing that kept me on that swinging stool, there in that Bon Marche Department Store. I tucked my feet behind the bar beneath the seat, grabbed the sides of the stool with both hands in a military vice grip and tried to find my happy place.
I apparently had nothing to worry about, because it was over before it had begun! That fast… bang bang… All Done! They were kind enough to do both ears at the same moment, probably in case I backed out half way through the deal. I was so happy and proud of myself that I burst into tears, making the grown ups think I was in pain or shock. Not so!
I WAS A LADY!
So now I will explain the hilarious fall out from my Grown Up Anxiety Filled Sleepless Night… the reality of how most adults handle stress.
As exhausted as I was from no sleep and worry, over my piercing adventure, I never had a moment to catch some zzzzzz’s until that night after we got home. I was so tired that I could barely touch my dinner, and vaguely remember my mom walking me down the hallway to my bedroom……..
…. The rain fell steadily in the darkness, only illuminated by the distant street lamps, flickering occasionally. I was sitting in the passenger seat of our station wagon, while my parents were in a Parent/Teacher Conference up the street. As I waited for them to return, I saw movement not too far down the block, barely visible through the sheets of rain falling across the hood of the car.
I heard her before I saw her… this scary Witch that looked suspiciously like the lady off of the Wizard of Oz, if I am being completely honest. I could hear her laughing wickedly as she slowly materialized out of the darkness. Yup! It had to be that horrible woman who took Toto away from Dorothy. Don’t judge… I have a bucket list of different childhood memories that are triggered by different movies I had in my tiny mind.
Anyway, as the witch steadily approached my car, I frantically checked all the door locks and glanced up at the entrance of the School, hoping I would see my parents walking down the steps toward our car. Nope! As Jack Sparrow says, I was “all by me onesies”!
I crawled down under the dash where I could be hidden from view for the most part, except my feet could still be seen from the passenger door. I heard her approach the car, walk all the way around it dragging her super long witchy fingernails across the metal doors… witches always have super long curvy red nails if you needed a visual.
Then the witch stopped directly in front of the passenger side door where I was crouched down on the floor. All I could see was the tip of her hat, but I could hear what she was doing… she was picking the lock on my door with those awful fingernails. I watched in horror as the little metal door lock popped!
The next thing I knew, I was strapped onto a torture table, in the parking lot underneath the Sprouse Ritz Department Store, and that witch began to tickle me with those long fingernails…
It was torture! I began to laugh and could not stop! I fought to get away, but was strapped down so there was no escape for me… no way out! Except to wake up, but I had been so tired from the night before that it was like crawling through thick Jello to do anything. Never fear though, laughter is here… I laughed so hard that I rolled myself out of the top of our bunkbed and landed with a thump on the floor below. That did the trick!
Isn’t it funny the way we handle stress… often bottling our fears, stuffing them down and hiding them away from judging eyes. I realize that I was just a child and that the dream was probably just a way to release the tension I had been holding for several days over a perceived painful event. There was no real danger or trauma involved in ear piercing, but to a child trying to be a grown up, it most assuredly seemed like there might.
My take away from the whole affair was this… I would for sure think long and hard the next time I wanted to be a grown up!
From then to now, I still often find myself thinking long and hard every time I have to do grown up stuff… I know I should be fine with getting tickled all night in a parking lot, but this girl would rather leave the Witch back at Sprouse Reitz…
I suppose one might say, the last two years have been like walking through a darkened forest. And, often times, it felt like there was little or no light to see which way to go.
Never in my life did I think I’d find myself living in abject poverty, but never the less, here is where we are! Sure, I could start throwing out excuses, cast blame in multiple directions, and cry out how unfair my lot in life is. Nah… I’m too tired, and bellyaching about how life is hard, does nothing more than make my stomach hurt. And, just now, my stomach isn’t feeling good in the slightest.
I’ve shared some of the journey with you, here on WordPress, but most I’ve kept back in an attempt to spare you from watching the full trainwreck. I know that I probably have every right to cry Foul Ball, No Fair, and/or possibly even break out into song that “Everybody hates me, nobody likes me, I think I’ll eat some worms”. Truth is… life is hard! Moreso for some than for others. If you wish for a better answer, you go ask God, cause I don’t know everything. I will continue on through the darkness… because, I trust in One much greater than I, and where He leads, I will obediently follow!
I used to be afraid of the dark, but no longer…
Consider for a moment what it’s like to be in utter, blinding darkness. There you are, cold, frightened and lost; stumbling over unseen obstacles, and scraping your elbows on walls you bumped into… but then you realize that your eyes are beginning to adjust, allowing you to glimpse shadows here or there. You can now notice even the tiniest of reflections, like the water glistening off the rocks. If it’s so dark, how can you see reflections of anything?
Light is such a powerful thing, isn’t it? It can reach some of the darkest places you could imagine, from the tiniest of openings. Once it get’s in, the light simply bounces itself off of anything reflective, casting it’s warmth out into the shadows. As long as it has the surfaces it needs, light can hold it’s strength and reach great distances.
We all have the potential to carry the light forward into the darkness, with just as much strength and power from whence it came… if our heart has enough reflective surfaces for the light reach.
When I mentioned that I was not afraid of the dark anymore, it’s because I carry an eternal light within. I was gifted this light on the day of my spiritual rebirth… when I gave my life to God. It has never departed, nor will it, because that is the life of a believer.
Before you start thinking I’m claiming to have arrived at perfect enlightenment, standing on the front lines of the spiritual battlefield, and fully muscled up for said spiritual military maneuvers… let me put my feet back down on the ground and tell it like it really is, much of the time.
Many times, God tells me to do, or not do a thing, without any helpful information or back up team of Godly cheerleaders, singing my praises. Most of my service to God is done in the quiet, in the shadows, and yes, while going through the darkness… and, it’s not for the faint of heart, ladies and gentlemen!
The bible repeatedly tells us that we will have troubles in this world, on behalf of Christ, and that we should count it all Joy! When going through the darkness, there are, and will be, many times that we will not be feeling joy at all, but it’s never permanent… and God truly will ONLY give us what we are capable of handling, with His help!
I am not expected to carry the weight of the world’s darkness upon my shoulders, and for this I am eternally grateful. My only job is to rest in His arms and allow God to carry me through it, which is all I’m able to do, currently. External struggle and hardship, I’m well trained for surviving… I’ve been doing it since birth!
The fallout from said external punches, stabs, and full on high speed collisions from this world, along with the consequences of the life I lived, have finally brought me to one of the darkest and most difficult struggles I’ve ever battled… my own self, or my physical body. All the years of holding in my own scars, hurt, sorrows, and anger at God and everyone else, has cost me greatly.
As most of you already know, we were finally given sheltered housing back in March of this year, after nearly a full year of homelessness, and the year before that living without a toilet or running water. By the grace of God, housing finally came through, and for the moment… I say moment… we are safely deposited in a modest apartment. Many don’t even have that! Shortly after moving into this facility, the city decided to stop paying for many of their obligations. The rent here hasn’t been paid since May, I think. My husband is in school finishing a degree that is only being paid for if we make 0$, so there’s that. Our expedition that held over $7000.00 in tools was stolen, then our Edge was towed because this facility does not provide free parking. With no money to claim it, that vehicle was also lost. We lost both storage units for lack of funds, so everything is now gone, including the RV and all that was inside…. and f.y.i., this woman of God was still keeping all those scars, hurt, sorrows, anger at injustice, and complete isolation locked tightly inside.
Finally, the dam broke, as they say. After all those years of carrying, stuffing, covering over, and downplaying all of my own ugly baggage… my body has had enough!
When we were homeless, I actually gained over 30lbs, believe it or not! Days, nights, weeks, and months of eating out of bags and microwaves, plus sleeping in places I’d rather not talk about, did a fantastic job of destroying all the hard work I’d put in walking on my trails. I thought I could get myself back on track once we moved into our apartment, but beings that we’re nowhere near out of the woods, the stress and strain continued to break down my emotional defenses.
First came the nausea, heartburn, and other tummy troubles, which I attributed to my IBS. But then I began struggling to keep food down, and so I stopped eating. Was I trying to lose weight… no. But, did it bother me that I was quickly returning to my former weight, by not eating? Not really. It actually felt a little better to have an empty stomach, and the pain wasn’t as bad for a time.
Finally, I sought a doctor’s help back in late June. By July, they’d done a CAT scan, which reflected what they said was a minimal hernia, and nothing to worry about. Then, when I said I was getting worse, they did both an Endoscopy, as well as a Colonoscopy. Nope, nothing really wrong with you Mrs. Swartz, aside from your IBS. Let us know if you need more meds. Then the insurance decided they didn’t want to pay for part of my meds, so there went those antacid pills that were keeping me from constantly throwing up in my mouth… sorry, that was a bit graphic.
I have had to quite coffee, chocolate, gluten, dairy, and nearly everything else aside from oatmeal, chicken breast, peanuts, and white rice. I only eat about two to three bites of those fun gluten free bakes I’ve been doing… I’m too frightened to eat!
The scale in the doctor’s office said 171 back in July, when I had those tests. While I don’t own a scale, I can safely assume that I’ve dropped well below my 147 walking weight.
After a desperate phone call to my GI doctor’s nurse, where upon I had a complete, and very justified meltdown to a rather moody medical nurse, they offered to schedule me for an appointment in DECEMBER! Uh, at that point, the nurse asked if she could talk to me through email… gee, I wonder why?
Finally, they scheduled me for an Esophogram:
(Google) An esophogram, also known as a barium swallow, is an X-ray procedure that examines the esophagus using a contrast liquid, typically barium, to visualize the movement of food from the mouth to the stomach. This test helps diagnose conditions like blockages, hiatal hernias, inflammation, and swallowing disorders by showing how well the esophagus functions and the direction of food during swallowing. The procedure is painless, takes about 15 to 30 minutes, and patients can typically resume their normal activities and diet immediately after.
Guess what they found?
A hernia…
That minimal thing that they said was nothing…
Ya, that hernia!
It’s actually called a Sliding Hiadal Hernia, and it sits right at the bottom of my esophagus. When I swallow food, the opening at the base of my esophagus stays open and lets food and liquid come right back up. Add this to my IBS, my stress, and my weakened physical state… I’m slowly starving to death… and I seem to be the only one fairly alarmed, here!
Well, not the only one. My GI messaged me less than two hours after the test, offering to refer me to a surgeon. I think both he and I agree that I’m not a normal case, which can often be managed by what? Weight loss, change of diet, change of lifestyle, and or those silly pump-inhibitors that my insurance company seem to dislike paying for hasn’t done me any favors, thus far.
Surgery seems to be the answer, as it will most likely alleviate most, if not, all those different medications, currently not helping me get better.
Now, we wait! I am resting beneath my Father, as to the speed and outcome of things. I do not fear death, nor the darkness, because though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death… God walks with me through it, and if I should falter, He will not!
If you are walking through darkness, or lost in it, hold on… and look for the light I am carrying… perhaps, we might walk along together, side by side, for a bit…
Does it make me a bad person if I say that I wouldn’t give it away, at all?
Before you start thinking I’m some uncharitable ingrate, who’d take the money and run for the hills at the first chance, it’s not what you think.
I was born into poverty some 50 odd years ago, spent years growing up in the streets, and in the last 5 years, haven’t had the luxury of money, nor the familiar safety of a solid roof over my head… that is, until March of this year. In all my travels, thus far, whenever a person is just given free money… most simply squander it! Handing a starving person free money is like offering clean needles to heroin addicts. How about this? Try taking your life in your own hands by getting into the water with a drowning victim, go ahead… you first.
Media makes us all lose our ju ju’s over the most recent announcements of how high the current Power Ball Lottery is… like each one of us were simply destined to have those winning numbers! But, how many will admit that they went right out and bought a ticket anyway, just in case? Gambling casino’s are filled with the hurting, the hungry, and the lost, all willing to bet their rent or food money for a chance at better luck than they were given at birth.
It bothers me that we live in a day and time where it seems that the well of human kindness has simply run dry… or run for the revival tents.
We have Netflix specials to display all those Lottery Dream Home’s, YouTube millionaires and professional gamblers giving money, haircuts, and new shoes to people sleeping in the streets. I don’t think Oprah’s free car giveaways to her audiences did the world any favors… Oh, life is hard… here, have a free gift… you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car! Oh, you can’t pay for the taxes and licensing on said car? Why not?
The reason I said that I don’t think I’d give the money away, is because it’s foolish, that’s why! It’s much wiser to use the money to do what needs doing for those in need. If you feed a starving man instead of giving him the money to go buy it himself, the chances are higher that he’ll actually get fed, instead of shooting it, smoking it, or snorting it in a state of literal free fall.
Put that money into Food Banks, clothing banks, medical clinics, and shelters. Use the money to build a food bank, clothing bank, medical clinic, and/or shelter!
We need to get off our proverbial booties and get out there… do something to change lives instead of just handing out change!
My husband and I have been living off of nothing other than food stamps, for nearly 2 years now, and somehow we’re still here. That’s God, in my personal opinion.
So, when I consider what I’d do if I had an extra hard mil, simply laying around, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t know what to do with it, I’m sorry.
I was born angry, raised on the streets, and have plenty of scars to prove it. But, the most tell-tale sign of my origins… is my mouth!
It didn’t help that I spent a good five years riding in a Semi truck with my husband, soakin up the lingo from other truckers, while we sat waiting to load or unload.
They employed such colorful ways to express one’s immediate feelings, re-tell another truckers incredibly embellished stories, or build up their own tales of fiction. It was like taking a crash course at the Potty Mouth Institute!
I got so good at makin a man blush that it went to my head, and since there weren’t any kids around, I just started letting my own brand of foul words fly free. I didn’t really think I had a problem, but my own husband started giving me raised eyebrow looks. He actually started cutting back on his own bad language because of me, I think.
Then, about two years ago I just got sick of listening to my own vile utterances, so I decided to stop.
Honestly, I can say that it was one of, if not the most difficult goals I’ve ever set for myself. It ranks right up there with quitting a 40 year old smoking habit, though God carried me through that one. For this reason, I can’t technically say that the smoking was the most difficult goal.
Looking back now, I see a number of things that lost their charm, once God began reshaping and remolding my life to match His purposes. The more time spent in scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship with my heavenly Father, the less I struggled with my language. Over time, foul words began to bother me more. As I listened to other people use profanity, whether on television, in public, or on the gaming chat channels, I was convicted by my own discomfort at listening to others…. I sounded just the same when I swore!
I realize that words are just words, but for myself, I feel that it grieves my Holy Spirit. And, not just that… it could cause offense to another person! That was the part that sealed the deal, for me. There would be no more fence-walking on this one… foul words found the door, and I made sure to let the door hit them as they went out.
How bout them cookies…
Ok, so maybe the cookies are a bit large, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t taste good… well, maybe don’t eat the ones that landed on the road, as they’ve become soggy and gross.
When it comes to favorite hobbies or pastimes, I’ve led a very full life. Fortunately for me, having children to use as my excuse, I was able to shamelessly buy myself all manner of games, books, craft supplies, and the like… all under the guise of “it’s for my kids!”
As time marched on, however, my kids grew and moved away, so I became a closet crafter, for a good while.
Then, as age crept onto my hobby scene, my fading eyesight and arthritis stole much of my hobbies and pastimes, which included things like photography, gardening, painting, horse wrangling, camping, hiking, and the like. The list really does go on and on.
But, the one hobby that began when I was small… you know… my Easy Bake adventures in baking… some things never change!
With the fall season rushing to fill our senses, and our kitchens, with warm and comforting October favorites.
My favorite flavor’s during October center around apples, caramels, and those delectable crumbly cobbler style muffins and cakes.
I decided to start with the apple’s, as they go so well with fall spices and syrupy drizzles, which are my weakness.
Personally, I believe that an apple can make or break the flavor combinations in certain styles of bakes. While many apples are plenty sweet, tart, and juicy when you eat them raw, things change when you bake with them. If the apple isn’t tart enough to stand up to all the sugary flavor, the apple flavor gets drowned out, if you know what I mean.
So began my mission toward successfully baking a gluten-free apple cake from scratch… no more store bought box mixes! It was time…
First, I needed to find a recipe that I could follow for a flavorful apple cake, and gluten-free. Honestly, I see amazing videos on Facebook all the time, which is where I watched a woman make these jaw-droppingly glorious Apple Crumble Muffins. The down side was that it wasn’t gluten-free, and also made with muffin tins, which I don’t have unless my girlfriend brings hers over when she comes for Sunday Coffee/Tea.
So, I headed back to Pinterest, which is God’s gift to all DIYer’s!
I realized that an apple cake or bread was the better choice for this recipe, as using a muffin recipe can have unpredictable results when converting it to a bake in a cake or bread tin. I decided on a cake recipe, as I want to save the bread one for a pumpkin dessert I’m attempting to bake for you, on a different episode.
While I was forced to make numerous adjustments, which I will share as we go, under no circumstances do I wish to take any credit away from those that came before.
Here’s the original recipe and link, as I’m certain that this recipe will be just as wonderful, if not better than mine. Be sure and check it out…
High Protein Apple Crumble Cake (Gluten-Free!)
Make this Gluten-Free Apple Crumble Cake and fall obsessed in minutes! This high-protein dessert is a dream come true for so many reasons; it’s decadent without being heavy, it’s gluten-free and easy to digest, it’s sweet but not going to spoil your sweet tooth and it’s just downright beautiful! It’s packed with warm spices and the addition of protein powder makes it a nutritious choice, perfect for enjoying any time of day and sure to become a seasonal favourite.
Preheat oven to 350d. Grease and line an 8”pan with parchment paper and set aside.
Add oil, sugar, eggs, milk and vanilla to a bowl and whisk to combine.
In a separate bowl add dry ingredients and whisk to combine. Add dry to wet, whisking till you reach a smooth batter. Add chopped apples and fold them in until combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan, smoothing it out with an offset spatula.
Make the crumble topping by adding dry ingredients to a medium sized bowl.
Pour melted butter on top and stir to combine. The crumble should hold together when squeezed.
Scatter the top of the cake evenly with the crumble topping.
Place in preheated oven and bake until a skewer comes out clean from the centre of the cake and the cake is golden brown, 45-50 minutes.
Let the loaf rest in the pan for 15 minutes before removing the springform ring. Carefully transfer the cake to a wire rack to cool completely.
While cake is cooling make the glaze. Add glaze ingredients to a small bowl and whisk to combine.
Once cake is cool drizzle the top with the glaze and enjoy!
**Disclaimers** My cooking skills, ingredients, and baking tools are all based on real world baking! Not everyone can afford most of the high end name brands, or the organic labeled ingredients that triple the price simply by saying the words Gluten-free, Dairy-free, and the like. I also don’t think that the craftsmanship of said measuring cups and spoons, pans, trays, and/or cooling racks need be a deal breaker. I once watched a video of a guy making an entire burger on a clothing iron, and I would have eaten it! Rule for today is… sometimes ghetto get’s the same result! It depends on how hungry you are for somethin sweet, I guess.
Now, back to the bake…
So, with recipe on board, I set about my task of mastering the Apple.
I chose SugarBee for our apples, though you may have your own personal favorites.
As you may have noticed, there was far more sugar sweetening in the recipe, than apples, in my opinion, so I did some changing in regards to that drizzly sugar syrup topping. I also didn’t have any safe protein powder to add, as many use wheat and I don’t have the one she recommends. If any of you do this recipe and use the protein powder, please let me know how it turns out. I may go back later and try doing it with said powder added, just to see.
What I decided to do was add an extra quarter cup of my gluten-free flour to offset the moisture. I also did a radical change to the crumble topping, so watch for it, as we go. Alright, let’s do this!
First things first… we need to prep. A clean baking environment, breeds success…
I absolutely do pray that God gives me success, when baking. I need all the help I can get!
Apples peeled and diced. Half were set aside to be mixed into the cake…
The other half were turned into an apple compote, with quarter cup sugar, quarter cup brown sugar and quarter cup plant-based butter. I used Country Crock…
I didn’t make any other changes to the cake recipe, aside from the protein powder. I used Oat Milk in mine, but she says that you can use any plant based milk. I took the apples that were set aside, tossed them in some of the cake mixture, and then mixed them into the cake mix.
After lightly spraying my 9 inch cake pan with Olive Oil spray, I poured the cake mixture into my pan.
Here is where I went off the reservation… and a miracle happened!
I took all of the apple compote, liquid and all, and poured it on the top of my cake mixture. Looks reckless, doesn’t it? I didn’t stop there, though…
I filled that bad boy all the way to the rim of the pan with the crumble mixture, minus the pecans (I didn’t have any) from the recipe above. I was so worried that it would overflow before the sugar had a chance to caramelize and soak into the crumble mixture that I put a dish under it to catch the spills.
I realized early on that 350 for 45 – 50 minutes wasn’t going to get it done for this monstrosity, so I baked this apple crumble bomb at 380 for a whapping hour and 15 minutes… I know, right?! What was I thinking?
I think sometimes God loves to show favor on His children in some of the smallest, and most unexpected ways… that’s part of why I love God so!
Don’t ask me how, but I watched a miracle unfold, right before my oven eyes…
The only way that I can describe this would be to suggest one combine the most deliciously moist and flavorful apple cake/pie they’ve ever had, with the chewiest and gooiest apple oatmeal cookie known to mankind!
It was so heavy that I had to use two plastic plates from the Dollar Tree just to flip it over and out of the cake pan…
The apples didn’t sink to the bottom, nor was the cake stodgy or too bready, even after placing that pie filling on top, before baking.
I know the lighting is terrible, but I hope you get the idea… light and fluffy, with a caramelly crunchy topping.
I wouldn’t dream of taking credit for this amazing recipe, nor do I wish to forget the video from Facebook that gave me the idea for the compote, so please be sure to visit this site, as well. You never know, perhaps you’ll want to make them, too. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1226523166181722
I would have to say that this experiment in gluten-free baking was quite literally, The Bomb! Mee-maws Apple Bomb, that is…
Flowers come in every color, shape, and size that one can imagine… but, when the weather changes they die, leaving little or no trace of their presence.
The bible speaks on more than one occasion about how, if God takes such care in their details, how much more precious we are to Him. I mean, after all, we are all made in the image of God, by God, and for God’s pleasure.
If God didn’t love us so much, why would the bible say that He is a jealous God, wanting nothing more than for us to believe in Him, follow Him, love Him, and walk in paths of His righteousness?
All those glorious flowers that spring up in such breathtaking arrangements, wilt and die off without a thought to Him that gave them life… and yet, in each new season, God brings them back again, with such loving faithfulness.
Whenever my eyes come to rest upon a delicate and lightly scented flower, it is a constant reminder of how much my Lord values me… me! Why?
I have sinned many times…
Many times have I been sinned against…
Sometimes, forgiveness between humans is there and sometimes it is not…
My childhood was torn from me, violently… I have to lay that down on the alter, each and every day!
I tore my three children’s lives apart, when I divorced their father… I have to lay that down on the alter, each and every day!
Why on earth does He tell me I’m forgiven, loved, and of use to Him… each and every day? And, He does this faithfully, for me… little ole me… the one that I just told you about. The woman who was abused as a child, became a runaway, became a Christian, became a wife and mother… only to become an adulteress! I single handedly destroyed my daughters lives, and I shall bear it all the way to the gates of heaven. Why does He want me?
Why? Because God chose me before the beginning of the world… because He knew what was to come… because He knew I would be abused, knew that I would run, knew the very day I would commit my life to Him, knew of my marriage, children, several affairs, divorce … God knew that I would be an adulteress… He knew!
And, here I sit typing to you this morning, still breathing, still getting up and dusting myself off again, and going back to the one place that answers that why I was just asking… Scripture! God tells me why He chose me, on each and every page that I read… it’s all there!
One just has to look. Reading is fundamental, as they say.
Journey With Me! 