Category: funny

(2024) I Wouldn’t…

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Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
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Between my husband and I, we have raised 6 teenagers… boys and girls! One thing I have learned over the years is that the moment you attempt giving advice, they will bolt like a Ferel animal!

Why? Hormones!

Teenagers are similar in behavior, to a hot blooded Thoroughbred race horse… always hungry, mad, excited, horny and quite sweaty!

You feed them the best you can, and try to sooth them when they are angry. You try to calm them when they won’t stop bouncing off the walls, and diligently make efforts to coral them from freely using their private parts.

Daily, you make every effort to hose them off before they leave the house… throwing a stick of deodorant in their general direction. Ok, well, a horse may not know how to use a stick of deodorant, but then again, neither do most teenagers. I caught one of my kids using a can of Febreze for body spray… not even kidding!

I will go back even further, into my teenage years, confirming that I myself had intentionally assigned ALL adults with the label of ENEMY #1. Whether it was hormones, a traumatic upbringing or both… I did NOT listen to anyone!

No amount of coercing could entice me to go back and re-experience my teenage years, and quite honestly, kids today look the same as we did back then… hungry, mad, excited, horny and, yes… sweaty!

If I were to do anything for my teenage self… it would be to protect her, shelter her, encourage her, and guide her through my example, instead of my wordy grownup words…

Here, have a cookie…

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka3 Comments

How many of those receipt checkers at the grocery store, actually check the list and then compare it to what’s in your cart, item by item?

Why do dogs turn their noses up at certain foods, and yet they’ll happily go for an all-you-can-eat buffet at the litter box?

It’s too bad that people don’t tell lies as adults, like they did when they were children. It would be so much easier to find out the truth of a matter. Most children end up giving themselves away, just by the look on their faces.

Aren’t you glad that they came up with better thermometer’s than were used, back in the day. Could you imagine if adults still had to take their temperature with a baby booty thermometer? I think I’d rather deal with the fever!

Is it me, or are nearly half of our commercials these days made with either really bad actors, movie stars needing to make their mortgages, or simply ai generated ones? It’s like their not even trying to impress the viewer any more.

When asking Google about how many years it’s been since credit card spending became a thing, this was the response I was given…

AI Overview – It has been approximately 30 years since the very beginning of online credit card spending, which took off with the advent of secure, mainstream e-commerce in the mid-1990s. 

  • 1994–1995: The first “secure” online credit card transactions occurred around 1994 (with the introduction of SSL encryption and early browsers like Netscape). Amazon was founded in 1994/1995, marking the beginning of the e-commerce boom.
  • Late 1990s/Early 2000s: Online shopping became more than a novelty and gained momentum in the late 1990s as internet access became more common, with platforms like eBay (1995) and the founding of PayPal (1998) fueling the shift.
  • 2000s onwards: By the mid-2000s, online credit card payments had established themselves as a standard, secure payment method for consumers. 

While the first online transaction was made in 1994, it took several years for it to become truly “mainstream,” making the shift roughly 30 years ago from 2026. 

I never said that my Thursday Thoughts would be organized in any particular way. Most of the time, I simply sit drinking my tea while letting my mind wander over this and that. You might think it odd, or a worrisome habit of what might be called scatterbrain. No matter! I just happen to have a very imaginative and busy brain.

At my age, which is nearing 58, it’s vitally important to keep the brain engaged and actively learning. This is partly why I ask myself random questions and then go look em up on Google. Trying to exercise my brain with those silly phone apps only aggravates me. Anytime they put a timer on a game or activity, it’s no longer fun for this girl. I like to be challenged but not with a timer… too much stress.

Maybe there’s just too much old school in this brain, but if it ain’t broke… well then, don’t try fixing it!

(2024) All the shoes that loved me…

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Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
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Though I’ve no desire to reminisce about the differing places my shoes have been, I am able to reflect on the ones I’ve worn over the years.

I do still have my first pair of baby shoes tucked away in a box…

From baby booties til now, I’ve moved from sneakers to cowboy boots, and back to sneakers, again. Then I went from sneakers to differing ladies fancy shoes, but soon returned to sneakers.

I even tried going from sneakers to moccasins, but still found myself back in sneakers!

I’ve finally come to rest on living a shared sneaker/slipper lifestyle.

I keep em as long as they’ll hold up! No one should ever give up on a garment just because it looks a bit faded or worn. Quite honestly, my shoes don’t feel right until after they’ve been stretched, stained, and well broken in. 

My sneakers average a life of about a year, but that’s pushing it… and I usually own twin pairs so they will last longer.  I walk alot!

Right now, I own a pair of fluffy slipper shoes that a friend gave me last year.  They are stained from my coffee spills, but oh so faithfully comfortable.

There ya have it, folks, more information than you ever wanted or needed to know about the life of my feet.

Here, have a cookie that my feet have NOT been anywhere near…

though there have been a few squirrels involved in presenting them.

Wednesday Words…

Wiwohka2 Comments

Eustace is determined that I should get Valentines cookies that won’t hurt my stomach, so he spent the whole of yesterday baking dairy-free, Gluten-free, and low sugar/sodium cookies… Oh, Joy!

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that they looked and tasted kind of like Playdough.

Shhhhhhhh…..

I do a little dance…

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Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
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While I could show you a video of my own very excited, and amazingly fantastic news dance, I’ll show you the video of how I learned to do it. No one does it better than Johnny Depp and Mia Wasikowska…

Seriously though, I really do dance a bitty Jig when I get really happy. You should’ve seen the crazy dancin that went down at the birth of each of my grandbabies. I could have been a star (not really).

The next best thing to do with good news is to bake cookies, and I’m very good at that! Well, at least I think so…

Wait! Does my hat make those cookies look funny?

Hang on, cause I think I can fix that…

Monday Messages…

Wiwohka4 Comments

It’s amazing what kind of stuff you can find in a dictionary, but what if it’s not amazing stuff… what if it’s inamazing? Apparently, that’s not a real word, and I even checked!

So, what’s with Famous and Infamous? Why didn’t they just say famous or average… famous or unknown… or even, famous or boring? I think these are valid questions.

Before I go judging those who created the English language rules, I’ll make an effort towards some good old google research… that’s what everybody else does.

According to Google,

Famous and infamous both describe someone or something that is widely recognized, but they differ significantly in reputation: famous means well-known for positive, admirable, or neutral reasons, while infamous means famous for bad, evil, or scandalous actions. While a celebrity is famous, a criminal is infamous. 

Sorry, but that’s sort of a silly reason to do that with the word famous. You’re either famous or creepy, so why muck up the language waters?

What stops us from switching up all words and giving them nefarious opposites by adding two letters?

I thought to find out how many words they’ve actually done this to… oh, and they call these words Antonyms, if you were at all wondering.

Google says,

Many English words form opposites (antonyms) by adding the prefix in- (or its variations im-, il-, ir-) to indicate “not” or “opposite of.” Common examples include accurate/inaccurate, complete/incomplete, visible/invisible, formal/informal, and sensitive/insensitive. 

Ok, in some instances, I guess it actually does make sense, and also saves a good amount of time in explaining a thing… but all of them? I’m still not sold!

In most of these words, adding the in seems more like holding a mirror up to a word, and seeing it’s perfect opposite. But I believe that some words are too broad of a word to simply flip-flop it’s meaning with two simple letters.

Here’s where things get really irritating for me, personally…

Valuable and Invaluable,

Valuable and invaluable are often confused, but they are not antonyms; rather, invaluable is an extreme form of valuable. Valuable means having high worth, importance, or monetary value. Invaluable means something is so extremely precious, useful, or essential that its worth cannot be calculated—it is truly priceless. 

Now, they’ve added a new in word, but with an entirely different definition to remember.

How on earth did any of us learn to read as children, honestly? Grown ups need to make up their minds, I think.

Wednesday Words…

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Eustace has taken to plowing the whole back half of the barnyard, planting everything green, including zucchini squash, asparagus, romaine lettuce, and of all things, watermelon. It’s all the way at the back, near the tree line. I told him it was far to early for them, but you know how the camel can be when he gets on one of his kicks.

Honestly, I think he’s growing enough for the entire valley.

We’re gonna need a fruit and veggie stand down by the road, unless he thinks he can eat all that stuff, once harvest time gets here. Bless his heart, though.

I think he’s finally found his passion, and seems much happier than working in an office… and, I’m reaping all the benefits, muhahahahhhh.

Show me the money…

Wiwohka5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
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I finally quite making those ridiculous to-do lists, as they only reminded me of what seemed to never get done!

Since there are no longer any of those discouraging lists lying around, I’m free to take one day at a time, while savoring my successes and rethinking my failures.

Whether I ever come to any financial success is no longer a priority, but rather, where I put my faith and hope. God speaks to me freely, and without handing out any lists.

I know that we like to make lists to make us feel like we are moving forward, or getting a thing accomplished. I suppose that’s all well and good, to a point. However, for many folks, we tend to take things a bit over the edge. Notice how I’ve said we, because I’m no different than anyone else.

It’s alright to make a list of things essential for the day’s comings and goings, but beyond that? Perhaps we should just put “don’t let the tires out of your nasty neighbor’s tires” and, “smile when you feel like crying” on those lists.

My point is that we often put the wrong things on our to-do lists, which is why they never seem to get done!

We humans tend to make things an awful lot harder than we need to, especially when it comes to our to-do lists.

I vote for a to-do list burning party! I’ve got the cookies…

(2025) Come On In…

Wiwohka4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
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This may be a repost of last year, but it’ll do. Plus, we’re no longer in that hotel room, so don’t panic!

Since I’m too lazy to look back and find my answer from last year’s prompt, you’ll get a fresh answer, though it won’t be a so called “favorite”… but it’ll still probably make you hungry.

Our room only comes with a microwave, countertop range (two spots to boil or fry something), a glass mixing bowl, one frying pan with a lid that belongs to a smaller pan, and a handful of kitchen utensils, and there’s no cooking going on in here, unless I want every single item we own to smell like our last meal. For everyone’s benefit, I’ll write about what I used to cook, instead.

There was my mother’s homemade chili, hamburger/cornbread casserole, or her lasagna… that lasagna was to die for!

During my children’s young years was the proving ground for my culinary skills, which were quite undervalued and appreciated, in my opinion. While they may offer mixed reviews, I feel quite accomplished in both cooking and baking. In truth, due to the creation of the Easy Bake Oven, my baking is probably the better of the two.

Meal wise, a sure fire winner would be my Brown Sugar Burgers. But only use the good buns, because the cheap kind always fall apart like wet paper! I think that I may have written about a Chicken, Mushroom, and Artichoke Fettuccini Alfredo, with fresh Sourdough Garlic Bread. Oh well, I won’t bore you with the details, but it was really good!

Dessert wise, I’ve been told that my Snickers Cheesecake was better than ‘you know what’, but my personal favorite desert would have to be in the cake department. It’s a homemade pound cake with French Vanilla Cream Cheese frosting, covered in fresh strawberries. The strawberries were sliced and covered in a sprinkling of sugar overnight. I always used the syrupy juice to drizzle across the top of the cake, right before it was sliced!

Hands down, cookies will always be my prize winner, but sometimes we have to remember the rest of all that yummy food. With that being said, I’ve done my part in offering a sincere answer to the prompt, but there are other things I wish to spend my time doing this morning, so I’m off for now…

You didn’t think I would forget the cookies, did you?

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka4 Comments

Thought #1 – What if everyone bought bags of wildflower mix, and just threw them out the window on their way to work every day?

Thought #2 – Why is it so adorable when a baby toots, but when I do it, everyone at the checkout counter gets mad?

Thought #3 – I want to take a sharpie, park myself in the doorway of my local grocery store, and demand all the employees offer up their pay stubs for me to verify. I don’t think that would last long, at all!

Thought #4 – What if all medical professionals had to provide proof of qualification, skillsets, bedside manners, and personal recommendations for each patient they cared for, before we paid our bill?

Thought #5 – If everyone on earth decided to run in the opposite direction of the earths natural rotation, all at the same time, would the earth start spinning the other way? (This was a joke, so don’t start thinking I believe the earth is flat, or anything like that nonsense.)

Thought #6 – If I were to ever have a kitty again, I would want one of those huge Maine Coons, I think. And, I’d teach him to talk so that he could explain why I only get to snuggle him when he feels like it. Why are cats sometimes so rude?

Thought #7 – I can remember dreams from all the way back when I was a small child, and yet, I can’t seem to remember where I last saw the fingernail clippers.

Well, I guess I’m all out of thoughts. But in my defense, it is only 10 in the morning… and I really do want some oatmeal… with raisins… and brown sugar… mmmmmmmm…

Ok, one last thought for this morning… Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day, so make sure you enjoy it!

Hugs