While I’m not certain as to the significance of where I might find said hair, I would most assuredly want it placed upon my head before any other part of my body.
I suppose if I traveled across the sea, as my ship allows me to do whenever I wish it, I might find flowing hair such as Fabio,
Or better yet, silky and soft like Angelina Jolie,
or even full and glossy like Catherine Zeta Jones,
But, whichever hair I end up selecting, I most definitely want it on my head… ya, for sure there…
wait, what?
Oops… forgive my mistake… I thought it said “If you could have hair anywhere, where in the world would you want it?”
It was an honest mistake, I can assure you (I am so lying about that… I absolutely did it on purpose)!
Sometimes, one must simply call it like it is, you know?
As per societies rules about routines and such, we all get up every morning, and obediently slip into our adulting patterns… day after day after day. Ewwwww!
Of course I’m going to try getting out of adulting, if at all possible… wouldn’t you?
So just remember, if you see me adulting… well, I’m possibly faking it!
So, in case anyone was waiting for the rest of the haircut memory…here goes!
Remember my girlfriend saying that I could one day laugh at her? Well, if your wondering, I did have the occasion to take her up on the offer to enjoy a laugh, at her expense. Probably about 3 or 4 years after the Horse Hair Tragedy of 95, I got an unforgettable call...
My girlfriend declared, “I am calling you first because I said I would, and you get the first chance to laugh before anyone else does.”
Let me back up just a tad…
From the time of his birth, my girlfriend’s son began receiving Beanie Baby Bear memorabilia from his grandmother, as well as, other friends and family. His baby room was covered wall to wall with adorable beanie bears, all perfectly encased, in those little plexiglass cases. Everyone knows that for a collectible, its value is in its preservation… especially the tags attached to the item, from its beginnings.
Well, with the confusing logic that’s usually employed by children, my friend’s son took it upon himself to take the tags off of all his beanie bears. He did this, not being concerned at all with the monetary importance of the tag being intact.
After getting all of his bears off of the shelves and out of their cases, he proceeded to get out his preschool scissors and cut off not only all of the tags, but any ear or foot attached to said tag.
I cannot remember exactly how many bears were maimed that day, but I do know it was a lot!
To this day we laugh about this memory, along with many other crazy things our babies put us through
One morning, while standing in my kitchen and talking on the phone with my girlfriend, I just knew something wasn’t right! I kept glancing out the window suspiciously towards the sound of singing.
There was my five-year-old, happily playing on her swing set in the back yard.
Something wasn’t right with the scene I observed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
You see, it’s usually the absence of noise that signals childhood mischief, but I could see her clearly and she was simply swinging. Wait a minute… that’s it!
I could see her but not clearly because of the distance between us. I asked my girlfriend to hold on a second, momentarily placing the phone on the counter. Leaning out the back door, I called for my daughter to come into the house. Hopping off of the swing, she happily made her way toward the back door, where I stood waiting.
As she drew near, my eyes became riveted to her forehead, where her bangs had once been. My baby gave herself a reverse mohawk! I saw what looked like a small monk! She had somehow sheared off all of the hair on her forehead!
In mortified shock I grabbed the phone up and cried to my friend, “You have to come over and look at my baby girl’s hair”!
Hanging up the phone, I attempted to calmly ask my child what happened… note that I said attempted. She looked concerned at my anger and said, pointedly, “My hair was in my eyes, so I got out your sewing scissors and cut it off.“
I was in tears by the time my girlfriend walked in and I turned to her for comfort in my hour of need. All I got from her was a long round of hysterical laughter. Point in fact, she laughed for a good bit, to my dismay.
“How can you laugh” I cried… “It’s not funny!”
As she tried to contain her laughter (not very well, I might add), my friend said, “I know this seems awful, but her hair will grow back. Look, kids do things like this. I’m sorry for laughing, but I can’t help it! Its hilarious, really it is! I’m sure you will look back on this and laugh, someday. In fact, you can laugh at anything my kids do to me when it happens. I will even call you first.”
After my girlfriend left, I had to hunt down all the evidence to be found. Underneath my own bed, I retrieved my scissors… along with a massive pile of hair! There was a lot more contributions of hair than I had anticipated, which was rather alarming! My thoughts momentarily raced to my other children, but then quickly moved on to one or more of the family pets in the house.
When I asked whose hair I’d found, she confidently took me to her toy pony, sittling in the corner of our family room. The poor jumpy horse had received an army style crew cut, and was never the same after that, the poor thing.
Of course, my girlfriend was right! I did look back and laugh.
And if you are wondering, I did have the occasion to take her up on that offer. Several years later, I did get my chance to laugh at her child’s silly antics.
While this prompt is actually a pretty decent one, and there are at least three or four hopes and dreams that bear mentioning, I’m unable to answer just now, for several reasons… one of which is my current low caffeine level.
The second reason isn’t what you might expect. I’ve somehow managed to injure my left hand, so its been hunt and peck typing since Saturday. This question about life in three years requires a far lengthier answer than my tired little phalanges can tackle!
And, the final reason for not offering any ideas is… right now, I just don’t know about anything, with any degree of confidence!
So, in trade for my usual witty comebacks, I thought this video was rather apropos, in a twisty, windy, and roundabout sort of way:
Luckily, my magic Easy Bake oven only requires that I push a simple button…
This should be so easy for us to organize and promote, OA’s (Overthinkers Anonymous members… you know who you are)!
Seeings as how we’re frequently up at all hours of the night, I feel confident that we could really make a go of this, don’t you? Come on guys, how about just this once, we agree about a thing, without taking all night to do it, please?
I know I don’t ask for things often, but this could be our moment to stand… to stand up and celebrate all those over-tired, over-worked, underpaid, unrecognized and/or simply stressed out members of society!
Hoping to save time in the decision making process, I’ve come up with a pretty fair quality title, along with a helpful slogan;
Owl Day!
We don’t care WHOOO you are
We’re just glad you DOOOO your part!
I’ve taken the liberty of selecting a few posters to choose from, and might I suggest we select a day in early January?
This would give us plenty of time to argue about the photos, and also gets us safely past all the New Years Resolutions we’ve no intention of keeping.
Nobody says it better than Willy Wonka, in my humble opinion. If you don’t watch at least a smidge of this video, then there’s something wrong with you…
I’m just teasing!
Seriously though, anyone whose ever seen the movie will most likely remember this song.
If anyone were to ask me at this moment, “Wiwohka, where do you come up with all the silly stories, ditties and adventures that you write about?”, I’d say Willy Wonka, for certain!
Why? I’ll try to explain…
Much of my childhood felt like a Quintin Tarentino version of young Charlie, from the movie…
How, then, did I go from that small, frightened and angry little girl, to the me that you see upon these pages? You guessed it… Willy Wonka!
I think that I desperately needed a safe place to rest, both mentally and emotionally, so when I watched Willy Wonka for the first time, I was hooked! Within my imagination, I could still believe that there was good in the world, somewhere…
I began to build a space within my tiny frame, where I could do, be or feel any way I wanted… and no one could take that away from me. In a way, I believe that God used my childlike imagination to preserve my sanity, during the most traumatic of beginnings.
And, somehow, from within that child’s imaginative heart, came the writer you see before you, now.
This is the only way I can express what it’s like to be a kid at heart, at least my version of it…
While many might consider this an easy question to answer, already having a list of wishes sitting in their reserve brain bank, just waiting for the day they encounter a magic Genie… CAUTION!!!!
Before you throw out your three magic wishes, in hopes of satisfying the Daily Prompt, I must bid you a warning… check their references!!!
First of all, how many times have we wanted and wished for a thing, only to regret it? I, personally, have some doozies!
Secondly, many Genies come with tricks and undisclosed disclaimers… if they assure you of the rules, do your due diligence to investigate their work history, first!
I suggest that you seek out some testimonials of your particular Genie, just to check on the satisfaction level… or survivability record, of previous users.
I always try to remember, just in case I were to run into a magic genie somewhere, no wish is as simple as it seems, and many come with extras that you hadn’t considered… or were prepared to handle…
Just sayin!
I promise these cookies aren’t magic ones… though they are pretty special…
Sometimes, our kids say the darndest things. Yes, I know that phrase has been widely used, but I am still going to use it though. If we think about it, the blatant truth of all the things our kids say, would be a catastrophe if we grown ups said them out loud. I guess this memory is the closest example I can give to prove my point.
Out of the mouths of our tiny human replicas, come some of the most jarring, yet accurate truths! While it can sometimes be embarrassing and/or even upsetting, we cannot fault the little truth detectors. As they have no clue regarding protocol or appropriateness of word usage, they are innocent of any malice. Just unadulterated truths that we grown ups learned how to keep zipped up.
Our small protégé are also emulating many of our own beliefs and attitudes, whether we wish to admit this or not. Monkey see monkey do, and our kids often reflect our behavior. But they often reflect to a greater extent, when they blurt out things we have said in the past. We were unaware they were mentally recording us. Childhood also does not come with a full understanding of what, or why grown-ups say and do the things they do.
While talking with my brother-in-law the other day, I was reminded of a funny situation back when his girls were little ones. When my husband and I were first together, he took me to visit his brother and family. It was wonderful to spend time with them, and I instantly fell in love with their daughters. These two girls were so sweet, and very bright for their young age, so I was enthralled.
On one of the mornings of our stay, we all sat around the breakfast table visiting and talking about this and that. When my husband mentioned that I was a photographer, the girls got all excited and asked to see my pictures. I pulled out my laptop and loaded up a file of my recent pictures, taken along our journey across the states to visit them. Somehow, I had a picture in the file of a woman I had done some work with recently. The girls were watching me scroll through the file, and when the picture of the woman appeared, the oldest of the two girls made two consecutive statements, one right after the other… without even a moment’s hesitation.
The first comment could possibly be classed as a reaction verses a statement… she exclaimed, “Oh My!”… and right on the heels of that, she declared, “She’s Hideous”!
I am not sure what was funnier… watching the girls mom turn three shades of red, and immediately try to correct the child, or my brother-in-law almost choking on his food, while laughing hysterically. I wish to point out some very important things to note here. One thing to note here, is that the woman did indeed have a unique look about her, and another note was that the child looked at her parents with some confusion… the tiny truthteller had simply called it like she saw it. She was not being mean, but rather, trying to describe what she saw on the screen. It did not help that my husband was laughing just as hard as his brother, and I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face.
Those girls were probably so confused by the grown-ups, they had no idea what to even say sorry about, or if it was ok to laugh with us or not. At the time, I sucked it up and sided with their mom, as I understood the ramifications if the outburst was not squelched then and there. They could have ended up getting kicked out of daycare for being cheeky. On the other hand, they were not my responsibility in the morality and respect departments, that job belonged to the parents. I found it absolutely Haylarious!
I will end this memory with two observations. One of which, is the fact that the child new without a doubt, what hideous meant and she used it properly. When I was small, my older sister blurted out in the grocery store check out, “John, you are so illegitimate”! He was trying to read the cover of the magazine on the rack, and she thought to say illiterate. The second observation I have made all these years later, looking fondly upon those two girls all grown up. Not only did they turn out to be very bright and beautiful woman, both have their mothers sensibilities as well as their fathers sense of humor… guess which parent they heard the word Hideous from… I wonder.
Journey With Me! 