Category: funny

Confidence is as confidence does…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Who is the most confident person you know?
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I’m going with Forest Gump on this one!

Just look at all the valuable lessons he’s taught, thus far. Why the title of today’s prompt response, in and of itself, was great wisdom.

Look how fast they roll off the tongue…

A confident person is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get!

I might not be confident, Jenny, but I know what love is.

… from that point on, whenever I was going anywhere, I was confident!

… and I met the confident president… aaaagiiinnn!

Me and confidence, we go together like peas and carrots!

See what I mean? What a guy! Oh, wait! I just realized that the person has to be someone I know, and I never actually met the man.

This is hard because I only know about a half dozen people, up close enough to gage their confidence level.

I’m going with my husband, as the man keeps movin whether it rains or shines. No has never stopped him, but only rerouted his path! Yes, I know I’m being partial. But, as this prompt fully intends us to answer with partiality, I’ve full license to proceed!

My husband! My best friend! My partner in crime! My lover! The other half of myself!

Wait! If all that is to be true, then what did I just say? Don’t think I walked you into me being the confident one, because that would be entirely self-gratifying and I’m in no way calling myself the most confident person in the room.

Doggone it! I went and did it again. I AM the only one in the room!

Well, whatever you choose to believe, here, I simply meant that my husband is truly the most confident person I know. We’re in this car together… til the wheels fall off!

Cookies for your time?

(2024) The List Goes on and on and on and on…

Wiwohka8 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
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I’ll be honest in saying that movies are more my thing, as far as binge watching anything over and over again. First of all I abhor commercials, so tv episodes usually only consist of about 18 minutes of show and 12 minutes of sales pitches on everything from toilet paper to cars! Secondly, I am not usually captivated enough by a television show, to watch it more than once… let alone more than 5 times.

That being said, I will confess that I’ve watched the Castle series more times than I wish to admit, but we purchased the series on DVD to alleviate all the bothersome commercials.

Now binge watching my favorite movies, on the other hand, is one of my guilty pleasures, as I am an avid insomniac with hours of nocturnal boredom. The list I’m about to give you, are my late night favorites, and the number of re-watches shall not be disclosed… but the number 5 is Childs play for this owl!

My ultimate go to, in the wee hours, is The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings… all of em!

Next up would be the Harry Potter series, but my most watched of that series has to be The Prisoner of Azkaban with Gary Oldman… great actor!

Then we have the entire series of Jurassic Park movies… the original will probably always be my favorite one, primarily due to them keeping it pretty close to the actual book.

Then there’s Tomb Raider… and Stargate… and of course, The entire line up of Pirates of the Caribbean, with Johnnie Depp. I absolutely love the entire cast of characters in each and every movie of this series.

If I were to list for you, every movie that I’ve watched too many times, we would be here til the cows come home, as they say. I will say this… we have a terabyte drive that holds over 600 movies and most of my favorites are on that drive, so there’s that…

Here, have a movie snack…

(2024) It’s a Menagerie…

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Daily writing prompt
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
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Obviously, my first thought was of the tortoise, which I often write about when it comes to my steady forward march in life.

But then again, there is the Loud Mouth Frog…

or Chatty Cathy, but she is more of a doll than an animal…

In the past I was akin to a Wolverine, all growly and snarly, with an aggressive attitude…

Of late, however, I’ve begun to see myself surfacing in some creatures you may be familiar with… let’s see…

There’s a mouse I can sometimes relate to…

While at other times I feel a bit Squirrelly…

Anywhere in between, you may find me looking a bit more creative…

Last but not least, there are those days where I just feel more bossy and fussy…

How could I ever forget to remind you of my ability to fling commas, and the like, all, over, everything………,,,, ,,,,,””””: … Just saying! I know she is not an animal, but she is an imaginary creature of sorts… and this is my blog, so I get to put whatever I want in here!

As there are simply too many different animals for me to choose from, I am unable to pick just one. I have mentioned on multiple occasions that I am a maelstrom of emotions, so it stands to reason that I should be able to pick all of the above, just to cover all my bases. Wouldn’t you agree?

Here, have a Wookie cookie to go with my crazy answer…

I made the goggles out of Oreos, so I know it’ll taste delish!

Eyes before ease…

Wiwohka1 Comment

… except after seas?

No, that’s not right. I believe the English language rule states that it’s i before e, except after c’s. What I’d like to know is why? If they both sound the same, why on earth are we throwing in a complicated if and or but with these words. Didn’t anybody ever hear of the adage, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” ? I’ve heard of it!

Before I get myself in an unnecessary bother, maybe we should first ask Mr. McGoogle to try and work out the problem.

Question #1 should be to establish what the actual rule states. No one should go on here say about a thing, but should instead seek the facts. Let’s do this…

According to the AI Overview,

In the English language, a common mnemonic spelling rule is: “I before E, except after C“. 

However, the full, more accurate rhyme often includes: “…or when sounded as ‘ay’ as in neighbor or weigh”. 

Key Details Regarding the Rule: “Cie” Words: Sometimes ie follows a c anyway, such as in science, glacier, ancient, and sufficient.

The “C” Exception: When the i and e combination follows a c, the order is usually ei (e.g., receive, ceiling, deceive, conceit).

The “Ay” Exception: When the ei combination makes a long “a” sound (like “ay”), e comes before i (e.g., neighbor, weigh, vein, sleigh).

Other Exceptions: There are many words that break this rule, such as weird, seize, leisure, protein, and foreign.

So, ok, I can agree with this ruling as long as it can be clearly determined by the pronunciation of the word. That part makes sense, but what screws everything up is the fact that there are so many varying accents from differing nationalities. What then? Unless one is prepared to pull up a voice modulator every single time one of these words come up, the margin for error is incredibly wide… in my humble antsy opinion.

I suppose if we only had a handful of words that utilized this particular linguistic merry-go-round, it wouldn’t cause me such aggravation. But guess what? The English language is smothered in the ie, ei, except after c, or ay rule. Not just that but we get to also separate words like weird, seize, leisure, protein, and foreign, as these words break all the rules. What’s an ant to do, here?

Well, figure things out is what I need to do, if I’m to make a top-notch journalist! If children can learn it, then so too can an ant… this ant, to be exact!

I’m a sucker for a furry face…

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Daily writing prompt
Where would you go on a shopping spree?
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I know it’s rather childish, but what do I care… if it sells furry babies, I’m in!

Seriously, if there was an opportunity for a shopping spree of any kind, I’d pick a farm and garden store. Something like Farm and Tractor Supply, or one of those feed stores that often have kitten’s running around in the warehouse. I wouldn’t care!

But, just for the sake of being thoroughly responsible, I’d probably settle for a store that also offered vet and grooming services. This way, I’m not being too hasty in my decision to fill our home with hungry, furry creatures. I already care for a hungry, hairy husband, so I’m well prepared for feeding, snuggling, and cleaning up messes around the house. It’s a win win!

If I picked the right store for said shopping spree, I’d make short work of all their departments, from the pet food and supply section, to lawn and garden, and a full walk through of the clothing and camping section. Before taking my bounty home, there would be full memberships in a lifetime supply of pet care and grooming services. Now my fur babies would be set for life!

You know, if it was a decent size store, maybe they’d have those prebuilt little garden sheds, too… I need room for my other hobbies, as well as, my Easy-Bake Oven.

You need love too!

Cookies?

Depends on whose asking the question…

Wiwohka4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
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If a fellow shooter, like myself, were the one asking, I’d say that it really gets on my nerves if they keep asking whether I brought enough bullets. Duh! I’ve three different weapons, all taking a different gauge ammunition, plus a compression bow. For the bow, I make my own poison tipped arrows. I keep a full quiver of those, at all times!

If it’s a child doing the talking, the last thing I wish to hear from the back seat is “are we there yet?” It feels somewhat like Chinese water torture, if I’m to give an actual descriptor.

If the questioner is your boss, most likely it’d be something akin to that child’s question. The adult version would be, “are you finished with that paperwork I gave you?” The difference between the two questions is that one annoys, while the other causes anxiety, or possibly visa versa. Maybe both, depending on the boss, or on which child was tormenting you from the back seat!

But, what if you’re the fellow, the child, or the boss? What about them?

I suppose if I were the fellow shooter, it’d be really aggravating to be asked why I forgot all my ammo? Trader Rect’s prices feel like Zombie highway robbery!

Gaining the perspective of a child, I’d guess that the most hated question might be, “have you finished cleaning your room?” Don’t blame the child because grown ups buy too much stuff. There’s never enough room in that bottom drawer for cramming things. While that question seems right on point, for today’s prompt, I can’t help but think on a couple good runner ups. There’s “Have you finished your homework?, Did you take out the trash yet?, or Is the dishwasher emptied?”

Considering what it’d be like as the boss, one would assume the dreaded questions would be along the lines of, “Can I take the day off?, or Can I leave early?” I imagine other questions and requests floating through the office, but as the boss, I’d be very grateful to have a decent HR department, for forwarding all those annoying questions to someone else to answer. That’s what I pay them for, right?!

Why did I write out this lengthy answer to the prompt, you may be asking yourselves?

Well, as I mostly write, study scripture, and play computer games with fictional characters, I don’t have any real questions that bother me. So I tried to assume what it’d feel like if I were in the shoes of those who do spend more time around others.

There you have it folks! A long winded answer to a question you never asked me in the first place. It’s sort of funny how we all read each others answers to a computer generated prompt. I will admit, though, sometimes creating random answers to the more ridiculous questions is fun. At least I make myself laugh, so there’s that!

Plus, you get a cookie out of the deal, so it’s not a total loss…

Wednesday Words…

Wiwohka7 Comments

Eustace is so proud of his corn crop that he’s already set up a popcorn stand to sell his wares. I tried to tell him that the corn hasn’t been harvested yet, nor is it ready to be picked, but he was just too excited.

Now all my popcorn’s missing, and one of my good slippers is stuck to the kitchen floor, somehow.

Just out of curiosity, does anybody know how to get caramel out of camel fur?

(2024) Punch Bug…

Wiwohka3 Comments

You cheated… I already saw that one… owch!

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
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I remember the days before technology allowed kids to spend 6 hours straight in an automobile Movie Theatre, laps filled with juice boxes and snack bags. Nope! I don’t even think I ever saw the inside of a car seat! Just our old station wagon, with parents in the front comfortably seated, while we all were stuffed into the back rows.

The only theatre entertainment we saw, was the live action movie of one of the two grown ups in the front, trying rather unsuccessfully to smack us for one reason or another! Our little ears were unceremoniously greeted with the musical threats of the time… some of the greatest hits to listen to were, If I Have To Come Back There, sung by the driver, or Just You Wait Til We Get Home, played by the assistant driver.

What were we to do for entertainment, as well as for our survival? After we tired of picking on each other, as no parent ever stopped the car for the child who cried, Mom, he won’t stop poking me… we looked for games that kept our attentions. We couldn’t play the “That’s who you’re gonna marry”, as we were not stuck in the parking lot of a grocery store, while our parents sought peaceful shelter within the local food mart! When the car is careening down the highway, kids had to get creative!

There were three games we could play for some much needed automobile on-board entertainment…

  1. I’m Going on a Picnic! In this game, since we didn’t have those snacks and drinks, one would call out an item they would take to eat if they could. There was a catch, however, as the next kid had to figure out why that item was chosen, and add an item that matched. It might be the color of the food, or perhaps its shape, flavor or the way it was prepared and packaged. The goal was to figure out the common denominator and add to the picnic.
  2. I Spy With My Little Eye! One child would select something within sight of the car, and then give clues to the others, as to what they were looking at. One could ask about size, color, shape or use… things like that, until someone figured it out.
  3. Punch Bug! This game was usually toward the end of the car ride, as by now we really didn’t like each other very much, there was nothing else to do, and it was a free chance to hit each other. This was a savored game and we saved up all our personal traveling grievances for the opportune DOUBLE PUNCH BUG attack!

So, here ya have it folks… If I were riding in an automobile, my opening sentence would most likely be “Yellow Cloth Top PUNCH BUG!” I’m very talented in using my middle knuckle when I tag your thigh, as it leaves the perfect little round bruise for later.

Yes, I am aware of what the prompt asked us today, but as this is the second attempt at sticking their nose into my business, I chose to write my response the way I wished. If they are so interested in my Autobiography, they can buy the book when it’s released and read the answer there… just sayin.

Here, have a cookie…

(2024) If I Only Had a Brain…

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Daily writing prompt
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
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While I COULD wile away the hours here, for your sake I won’t. Why? Because I actually DO have a brain!

But, the prompt did ask what three objects I couldn’t live without. Well, the first thing that came to mind was my brain. Without a brain, which is the central nervous system for this flesh mech, I, just like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, would simply hang limp on a pole in a corn field.

The second object that’s a must-have for survival, again, can be answered by one of the characters from that old movie, The Wizard of Oz. Remember the Tin Man? Without a heart to pump blood throughout the body, nourishing all of the precious organs that make us flux an flow, we would simply break down, shrivel up and cease to exist!

While I realize you were expecting me to call up the cowardly Lion for my third object needed, I think his courage actually came from his heart, so those two sort of go hand in hand, in my humble opinion. I’m going to call upon our beloved Dorothy… and her little dog too!

What is this thing that I am eluding too? Lungs! How on earth would Dorothy, or Toto for that matter, be a proper example of lungs, you may be asking? Judy Garland, who played the role of Dorothy, had an amazing singing voice, did she not? And, Toto had the ability to bark, which he did a great amount of, in order to protect and save the group of adventurers on several occasions. I am pretty confident in thinking that they both had a decent set of pipes!

Don’t ask me why The Wizard of Oz was the first thing that popped into my head when I read this mornings Daily Prompt question… I’ve no earthly idea.

But, you do have to admit that it worked pretty well. And, I’m being fully honest in choosing a brain, a heart and lungs as the three objects I couldn’t live without. I’m fairly certain that none of us would get along without them, don’t you agree?

In truth, I can get along without every other earthly object if it came down to brass tacks, as they say.

Here, have an apple. I promise, the trees won’t throw them at you…