Category: funny

Preferably when I’m asleep…

Wiwohka3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s the most fun way to exercise?
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Some of the best things that happen to us, happen while we are dreaming. Granted, some of the worst things to happen, also occur while we’re sleeping. But, let’s focus on the good ones.

Why, I can ride horses with the best of them, without getting kicked, bit, or trampled. I can run fast enough to either catch the bad guy… or maybe just get away! I can be the most athletic, beautiful, and charismatic heroin, or be the best art thief never captured!

My point here is that we do our best, act our most capable, and accomplish more in our dreams than in the real world.

I’m not saying that people don’t exercise, as many do. It just seems that since jogging hurts every internal organ I own, and most exercise takes far more expendable energy that I wish to offer up, on a daily basis… sleep yoga is far cheaper, more fun, and you can do it for as long as you feel like it. I haven’t yet woken up feeling tired from my workouts. Well, most of the time, anyways.

Have a cookie…

(2024) Depends on Who You Are…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What animals make the best/worst pets?
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I’ve a list longer than my arm, filled with the names and breeds of differing pets living under my roof, at one time or another. My life began in the country, so early years hold memories of horses, dogs, cats, mice, and a few birds.

Parenthood brought forth tanks of fish, hamsters, bunnies, snakes, rats and a number of additional birds. Most parents are familiar with raising and caring for their children’s pets. If the animal didn’t live in our home, it lived in one of my kids friends homes.

I’ve worked for a veterinarian that owned a menagerie of differing rare species, dropped on the clinics doorstep. I sometimes wonder how many ill prepared families offered up their pets to the nearest vet, neighbors barn, field, stream or toilet?

My point here, is this… there is no perfect answer, as to the best and/or worst pets to own! Only three things come to mind, in choosing the right or wrong companion for your family. Can you afford to provide it a healthy and safe environment, will you be prepared to love and care for it throughout its entire lifespan, and does it belong in a home or in the wild? Outside of those things, pet owning experiences are open to interpretation, if you know what I mean.

My personal favorites are, of course, dogs cats and horses… but I also boast a large barnyard of crazy adorable babes that I wouldn’t trade for the world!

Here, have a cookie…

Egg hunting should be an Olympic sport…

Wiwohka9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What Olympic sports do you enjoy watching the most?
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Tell me you wouldn’t binge watch videos of children’s antics during an Easter Egg hunt, but you’d be fibbing.

Watching one child take eggs out of the basket of another who isn’t looking, or following another child around, only to steal his or her egg find? You’ve never watched? It’s a riot! I’d binge watch that Olympic sport for hours, if I could.

An egg hunt is the best place to determine whose going to be the next pastor, and/or who will be the next politician… just sayin!

How bout them cookies?

(2024) Let’s Dance…

Wiwohka3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
If you could have something named after you, what would it be?
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I think it would be absolutely fantastic if we could come up with a dance move called “The Wiwohka!”

Basically, it’d be the name you can give to people when they question your style of dance. The stranger, the better! Preferably, you can form your style into that of an inebriated surfer, riding the waves of the music, as if you’re being stalked by a great white!

Try it! It’ll be fun for the whole family!

Here, have a boogie cookie…

Thursday Thoughts…

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How come grown-ups smile when they’re sad, but cry when they’re happy?

Why do we always have to clean our rooms? It took me hours to mess it up.

How come grown ups say “eat all your vegetables”, which are sometimes yucky, but they say “don’t fill up on sweets” when we eat fruit? We need both, I’m thinking.

Will I be allowed to ride the bus to school with Tommy, next door?

Surely, people have met trolls before. Miss Wiwohka doesn’t think it’s a good idea, because some folks can be sort of mean about the whole ‘pointy’ ears thing.

If I climbed those rafters with one of Wiwohka’s pillow cases, I think I might be able to float down without getting hurt. Maybe I’ll spread some hay on the floor, just in case.

I wonder if Pumpkin would be willing to give out rides across the pond, this summer…

If you’re wondering why today’s Thursday Thoughts are brought to you by me, Peanut, it’s because I never get to write for our barnyard, because Lilly and Eustace always hog the computer. It’s not fair, I say.

Well, things are about to change!

Today, this troll got here first!

And, I’ve been writing my thoughts out while she was taking her shower. Don’t judge! A troll’s gotta do what a troll’s gotta do, right?!

Pssssstttt! (whispers the troll) I’m getting out of here before she comes out… (Wiwohka’s voice can be heard in the background) … hey, what have you been up to, Peanut? … nothin (an adorable little red headed troll peeks out from the bedroom doorway).

Today is a great example…

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Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
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NO!

Today is not the day, WordPress!

I’ve a husband that just finished finals, and I’ve been running from doctors appointment to doctors appointment for over a week, now. We both need a break!

It’s time for some Icarus. They just released a new expansion so the game’s got my full attention… And you’re interfering with that plan, WP, no offense.

Today’s prompt came as the perfect opportunity for me to show you how easily I’m willing to say the NO word, when it comes to my goals.

Today’s goals?

Icarus…

Homemade muffins…

Time with my very best friend…

See? Nothin else fits!

Don’t think I’d forget your cookies…

That’s always, always a yes… even though the cookies say no.

(2023 remix) Space Travel, Here We Come…

Wiwohka3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
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The Big T!

Teleportation!

I know it’s not technically a skill or ability, but it kind of is in the world of imagination. That’s how I wanted to answer this prompt, so there’s that!

I hate to sit in an airplane, next to the door with the writing, “Occupied” above the handle. I want to travel, and see my loved ones, but between the cost of the flight, whether I want to pay to take my toothbrush, or if I want to drink anything better than water and a biscuit, I get discouraged.

Not even reserving my spot in 1st class, premier, or anything other than, hurry get on or we will leave you here, it is no longer easy, nor is it fun for me to travel.

If it were not for the blip in a movie where the object arrived inside out,

I would have pursued building and trying to use my own. For now, I will leave it to Hollywood, but once a large number of more daring volunteers successfully make it, I am for sure, all in!

Cookie?

I wasn’t sure if you wanted plain or frosted, so I made both…

Maybe cookies are actually my real secret ability, after all!

(2024) Woodpecker…

Wiwohka10 Comments

Daily writing prompt
What is one word that describes you?
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Of all the species of feathered flyers out there, the one bird that describes me would be the Woodpecker! Why? Well, I read off of the Wikipedia site that these birds have very strong jaw muscles.

Word? Oh, I thought it said Bird. Oh well! It’s too late to go back now…

Anyone who knows much about me, should already be aware that I talk a whole lot! I mean A LOT! I always have… and I highly doubt that I will be slowing down any time soon.

Over the years I have been chided about it, counseled to slow it down, and/or even avoided because of it. For a time, I attempted to back away from my own chatty nature, in hopes of pleasing others. I soon learned that it was more my personality than my chattiness that pushed others away. Their loss!

When I discovered that I like myself just as I am, I stopped trying to be that which I was not, for others sake!

I refer to myself as a Woodpecker, because I wish to be incessantly hammering out the love of Christ, over and over and over again!

For anyone who is bothered by my noise, there are plenty of other trees in the forest! I am sure you’ll find another comfortable place to perch!

God made me this way, so I’ve no intention of changing something if God tells me it’s not broken!

Here, I’ve left you some seeds…

Just kidding, sillies! I wouldn’t feed you bird seed… well, not only…

Wednesday Words…

Wiwohka4 Comments

What’s the likelihood of a camel successfully living in a Tiny Home?

Eustace seems to think he can make it work, though I’ve some serious doubts. Let’s just hope he doesn’t try to make it a multi-level house… that is, unless he wants a lot of open sky lights!

Well, if anybody can make it happen, I’m putting my vote toward team Eustace…

Planes, trains, and…

Wiwohka1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?
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While I think I ‘d rather enjoy a really cozy cabin, aboard Amtrak, I couldn’t help but think of that Steve Martin and John Candy movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It’s one of my favorite holiday movies to watch, and most everyone loved both of those comedic actors?

My favorite part of the whole movie was the airport scene with Edie McClurg, where they were trying to get their rental car, and she was busy making turkey sounds on the phone.

Then again, the snuggly hotel scene…

Specifically, the Chatty Cathy doll reference had me nearly pulling a stomach muscle from too much laughing.

While I love all of that movie, I would prefer that I stay on a train… with room service!

Have a cookie for the road…