Tag: love

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka6 Comments

My thoughts are somewhat muddled this morning. This afternoon is my first appointment with my new doctor, and I’m a bit nervous.

How many times have I gotten right to the very doorway of a solution to this health situation, only to have the door painfully slammed in my face? Too many, if I am to be fully honest, here.

Putting all that past disappointment behind us, it’s important that I go to this visit with hope, with grace, and with all the praying one can muster! This girl really wants to eat, you guys! Oatmeal is fine here and there, but every single day? For a year?

Without going into painful details, my body is definitely showing signs of malnutrition. This can’t go on for much longer, without some form of intervention.

So, here I sit, drinking my tea, and writing… well, trying to write!

I apologize if my writings always seem to be about me, in some round-a-bout way. When the only thing one do each day is to write, stare at the walls, and sing to themself… I guess that’s what happens. I don’t mean to do it, but unless I talk about my feelings, I’m afraid this is all just a bad dream, and I’ll simply disappear into nothing if I become too still, or quiet.

Am I the only one who ever feels this way?

It’s strange how I can be at peace in all the other areas of my life, but when illness overruns all the good stuff, it muddles my brain, if that makes any sense.

I’ve high hopes in this new physician, as she’s so far, fully restored certain medications that the insurance was fighting, completed my disability paperwork in record time, and enrolled me in several community services, including shuttle transportation to all my visits, and such. She instigated all of this, not me! She actually spent time looking through my records, I think.

Now, I am a faithful woman of God, here, and yet my nerves always get the better of me when it comes to my health. Oh ye, of little faith, right? I suppose the greater faith always grows from the hard things in life, not the easy ones.

Fortunately, my muddled brain, or my nervous spirit, really, have God always in my corner… always on my side, if you will. I have followed this path of His for far too many years of my life to stop now. I know that God takes me as I am… nervous nelly, and all!

If you’re at all wondering, my spirit is in a wonderful place, just now. I’m just muddled that’s all. I write so as to think it out, if you will.

My nerves may be telling me I’m prepping for mid-term finals or something, but in actuality, I’m sort of afraid to feel hopeful, to feel like this time there may be some light at the end of this tummy trouble tunnel!

Either way, I’m going!

(2024) Dead Air…

Wiwohka15 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
View all responses

Honesty is always the best policy, and I’d like to be as forthright in my answer as possible. I cannot actually come up with any compliments, from off the top of my head. I’ve not lived a life that taught me how to recognize this thing we call a compliment. I have not lived a life that offered anyone who cared, an opportunity to offer great words of affirmation toward much, if any, of my behavior or character… it’s actually been quite the opposite!

Oh, I’m sure that I’ve been offered positive comments here and there, but none have ever felt either sincere or useful enough to carry me to any great height… I’m just being completely honest!

Nothing my parents ever said, came with a behavior that backed up the words draining out of their mouths!

I had a great many men drip words of insincerity in my direction, with nothing more than selfish or nefarious purposes in their minds!

There was no one to push me into an academic or career direction, with words that might lead me to believe I was smart, in any form!

My entire life has been a fight. Pushing against adversity from every single direction I looked! I was discouraged from having children, but I did it anyway! I raised three daughters, served in the church til I bled, homeschooled my girls while simultaneously working side jobs housekeeping, and getting a college degree… while also cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and serving in a miserable marriage for 16 years. When I divorced, the only reverberating words offered by friends, family AND church was… “well, you left!”

For anyone who may have offered a compliment to my person, I thank you for your kindness. I apologize if I’ve not shown any gratitude for said compliments, but I stopped expecting or even looking for them when I was eleven!

I don’t wish for you to think me bitter, as I’ve moved away from that place of loneliness and sorrow. In honesty, I’ve only one compliment that would be worth anything and everything, but alas, I’m not home yet!

With whatever time I have left on this earth, I shall strive to live a life worthy of God’s approval, to the best of my ability . My heart yearns to hear the only words that will matter… Well Done My Good and Faithful Servant! Just sayin…

Cookie?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Wiwohka3 Comments

What on earth happened yesterday? One moment I was typing out my prompt answer, and the next, we were moving out of our apartment!

For anyone not aware of our recent FunVee activities, some moron decided it would be fun to set a fire in the 4th floor garbage room, thereby, setting off that section of the buildings water suppression units. It flooded all the way to the basement parking lot!

We’ve had to wait nearly three weeks for them to get to our unit for repairs, and had been under the understanding that they would work around us. That wasn’t happening, as there were about 10 of them + us … which equaled out that we would be spending at least several days, corralled in our tiny bedroom with all our belongings. They needed to basically gut the whole left side of the apartment and the bathroom, as well. Mold has become a concern, so plans changed.

In the space of 4 hours, 6 darling young maintenance workers helped us completely move from the 2nd floor to the 5th! It’s the Penthouse baby!

Well, maybe not THE penthouse, but it’s actually a bit more spacious than our previous unit. Though we’ve just a little one bedroom there’s now room for my office to sit beside my husbands. The nice thing about this is because now I have room to turn my closet into a baby nook for Maisie when she starts coming over. I get to babysit when my daughter goes back to work, and I’m so stoked!

It’s perfect for her crib, and there’s room for a bookshelf and toy bin, once the pictures all get put back on the walls. Baby steps! Hahahahah, I just realized what I did, there.

Why must I take baby steps, you may be asking? Well, you try moving in only 4 hours! Me and my island of misfit internal organs had a field day, yesterday. Fibro started banging on her drums, thereby, sending IBS running off the reservation, and finally that left Arthuritis (yes I purposely misspelled that), to simply wipe out my back for the next several days. Folks it hurts to type, lol! My fingers keep falling asleep.

Personally, I think the move was worth it for the rewards…

Wouldn’t you agree?

(for my daughter’s privacy, I’ll often be implementing our SugarPlum, as my granddaughter’s stand-in.)

Thursday Thoughts…

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Thought #1 – Maybe my grandbabies will come over in the next few weeks, so we can make homemade waffles with fresh strawberries and real whipping cream.

Thought #2 – I wonder if being ticklish is hereditary? There was never any opportunity to ask my mom if she was ticklish. I know that I am terribly ticklish, especially on my feet. Maisie is also ticklish on her feet. I know it’s only me, but I want to think that maybe I passed that to my girls, and now my daughter has passed it to my grandbaby. I just wonder about it, that’s all.

Thought #3 – Can a person get an ear infection by listening to dirty music?

Thought #4 – I’m so glad somebody invented toothpaste! At least we don’t have to use body wash or good ole Irish spring. Ughhht… I just almost threw up in my mouth, gross!

Thought #5 – What if fresh air always smelled like watermelon, on a rainy day?

Thought #6 – What ever happened to the people that Jesus encountered during his time on earth? Where did they go? How did their lives change? What did they ever make of their lives, once changed by the Son of God?

Thought #7 – How fast would the world tilt off its own axis, after all manner of phones vanished overnight? Would we simply go back to writing letters and employing the Pony Express?

Thought #8 – What is the price of a smile… or the cost of physical touch?

Thought #9 – A human soul isn’t born filled with hatred, being that it’s a learned behavior. On the contrary, it’s rather interesting that each of us are born with an innate sense of love, without ever having to be taught.

Thought #9 – Why is it then so very hard to give love sometimes, but hatred enters the room by such a minute effort.

Thought #10 – It’s kind of funny how minute has two differing definitions. We all know that a minute is 60 seconds, and yet if we change the way we pronounce it, the definition is completely different. According to Mr. McGoogle, minute (pronounced my-NOOT) means very small, tiny, or insignificant, while the time measurement (MIN-it) comes from the same Latin root but refers to a “small part” of an hour, and can also mean detailed or precise.

See? We can learn something new every day! I knew that old adage would ring true, at least in this particular instance it does. Just sayin!

Friday’s almost here, folks, so that aught to give us all some things to have thoughts about, right?!

Hugs

(2024) Punch Bug…

Wiwohka3 Comments

You cheated… I already saw that one… owch!

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
View all responses

I remember the days before technology allowed kids to spend 6 hours straight in an automobile Movie Theatre, laps filled with juice boxes and snack bags. Nope! I don’t even think I ever saw the inside of a car seat! Just our old station wagon, with parents in the front comfortably seated, while we all were stuffed into the back rows.

The only theatre entertainment we saw, was the live action movie of one of the two grown ups in the front, trying rather unsuccessfully to smack us for one reason or another! Our little ears were unceremoniously greeted with the musical threats of the time… some of the greatest hits to listen to were, If I Have To Come Back There, sung by the driver, or Just You Wait Til We Get Home, played by the assistant driver.

What were we to do for entertainment, as well as for our survival? After we tired of picking on each other, as no parent ever stopped the car for the child who cried, Mom, he won’t stop poking me… we looked for games that kept our attentions. We couldn’t play the “That’s who you’re gonna marry”, as we were not stuck in the parking lot of a grocery store, while our parents sought peaceful shelter within the local food mart! When the car is careening down the highway, kids had to get creative!

There were three games we could play for some much needed automobile on-board entertainment…

  1. I’m Going on a Picnic! In this game, since we didn’t have those snacks and drinks, one would call out an item they would take to eat if they could. There was a catch, however, as the next kid had to figure out why that item was chosen, and add an item that matched. It might be the color of the food, or perhaps its shape, flavor or the way it was prepared and packaged. The goal was to figure out the common denominator and add to the picnic.
  2. I Spy With My Little Eye! One child would select something within sight of the car, and then give clues to the others, as to what they were looking at. One could ask about size, color, shape or use… things like that, until someone figured it out.
  3. Punch Bug! This game was usually toward the end of the car ride, as by now we really didn’t like each other very much, there was nothing else to do, and it was a free chance to hit each other. This was a savored game and we saved up all our personal traveling grievances for the opportune DOUBLE PUNCH BUG attack!

So, here ya have it folks… If I were riding in an automobile, my opening sentence would most likely be “Yellow Cloth Top PUNCH BUG!” I’m very talented in using my middle knuckle when I tag your thigh, as it leaves the perfect little round bruise for later.

Yes, I am aware of what the prompt asked us today, but as this is the second attempt at sticking their nose into my business, I chose to write my response the way I wished. If they are so interested in my Autobiography, they can buy the book when it’s released and read the answer there… just sayin.

Here, have a cookie…

Monday Messages…

Wiwohka7 Comments

You know that feeling you get when stepping off of a moving object? That feeling of unsteadiness, while your brain tries to stop things from moving, so that you can stand upright. Or, maybe you’ve played that crazy game, where you spin yourself around and then try to run a sack race, or something of that nature.

Some folks feel dizzy, while others may feel a bit queasy. I have decided to label this feeling as being discombobulated. I am striving to become a Word Smith, you know.

While it is a rather big word, sometimes those other words just don’t do justice to the depth and meaning of what you’re experiencing. Being that I am quite small, and I also feel both dizzy and queasy on this ride, little words just don’t feel as fitting as discombobulated. Why is that?

Well, let’s ask at Mr. McGoogle about our word of the week…

AI Overview

Discombobulated is an informal American English adjective meaning completely confused, frustrated, upset, or disorganized. It describes a state of being thrown off-kilter, bewildered, or severely disoriented. The term originated in the early 19th century as a playful, nonsensical variant of words like “discompose”. 

Key details about “discombobulated”:

  • Pronunciation: Dis-com-bob-u-lay-ted (stress on “bob”).
  • Synonyms: Disconcerted, muddled, flustered, perturbed, befuddled, agitate.
  • Usage Examples: “I felt totally discombobulated after the long flight”; “The speaker was discombobulated by the hecklers”.
  • Context: It is often used to describe a, mental state of confusion or a situation that is in disarray.

I suppose that one wouldn’t use this word as a descriptor, if they actually enjoyed being spun around in circles, clinging to anything that might keep them from being catapulted off the ride. Ummmmm…. duh! I’m an ant! If I get tossed off the ride, things get pretty painful, if you know what I mean. The only successful flight I’ve ever taken was on that floating Dandelion, remember?

My next thought, or question, if you will, is to wonder what-if about those times where the ride doesn’t make you feel queasy. What do we call those times where the dizziness and tummy flip-flops bring forth excitement, happiness, and joy? Let’s ask…

AI Overview

Discombobulated means to be confused, frustrated, or upset. It describes a state of being unsettled, scattered, or not fully coherent. Its opposites include terms that signify being calm, organized, and focused, such as composed, organized, calm, clearheaded, or collected. 

Top Antonyms (Opposites):

  • Composed/Calm/Collected: Remaining steady and unruffled.
  • Organized/Systematic: Having things in order, as opposed to scattered.
  • Clearheaded/Focused: Able to think clearly.
  • Oriented: Knowing where you are and what is happening.
  • Level-headed: Being in control and rational. 

Note: While “combobulate” is sometimes used humorously, it is not considered a formal, standard English word.

Well, that’s rude!

The English language has rules, exceptions, and uses for making valid counter words for things like Famous, and Infamous, remember?! And now they say that combobulate can’t be used as an actual counter word… rubish!

I, Lilly, the flying journalist, shall now dub our positive counter word to be Probobulated!

Wiwohka Overview

Probobulated – means to be happily surrendered, freely un-frustrated, and miles away from agitated. The word signifies composure, organization, calmness, clear-headedness, and/or being collected. It describes a state of being moldable, softened, and full of faith. It’s opposites include terms that signify confusion, frustration, or being upset.

I wonder how hard it would be to convince Merriam-Webster to accept my new word? Perhaps if a few of you suggested it, as well as myself, we might just enact some future changes for the betterment of all mankind.

Why not?

It could happen, you know. We just need to science it out, first.

Hungry eyes…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Who are your favorite people to be around?
View all responses

At this present moment, my most favorite person to be around is my newest granddaughter, but I’m being partial, I realize.

Truthfully, though, I wouldn’t say that I necessarily have names of people on a list that I’d prefer to be around. I generally love to be around anyone desiring fellowship, needing encouragement, or especially those in need of prayer.

Society currently seems to be buried in their smart phones, completely oblivious to everyone and every thing around them. Nobody holds a door open, or even acknowledges when someone holds it for them. And, there’s little to no eye contact. Get in, get what you need, and get out! Don’t make any sudden movements, or hold eye contact for any length of time, with anyone!

I think the problem stems from many differing sources, and I’ve not the time nor energy to spell them all out. What I do know is that there are indeed those still out there, somewhere, in dire need of love, tenderness, forgiveness, human touch, and guidance.

If you’ve not noticed any hungry eyes near you, then maybe you’ve stopped looking.

I realize how much easier it would be to turn to familiar, and safe favorite people, but perhaps we’ve been called to do much more. What if that’s where the problem lies, deep in the heart of man. Our natural bent is toward self… self-preservation, self-esteem, self-love, and self, self, self! I’m not even off the hook, here.

Having a generous heart is taught, contrary to what some may believe. No one is born with a benevolent heart, even if I think my SugarPlum is perfect in every way! She’ll need to be shown, hopefully, by the village of family that surrounds her on every side.

Perhaps, if more of those villages start popping up, society might have a chance at becoming better than we are, thus far. Just sayin.

Don’t forget your cookie…

(2024)Things of the Past…

Wiwohka3 Comments

As a girl of only eleven, I’d already discovered the item I was most fond of… my survival, or my physical life, if I’m to label it as an actual thing. No, it’s probably not what one might call an item, but sure felt like it. 

Daily writing prompt
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
View all responses

Sometimes, life has a way of getting reduced into nothing more than a thing… an item to be played with, bartered, or thrown out when it’s usefulness has been expended.

For some souls, it can take an entire lifetime to figure this out. They don’t feel the harsh bite of reality pop up, for a good long while. Who knows, maybe everyone begins to take notice of being less valuable to society, once the body begins to slow, and they lose the ability to carry on at the pace they once held.

Then there’s souls like mine. We discovered, early on, how little value we held, how we weren’t valuable enough protect, to care about… never worthy enough to be saved! This was my dark alleyway of existence, wandering through the night until I found a place to sleep… doing whatever I had to do to secure food, warmth, and sleep… never safety… just sleep! This life was not much but it was mine, and I valued it above everything else!

I’m 55 now and nearing the age when most are preparing for retirement and their golden years… not this runaway!

I strive to prepare and strengthen myself for something bigger, better and still yet to come.

 It has taken some considerably long years to get my life to this moment, and I couldn’t have done it without God. And, I didn’t care for the item I was so attached to, nor cherish it, as I did when I was a child. None the less, I’m grateful to say that it’s still in tact, for the most part.

If you’ve any curiosity about what has become of the item I was so attached to as a youth, you need only read the letters I have written over the years, here on WordPress. 

As this site is really all I have to show for explaining things, it will have to suffice as my best answer! 

I don’t know about all you, but I need a cookie…

From the depths…

Wiwohka24 Comments

I sat for a good bit this morning, trying to find the words to enter back into the stream of literary traffic that is WordPress… and it’s been hard, to say the least.

If I could sum up the last several months in only a few words, it’d be something like, “alrighty then, wasn’t that a ride!”

I could tell you the details about my health journey, and perhaps in time I may, but now is not the time… maybe later.

On the upside, we’ve a new granddaughter that has to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever lain eyes upon…

From the tip of her tiny toes, all the way to her silky soft hair…

… our Sugarplum was the most wonderful of Christmas package one could ever imagine! While I would love to show you a cascade of new baby pictures, I wish to respect my daughter’s privacy, so for the most part I’ll be using the Avatar created for Maisie unless Mamma gives me approved pic’s for public viewing…

Please forgive any future crazy writing angles, as I’m still trying to right my health situation. When you are physically compromised, it bleeds over into your emotions, as well.

In a tiny nutshell, doctors have failed to offer anything other than more drugs, so we’ve been forced to step back from modern medicine and seek a different route. Basically, we’re DIYing it. I don’t know what’s to come, but God does, so I’m leaving it in His mighty hands.

While God watches over me, I’ve been tasked to continue my writing. I want to publish my works, and I want to be here, with you… my family.

So, with that being said, let’s just get back to it, the writing that is…

Let’s all celebrate and have a party… cause the Punctuation Fairy has returned!!!

(2023) What She Thought She Saw…

Wiwohka1 Comment

     The whole day had quite simply sucked! 

After the grocery shopping debacle that morning, her good mood had soured and gained a downward run that she knew would not improve.  Her shopping cart wheel had given out in just the right spot coming off of the curb in front of the store letting everything in it simply fly, full force, into a passing car in the parking lot. 

After completely re-shopping, off of her crumpled receipt that had a piece of old chewing gum in it, she hurried home in an attempt to unload before her youngest child awoke from a very brief fake nap.  

Driving home, the officer did not appreciate the narrative she reeled off as her excuse, giving her a speeding ticket anyway. 

Once home, groceries unpacked and children playing, she tried to find solace in a piece of chocolate cake that she had reserved on top of the microwave the night before, only to discover that the cat had peed on the front of the microwave. And yes, she had already eaten the cake when she discovered this bit of information. It had been one of those days! 

When she walked into the room to check on her children as they played, she was certain that she heard her 5-year-old say to her Barbie doll, “You #@*ch!”

In shocked horror, the stressed out young mother began to let loose with a scolding lecture regarding language.  Looking up from the dollhouse in confusion, her daughter asked, “Mommy, if I can’t call this a bench, then what am I supposed to call it?” 

Perspective!

     I so want to go back to having the perspective and imagination of a child, without all the grown-up things that derail the good stuff. 

That’s a perfect world, which this is not, but the beauty of the human soul is that it can learn, recover, forgive, and grow. 

I am growing again!