Before I answered this mornings prompt, I wanted to be sure that I had a proper understanding of what was being asked. So, I looked up the definition of principle, just to be sure!
1. a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.”the basic principles of Christianity” h Similar:truthpropositionconceptideatheorypostulateassumptionbasisfundamentalessenceessentialphilosophy
a rule or belief governing one’s personal behavior.”struggling to be true to their own principles” . Similar: morals morality moral standards moral values ethics code of ethics beliefs credo ideals standards integrity uprightness high-mindedness righteousness virtue probity rectitude sense of honor honor decency conscience sense of duty scruples
a general scientific theorem or law that has numerous special applications across a wide field.
In honesty, all that’s needed to fully answer the question now is a bible verse that you may be familiar with…
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 xThe second is this: y‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment zgreater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
After reading this verse, all you need to do is then re-read that list of similar words for principle. The ones from the dictionary do a fair job of describing the many ways to act, and live out all those principles that should define our lives! Just sayin…
I suppose one might say, the last two years have been like walking through a darkened forest. And, often times, it felt like there was little or no light to see which way to go.
Never in my life did I think I’d find myself living in abject poverty, but never the less, here is where we are! Sure, I could start throwing out excuses, cast blame in multiple directions, and cry out how unfair my lot in life is. Nah… I’m too tired, and bellyaching about how life is hard, does nothing more than make my stomach hurt. And, just now, my stomach isn’t feeling good in the slightest.
I’ve shared some of the journey with you, here on WordPress, but most I’ve kept back in an attempt to spare you from watching the full trainwreck. I know that I probably have every right to cry Foul Ball, No Fair, and/or possibly even break out into song that “Everybody hates me, nobody likes me, I think I’ll eat some worms”. Truth is… life is hard! Moreso for some than for others. If you wish for a better answer, you go ask God, cause I don’t know everything. I will continue on through the darkness… because, I trust in One much greater than I, and where He leads, I will obediently follow!
I used to be afraid of the dark, but no longer…
Consider for a moment what it’s like to be in utter, blinding darkness. There you are, cold, frightened and lost; stumbling over unseen obstacles, and scraping your elbows on walls you bumped into… but then you realize that your eyes are beginning to adjust, allowing you to glimpse shadows here or there. You can now notice even the tiniest of reflections, like the water glistening off the rocks. If it’s so dark, how can you see reflections of anything?
Light is such a powerful thing, isn’t it? It can reach some of the darkest places you could imagine, from the tiniest of openings. Once it get’s in, the light simply bounces itself off of anything reflective, casting it’s warmth out into the shadows. As long as it has the surfaces it needs, light can hold it’s strength and reach great distances.
We all have the potential to carry the light forward into the darkness, with just as much strength and power from whence it came… if our heart has enough reflective surfaces for the light reach.
When I mentioned that I was not afraid of the dark anymore, it’s because I carry an eternal light within. I was gifted this light on the day of my spiritual rebirth… when I gave my life to God. It has never departed, nor will it, because that is the life of a believer.
Before you start thinking I’m claiming to have arrived at perfect enlightenment, standing on the front lines of the spiritual battlefield, and fully muscled up for said spiritual military maneuvers… let me put my feet back down on the ground and tell it like it really is, much of the time.
Many times, God tells me to do, or not do a thing, without any helpful information or back up team of Godly cheerleaders, singing my praises. Most of my service to God is done in the quiet, in the shadows, and yes, while going through the darkness… and, it’s not for the faint of heart, ladies and gentlemen!
The bible repeatedly tells us that we will have troubles in this world, on behalf of Christ, and that we should count it all Joy! When going through the darkness, there are, and will be, many times that we will not be feeling joy at all, but it’s never permanent… and God truly will ONLY give us what we are capable of handling, with His help!
I am not expected to carry the weight of the world’s darkness upon my shoulders, and for this I am eternally grateful. My only job is to rest in His arms and allow God to carry me through it, which is all I’m able to do, currently. External struggle and hardship, I’m well trained for surviving… I’ve been doing it since birth!
The fallout from said external punches, stabs, and full on high speed collisions from this world, along with the consequences of the life I lived, have finally brought me to one of the darkest and most difficult struggles I’ve ever battled… my own self, or my physical body. All the years of holding in my own scars, hurt, sorrows, and anger at God and everyone else, has cost me greatly.
As most of you already know, we were finally given sheltered housing back in March of this year, after nearly a full year of homelessness, and the year before that living without a toilet or running water. By the grace of God, housing finally came through, and for the moment… I say moment… we are safely deposited in a modest apartment. Many don’t even have that! Shortly after moving into this facility, the city decided to stop paying for many of their obligations. The rent here hasn’t been paid since May, I think. My husband is in school finishing a degree that is only being paid for if we make 0$, so there’s that. Our expedition that held over $7000.00 in tools was stolen, then our Edge was towed because this facility does not provide free parking. With no money to claim it, that vehicle was also lost. We lost both storage units for lack of funds, so everything is now gone, including the RV and all that was inside…. and f.y.i., this woman of God was still keeping all those scars, hurt, sorrows, anger at injustice, and complete isolation locked tightly inside.
Finally, the dam broke, as they say. After all those years of carrying, stuffing, covering over, and downplaying all of my own ugly baggage… my body has had enough!
When we were homeless, I actually gained over 30lbs, believe it or not! Days, nights, weeks, and months of eating out of bags and microwaves, plus sleeping in places I’d rather not talk about, did a fantastic job of destroying all the hard work I’d put in walking on my trails. I thought I could get myself back on track once we moved into our apartment, but beings that we’re nowhere near out of the woods, the stress and strain continued to break down my emotional defenses.
First came the nausea, heartburn, and other tummy troubles, which I attributed to my IBS. But then I began struggling to keep food down, and so I stopped eating. Was I trying to lose weight… no. But, did it bother me that I was quickly returning to my former weight, by not eating? Not really. It actually felt a little better to have an empty stomach, and the pain wasn’t as bad for a time.
Finally, I sought a doctor’s help back in late June. By July, they’d done a CAT scan, which reflected what they said was a minimal hernia, and nothing to worry about. Then, when I said I was getting worse, they did both an Endoscopy, as well as a Colonoscopy. Nope, nothing really wrong with you Mrs. Swartz, aside from your IBS. Let us know if you need more meds. Then the insurance decided they didn’t want to pay for part of my meds, so there went those antacid pills that were keeping me from constantly throwing up in my mouth… sorry, that was a bit graphic.
I have had to quite coffee, chocolate, gluten, dairy, and nearly everything else aside from oatmeal, chicken breast, peanuts, and white rice. I only eat about two to three bites of those fun gluten free bakes I’ve been doing… I’m too frightened to eat!
The scale in the doctor’s office said 171 back in July, when I had those tests. While I don’t own a scale, I can safely assume that I’ve dropped well below my 147 walking weight.
After a desperate phone call to my GI doctor’s nurse, where upon I had a complete, and very justified meltdown to a rather moody medical nurse, they offered to schedule me for an appointment in DECEMBER! Uh, at that point, the nurse asked if she could talk to me through email… gee, I wonder why?
Finally, they scheduled me for an Esophogram:
(Google) An esophogram, also known as a barium swallow, is an X-ray procedure that examines the esophagus using a contrast liquid, typically barium, to visualize the movement of food from the mouth to the stomach. This test helps diagnose conditions like blockages, hiatal hernias, inflammation, and swallowing disorders by showing how well the esophagus functions and the direction of food during swallowing. The procedure is painless, takes about 15 to 30 minutes, and patients can typically resume their normal activities and diet immediately after.
Guess what they found?
A hernia…
That minimal thing that they said was nothing…
Ya, that hernia!
It’s actually called a Sliding Hiadal Hernia, and it sits right at the bottom of my esophagus. When I swallow food, the opening at the base of my esophagus stays open and lets food and liquid come right back up. Add this to my IBS, my stress, and my weakened physical state… I’m slowly starving to death… and I seem to be the only one fairly alarmed, here!
Well, not the only one. My GI messaged me less than two hours after the test, offering to refer me to a surgeon. I think both he and I agree that I’m not a normal case, which can often be managed by what? Weight loss, change of diet, change of lifestyle, and or those silly pump-inhibitors that my insurance company seem to dislike paying for hasn’t done me any favors, thus far.
Surgery seems to be the answer, as it will most likely alleviate most, if not, all those different medications, currently not helping me get better.
Now, we wait! I am resting beneath my Father, as to the speed and outcome of things. I do not fear death, nor the darkness, because though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death… God walks with me through it, and if I should falter, He will not!
If you are walking through darkness, or lost in it, hold on… and look for the light I am carrying… perhaps, we might walk along together, side by side, for a bit…
I was born angry, raised on the streets, and have plenty of scars to prove it. But, the most tell-tale sign of my origins… is my mouth!
It didn’t help that I spent a good five years riding in a Semi truck with my husband, soakin up the lingo from other truckers, while we sat waiting to load or unload.
They employed such colorful ways to express one’s immediate feelings, re-tell another truckers incredibly embellished stories, or build up their own tales of fiction. It was like taking a crash course at the Potty Mouth Institute!
I got so good at makin a man blush that it went to my head, and since there weren’t any kids around, I just started letting my own brand of foul words fly free. I didn’t really think I had a problem, but my own husband started giving me raised eyebrow looks. He actually started cutting back on his own bad language because of me, I think.
Then, about two years ago I just got sick of listening to my own vile utterances, so I decided to stop.
Honestly, I can say that it was one of, if not the most difficult goals I’ve ever set for myself. It ranks right up there with quitting a 40 year old smoking habit, though God carried me through that one. For this reason, I can’t technically say that the smoking was the most difficult goal.
Looking back now, I see a number of things that lost their charm, once God began reshaping and remolding my life to match His purposes. The more time spent in scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship with my heavenly Father, the less I struggled with my language. Over time, foul words began to bother me more. As I listened to other people use profanity, whether on television, in public, or on the gaming chat channels, I was convicted by my own discomfort at listening to others…. I sounded just the same when I swore!
I realize that words are just words, but for myself, I feel that it grieves my Holy Spirit. And, not just that… it could cause offense to another person! That was the part that sealed the deal, for me. There would be no more fence-walking on this one… foul words found the door, and I made sure to let the door hit them as they went out.
How bout them cookies…
Ok, so maybe the cookies are a bit large, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t taste good… well, maybe don’t eat the ones that landed on the road, as they’ve become soggy and gross.
Flowers come in every color, shape, and size that one can imagine… but, when the weather changes they die, leaving little or no trace of their presence.
The bible speaks on more than one occasion about how, if God takes such care in their details, how much more precious we are to Him. I mean, after all, we are all made in the image of God, by God, and for God’s pleasure.
If God didn’t love us so much, why would the bible say that He is a jealous God, wanting nothing more than for us to believe in Him, follow Him, love Him, and walk in paths of His righteousness?
All those glorious flowers that spring up in such breathtaking arrangements, wilt and die off without a thought to Him that gave them life… and yet, in each new season, God brings them back again, with such loving faithfulness.
Whenever my eyes come to rest upon a delicate and lightly scented flower, it is a constant reminder of how much my Lord values me… me! Why?
I have sinned many times…
Many times have I been sinned against…
Sometimes, forgiveness between humans is there and sometimes it is not…
My childhood was torn from me, violently… I have to lay that down on the alter, each and every day!
I tore my three children’s lives apart, when I divorced their father… I have to lay that down on the alter, each and every day!
Why on earth does He tell me I’m forgiven, loved, and of use to Him… each and every day? And, He does this faithfully, for me… little ole me… the one that I just told you about. The woman who was abused as a child, became a runaway, became a Christian, became a wife and mother… only to become an adulteress! I single handedly destroyed my daughters lives, and I shall bear it all the way to the gates of heaven. Why does He want me?
Why? Because God chose me before the beginning of the world… because He knew what was to come… because He knew I would be abused, knew that I would run, knew the very day I would commit my life to Him, knew of my marriage, children, several affairs, divorce … God knew that I would be an adulteress… He knew!
And, here I sit typing to you this morning, still breathing, still getting up and dusting myself off again, and going back to the one place that answers that why I was just asking… Scripture! God tells me why He chose me, on each and every page that I read… it’s all there!
One just has to look. Reading is fundamental, as they say.
(I’ve added the photo, but the content is in it’s original form)
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24
If I woke one morning to find myself standing at the finish line of a race, with a trophy in my hand and a bunch of people cheering, I would be quite confused. I would be wondering why it was such a big deal and would feel kind of funny standing there with some silly little trinket in my hand. The blood, sweat, and tears that it takes to run that race are what makes the finish line so valuable, and what gives that trophy such importance.
There are so many times where I think I have it figured out and then things go in a completely different direction. It reminds me that He is God and I am not. I always look back from the other side of things and see so clearly how things went the way they did and why. I think, how did I not see that, because it is so obvious. I am realizing that I do not have nearly the patience and faith that I think I do. There is so much less fear and frustration when I do not seek beyond one day at a time. Tomorrow is never certain so why waste my time worrying over what is not here yet. If I focus on what I choose to do, say, and feel in today, I am much more content and I see more of what He wants of me.
The journey is where we find value, making us who we are. I think I want to look to my finish line and see my Heavenly Father waiting for me with love, hope, and open arms; then I can strive everyday to find joy in my journey and finish well!
Happy Monday, everyone! It’s me, Lilly! Now that we’re all home from our summertime travels, I’ve started some online courses to teach me how a true journalist studies and writes. I want to be writer, you see, just like you. If I’m to become a better colonist, I mean columnist, I have to start somewhere. So Mee-maw says I can do my practicing here, on Mondays… well, at least for now.
Thankfully, I love to read, because there’s a great big world of words out there to learn. I do alright for the most part, but sometimes, it gets quite confusing for such a tiny brain. But I’ve been told that it’s not my size that counts, but how well I use my brain. I’m learning the art of reading, one page at a time.
Let me tell you about the morning I’ve had, thus far, in my reading and writing adventures…
Have you ever been reading a thing, and suddenly notice that a particular word you’ve read seems like it might be spelled wrong? You read it once more, and then again. You keep going back to look at the word, because you’re certain they meant something different.
So, what do we do when this occurs? Any reader worth their salt would never presume to know more than the original author. That’s bad form, I think. The right thing to do when encountering a wordage dilemma, is to grab a dictionary, encyclopedia, or thesaurus, if necessary.
Sometime, during this last weekend, I came across the word endued while reading scripture. My brain began arguing that the word should have been embued, imbued, or even endured. Strange, I know. It was like giving a mouse a cookie, that word! Or an ant…
Off to Google, I went, but that was more of a rabbit hole than I was prepared for. Not only couldn’t I find the passage I’d just read it from, but when I asked the computer where to find that word in scripture, it never gave me any verses that were near the place I’d been reading.
Anyways, I ended up spending nearly an hour this morning, just comparing spellings, translations, and the definitions that were attached to them, just so that I could understand which meant what!
Imbue means to saturate, instill, or inspire something with a quality, emotion, or belief, like a sponge soaking up water. Endue (or endued) means to provide or endow someone with a quality or ability, like a person being endowed with rights. Embue is an obsolete and incorrect form of imbue and should not be used.
Here’s a breakdown of each word:
Imbue
Meaning: To deeply affect or permeate something, often with an emotion, quality, or color, as if soaking it throughout.
Origin: From the Latin imbuere, meaning “to dye, wet, or moisten”. Examples:
“A feeling of optimism imbues her works”.
“The new leader was imbued with the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi”.
Endue (and Endued)
Meaning: To give qualities or abilities to someone or something. The past participle, endued, means to have been provided with these qualities.
Origin: Influenced by the Latin induere, meaning “to put on”.
Examples:
“The workers were endued with the spirit of camaraderie”.
“They were endued with the rights of a citizen”.
Embue
Meaning: An obsolete form of imbue.
Usage: This word is no longer in common use and should be avoided. Stick to the modern form, imbue.
So, what have I hopefully learned, here?
Well, aside from the cheeky response about not using the spelling embue, I do think I may have learned the difference between endue and imbue. I believe that one means the feeling, and the other means the actual quality, itself. Now, I said that I believe it to mean this, but the jury is still out. If I were you, I wouldn’t put all your money on me.
Besides, I sometimes feel like those literary rabbit holes are more trouble than their words… I mean worth!
Thought #1 – Why did we ever stop writing letters to one another?
Thought #2 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, during the winter months, families regularly met to read and share stories from when they were young?
Thought #3 – If a bag of chocolate chips spill all over the kitchen floor, but there’s nobody in the room, does it make a sound? I know my kids could hear a candy bar wrapper being opened from the neighbor’s house across the street.
Thought #4 – I hope it doesn’t rain on Saturday. At least, not until after my daughter’s baby shower.
Thought #5 – Whatever happened to that Samaritan woman, after Christ left her village? I wonder how differently her life was, after the fact?
Thought #6 – Then there’s Simon of Cyrene, the man forced to carry Jesus cross. What must his life have become, after encountering the Son of God on the day of his crucifixion?
Thought #7 – I miss watching Little House on the Prairie!
Thought #8 – Well that last thought did it! Now I’m thinking how much I miss shows like Grizzly Adams, Land of the Lost, J.P. Patches, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Leave it to Beaver, Fantasia, the early Sesame Street episodes, The Electric Company, and so many others that filled my childhood with imagination… aaaaahhhhhhhh, the good ole days of television.
Thought #9 – If I were traveling for years, on foot, in the desert, and with nearly a million other tired, frightened, and grumpy fellow walkers… how long would it take before I, myself, began to whine about eating only manna and quail?
Thought #10 – Why can’t my cup of Peppermint tea stay hot longer than 10 minutes?
Thought #11 – If I were given a bag that could only hold 10 items for survival, just before being dumped in the middle of nowhere, what would I choose… and could I survive? When I say nowhere, I mean no cell service, no electricity, and no other people. Ewwww!
Thought #12 – How old is too old for one to skinny dip?
Thought #13 – Why is it that I can sing to the skies when I’m in a church, or alone on a walking path, but the thought of doing it in front of a Karaoke machine fills me with dread? There’s other people in both places, so what’s the difference?
Thought #14 – I used to wish that God would make me smell like cookies, whenever children passed by, but I also really love the smell of Cotton Candy, so now I’m not so sure which I like better.
Thought #15 –
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Psalm 119:105
To this day, everytime I remember back on this show, I can remember the lyrics to the insurance add that ran during the commercials… Mutual of Omaha… people… you can count on when the goings tough…
I would spend every Sunday evening watching this show, as it played right before the Wonderful World of Disney. My parents would finish watching their line up of the Lawrence Welk show, and Hee Haw… finally relinquishing the entertainment box to the small humans. Back in the day, most families only had one television in the house.
Marlin Perkins was such a wildlife superhero to this little girl! I wanted to grow up to be a National Geographic journalist. I would spend most of my free time pretending I was out on that African safari, making friends with the baby Giraffes I saw onscreen…
Or I pretended to find wild baby Cheetah cubs, carrying my poor cat around in a blanket in the middle of summer… til he got hot and escaped my clutches…
Thought #1 – It’s finally happened! Last night, I actually said out loud that I thought a vegan donut sounded good!
Thought #2 – If I’m eating oatmeal with oat milk, do I refer to it as oatmeal with milk, or Oat Oatmeal?
Thought #3 – How many puppies can I fit in a tiny home? Maybe some are built with a puppy pullout. Hey! I thought of it first, here! Maybe I should go on Shark Tank!
Thought #4 – Wouldn’t it be funny to see your local metro bus with flashy lights, loud music, and those suspension lifter’s on the tires? The kind they put on souped up tiny lawnmower cars? I know that we’ve all seen em bouncing through the intersection on a Friday night. If metro tried to do that, the passengers would all be car sick!
Thought #5 – I know babies only see in black and white, at first. But what about their dreams? If I read a story to my unborn granddaughter, will she dream in color?
Thought #6 – I want raisons in my oatmeal, today. Do I want them bad enough to get dressed and walk down to the store and back?
Thought #7 – That’s twice that I’ve ended up on a thought about oatmeal. It’s crazy how much of our brain is always focused on foods!
Thought #8 – My daughter is getting married tomorrow. I wasn’t invited.
Thought #9 – Forgiveness is eternal, but consequences… those are like ripples in a pond. They must play out until they reach the sandy shore’s of one’s life. I shall wear my choices with as much grace as I can. May God be with her and our son-in-law, as they begin their journey as one! I pray that God extend his umbrella of coverage over them and our soon to be born Sugar Plum… not my will, but thy will be done, father! Amen
Thought #10 – Man! I just realized that if I feel depressed… I can’t even binge eat Ice cream, anymore! Not Fair!
Thought #11 – I want to try dry brush painting, again.
Thought #12 – If I ever get a puppy again, I’m gonna take my new baby to one of those groomers that will color and cut the dog’s fur to look like Tigger, from Winnie The Pooh!
Thought #13 – Learning to forgive is a really good way to learn about being unforgiven by another. Walk a mile takes on a whole new meaning, when it comes to the act of forgiveness.
Thought #14 – God wants me… just the way I am, with all my hurts, scars, sins, mistakes, broken dreams, and bridges on fire!
Thought #15 – By the time I get to thought #15, my heart, mind, and spirit have all met upon shores of peace, resting beneath one so much greater than myself! He is the author of my faith, the healer of my heart, and the One who calls me His own! By the grace of God, I shall rise from the ashes of my own failures to walk beneath my king all the way Home, hand in hand!
Thought #1 – If we don’t actually use all of our brain, what does it do all day long?
Thought #2 – Whose idea was it to create the penny, anyway? All we ever do is lose them under seat cushions, or hide them in our car consoles with all the lint, hair, and sticky candy wrappers.
Thought #3 – I want to live in one of those Tiny Homes, with lots of little nooks and recessed windows for growing plants.
Thought #4 – I wonder what my soon-to-arrive grand daughter will look like?
Thought #5 – Wouldn’t things be different if all conflict resolution had to be done while everybody lays with their head on each others stomachs, like we did as kids? All it takes is one tiny giggle, and then the peace talks can begin!
Thought #6 – What if politicians had to do their whole campaign in Pig Latin?
Thought #7 – If the heart is simply an organ used for pumping blood, why does it feel physical pain from emotional hurt? Or, why does the heart flutter and skip all over the place, from just one kiss?
Thought #8 – If love is supposed to be free, why does it cost so much?
Thought #9 – If I laugh at my own jokes, do I still need an audience?
Thought #10 – Lack of gluten and lactose has to be the cause of most wars in one way or another, I think.
Thought #11 – I have to come up with 4 more thoughts, without being irritable.
Thought #12 – My oatmeal won’t make itself, will it? I didn’t think so.
Thought #13 – The pumpkin fields are bursting with color, right now. While they’ve a ways yet to go, their bright orange color can already be seen from the highway.
Thought #14 – I can’t believe that Creed is nearly done with his degree! Only one class left, I think.
Thought #15 – I’m so glad that God captures all of our tears, only to replace them with oceans of His love!
Journey With Me! 