(Archive 2023)Tales from a Parking Lot…

Photo by Yura Forrat on Pexels.com

Daily writing prompt
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

The woman behind the counter smiled gently at me, as she cleaned her ear piercing tools. My heart was in my throat, it seemed. Getting my ears pierced was the most grown up thing I had ever done by my own choice.

My Nana had bought me a pair of earrings in the shape of bright red apples, but this time the jewelry wasn’t clip on… they were the real thing in the eyes of a 6 year old. My mother told me that I could get my ears done if I chose on my own… no hand holding or cajoling would be forthcoming.

I lay in bed awake the entire night before we embarked on this grown up lady stuff I wanted to take part in. I was terrified, of what I am not sure… but if they could poke me with a vaccination needle whenever they felt like it, and trade me a stupid sucker for my time, then I must be grown up enough to take the needle for a pair of gloriously beautiful red apple earrings. My mind was made up on the matter, so I just lay there and waited for the sun to come up.

I was so terrified of backing down and not being able to wear my new gift… it was in truth, the only thing that kept me on that swinging stool, there in that Bon Marche Department Store. I tucked my feet behind the bar beneath the seat, grabbed the sides of the stool with both hands in a military vice grip and tried to find my happy place.

I apparently had nothing to worry about, because it was over before it had begun! That fast… bang bang… All Done! They were kind enough to do both ears at the same moment, probably in case I backed out half way through the deal. I was so happy and proud of myself that I burst into tears, making the grown ups think I was in pain or shock. Not so!

I WAS A LADY!

So now I will explain the hilarious fall out from my Grown Up Anxiety Filled Sleepless Night… the reality of how most adults handle stress.

As exhausted as I was from no sleep and worry, over my piercing adventure, I never had a moment to catch some zzzzzz’s until that night after we got home. I was so tired that I could barely touch my dinner, and vaguely remember my mom walking me down the hallway to my bedroom……..

…. The rain fell steadily in the darkness, only illuminated by the distant street lamps, flickering occasionally. I was sitting in the passenger seat of our station wagon, while my parents were in a Parent/Teacher Conference up the street. As I waited for them to return, I saw movement not too far down the block, barely visible through the sheets of rain falling across the hood of the car.

I heard her before I saw her… this scary Witch that looked suspiciously like the lady off of the Wizard of Oz, if I am being completely honest. I could hear her laughing wickedly as she slowly materialized out of the darkness. Yup! It had to be that horrible woman who took Toto away from Dorothy. Don’t judge… I have a bucket list of different childhood memories that are triggered by different movies I had in my tiny mind.

Anyway, as the witch steadily approached my car, I frantically checked all the door locks and glanced up at the entrance of the School, hoping I would see my parents walking down the steps toward our car. Nope! As Jack Sparrow says, I was “all by me onesies”!

I crawled down under the dash where I could be hidden from view for the most part, except my feet could still be seen from the passenger door. I heard her approach the car, walk all the way around it dragging her super long witchy fingernails across the metal doors… witches always have super long curvy red nails if you needed a visual.

Then the witch stopped directly in front of the passenger side door where I was crouched down on the floor. All I could see was the tip of her hat, but I could hear what she was doing… she was picking the lock on my door with those awful fingernails. I watched in horror as the little metal door lock popped!

The next thing I knew, I was strapped onto a torture table, in the parking lot underneath the Sprouse Ritz Department Store, and that witch began to tickle me with those long fingernails…

It was torture! I began to laugh and could not stop! I fought to get away, but was strapped down so there was no escape for me… no way out! Except to wake up, but I had been so tired from the night before that it was like crawling through thick Jello to do anything. Never fear though, laughter is here… I laughed so hard that I rolled myself out of the top of our bunkbed and landed with a thump on the floor below. That did the trick!

Isn’t it funny the way we handle stress… often bottling our fears, stuffing them down and hiding them away from judging eyes. I realize that I was just a child and that the dream was probably just a way to release the tension I had been holding for several days over a perceived painful event. There was no real danger or trauma involved in ear piercing, but to a child trying to be a grown up, it most assuredly seemed like there might.

My take away from the whole affair was this… I would for sure think long and hard the next time I wanted to be a grown up!

From then to now, I still often find myself thinking long and hard every time I have to do grown up stuff… I know I should be fine with getting tickled all night in a parking lot, but this girl would rather leave the Witch back at Sprouse Reitz…

Wednesday Words…

Eustace now handles all his company’s sound system, which includes announcements, and general inspirational building wide messages.

I just don’t get it! How is it that a camel who follows little of his company’s employee rules, always get’s such special treatment? If I behaved as he does half the time, you know they’d probably fire me! What gives?

I thought for certain that he’d make a fool of himself at the company talent show, and maybe learn a lesson about unforgiveness, or holding grudges. Not!

Every time he walked into a room, you’d hear him grumble about his discontent over their refusal to provide healthy snacks to their employees.

“All for the sake of vegetables” as he put it.

Call me crazy, but it’s as if we’ve fallen into an alternate universe, or something like that…because, apparently Eustace didn’t bomb at all!

In fact, he was a smash hit!

Now, I’m never going to hear the end of it! You know how I know this? Because they now provide a vegetable cart in the break room, that’s why!

M@*$&#%@%…

Daily writing prompt
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

I was born angry, raised on the streets, and have plenty of scars to prove it. But, the most tell-tale sign of my origins… is my mouth!

It didn’t help that I spent a good five years riding in a Semi truck with my husband, soakin up the lingo from other truckers, while we sat waiting to load or unload.

They employed such colorful ways to express one’s immediate feelings, re-tell another truckers incredibly embellished stories, or build up their own tales of fiction. It was like taking a crash course at the Potty Mouth Institute!

I got so good at makin a man blush that it went to my head, and since there weren’t any kids around, I just started letting my own brand of foul words fly free. I didn’t really think I had a problem, but my own husband started giving me raised eyebrow looks. He actually started cutting back on his own bad language because of me, I think.

Then, about two years ago I just got sick of listening to my own vile utterances, so I decided to stop.

Honestly, I can say that it was one of, if not the most difficult goals I’ve ever set for myself. It ranks right up there with quitting a 40 year old smoking habit, though God carried me through that one. For this reason, I can’t technically say that the smoking was the most difficult goal.

Looking back now, I see a number of things that lost their charm, once God began reshaping and remolding my life to match His purposes. The more time spent in scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship with my heavenly Father, the less I struggled with my language. Over time, foul words began to bother me more. As I listened to other people use profanity, whether on television, in public, or on the gaming chat channels, I was convicted by my own discomfort at listening to others…. I sounded just the same when I swore!

I realize that words are just words, but for myself, I feel that it grieves my Holy Spirit. And, not just that… it could cause offense to another person! That was the part that sealed the deal, for me. There would be no more fence-walking on this one… foul words found the door, and I made sure to let the door hit them as they went out.

How bout them cookies…

Ok, so maybe the cookies are a bit large, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t taste good… well, maybe don’t eat the ones that landed on the road, as they’ve become soggy and gross.

My list is too long…

Daily writing prompt
Who are your favorite artists?

I realize that I’ve said this before but WP really should try harder with some of these prompts! I mean, come on…. why can’t they give us a little more direction, than simply saying “artist”? How can I even break my list down into reasonably smaller lists, in order to pick my favorite in that category? See my problem? The struggle is real, my friends!

I have so many lists of my favorite things, I could rival Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music! She was able to sing her favorites into one beautiful song… just one! Are you kidding me?!

Why just last night, I watched the most amazing videos of this young woman who can make complete reenactments of differing scenes from CGI movies, like The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and similar movies. She was so bright, I thought. Her husband was too!

In the same evening, I also watched music videos from past episodes of The Voice… such talented voices, oh my goodness!

I once toured the Bellagio Hotel, down in Vegas. Their entire lobby ceiling was covered with Chihuly Glass. Good lord, that man’s talented!

There’s nothing I enjoy more, than touring different art museums, historical sites, and the like, just to view the differing talents gifted for our enjoyment, and pleasure.

The definition of artist is as follows, according to Google…

An artist is a person who creates art, using skill and imagination in mediums like painting, sculpture, music, or writing. The term also applies to skilled performers, such as actors and musicians, and more broadly to anyone who is exceptionally skilled or expert in a particular area, like a “scam artist”. 

Key aspects of the definition:

  • Creation of Art: The core definition involves producing works of art that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria. 

Skilled Performer: The term can refer to public performers in the performing arts, like a trapeze artist or a jazz artist. 

Exceptional Skill: It describes someone who is very good at something, demonstrating exceptional skill, such as a “strikeout artist” or a “scam artist”. 

Subjectivity: What constitutes art and who can be called an artist is often a subjective matter, with definitions ranging from professional endeavors to passionate hobbies. 

Broad Application: The word can apply to a wide range of artistic disciplines, including visual arts (painting, sculpture, photography), performing arts (music, dance, acting), and other creative fields like storytelling. 

Why did I go to all the trouble of sharing the entire page of information, you might be asking yourselves? Well, to be honest, I got super excited when I saw the last part of the definition… the part about Broad Application… you guys, we’re all in here! We’re all artists, and I have Google for my proof! See? There at the very end, it says “storytelling”. That’s us!

I spend hours each day, visiting all of your different sites, reading your art, and appreciating the gift God has bestowed on so many of you! You guys are absolutely Supercalafragelisticexpialidotious!

And, I’ve got Google to back me up on that!

su·per·ca·li·fra·gil·is·tic·ex·pi·a·li·do·cious

/ˌso͞opərˌkaləˌfrajəˌlistikˌekspēˌaləˈdōSHəs/

adjective: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious; adjective: supercalifragilistic

  1. extraordinarily good; wonderful.

While you let that sink in, I’ve left some cookies to keep you company…

One of those words just doesn’t belong…

Have you ever asked Google for a list of words that sound like other words? Well, I did!

  • Affect and effect, Lose and loose, Assure/ensure/insure, Lie and lay
  • Their vs. There vs. They’re, Accept and except, Advice and advise
  • Then and than, All together and altogether, Desert vs. Dessert, Flaunt vs flout
  • Further and farther, It’s/its, To and “too”, Breath/breathe, Capitol vs capital
  • Stationary and stationery, Who vs. Whom

Honestly, where did they come up with all these different words, anyway?

Now, I know that being an ant and all, I’m supposed to be super smart. But, just like people, it takes me a good bit of time, patience, and a lot of work to read and write.

If I’m to become a famous journalist one day, it won’t be easy… but so worth it! Meemaw says that nothing worth having is ever easy, and the hard work makes for a strong character. Though I don’t really understand why I need big muscles just to read and write, I’ll take her word for it. I mean, she’s been writing for a good bit. And she CAN sail a big pirate ship, all by her onesies… well, almost all by herself. The point is, I think she’s fairly smart so I’ll take her at her word.

Out of all the research I’ve done this morning, guess what word got me? I’ll let you in on a secret… it’s not any of those words I just listed… no no. Let me show you what the answer was to my question to Google about words that sounded like other words…

Words that can be confused with other words, known as confusables or commonly confused words, include homophones (sound alike, different meaning, e.g., “there,” “their,” “they’re”) and words that are similar in spelling or meaning (e.g., “affect” vs. “effect”). Examples include “to/too/two,” “accept/except,” “principal/principle,” “lose/loose,” and “than/then”

Out of the entire answer from Google’s AI, while I was planning on discovering the difference between all those words I showed you, I found myself knocked off the highway by the word confusables!

Why did they go to all the trouble to invent all those difficult words with long and confusing definitions, if they planned to one day start moshing words together just for the sake of it? Confusables? I’m confused, so I guess the word does it’s literary job of turning words into confusables. Now I’m not even sure if it’s sunny out or just sunshiny. Do I simply tell you I’m hungry, or am I free to suggest that I’m feeling apetizable… I mean, let’s just throw out all the rules, why don’t we.

Maybe asking Google for help isn’t always the best way to learn…

NOOOOOOO… The Horror…

Daily writing prompt
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

I was born in the late 60’s, spent my earliest years on a farm with only a single Black and White television that was encased in wood that came from Atilla the Hun’s battlefields… nothin like stubbing your toe on the corner of a 300 lb block! While I understand that my numbers are, in most probability, grossly over exaggerated, are they really… really?

Anyway, my point is that I’ve lived in both non-computer days and the current computer age, so yes, things looked different.

But is that different a good or bad thing… or is it just the times, or progress, if you will.

I remember taking typing classes in high school, and excelled at typing, matter of fact… I got skills! The thing was though, outside of a class at school, or my part-time job at an insurance agency, I never used a typewriter. In fact, I’d wager that most of the other student’s parents didn’t buy them one for personal use at home. Could you imagine having to bring your own typewriter with you, packed up in your backpack, or better yet, stuffed in your school locker? Nowadays, you can wear it on the right lens of your glasses. That’s only if you’ve the pocket change for one… their ridiculously expensive!

While I fully miss talking to others out loud, instead of texting, and writing letters on paper and sending them in the mail, one cannot deny the convenience and speed of using a computer. One single solitary box (in some instances, no bigger than a stick of gum), you can hold numerous differing translation of the bible, a building worth of encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesaurus’, and past news publications from eons past. You can access a plethora of books on fiction, history, science, religion, and more… from your cell phone/smartphone/pda/tablet/kindle/ and of course, those glasses I mentioned.

It’s undeniable that computers have incredible uses in today’s modern society…

But, we all know that too much of a good thing can spoil it’s goodness, in the end.

Checks and balances, moderation, and wisdom, should rule at the end of the day, wouldn’t you agree? Just make sure you don’t forget the old school days and ways, because you never know when we may need to use it again.

Take a moment to think on this…

If all our power grids went offline, indefinitely, how long might it take before the war over toilet paper returns?

Don’t forget your cookie…

Wednesday Words…

Eustace watched Game of Thrones, and now he walks around the house dressed like he’s about to go hunting, whispering “winter is coming”, in the most ominous way… and then quickly adds, “so eat your vegetables!”

He seems to think that it’s hilarious, and has chosen to perform this little ball of apparent comical genius for the company’s Fall Festival Talent Contest.

Ok, maybe it is sort of funny, but I’m not so sure it’ll win him any prizes.

Is this one of those times when you tell your friend their fantastic, because you don’t want to hurt their feelings? You know, like they do for all those contestants auditioning for all those talent shows on television? I don’t want to mention the actual shows, since I think that American Idol and America’s Got Talent have legal teams that block people from using their names for things like this.

Anyway, I don’t know what to do, here. Should I let him do it, or should I try to talk him out of it?

He is a cheeky camel, as you know, so perhaps he really doesn’t care what others think. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be a hit! I mean, he did take an unscheduled summer vacation, and they welcomed him back with open arms. For all we know, he might actually win the contest and become an overnight star!

If you want to know the truth of the matter, I think this whole venture has more to do with retaliation, than any trophy or applause! You see, I think Eustace got his feelings hurt when the company turned down his idea for adding a fresh vegetable cart in the break room. They stated that with the Holidays right around the corner, there wasn’t enough **((time))** to add another venue to the company’s upcoming employee events…

Camel’s are stubborn, you know. I don’t think this is over, do you?

It’s never too late…

Daily writing prompt
What skill would you like to learn?

Well… nobody put a deadline or age limit, here. What’s a girl to do?

I thought about it and I thought about it, and then I came up with a somewhat usable list of possibilities:

A professional body builder, maybe…

Ewww, NO!

Perhaps, I could become an artsy Glass Blower…

Well, I could, ya know.

Hey, what about becoming a ball room dancer?

I love to dance! Mmmmm, better not! My ankles aren’t as strong as they once were.

You know, maybe I could go back to college and become a veterinarian, or something like that…

Nah! Homework stinks!

Now, it might be a hoot to learn how to build a house…

or even become a Marine Biologist…

But, the problem I’m having with most of these new skills is that they take more time and money than I got.

Besides, maybe I should focus on balancing a grandbaby and baking at the same time…

She’ll be here by Thanksgiving, I think. Now this is a skill I will thoroughly enjoy mastering!

Cookie?

You didn’t think I was going to make you eat the ones that fell on the floor, did you? I wouldn’t dare do a thing like that!

Heffalump or Woozle…

If someone were to ask if you wished to be either a Heffalump or a Woozle, I bet it would be a good minute before you could confidently answer. Well, maybe it’s just me, beings that I’m quite small and have only just begun reading through the Winnie The Pooh series.

Ok, so maybe I’m somewhat large for an ant, but I was only just born last summer, and it did take me all winter to learn my letters and sounds. If I’m to be any good at writing, I gotta figure a good many things out on my own… that’s what journalists do, you know.

We do a good amount of reading, interviewing, and gathering up the facts, before we put things down on paper… or keyboard.

Please don’t say anything, but I may have gotten in over my head with this Winnie The Pooh business. You see, I sort of made a big deal about being able to read books all by myself, and assured Mee-maw that I didn’t need her help.

Things were going fine, til I got to the part about Heffalumps and Woozles…

Are you kidding me? That’s not fair!

As I’ve been told, time and again, Google is my friend, so I went to said friend. But, now I’m more confused than when I started. I’ll try to explain.

Ok, so according to Google a Heffalump is like an adorably chubby Elephant that can fly, but only when you’re dreaming, I guess. A Woozle is apparently meant to be a Weasel, but cuter, and also flying like the Heffalump… and again, only seen when you dream them.

Time out! Am I the only one whose never seen them before, aside from these Winnie the Pooh stories? How come Google knows about them, and I don’t?

Or, better yet, when did Google ever get the chance to interview the dreamy little stuffed teddy bear, hmmmmm? Answer me that!

Ok, ok, ok… let’s say that I buy this whole Google meets Winnie the Pooh stuff. If I accept that Google got it right, after questioning the teddy bear, I am expected to believe that Elephants can indeed fly, as well as Weasels… but, apparently, only in my dreams. Or does that mean only the teddy bear can see them when he’s dreaming… this is so confusing.

What if I want to see them when I dream? Can I? And, more importantly, do I want to see them? Google says that they represent fear and/or anxiety, well, at least that’s what I think it’s saying. Here, I’ll show you…

What follows are the actual definitions from Google’s AI:

A heffalump represents a childhood fear of the unknown, an imaginary creature stemming from the word “elephant” as mispronounced by a child, often depicted as a large, monstrous, or scary beast. While first described as an unseen, dangerous “heffalump trap” in A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh books, the concept was later expanded in Disney’s adaptations to include the real, friendly, and less frightening Heffalumps and Woozles, ultimately becoming a symbol of overcome fears and prejudices. 

A woozle represents the unknown, a manifestation of unfounded fears or anxieties, as depicted in A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh where the characters chase their own tracks, thinking they are Woozle tracks. This concept extends to the “Woozle effect,” where weak, unverified evidence is repeatedly cited, leading to the mistaken belief in a fact or urban myth, such as in political or public health misinformation. 

Wait a minute… how did we get from fluffy purple elephants and pink Weasels, to the White House?

I will agree that elephants can be easily frightened, and weasels ARE rather high energy and anxious creatures, but to compare them to a politician… that’s taking things a bit too far for my liking.

I did like the part about overcoming fear of a thing, and also about truth over here say, as far as the whole misinformation thing goes.

Me? I’m only an ant, and a young one, at that! Somehow, even if I hadn’t gone to all the trouble of looking things up, I think that the book does a fairly good job of helping me figure things out… and it didn’t need a politician to do it! Just sayin.

I better give you some goodies, like Mee-maw does when she gives her two-cents on a thing…

My family is here for a visit, so I hope you don’t mind sharing… they don’t!

Rise and shine…

Photo by Maksim Romashkin on Pexels.com
Daily writing prompt
What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

Ummm… well? You know, if I were to take a guess, seeings as I’m only just having TODAY’s first cup of tea, I’m going with waking up as my answer to this mornings prompt about tomorrow mornings activities.

Sometimes, WordPress, you ask the silliest questions. By all rights, I shouldn’t, but due to my having such a charitable disposition this morning, I’ll allow you to share in the cookies… but, just this once!

Don’t make a habit of it…