How I’m feeling this morning can be summed up in the video below. The song is called Maybe It’s Ok, by We Are Messengers:

I shall be quite transparent for this next bit…

Currently, this child’s body is somewhat broken inside both medically and emotionally. Never fear though, as my spirit is stronger than ever… well, it’s His spirit that brings this girl so much strength. I did say that I was going to be very honest about things.

Our time in the wilderness, so to speak, has taken a bit more out of me than I’d first thought. What I’d assumed was just my IBS trying to readjust to things, has become something else. Now, it’s possibly just my ability to handle my health on my own any longer, which is where the emotional turmoil is coming from. I went down this route before and it didn’t end well… hence, the last 4 years of self-care. It hasn’t helped that nobody seems that concerned about my survival aside from God and my husband.

That is until this new doctor!

Not only did she surprise me with prayer during our first visit, but I think she actually listened to the words I spoke… I mean really heard me! And, she took the time to follow all of my test results, adjusting and selecting my meds and treatment. The downside to this new kind of medical care is that I can’t get away with anything. This means taking medications that are no longer an option… they are required! The first is a medication for my Cholesterol, which is off the charts, and has been for years. It doesn’t even matter if I eat like a bird… oh yeah, I already do! No change! The other is for my blood pressure, as it has gone off the reservation and it won’t come back down. That too has been something I was withholding from the doctor… that is, until recently.

In the last month my health has been systematically shutting down, in areas that I really kind of need. Well, I’ll need em if I’m to bring these stories to the little ones they’re meant for, ya know?! Little ones aside, I’m not done baking cookies… not in the slightest!

I’ve been writing on this blog steadily for nearly three years of this journey through the wilderness, and I’m not about to get to the gates of the Cities of Men, just to drop dead of exhaustion… and I don’t believe it’s God’s plan for me, either! I still believe that God led me to WordPress so that I could find you… each and every one of you!

Why?

Honestly, the answer will be different for each of you, as we’ve all grown closer together in different ways, and for different reasons. I know some of you better than others, but care for each and every soul that enters this lobby! I love you with the love of my God, my Savior, and the Holy Spirit that dwells in this vessel. Why else do you think I share so much with you, try to make you laugh, seek to make you think, and challenge you to eat my cookies? It’s love…

I know that most of my subscribers are adults, though I often write of adventures requiring you to find your inner child… so why do I do it?

Why don’t I write deep and passionate poetry?

Why not great theological teachings that might impress?

Why on earth do I always make you leave reality and push the boundaries of truth and/or fiction?

What’s in those cookies I feed you guys, anyways?

Some of you may think that I’m just a Jesus Freak that’s trying to shove God flavored cookies down your throats… well, ok, you got me there!

Some of you may think that I’m an oversharer lookin for sympathy andl/or attention. In truth… if that’s all you’ve seen then you should start reading between all those lines, friends. There’s so much more there…

Face it guys and gals, WordPress has become my family! With that being said and understood clearly, here, right now, it’s time we all start acting like it! I’ve been asking myself, of late, why I haven’t wanted to write for my family? Honestly, sometimes it feels like if I don’t give you something juicy and exciting (usually my journey junk)… I get nothin!

Now, before you start thinking that this is going to be another one of those articles complaining about a lack of likes, shares, and follows… stop it!

You come to this table as a family member… not a subscriber or follower, savvy?!

As a family, we are having a discussion about family dynamics, if that’s alright with everyone at the table. Do family members take the time to call or write each other, or do they just mail each other a gold star? As I’m just as guilty as you are, in this respect, let’s start making some healthy changes, here in the lobby. If you are busy, or not in the mood, don’t feel pressured to visit or leave me that gold star. It’s not like I get any money for it… it simply lets me know that you stopped by. If you do stop in and read, possibly grabbing a cookie, try leaving me a message, as well. Here’s the crazy part… your comment doesn’t have to have ANYTHING to do with what I wrote. Instead, try things like, “Hey, how are you?” or “I saw something the other day that made me think of you”. One of you actually wrote this to me, not too long ago… thank you, love.

There is nothing in the WordPress bylaws that states we cannot simply use the comment button to simply communicate with each other… you know, like friends and family should. Notice how I said should? Sadly, I realize that there are families that don’t do this… but honestly, it’s so very important! How else do you give love to those nearest your heart?

So, in the spirit of positivity, I am going to begin sending you messages in your comment box that may or may not have anything to do with what you wrote… ok?

No, I’m not going to try passing phone numbers or hookin up, if you get my meaning, here! I think that so often, we simply want to know that we’ve been seen, that someone noticed our passing.

If we all began seeking to give love to another, rather than seeking to receive for ourselves, wouldn’t we all become filled with needed love simply by proxy? Kind of like a happy accident or positive side effect?

Well, it can’t hurt to try, right?!