I’m not exactly sure where or how to start so I am just gonna roll with it, and yes, I said gonna.
Somehow, putting thoughts or memories down on paper, I always struggled with trying to write in a way that satisfied all the learned Scholars out there. Well, you never know, they might want to read something in the waiting room at the dentist or something. I am at a point in our journey that I can simply write from my heart and let God do the rest. It’s been a bumpy ride, to say the least.
Now, just because I keep mentioning the bumpy ride doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It means you were wide awake as we zigged and zagged like some of the best cats out there.
God and God alone could ever manage us because we might have been small in stature, but within our vessel is a raging river of emotions, strengths, weaknesses and a love so powerful it’s a bit off putting at times. We spent way too many years of our life trying to satisfy every other person’s requirement of us to be what they wanted, and the enemy used that to nearly destroy us.
It is nearly the end of March 2023, and the last 4 years have brought us to what I refer to as our base line. God met us at our lowest and has begun building up a soul capable of seeing ourself and others in a loving and truthful way. We learned to see ourself and others through the Fathers eyes.
You exhausted yourself trying to be enough for everyone around you, while often feeling empty inside. God taught you to love You, with all your flaws and failures, and the truths of yourself that made you the way God intended. The Father used our truths to show us how beautiful we are.
The only way for this to make sense is to tell you what brought you to that place where you could finally get up and walk on. Just so that you know, you didn’t get there with any form of wisdom quickly, rather, it took you all of your 100 years to try to really let God hold you. That is the truth of it!
He brought you this far, for just his purpose… when you see it, I’ll be there waiting.
Just as the mountains cast a perfect reflection of themselves upon the water, so to does a man cast a perfect reflection of his own character through the words coming out of his mouth.
It’s no wonder that the bible speaks constantly about things like being quick to listen, but slow to speak, or guarding our lips. And, don’t forget how many times scripture warns of taking every thought captive, as well as, every word.
We humans can be very nasty if wronged or offended. In some instances, we do it without any provocation, at all!
While reading the book of Matthew, I found myself circling and recircling chapter 12:33-37, where Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees for their blasphemous words against the Holy Spirit. I want to share the passage with you this morning, and you can take from it what you will.
33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Personally, the truth of how powerful words can be, strikes a chord within my spirit. How many times have I encountered someone whose vile speech completely envelopes their character, possibly smothering anything good that may have been there? How many times have I, myself, spoken out in anger or frustration, thereby marring any good fruit that I may have wished to offer others?
Apparently, God knew that we would struggle with things like anger, hurt, resentment, or even arrogance and cruelty. Often we say what makes us feel better, before ever considering the outcome of our words on those we use them against. Notice how I say we, because I’m not immune to this naughty human nature. The struggle is real!
Nearly two years ago, I made a bold commitment to God, and myself, to no longer use any profanity, derogatory speech, or disrespectful words, so as to no longer offend the Holy Spirit. For the most part, I’ve held true to my word. But then there are those days where I find myself slipping a few potty words into my vocabulary when no one is nearby.
While the scripture I shared is in the context of rebuking the hypocritical Pharisees, I believe that it goes far deeper than that specific sinful behavior, being displayed by those questioning Jesus at that moment.
Without going out of context, I think Jesus was speaking, not just to the Pharisees, but to the many people observing the situation. What was spoken by those men, as well as, how Jesus responded to their accusations and statements was being witnessed by many. Not only am I confident that Jesus put those men in their spiritual place, but he also left a lasting example of how dangerous one’s words can be to their own eternal soul.
I will probably still have those times where my mouth gets the better of me, but it won’t stop or discourage me from trying to be better, think better, speak better, and reflect His perfect love in a manner that honors my creator! While I am confident of my own eternal spiritual future, I’ve no desire to ever do or say a thing that might cause another to be damaged, discouraged, or dissuaded from seeking a soul saving relationship with God, his son Jesus Christ, and God’s precious Holy Spirit.
Sorry, not sorry, about going deep on this subject. I suppose that I feel very convicted about my own silent grumbling and potty words. Psalm 139 prevents me from using any excuses about my hidden slip-ups, as it speaks clearly of how closely God watches our every word, thought, action, and motive. If my maker knew if me before the creation of the world, and Jesus gave his life ages before I was ever formed in my mothers womb, and God knows the exact number of hairs on my head… there’s no hiding a single sin or shortcoming from him, is there?
One of the best exercises one can do, in regards to changing one’s speech and behaviors, is to try walking through a single day, considering that Christ is right there in the room with you the whole time. Whenever something comes to your lips, try asking yourself if you feel comfortable saying it in front of Him. Oh, and also ask yourself one other question (this is one of my own)… are you ok with how you say it, what your tone of voice is, and most importantly, what is the expression on your face?
By the way, God speaks all languages, including sign language, pig Latin, and Navajo Wind talk… just sayin!
Ahhhh, the laws of nature, the laws of Government, and yes, the laws of mankind, themselves. One might pick from any number of lists, in order to locate a law that seems in need of being changed. Would the change even remain, once enacted?
If we’ve learned anything at all regarding the law, it’s that if man is involved in it’s creation, modification, or even dissimilation… it won’t last!
After all these generations of humanity, we still struggle with racism, hate crimes, corporate greed and injustice, along with a completely inadequate educational system. Why is this still occurring? Human Nature, that’s why!
Until we learn that we never had any power in the first place, we’ll never stop making mistake after mistake after mistake!
I vote that instead of trying to find some law that we think we have the power to change, we start giving God the space to start making changes within our very hearts! Big, and very powerful changes are possible from the smallest of humble surrenders. I know who holds the power… and it’s neither you nor me, but God and God alone!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He makes a way!
When I am powerless, unseen, and discarded by a very broken and fallen world, He lifts me up, surrounds me, and covers me with His providence… and His Power! Since I never had the power to change the world on my own, in the first place, I never really lost anything of myself, aside from the fear, shame and self-loathing that usually comes with existence.
Since God’s the only one with any true power to change what needs changing, I choose to let Him do that which I cannot! That’s all I wish to focus on til I get home…
Sometimes, the winds and rain of life’s storms can become so loud and overpowering, all one can do is hold fast to something solid.
All strength has been spent in search of answers, directions and/or solutions to escape the storm’s fury.
But, what if one is meant to endure a storm, rather than escape it? What then?
I find that when things are beyond my control, my understanding, and my own strength… I seek God!
Here’s the place where my thoughts, my opinions, my plans of escape, and the sound of my own voice, need to take a time-out!
God most often will speak softer and quieter, the more agitated and anxious I become. You would think that he would simply raise his voice over my own babbling, just as I would do to my children when they were small.
But I’m not a small child any more. Those days are far behind me, so I’ve no excuse for not listening when my heavenly father counsels his daughter.
Here’s why I am eternally compelled to seek this God that I speak of so often… He whispers!
I’ve had ups, downs, successes, failures, and really big Uh Oh’s!
God has walked with me through each and every storm of my life, whether it was of my own design or something completely undeserved. He stayed, comforted, encouraged, and counseled… but always in the quiet, after I’d settled down into his lap, as it were. I learned a long time ago that when I felt the most anxious, it was because I wasn’t listening for God’s quiet voice.
There were times that I became angry with God for not speaking louder, telling myself that I could have avoided a thing all together, had He spoken up!
The funny thing is, I doubt I would have listened to His counsel anyway… it’s what I often did over the years. You know I like to keep things honest.
I would be less than truthful if I didn’t admit that I still do this on occasion. It gives me hope to know that I live in grace.
I doubt I’ll get all this stuff right in just one little ole earthly lifetime… I’m pretty sure that’s what eternity’s all about.
Now that I’m getting older, it’s even more important that I listen more carefully for His whispers. My hearing isn’t what it used to be. Fortunately, in my case, God often speaks clearly to my heart through scripture.
If one wants to answer this prompt adequately, we must first come to a clear understanding of what we consider clutter.
Essentially, the word clutter refers to a bunch of things laying about in a mess. That means that it’s going to look different, depending on whose looking, and in my opinion, isn’t limited to one or two categories.
Since the word clutter is classed as a noun, it has the potential to represent anything from a person, a place, OR a thing! Bearing this in mind, I considered what my tidying up checklist might look like…
Clutter Clean-up Checklist!
Too many people cluttering my doorway… nope… Check!
An overfilled laundry room, with no available working machines… nope… Check!
A library of unread books… nope… check!
A closet full of unused dirty clothes… nope… check!
Cupboards full of old, unused household items, outdated cleaning supplies, and moldy hamburger buns from behind the cabinet… nope… check!
Expired food in the back of the refrigerator… nope… check!
Shelves filled with trinkets, toys, bits and bobs from over the years… nope… check!
The only clutter I’m really dealing with is that of the mind. Stacks of broken dreams, and painful memories, lay strewn along the roadside of the mind. That’s where the real clutter is for most, and it’s far more destructive that a pile of dirty old boots, or an overflowing Tupperware drawer in ones kitchen.
Whether one is referring to physical clutter, or that of the mind, I think that the bible speaks of both…
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
Oddly enough, sometimes Google’s AI does a fairly decent job of explaining a thing, and today was one of those times…
“Store up treasures in heaven” means to focus on eternal, spiritual values rather than temporary earthly wealth, investing your life, resources, and heart in acts of generosity, faith, and love that have lasting significance, as taught by Jesus in Matthew 6:19-21. It involves shifting your priorities from material accumulation to spiritual riches, knowing that “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”.
I pray that my words, my life, and my purpose will always reflect a light that is not mine, but that of the Almighty! There is no greater calling, or mission, if you will.
Mine is a testimony of redemption, cleansing, healing and unfathomable grace, from the One who created the very foundations of this world.
It was simple, really. All I had to do was believe in Him, and trust fully in the words spoken by His only son, Jesus Christ. The mission given me was, and is, the same one given all those ages ago, while Jesus walked this earth…
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
When you accept one of my silly virtual cookies, they are stuffed with as much love and light that I can muster. And, then I pray that you will be covered with a myriad of little healing cookie crumbs… blessed crumbs, even. I know they aren’t real, but I guess it’s sort of symbolic, in hopes that you’ll see how valuable and precious you are to me, and more importantly, how much you’re worth to God. He loves you, whether you believe it or not, and He will never stop loving you… ever!
Why do I do it? Because, I’ve been called to do so. Not only that, but it fills me with such peace and happiness, knowing that everything I do for others is to be for His glory, not mine…
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
Even when you cannot see your destination, sail on
When the winds threaten, sail on
And, when the waves hit you from every side, sail on…
Trust your compass, trust your ship
Lean not on your own understanding
And, do not fear the wind that threatens…
Take each wave as it comes
Keep your course straight and true
And, trust the map you’ve been given…
As I was writing this, Proverbs 3:5, 6 came to mind. I googled part of the verse, because I couldn’t remember the scripture reference, and this is what popped up…
“Lean not on your own understanding” comes from Proverbs 3:5-6 in the Bible, meaning to trust God’s guidance over your own limited perspective, especially in decisions, acknowledging that divine wisdom is greater than human intellect, and that while using your mind is good, ultimate reliance should be on God, who promises to guide you if you submit your ways to Him. It encourages faith over purely rational, incomplete human reasoning, especially in uncertain times.
Key Meanings
Trust God Fully: Place complete faith in the Lord with all your heart, not just in big decisions but in every aspect of life.
Limited Human Wisdom:
Recognize that human understanding is finite and can be flawed or incomplete, even with intellect.
Seek Divine Guidance:
Acknowledge God in all your ways (actions, plans, thoughts) for Him to direct your paths.
Not Irrationality:
It doesn’t mean abandoning your intellect, but rather not relying solely on it, especially when it conflicts with faith or leads to confusion.
Practical Application
In Uncertainty: When faced with dilemmas, pray and seek God’s will rather than trying to figure everything out alone, which can cause stress.
Surrender Plans: Give your plans to God, trusting His bigger picture and better plan. Be Wise in His Eyes: Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil as a result of trusting Him.
I know that was the long winded version to accompany my tiny poem, but thought it worth the share.
I’ll be honest in saying that I was a bit distracted, what with our newest grandbaby arriving. I’m gonna let Sugarplum take all the spotlight, because all I did was feel sorry for myself and play video games.
Oh, as far as the self-pity gaming… I’m over it, thank goodness!
While things have not changed for the better with my health, my reliance and obedience to God have not wavered!
I’ve no idea what, when, or if I’ll write anything of value this year, but I intend to be here with bells on, regardless!
There is a very fine, and precarious line between writing with passion or writing with emotion. Some can separate these two things while writing, quite effectively, I cannot. Don’t get me wrong, as I can definitely write this way… but it’s raw, painful, and often can be very damaging to others, not to mention my own mental state.
My health journey over the last 6 months has been exhausting, discouraging, and traumatic. I’ve been tossed from one specialist to another, none of which want my case. Primary doc sent me to the G.I. who went on vacation, so I waited three weeks. They ran tests and said it was simply due to my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). The weight continued to drop, and I still couldn’t eat. I asked for another appointment which was scheduled for two months later. I went off on the nurse, to say the least, though no swear words or disrespect were used. I simply screamed out over the phone that I didn’t want to die, and I was begging for help. In exasperation, they scheduled me for the next test, which was the Esophogram. That’s where they made the SECOND diagnosis for the Hiatal Hernia.
Off to the surgeon I was sent, where he also went on vacation for an additional 3 weeks before my appointment. He said he wanted more tests, so again, I waited another month for the nuclear study. They then said that my stomach was not emptying like normal, and referred me back to the G.I. for more meds… the surgeon refused to operate!
I got a message immediately from my G.I., not for an appointment but to offer a new drug… surprise!
My answer… NO MORE DRUGS!
Since when did doctors refuse to doctor?
When was it acceptable to allow a commercial about a new drug to dictate whether I should ask a doctor for help or not?
What about the Hypocritic Oath? Or are they now teaching the Hypocritical Oath in colleges these days?
Not even hours after that email, email I said, email… I saw a commercial on television for the very medication the doctor had so quickly offered me over the phone.
I’m out!
It will be God that heals me or I shall be going home… either way brings me no fear, but rather, hope for my future.
Each day I pray that God covers me, allowing me to get the very most out of a bowl of oatmeal with raisins, and 3 oz. chicken and rice w/veggies for dinner. I am reminded of how the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, eating Manna and quail… if they could do it, so too can I!
My God is far more Omnipotent and powerful than anything of man… I will stay on my feet as the chosen warrior of God until my last breath has gone!
I shall not fear!
I will walk boldly in the shadow of my God, who knows every part of my journey!
There may be days where I am silent, only offering inspirational music or scripture. Those are the days where He carries me.
There will be days of laughter, where God’s lessons are the ones that help me to lighten up, and let things be.
There may even be days where I cry out, in need of some encouragement and love from those I consider family… that’s you!
Whatever this year brings, we will face it together… I will share my ups, downs, and in-bewteens, and I expect the same from you! Just because one has struggles, doesn’t mean they’re incapable of giving love and understanding to others.
No matter where you are, what you are going through, or how badly you might be hurting, you are loved… you are valued… you are prayed for… and you are NEEDED, as you are!
… like the frozen peaks of a mighty mountain range. Sadly, little can survive there.
What about finding church in nature?
Can all that quite beauty and solitude become a church, of sorts? Meditating in peace, while trying to safely navigate this lost and fallen world?
Can Church be found in a book, but not in a heart?
What about where 2 or more are gathered?
Do I fit into the Church, or is the Church supposed to reside within Me?
Google says that the Bible mentions the word Church about 120 different times.
Somebody on Google also says that there are estimated to be between eight and 16 million actual church buildings in the world.
Another person says that there are 37 million churches throughout the world.
Oh yeah, and I also read that there are more than 45,000 Christian denominations in the world. I think I found all this information in under 5 minutes on the great World Wide Web. What started out as my morning quiet time in the word, turned into 2 days of trail walks, another day pondering my own church experiences, and then finally, the above mentioned 5 minutes of “Google is your friend”!
Honestly, at this point, I was feeling like a deer caught in someone’s proverbial headlights! I know we all believe that google is our friend, but let me tell ya, not only is it your friend, but EVERYBODY’S friend! Electronic Overshare Overload is what I will consider reality! Jokes aside, the web can be a great resource, within reason. Too much of a good thing can be not so good for us. Well, at least that’s how that old saying goes, anyways.
I am realizing that I am not interested in what the WWW thinks, nor am I certain as to where I stand with my own beliefs, regarding this subject.
However, here is the awesome truth about faith… I do believe in WHO God is and what He says to me! If I am to believe that the Bible is 100% truth, it goes to show that I will find the honest answers to my questions within this very book, right? Within this one book are my answers, written down simply and clearly, assuming I am truly seeking the HONEST answer.
With this truth upon my heart, I am embarking on a journey of knowledge, that I may see with clarity a Godly understanding of Church, His purpose, and how I fit into the body of Christ (His Church).
You know I will not go all the way to some clarity, without returning with some really great stories for you all. Keep a weathered eye out for me, and I will see you on the (metaphorical) flip side…
I read somewhere that doubts were like little fears trying to come to life, or something like that. It makes sense if you think about it for a moment.
I guess when I have doubts about my writing ability, that can be seen as the same thing as fear of failure or rejection.
When I have doubts that we will ever get beyond one step above homelessness, isn’t that the same thing as fearing God will let me down… that He’s forgotten me, or simply left me here?
Some call it doubt, some call it fear, and most often, you’ll hear me call it a Rabbit Hole.
Whatever we choose to call it, we all face obstacles that can cause us to doubt ourselves, and our fear of failing to overcome sends us down all sorts of rabbit holes to try and wriggle out of things.
I think the bottom line is whether we have enough faith, or maybe enough courage, and/or enough inner fortitude to rise above the things we face.
I think it is a good idea to regularly remind myself to do some self-checks of who and what I am… to God, to others, but very importantly, to myself! If I don’t believe that I am valuable and worthy of love, how can I believe that God feels that way about this daughter of His? Does that make sense? If I don’t I am worthy enough to serve God, it makes it very difficult for me to step out in faith when He asks it of me, because I get too caught up in doubt.
So, for a healthy reminder to regularly sweep out my doubt closet, Note To Self #12 is from one of my favorite authors…
“We are what we believe we are”. C.S. Lewis
Just to make sure I have brought my point across about doubt and about believing in ourselves, I’ve included a song by Lauren Daigle called You Say. I hope to leave you with a reminder for those who need it…
Journey With Me! 