Matters of The Heart…

Episode 3                                  Skimming…

Some of my earliest childhood memories come from life on the farm.  All of the good ones that stuck to the walls of my heart, were the ones with my mother, and often in the garden or within the kitchen.  One particular memory arose this morning, as I lay in the darkness just before dawn, leaving me a tad perplexed, as to its purpose.  I’m still not fully certain I’ve grasped all of its meaning, but we shall roll forward anyway, as I tend to do with things God asks of me… sometimes we never see a thing til long afterward, and sometimes never!  I try not to ask God about his purpose too much, mostly because I wish to focus on being obedient in a task, regardless of whether or not further details might be forthcoming.  So with this in mind, I will simply tell you about the memory, and we can go from there.

One of my responsibilities, as the tiny little thing that I was, involved taking a large measuring cup and scooping all of the rich cream from off the top of the milk jar for my mother, each morning.  We kept the fresh milk inside a large glass jar, with a piece of foil for the lid, held in place with a rubber band.  Once the cream settled at the top, my mother would then pull the jar out of the refrigerator, set it on the counter, and stand me upon a stool beside it.  My mother busied herself at the sink, while I slowly and meticulously scooped the creamy liquid into a separate container.  I knew it would soon be transformed into sweet butter and other yummy things, making my mouth water, along with setting my tummy to growling.    

That was it… just a brief vision of skimming cream off the top of a mason jar of milk in my mamma’s kitchen, some 50 odd years ago.  Strange, isn’t it, how the mind works?

At first, I didn’t even understand what the memory had to do with anything at that moment, as I was lying there in the dark pondering what I should write for today’s episode on Matters of The Heart.  Then, in an instant, I was reminded of an article I posted not two days ago, I think.  Remember the other day, I wrote about boxes, and how we often use them to navigate our thoughts, frequently needing to sort them in one form or another?  Well, it dawned on me that if we sort things in our brain, we most probably have those boxes stored somewhere within the corridors of our hearts, which is where I was headed in the first place! 

But, what on earth does skimming have to do with sorting, you might be wondering?  Well, if we sort things that our mind stores within our heart, or even sort things from within our heart to store in our mind, it isn’t such a great leap of thought to consider that we also might have picked up a particular habit of existence… the skimming over of the things we keep stored in our heart, often taking up too much of our closet space. 

This habit starts when we are very young, from birth, in fact!  We learn a thing, and continue on from there, growing, learning and developing into who we are as adults.  Would you agree that none of us fully relive the memory of learning how to suckle from the breast each morning.  We learned it, grew from it, were weaned of it, and now just skim the surface of its relevance in our existence.

Skimming, as with anything else, is neither good nor evil, in and of itself.  Often, we use this skill to review a thing, or glean a piece of information needed for a particular task, without having to go through it in detail… it’s a time saver! 

The problem occurs when one attempts to skim over a thing they’ve never before read, or even make the assumption that they only need to see a portion, as they’re sure they remember the rest.  In terms of the corridors of the heart, all those boxes we keep stored and tucked away in our closets, begin to break down from a lack of sorting, organizing, and cleaning.  From there, many of the things missed during the skimming process, now begin to spill out into our corridors.  I don’t know about any of you, but God walks those corridors beside me always, so even if I don’t want to take notice of that which I am now tripping over as we walk… He does!

While we might fear God kicking our boxes around,  demanding that we clean up our dirty bits that have fallen out of their hidey holes, this couldn’t be further from the truth.  As a child that has been covered by the blood of the risen son of God, my creator only sees that which his son died to pay for!  While God sees all of what is within my heart, He only focuses on what has been washed white as the purest snow… that’s me, right here, right now.  Before you start thinking that this means we can leave our hearts corridors a cluttered mess, my hope is that we might want to stop skimming over things that are of eternal importance, and clean up our corridors as that of a bride preparing herself for the Groom. 

While it might be acceptable to put all of our unmentionables and dirty bits away from the guests we’ve just invited into our home for Sunday dinner, as I’m sure their observant eyes will be skimming … it’s not healthy, in the least, to do this with God.  The only thing one might accomplish by this bad habit, is never having a clean enough corridor for God to fill with the gifts He wants to place there!

What does this mean for me, personally?  I am learning to fully read the scriptures before me, taking the time to search for what God has tucked within its pages, instead of skimming over what I assume isn’t needed.  I’m using my new efforts of NOT skimming, by more carefully sorting through my boxes and discarding that which God no longer recognizes.  He sees all that is in my heart, and He stays anyway!  So, I wish to make the rooms and corridors of my heart as inviting as possible for He who dwells there…

Until next time, Hugs

Matters of The Heart…

Episode 2

          Have you ever been in a situation that brings you to that moment of exasperation where you utter a very ill-thought-out “Lord, please give me patience” prayer?  Has anyone else discovered that He will do exactly that, but never the way you expected, or were fully prepared to deal with, as I have?  Yes? No? Or are you trying to blend in with the wall, hoping not to bring attention to yourself, until after the Patience word leaves the room?  Trust me, I get it… and on a deeper level than some may think.  If not before this last week, I’m a firm believer right this very moment!  Looking back, I should not have been surprised in the least, when I made the commitment to begin this Matters of The Heart series.  I distinctly remember praying, “God, help me to use these writings to learn more of who I am as your child, and that I might grow stronger in my faith.” The Crazy Train version of distractions that have been running me over ever since, can only be described as getting rear-ended, only to be the one who gets the citation!  None of it makes any sense at all, seriously!

Let’s see, within less than two hours after posting my intentions about this series, last Thursday, things got interesting, to say the least.  I’ve already shared about the phone call mix up, telling us we weren’t supposed to stay here anymore, and the constant housekeeping staff visits, where they kept walking into our room all day.  No worries, things are stable on that front, as they’ve since gotten their paperwork corrected.  From that scenario we went directly on to the next comedy of errors, which was managing to injure my left hand while sleeping, of all things.  I still cannot fully use that hand, so the typing continues with just one and ¼ hands. 

From there it got weirder still, with a man coming to the door on the next morning, saying he was looking for room 264, which was right there, beside him (he appeared homeless, under the influence of something, and carrying a plate of food from the dining room).  Among at least three other incidents, the day came and went. The next morning seemed calm, and the day passed without much disturbance. But then, late that evening, we heard an enormous bang from the parking area just below our window!  Looking out outside, we discovered numerous police vehicles surrounding a vehicle that was apparently occupied.  Just as we are watching the scene unfold, in our underwear I might add, a hotel employee gives a short rap on our door and proceeds to walk right into our room!  With nothing more than a brief, “Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in this room”, he turned and disappeared down the steps.

Before you get too comfortable… it gets even better!

For what seemed like hours, it was pretty much a stand-off in the parking lot, with guns drawn, several more gas/flashbang thingies, before they called a tow truck in, hauled the car across the street, and removed whoever was in the vehicle (we didn’t witness that part).  The car re-appeared in the parking lot a short time later, disappeared again, returned the following morning and then left again, not to return.  Only later did we learn that several homeless people had been living in that car, and refused to leave.  I will tell you that it wasn’t shocking to me, nor was it a surprise.  Due to several very uncomfortable encounters on the walking trails nearby, God has warned me to stay within our motel room, until we leave this area.  So, here is where I sit, snug as a bug in a rug, as they say.

In case you’re wondering if I’ve forgotten all about the writing that was intended for this series, I haven’t!  I believe that it has everything to do with it, don’t you see?  Everything that occurs in the world around us, will be observed, experienced and felt, based on what?  How we think, what we believe, and how we feel about what we’re facing… and where do feelings come from?  The heart, or more accurately, what the heart perceives, based on how it responds to the brain’s impulses… crazy, right?! 

No, I’m not a doctor, scholar, scientist, philosopher or learned professor!  But… I do have a heart, my own heart that beats all by its onesie’s, without any of those brilliant minds to assist.  Not a single one of them created the blueprint for the heart that beats within this body, nor did they have the power to light the spark that set it into motion.  I do believe in the good of science, and I’m so humbly grateful to all within our educational and medical professions.  With that being said, I know who created them… I know who gave them their gifts, and then, instilled in them the ability to use those gifts!  You will hopefully soon discover that there are just some places within the human heart, where neither science nor doctors can assist.

This is the road we’ll be traveling down… through the very pathways of our heart, which by design, were created to do one thing, seek out the very heart of God!  He wants us to search our hearts, to see the evidence of his passing by, flowing through, and recognize that it is He, and Only He that can truly heal all the damage done by this world. While doing so, he also redeems is from that which we have done to ourselves.  Hence, the necessity of using my own personal journey and experiences, so that you might see a glimpse of Him, in how I, myself, am still standing.

I am soon to see my 56th birthday, and can no longer keep an accurate count of how many instances death has crossed my path. In every situation, I’ve witnessed first hand, as God interceded on my behalf, saving me from destruction.  I wish that I could say that I was never the villain, in any of it, but alas, I cannot.  Can you believe that it was nearly two years ago that I finally opened my eyes from the bottom of the well I was lying in? 

God has done such a transformative work in my life, that it could fill a book… oh wait, I did write one.  Well, if you’re at all wondering, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we’re often called to do a thing for God, without specific details or even any evidence of an immediate result.  It was good that I wrote the book, but what happens if the one who was in need of reading it, hasn’t come to the place where they are ready to read it?  I choose to rely on God’s eternal faithfulness; I shall believe in the evidence of that which is not seen! Though I thought it was of such vital importance to write at the time, looking back down the pathways of my heart, I can see that I couldn’t have been further from the truth! 

As you’re well aware, choosing to live separately from the world hasn’t been a bed of roses.  I made a very personal commitment to God two years ago, walking away from a great deal of what the world offers.  That means, choosing a path that I knew I would have to walk alone.  Removing myself from things of this world and following God has not done any favors to the few relationships I still had.  Especially right now, being a follower of Jesus Christ brings a big kick me sign to wear on the back of one’s shirt.  Has it helped mend the bridges I burned with my children?  Nope!  If anything, they dislike me tenfold, at the moment.  I continue to walk forward each day, upon the edge of a knife, as my hair falls out and my health plummets. 

Honestly… I wouldn’t have things any other way, if it bears good fruit, which I believe it has, is, and will continue to do.  I will dwell beneath the shadow of the Almighty… and as Paul said, “count it all joy.”

Until next time, may God surround you with his love… hugs

Matters of the Heart…

Episode 1

I wish to take you on a journey into the depths of the human heart, through the eyes of traveler…

Though the traveler will often be seen as myself, at any given time it could be anyone, really.  The reason for this is to allow freedom of perspective; pointing no fingers, nor assigning any blame.  I seek to be as transparent as possible, therefore, its quite appropriate to use myself as an example, so long as I do it in love and with good fruit in mind. 

Why, you ask yourselves, would she share such deep emotions, for all to see?  Well, I’ll tell you why… because, like it or not, YOU are my family… you’re it, guys and gals.  No, this isn’t sorry time, so lift your chins up!  This is my choice, my chosen path, as lovingly directed by my DAD!  You know, the big guy upstairs!

I will mostly be using my own journey, taking you with me on a walk, of sorts, through the last two years of God’s redemptive love ,and healing transformation.  In truth, He has had to rebuild me… from the ground up!  I’m free to openly and candidly share this recent part of my journey, as it doesn’t compromise any writings from my autobiography, which is still resting in the vault.  I will undoubtedly touch on the many faceted reason that it’s still in there, but for now let’s just say that God asked me to write it, but has yet to give it back to me… so there’s that, lol!

Anyway, back to this new series. If I see you as my family, then you deserve my love, my devotion, my efforts and my fellowship… yes, I said fellowship!  I need it from you, just as much as my words reach out to hug your hearts, when I click that Publish button.  Now don’t panic!  I’ll not ask a single thing more from you than you’re already doing, my sweet friends.  Why not, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you why. As I may have mentioned in the past, I feel this world on an empathetic plane of existence, you see.  Just by reading through your blogs, and conversing with you, this girl gets hit by waves of your emotions!  Some might think this a curse, but it kept me alive all those years ago, allowing me to sense danger quickly and fueled my fight or flight reflexes.  While there were a great many years of struggle to understand and navigate my own heart, this empathy has been shaped and molded by the very hand of God… just in the last two years, point in fact!

It has come down from my Father, directly, that it’s time to share what He has done for this broken, fallen, and ugly mess, and yes I said ugly… because that’s what I felt like on the inside for most of my existence, and what one feels like on the inside always finds its way into the light.  So, yes, when I began to really change two years ago, your hearts would break to view the actual shape I was in… it wasn’t pretty, I can assure you!  That being said, I want to show you the journey God has led me on, as He removed my bitter blinders, flushed out all of poison within my heart, and gave me new eyes…both literally, and figuratively!

So, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be setting aside the cookie plate on these episodes, which will post each Thursday.  Grab a cup of coffee, pad your posteriors, and check your presuppositions at the door!  As we travel through the arteries that weave throughout the human heart, look only to see the life-giving waters that flow, mixed with the blood sacrificed to redeem it!  We’ll be diving deep, so bring a tissue or two, if you tend to cry like I do. 

Don’t worry… remember, I said this was all meant to bear good fruit, so only that which is edifying will be shared.  Besides, this has been an incredible journey and I wish to share it with you, so as to reflect Gods miraculous and Perfect Love!

See you next Thursday… hugs

He Wouldn’t…

In a world where black is white, up is down, and right is wrong, we may sometimes feel as if God isn’t paying attention… or is sitting idly by, while we suffer through things that He could easily rescue us from. Our human hurt, confusion, anger and/or grief overwhelm us, blotting out the SON!

For me, it is very easy to become discouraged about my circumstances, when I naively begin assuming that He isn’t paying attention. If I let myself, I can have a myriad of differing types of pity parties… all in an instant, if I hold to my own understanding and forget to look up!

Look up for what, you may be wondering? When I look up to see what God has done, is doing, and will faithfully continue to do for my good, and my future within His purpose!

It is so frustrating to observe how we humans have such a propensity to take our eyes off of God when things are going good, but when we experience anything beyond our understanding, rather than being angry at Satan and his minions for the wickedness they’ve caused upon this earth, in our hurt and confusion, we blame God!

Oh, we don’t blame Him for causing a thing… no no, we just like to blame Him for apparently doing nothing to help us!

For so many, it is far easier to make a list of what God wouldn’t, couldn’t or won’t do for us, his children… than to believe and trust in who we know He IS!

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

When I am struggling with a thing, regardless of what or how difficult it might be, I tell you this… I go to His word!

Writing down a list for you, reflecting my grief credentials and qualifications, might be great for playing the “I’ll show you my scars, if you show me yours” game, but not for expressing genuine empathy to others, who are hurting desperately, over a thing.

Another blogger wrote an article the other day about understanding why God seemingly steps back and allows bad things to happen to good people, refusing to intercede. That is an age old question… mainly because humanity has a habit of circling the wagon, as far as repeating a thing over and over, expecting a different outcome.

Things went sideways from the moment Satan tempted Eve, and in turn, Adam. We could go all the way back to asking why God allowed Cain to murder his brother, Abel? Or what about the flood, why didn’t God let anyone else on the boat… well, that was ultimately their sinful choice, if you want my two cents.

Or, how might things have gone with Abraham and his son, Isaac? How must the man have struggled with the why’s, as he walked his only son up that mountain to offer him as a sacrifice to God, on blind faith? Did God actually ever make him kill the child… of course not! It was all about the man’s faith!

Let us not forget Joseph in the well, Moses and the Israelites, or King David, all those years before he was actually sitting upon the throne. Oh, the questioning and doubts they must have wrestled with, deep into the shadows of the night! We don’t have all day, so I’ll leave you with one last example before you go:

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

Just in case you were wondering, the Son of The Most High God felt our human emotions… though HE overcame all of it, for our sakes!

When I am in the depths of things beyond me, I hold to that!

We sinned

But He wouldn’t turn away…

We turned away

But He wouldn’t abandon us…

We denied Him

But He wouldn’t refuse us His only Son!

I ran, I fought, I raged, I sinned, I screamed for Him to just smite me… blot me out of His vision forever…

He Wouldn’t!

The World is My Oyster…

Daily writing prompt
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

While I have no specific list of things off the top of my head that need attempting, I’m confident that if God asks it, it shall be done! If I am walking in faithful obedience to my heavenly Father, my Creator, and King… failure is not in the mix!

Things may not look like we sometimes think they should, and often we must step into a thing with far less ability than we have within us… but, God does not give us a task without providing His strength and skill to complete that which He has asked… so, I’m covered!

Just to put my bible where my mouth is:

Ephesians 3:20-21: God can do anything, working within us through his Spirit. 

Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and he will make your paths straight. 

Colossians 3:17: Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father. 

Jeremiah 29:11: The Lord has plans for you to prosper and give you hope and a future. 

1 John 4: If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 

Other Bible verses about God include: Psalm 16:2, Psalm 34:8-10, Psalm 23:6, Psalm 65:11, and Psalm 107:8-9. 

Here’s some coffee, tea, cookies…

Enjoy them while you’re reading.

Blissfully Adrift…

When God moves… you gotta be ready to go!

While you may or may not have noticed the lack of my presence over the last week, we are in a transition period of being homeless. Now, don’t get fussy just yet, cause when I said that God’s got me… I mean it fully in every sense of the words!

In order for us to be eligible for housing assistance, we must first be classed as homeless. What this meant for us… abandon the RV!

By God’s grace and purpose, from the time we got into the car, we were actually homeless for a total of 35 minutes… the time it took for us to drive to the motel that was paid for and provided. This has to have been one of the easiest moves I’ve ever had to make!

The double bonus is that we barely have anything to take with us, so the packing has been easy. We still have to have the RV towed to a storage facility, as it is not drivable at all.

At this time, all I can really tell you is that I took a shower in my own bathroom last night…

Ok… I can tell you more!

I have a working toilet, hot water, a mini kitchen, a huge fluffy bed covered in white sheets, white pillows, white everything…

My bathroom towels are all white… and clean!

There is a pool, a gym, a laundry room, breakfast provided each morning, free parking, free internet… free everything!

While we are still a distance away from actual housing… I could not be more grateful to my God, my husband, my WordPress family, and absolutely every single person who had a part in opening all the doors, thus far.

This has been such a journey, and though I realize it is not over, when one has been drowning, that first breath of glorious air is indescribable!

I shall keep you posted, my friends.

Note To Self…

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

Have you ever noticed how, when you read a bible verse, within mere seconds you are already trying to conform the verse to a picture reflecting what you want to see? It’s easy to do since we are human, selfish by nature… good for survival and self-preservation, but not so good for the long run, if you know what I mean. Too much self is never a good thing!

Take my Note To Self #18…

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:4

In truth, when I was a young Christian I read this as a sign that said if I did all I was supposed to do, then I would be blessed with long life and wealth… cause that’s what I thought I wanted! I also have now come to the realization that I had an unrealistic expectation of the timeline for said $$$ to reveal itself! 

I have discovered, as many of you also have, the above verse never said anything about what it means to “Delight yourself” nor did it say the timeline for said results of this delighting stuff! I think it is because over time, we have become conditioned to the old InstantGratificationitis! We want to see results… right fast and in a hurry, or else we surmise that we either failed or just did things wrong the first, second or third time through.

Through the years I have discovered a few things about God, the world, myself and the way of things. One thing about God… He loves to give gifts! I have discovered that every dream or desire I think I really want or need… He always does one better! The other thing about God is that He is much wiser than I shall ever be… things I thought I wanted ended up not being what I needed, or if they were, they were nowhere near being on the same timeline as His! 

I think the part I should be focusing on is the delighting, rather than the desiring… at least that is what my spirit is saying.

I chose to put this verse into my list of notes, so that I am reminded each time I read to practice the delighting part first… only after this can I begin to even consider a desire. Each time I read the verse, it poses a question to me… what does the bible say delighting is?

According to Google,

“The Hebrew word for delight (anag) commands us to find enjoyment in God. The Lord wants us to incline our hearts toward Him –– to lean in to Christ where we will discover unspeakable joy.”

I have to admit that Google gave a pretty accurate and simple answer, but still not enough for us to head out with a list of things “to do” that will bring the results necessary. From one answer we head off with more questions… how do we find enjoyment, and what does it mean to incline our hearts toward Him?

God delighted himself when creating us in His image, so therefore, we should be able to feel delight when we are near Him, I think. As humans, do we not gain a great amount of delight and pleasure when we have gained the approval of our parents? God is the only parent I have, so for me it is easy… I just seek to make Him proud of me, in all I do and say. 

Before you start guessing and things get complicated, I will just tell you what I do to make God proud. I believe in Him, I trust Him, and I surrender to His will for my life… One Day at a Time… on my knees and in His word! That’s it! Super Simple! No, I don’t spend hours a day doing this, some days maybe, but not everyday! Most days I read a little, work on a memory verse, and spend a few moments in thoughtful prayer… though I do talk to God repeatedly, at many different times of the day. 

That’s one of the many beautiful things about God… at any moment we make room for Him, there He will faithfully be standing and ready to meet with us. When David was only a boy, tending his fathers flocks, he spent many a solitary hour walking with and talking with God. That young king to be, spent a great many hours delighting in the Lord, out in the middle of nowhere, with no music band or fancy choir to perform for God… it was just a boy who loved God so much that he always wrote, sang and danced before his heavenly Father. From the boy in the field, to the young man before a Giant, and on to the King he became… always the delight would surface.

All the way back to when this verse was put to paper, David was probably the originator of the acronym, KISS. Again, I am pleased with Google’s response,

Keep it simple, stupid (KISS) is a design principle which states that designs and/or systems should be as simple as possible. Wherever possible, complexity should be avoided in a system—as simplicity guarantees the greatest levels of user acceptance and interaction.

I shall take from both David and Google, not overthinking like I sometimes can, and just delight in God each day! He knows my needs and desires even before I do, so there’s no reason to try keeping a list, or try guessing God’s timeline or plan… He’s got this so I’m going to let Him handle all my presents!

Investigating Truths…

So, as I am getting a bit more organized, my Investigating Truths episodes will become my journaling storyboard, using all of you sweet people as my crash test smarties…my hope is that you will come along with me as I try my hand at sharing my truths with other souls in all different forms. I want to do this because in the same sense that people learn in different formats, they also receive grace, love, and mercy in just the same manor. My wish is to always stay a few steps outside of the “Normal” boxes that we can find ourselves stuck in. Think of Journey With Me as a cozy little lobby, with no door to close anyone out, filled with plush and colorful sofas to stay as long as one wishes, and right in the center is a table for any who stop by…

Apon this table I wish to have lovely bowls filled to overflowing with little gifts of joy, laughter, wisdom, truth, grace, and mercy pouring out over the edges…these vessels are never empty, as I have a supplier that delivers an unending supply…nothing ever expires!

It is my passion and purpose to ensure that you always feel welcome in this lobby, just remember, I am no more than an administrative assistant to a very Self Sufficient Site Manager! He supplies me with whatever I need, so if you are ever in need of some, please receive freely, as there is no charge here for love, acceptance, and extended stay guests…welcome!!!!!!!!!

I want to start us out now on a test run of a more poetic style

This style is being practiced with a copy of a letter I wrote to my first born. Dreams impact me in a way I cannot fully explain, so I try to write them down thinking that with time, I may come to decipher some secret code…lol. I am still not fully sure of what this meant but I hope you will enjoy the format I tried to follow, very loosely, by the way!

I Dreamt of You…

Down along a 2-lane road, driving slowly around each bend and curve, Lush green foliage covering the hillside, giving shade as we passed by

Ocean waves met the eyes, if one followed the hillside down, drawing the eyes onward, toward a delicate little town

Finding ourselves within a U-shaped cove, the endless clear glass blue came and went from beyond the shore

Cobblestone lined the streets, buildings of soft colors greeted our eyes, Beckoning one inside for toys and treats

Though no other cars appeared, a plane rested upon the shore, the bottom made of glass and with delicate silver handles upon the door

You, Babybear, are the only face I remember clearly,

flying low over the ocean waters, you were sitting on the glass bottom surrounded by soft light

Time seemed to stand still as whales began swimming to you, Up to the window they came, seeking your tiny hands

Your arms stretched out to reach, eagerness filled your eyes, you had the most beautiful smile, and I could feel your joy and excitement

  I couldn’t stop watching you, the happiness clearly on your face, and the look in your eyes, forever it was etched into my memory

Under water we flew and into a cavern of brilliant lights we appeared, vivid blues, reds, purples and every color imaginable, were here being cast about, reflecting off the stone

Suddenly, the cavern filled with a multitude of whales, along with their young ones, gracefully gliding by

Through the glass we touched them, trailing fingers along their skin, as if nothing were in between, and Glass no longer appeared

You began floating amidst them, gently carried on invisible currents, Baluga whales began appearing, Dolphins as well

Swimming freely with all of them, you breathed water as if it were air

I was the only one who spoke in this dream, saying Gentle we must be, for if this be a birthing place, mindful these mothers now seem, of this I was sure, for as you are my child, it would be that for me…

You may only be a small child, and though I don’t understand this dream, I will always believe that you are a very special little girl.

Love Mom.