Tag: faith

Matters of the Heart…

Wiwohka2 Comments

Episode 1

I wish to take you on a journey into the depths of the human heart, through the eyes of traveler…

Though the traveler will often be seen as myself, at any given time it could be anyone, really.  The reason for this is to allow freedom of perspective; pointing no fingers, nor assigning any blame.  I seek to be as transparent as possible, therefore, its quite appropriate to use myself as an example, so long as I do it in love and with good fruit in mind. 

Why, you ask yourselves, would she share such deep emotions, for all to see?  Well, I’ll tell you why… because, like it or not, YOU are my family… you’re it, guys and gals.  No, this isn’t sorry time, so lift your chins up!  This is my choice, my chosen path, as lovingly directed by my DAD!  You know, the big guy upstairs!

I will mostly be using my own journey, taking you with me on a walk, of sorts, through the last two years of God’s redemptive love ,and healing transformation.  In truth, He has had to rebuild me… from the ground up!  I’m free to openly and candidly share this recent part of my journey, as it doesn’t compromise any writings from my autobiography, which is still resting in the vault.  I will undoubtedly touch on the many faceted reason that it’s still in there, but for now let’s just say that God asked me to write it, but has yet to give it back to me… so there’s that, lol!

Anyway, back to this new series. If I see you as my family, then you deserve my love, my devotion, my efforts and my fellowship… yes, I said fellowship!  I need it from you, just as much as my words reach out to hug your hearts, when I click that Publish button.  Now don’t panic!  I’ll not ask a single thing more from you than you’re already doing, my sweet friends.  Why not, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you why. As I may have mentioned in the past, I feel this world on an empathetic plane of existence, you see.  Just by reading through your blogs, and conversing with you, this girl gets hit by waves of your emotions!  Some might think this a curse, but it kept me alive all those years ago, allowing me to sense danger quickly and fueled my fight or flight reflexes.  While there were a great many years of struggle to understand and navigate my own heart, this empathy has been shaped and molded by the very hand of God… just in the last two years, point in fact!

It has come down from my Father, directly, that it’s time to share what He has done for this broken, fallen, and ugly mess, and yes I said ugly… because that’s what I felt like on the inside for most of my existence, and what one feels like on the inside always finds its way into the light.  So, yes, when I began to really change two years ago, your hearts would break to view the actual shape I was in… it wasn’t pretty, I can assure you!  That being said, I want to show you the journey God has led me on, as He removed my bitter blinders, flushed out all of poison within my heart, and gave me new eyes…both literally, and figuratively!

So, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be setting aside the cookie plate on these episodes, which will post each Thursday.  Grab a cup of coffee, pad your posteriors, and check your presuppositions at the door!  As we travel through the arteries that weave throughout the human heart, look only to see the life-giving waters that flow, mixed with the blood sacrificed to redeem it!  We’ll be diving deep, so bring a tissue or two, if you tend to cry like I do. 

Don’t worry… remember, I said this was all meant to bear good fruit, so only that which is edifying will be shared.  Besides, this has been an incredible journey and I wish to share it with you, so as to reflect Gods miraculous and Perfect Love!

See you next Thursday… hugs

Lemme Think…

Wiwohka6 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Describe a family member.
View all responses

What a question to consider, so early on in the morning…

Seriously, I’m only halfway through my second cup of coffee. Normally, my prompt answers are accompanied by no less than a three cup caffeine buzz!

Not so, this morning!

The question jarred me from my blissfulness, as I realized that I was faced with a painful prompt question that I’d refused to answer when it came up last year, this time.

How does she know the question wasn’t answered last year, you ask yourselves? Because, the first thing I tried to do, in order to avoid this prompt, was to copy last years answer. When I found it, the only response given was that I didn’t want to share anything. Great! Now what?

In the response I’d given back then, aside from refusing to answer the question, I made mention about needing to heal more, before trying to tackle a personal and very painful question. While I can see from my reaction to the prompt this morning that I’m still not ready to reply to this particular question… I recognize that I AM healing, though maybe not as fast as I’d hoped.

The adage, time heals all wounds, is rather ambiguous about the actual length of TIME involved in the process of healing. Every soul is different, every hurt processed from a different angle, and at varying speeds.

In some regards, I am far stronger and happier than I was just a year ago… but the pain is still there, and the reality of the loss is still felt within the depths of my soul.

With that being said, as I mentioned a moment ago, I AM healing! The fact that I’m able to hold myself to this keyboard and write a response to the prompt, bears the truth of my journey, thus far.

As of yet, I’m still not ready to write a heartfelt answer for this prompt. But, what I have been able to do is share a song from Lady and The Tramp,

See, I can do this!

Here, have a cookie…

He Wouldn’t…

Wiwohka8 Comments

In a world where black is white, up is down, and right is wrong, we may sometimes feel as if God isn’t paying attention… or is sitting idly by, while we suffer through things that He could easily rescue us from. Our human hurt, confusion, anger and/or grief overwhelm us, blotting out the SON!

For me, it is very easy to become discouraged about my circumstances, when I naively begin assuming that He isn’t paying attention. If I let myself, I can have a myriad of differing types of pity parties… all in an instant, if I hold to my own understanding and forget to look up!

Look up for what, you may be wondering? When I look up to see what God has done, is doing, and will faithfully continue to do for my good, and my future within His purpose!

It is so frustrating to observe how we humans have such a propensity to take our eyes off of God when things are going good, but when we experience anything beyond our understanding, rather than being angry at Satan and his minions for the wickedness they’ve caused upon this earth, in our hurt and confusion, we blame God!

Oh, we don’t blame Him for causing a thing… no no, we just like to blame Him for apparently doing nothing to help us!

For so many, it is far easier to make a list of what God wouldn’t, couldn’t or won’t do for us, his children… than to believe and trust in who we know He IS!

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

When I am struggling with a thing, regardless of what or how difficult it might be, I tell you this… I go to His word!

Writing down a list for you, reflecting my grief credentials and qualifications, might be great for playing the “I’ll show you my scars, if you show me yours” game, but not for expressing genuine empathy to others, who are hurting desperately, over a thing.

Another blogger wrote an article the other day about understanding why God seemingly steps back and allows bad things to happen to good people, refusing to intercede. That is an age old question… mainly because humanity has a habit of circling the wagon, as far as repeating a thing over and over, expecting a different outcome.

Things went sideways from the moment Satan tempted Eve, and in turn, Adam. We could go all the way back to asking why God allowed Cain to murder his brother, Abel? Or what about the flood, why didn’t God let anyone else on the boat… well, that was ultimately their sinful choice, if you want my two cents.

Or, how might things have gone with Abraham and his son, Isaac? How must the man have struggled with the why’s, as he walked his only son up that mountain to offer him as a sacrifice to God, on blind faith? Did God actually ever make him kill the child… of course not! It was all about the man’s faith!

Let us not forget Joseph in the well, Moses and the Israelites, or King David, all those years before he was actually sitting upon the throne. Oh, the questioning and doubts they must have wrestled with, deep into the shadows of the night! We don’t have all day, so I’ll leave you with one last example before you go:

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

Just in case you were wondering, the Son of The Most High God felt our human emotions… though HE overcame all of it, for our sakes!

When I am in the depths of things beyond me, I hold to that!

We sinned

But He wouldn’t turn away…

We turned away

But He wouldn’t abandon us…

We denied Him

But He wouldn’t refuse us His only Son!

I ran, I fought, I raged, I sinned, I screamed for Him to just smite me… blot me out of His vision forever…

He Wouldn’t!

Blissfully Adrift…

Wiwohka8 Comments

When God moves… you gotta be ready to go!

While you may or may not have noticed the lack of my presence over the last week, we are in a transition period of being homeless. Now, don’t get fussy just yet, cause when I said that God’s got me… I mean it fully in every sense of the words!

In order for us to be eligible for housing assistance, we must first be classed as homeless. What this meant for us… abandon the RV!

By God’s grace and purpose, from the time we got into the car, we were actually homeless for a total of 35 minutes… the time it took for us to drive to the motel that was paid for and provided. This has to have been one of the easiest moves I’ve ever had to make!

The double bonus is that we barely have anything to take with us, so the packing has been easy. We still have to have the RV towed to a storage facility, as it is not drivable at all.

At this time, all I can really tell you is that I took a shower in my own bathroom last night…

Ok… I can tell you more!

I have a working toilet, hot water, a mini kitchen, a huge fluffy bed covered in white sheets, white pillows, white everything…

My bathroom towels are all white… and clean!

There is a pool, a gym, a laundry room, breakfast provided each morning, free parking, free internet… free everything!

While we are still a distance away from actual housing… I could not be more grateful to my God, my husband, my WordPress family, and absolutely every single person who had a part in opening all the doors, thus far.

This has been such a journey, and though I realize it is not over, when one has been drowning, that first breath of glorious air is indescribable!

I shall keep you posted, my friends.

Note To Self…

Wiwohka5 Comments
Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

Have you ever noticed how, when you read a bible verse, within mere seconds you are already trying to conform the verse to a picture reflecting what you want to see? It’s easy to do since we are human, selfish by nature… good for survival and self-preservation, but not so good for the long run, if you know what I mean. Too much self is never a good thing!

Take my Note To Self #18…

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:4

In truth, when I was a young Christian I read this as a sign that said if I did all I was supposed to do, then I would be blessed with long life and wealth… cause that’s what I thought I wanted! I also have now come to the realization that I had an unrealistic expectation of the timeline for said $$$ to reveal itself! 

I have discovered, as many of you also have, the above verse never said anything about what it means to “Delight yourself” nor did it say the timeline for said results of this delighting stuff! I think it is because over time, we have become conditioned to the old InstantGratificationitis! We want to see results… right fast and in a hurry, or else we surmise that we either failed or just did things wrong the first, second or third time through.

Through the years I have discovered a few things about God, the world, myself and the way of things. One thing about God… He loves to give gifts! I have discovered that every dream or desire I think I really want or need… He always does one better! The other thing about God is that He is much wiser than I shall ever be… things I thought I wanted ended up not being what I needed, or if they were, they were nowhere near being on the same timeline as His! 

I think the part I should be focusing on is the delighting, rather than the desiring… at least that is what my spirit is saying.

I chose to put this verse into my list of notes, so that I am reminded each time I read to practice the delighting part first… only after this can I begin to even consider a desire. Each time I read the verse, it poses a question to me… what does the bible say delighting is?

According to Google,

“The Hebrew word for delight (anag) commands us to find enjoyment in God. The Lord wants us to incline our hearts toward Him –– to lean in to Christ where we will discover unspeakable joy.”

I have to admit that Google gave a pretty accurate and simple answer, but still not enough for us to head out with a list of things “to do” that will bring the results necessary. From one answer we head off with more questions… how do we find enjoyment, and what does it mean to incline our hearts toward Him?

God delighted himself when creating us in His image, so therefore, we should be able to feel delight when we are near Him, I think. As humans, do we not gain a great amount of delight and pleasure when we have gained the approval of our parents? God is the only parent I have, so for me it is easy… I just seek to make Him proud of me, in all I do and say. 

Before you start guessing and things get complicated, I will just tell you what I do to make God proud. I believe in Him, I trust Him, and I surrender to His will for my life… One Day at a Time… on my knees and in His word! That’s it! Super Simple! No, I don’t spend hours a day doing this, some days maybe, but not everyday! Most days I read a little, work on a memory verse, and spend a few moments in thoughtful prayer… though I do talk to God repeatedly, at many different times of the day. 

That’s one of the many beautiful things about God… at any moment we make room for Him, there He will faithfully be standing and ready to meet with us. When David was only a boy, tending his fathers flocks, he spent many a solitary hour walking with and talking with God. That young king to be, spent a great many hours delighting in the Lord, out in the middle of nowhere, with no music band or fancy choir to perform for God… it was just a boy who loved God so much that he always wrote, sang and danced before his heavenly Father. From the boy in the field, to the young man before a Giant, and on to the King he became… always the delight would surface.

All the way back to when this verse was put to paper, David was probably the originator of the acronym, KISS. Again, I am pleased with Google’s response,

Keep it simple, stupid (KISS) is a design principle which states that designs and/or systems should be as simple as possible. Wherever possible, complexity should be avoided in a system—as simplicity guarantees the greatest levels of user acceptance and interaction.

I shall take from both David and Google, not overthinking like I sometimes can, and just delight in God each day! He knows my needs and desires even before I do, so there’s no reason to try keeping a list, or try guessing God’s timeline or plan… He’s got this so I’m going to let Him handle all my presents!