Tag: faith

Maybe…

Wiwohka15 Comments

How I’m feeling this morning can be summed up in the video below. The song is called Maybe It’s Ok, by We Are Messengers:

I shall be quite transparent for this next bit…

Currently, this child’s body is somewhat broken inside both medically and emotionally. Never fear though, as my spirit is stronger than ever… well, it’s His spirit that brings this girl so much strength. I did say that I was going to be very honest about things.

Our time in the wilderness, so to speak, has taken a bit more out of me than I’d first thought. What I’d assumed was just my IBS trying to readjust to things, has become something else. Now, it’s possibly just my ability to handle my health on my own any longer, which is where the emotional turmoil is coming from. I went down this route before and it didn’t end well… hence, the last 4 years of self-care. It hasn’t helped that nobody seems that concerned about my survival aside from God and my husband.

That is until this new doctor!

Not only did she surprise me with prayer during our first visit, but I think she actually listened to the words I spoke… I mean really heard me! And, she took the time to follow all of my test results, adjusting and selecting my meds and treatment. The downside to this new kind of medical care is that I can’t get away with anything. This means taking medications that are no longer an option… they are required! The first is a medication for my Cholesterol, which is off the charts, and has been for years. It doesn’t even matter if I eat like a bird… oh yeah, I already do! No change! The other is for my blood pressure, as it has gone off the reservation and it won’t come back down. That too has been something I was withholding from the doctor… that is, until recently.

In the last month my health has been systematically shutting down, in areas that I really kind of need. Well, I’ll need em if I’m to bring these stories to the little ones they’re meant for, ya know?! Little ones aside, I’m not done baking cookies… not in the slightest!

I’ve been writing on this blog steadily for nearly three years of this journey through the wilderness, and I’m not about to get to the gates of the Cities of Men, just to drop dead of exhaustion… and I don’t believe it’s God’s plan for me, either! I still believe that God led me to WordPress so that I could find you… each and every one of you!

Why?

Honestly, the answer will be different for each of you, as we’ve all grown closer together in different ways, and for different reasons. I know some of you better than others, but care for each and every soul that enters this lobby! I love you with the love of my God, my Savior, and the Holy Spirit that dwells in this vessel. Why else do you think I share so much with you, try to make you laugh, seek to make you think, and challenge you to eat my cookies? It’s love…

I know that most of my subscribers are adults, though I often write of adventures requiring you to find your inner child… so why do I do it?

Why don’t I write deep and passionate poetry?

Why not great theological teachings that might impress?

Why on earth do I always make you leave reality and push the boundaries of truth and/or fiction?

What’s in those cookies I feed you guys, anyways?

Some of you may think that I’m just a Jesus Freak that’s trying to shove God flavored cookies down your throats… well, ok, you got me there!

Some of you may think that I’m an oversharer lookin for sympathy andl/or attention. In truth… if that’s all you’ve seen then you should start reading between all those lines, friends. There’s so much more there…

Face it guys and gals, WordPress has become my family! With that being said and understood clearly, here, right now, it’s time we all start acting like it! I’ve been asking myself, of late, why I haven’t wanted to write for my family? Honestly, sometimes it feels like if I don’t give you something juicy and exciting (usually my journey junk)… I get nothin!

Now, before you start thinking that this is going to be another one of those articles complaining about a lack of likes, shares, and follows… stop it!

You come to this table as a family member… not a subscriber or follower, savvy?!

As a family, we are having a discussion about family dynamics, if that’s alright with everyone at the table. Do family members take the time to call or write each other, or do they just mail each other a gold star? As I’m just as guilty as you are, in this respect, let’s start making some healthy changes, here in the lobby. If you are busy, or not in the mood, don’t feel pressured to visit or leave me that gold star. It’s not like I get any money for it… it simply lets me know that you stopped by. If you do stop in and read, possibly grabbing a cookie, try leaving me a message, as well. Here’s the crazy part… your comment doesn’t have to have ANYTHING to do with what I wrote. Instead, try things like, “Hey, how are you?” or “I saw something the other day that made me think of you”. One of you actually wrote this to me, not too long ago… thank you, love.

There is nothing in the WordPress bylaws that states we cannot simply use the comment button to simply communicate with each other… you know, like friends and family should. Notice how I said should? Sadly, I realize that there are families that don’t do this… but honestly, it’s so very important! How else do you give love to those nearest your heart?

So, in the spirit of positivity, I am going to begin sending you messages in your comment box that may or may not have anything to do with what you wrote… ok?

No, I’m not going to try passing phone numbers or hookin up, if you get my meaning, here! I think that so often, we simply want to know that we’ve been seen, that someone noticed our passing.

If we all began seeking to give love to another, rather than seeking to receive for ourselves, wouldn’t we all become filled with needed love simply by proxy? Kind of like a happy accident or positive side effect?

Well, it can’t hurt to try, right?!

Take your pick…

Wiwohka4 Comments

Daily writing prompt
If humans had taglines, what would yours be?
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When I first saw this mornings prompt I thought it was going to be a walk in the park. However, once I sat down to answer the question it became clear that it wasn’t going to be such a simple task.

You see, I don’t really know what I would give as my tagline. At first, I was going to come up with a snappy add-on to Wiwohka, but it became apparent that what I came up with wasn’t a tagline, at all! All I was getting accomplished was to give myself a rhyming last name… not what I think that the prompt was asking us. So, I did a quick check on Google for a clear definition of what a tagline actually looks like.

After looking at the examples of some taglines, I again tried to select an appropriate phrase that captures what others might think of when they hear the name Wiwohka. I’ve now sat in this chair for over an hour, going back and forth on several different ideas. Who’d of thought a WordPress prompt would cause such an uproar?

I tell stories, I bake virtual cookies, I overshare my personal business far too often, and I’m quick to talk about Jesus or the bible or God’s forgiveness or love or grace or mercy. According to the definition of tagline, the answer to the prompt shouldn’t be more than two or three words… huh? That’s entirely unfair, I think. Are they really asking me, the oversharing, novel length explanation giver, to choose only two or three words to describe myself… sheesh!

Ok, fine! Let’s give this a try…

I’m going to settle on something simple like, oh, I don’t know,

Journey With Me

Don’t forget your cookie..

Who’s asking?

Wiwohka6 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
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I think we’re all grown up enough to admit that our answer could and would change, depending on the one asking this kind of question. Say for instance that you’re in the middle of a job interview when this question pops up… maybe not the moment to share the love of Jesus. Or maybe it is!

Why can’t I say what’s in my heart, whether I’m at church, in an interview, or at a gathering of complete strangers? My desire is to have the boldness of Christ, no matter what my circumstance! No fear, no shame, nor arrogance. I wish to bear only truth and love, which are THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS NEEDED TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE!

I’ve a quick little story to tell you that is both funny, and a great example of both the truth/love part, and the boldness of Christ that I mentioned…

I’ve been having a bit of issue with my health, of late, probably due to the environment we’d been surviving in for so long. Unfortunately, I’m not bouncing back as quickly as I’d hoped. Anyway, I went in for some tests and things the other day. My dutiful and doting husband was by my side, as per usual. The wait wasn’t very long before they called my name and we followed the nurse down the hallway toward the exam room. As they normally do at the beginning of a visit, the nurse asked me to stand on the weigh scale. When I stepped onto the scale it climbed all the way up to 203lbs… no joke! I stood there for a second, just staring at the number… how could that be right? Retaining my peaceful, child of God attitude, I acted as if I’d always weighed that much… but I was totally shocked, and rather dismayed! Had I really gotten that far without realizing it?

Just as I stepped backward off the scale, I hear my husband say to the nurse, “Please don’t write that number down… I had my foot on the scale while you weighed her.” No Joke!

Now, I suppose that I could have gotten angry, but as I’m fully aware of my partners shenanigan’s, I know that he loves me to the moon and back… and, I was so grateful that I wasn’t that heavy, allowed me to burst out laughing at his antics! There are no lies between us, we both have heartaches, hurts, and both share bad memories filled with the lies of others. This is the part to explain my answer about Truth and Love, but the next part brought about my thoughts on the boldness of Christ.

Once my doctor had completed the exam, asked all of her questions, and discussed what we needed to do going forward, she did something quite unexpected. She looked me straight in the face and asked, “Can I pray for you? You may say no, if you aren’t comfortable.”

Oh, My, Goodness! What are the odds of little ole me getting a physician that prays to the Ultimate Healer… Praise God! Hallelujah! Having someone actually take my hand in a doctor’s office, of all places, and pray for my needs?

Wow! I want that sort of boldness, day and night, winter spring summer or fall, and in good times or bad. I’m fairly certain that it was that woman’s faith in God and His love working through her, enabling her to speak out with such boldness. This is all just my impression about things, of course.

Now, maybe this story will help you understand my answer for the prompt, maybe not. But, I do still think it was worth the telling… just sayin!

Here, have a cookie..

Walking by faith…

Wiwohka4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What fears have you overcome and how?
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It seems like wherever we look these days, there are plenty of things to fill us with fear. Wars, famine, worldwide environmental changes, and constant political battles that carry unavoidable fallout!

My point here, is not to cause you more fear or discomfort than the prompt has already done, but to reflect on how easy it can be for one to choose a fear to write about, talk about, or simply obsess over.

Forget that! I don’t know about anybody else, but I have a whole lot of other things to put my energies toward… other than to sit and think about things I have no control over. Fear is a nasty beast to battle with and trust me, I’ve had some real doozies!

Honestly, I quite trying to use my own strength to fight my fears, and instead, began walking by the strength of another… One much stronger than I!

For some, trusting in another can bring any number of fears to the table. This world is filled with dangers, pitfalls, and paths we wish we didn’t have to travel along. One life, one chance to walk through it, and with no guarantees! It’s like a recipe for disaster just waiting to be created, right?!

I don’t know about any of you but I don’t plan on spending my remaining years hiding in fear over things… no thanks! Besides, I can’t begin to recount all of the times that I showed up to a fight with faith on my side, only to find out that fear was nothing more than a bully… and never even showed up to the battle… what a coward!

From the place in life that I’m currently at, I’ve come to adopt an old fashioned saying,

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. we have only today, let us begin.” Mother Teresa

I can learn from what has come from my yesterdays but I cannot undo them…

I can think on tomorrow, plan for tomorrow, and expect for tomorrow, but it isn’t here yet. No amount of fear about any of the possible outcomes will do me any good, really. Yes, fear can have it’s place in keeping us from common dangers, accidents, and/or hairbrained ideas about drinking the acid out of a car battery… just sayin! I think today’s prompt is referring to obsessing about something that frightens us, whether it’s founded or unfounded. At least that’s my understanding, but I could be wrong.

Whatever your fear might be, everyone has to choose a method for dealing with, overcoming, and letting go of that which does not bear good fruit. Personally, I have chosen to walk by faith in God. That’s how I choose to live!

No, I haven’t come to a magical place where I don’t experience fears or doubts, just in case you were at all wondering. I’ve just been working towards giving my fears to God, trusting that I am in his capable hands. The giving of those fears is the easy part. The part that’s not so easy? Well, that would be NOT taking them back just to worry over them some more… I fall for that more times than I care to admit!

I guess that’s why I say that it’s a walk of faith… a walk, a journey, or lifelong adventure, if that sounds better. We all know that Life changes, and our fears will change from one day to the next. Success is determined, not by the obstacles one encounters along the way, but by the way in which one overcomes said obstacles!

Overcomer is a powerful word! The actual definition on Google is as follows,

someone who prevails despite facing opposition, difficulties, or weakness. Essentially, it’s a person who successfully overcomes challenges and emerges victorious. This can be seen in various contexts, including personal struggles, spiritual battles, and overcoming societal obstacles

I went a bit further and looked up what scripture says, according to Google:

In the Bible, an “overcomer” refers to a believer who, through faith and perseverance, successfully withstands trials and temptations, ultimately achieving victory. This victory is not just a one-time event, but a continuous process of resisting the world’s influence and living a life aligned with God’s will. 

As everyone knows, you should not only cite your sources but also check at least three differing sources for comparison, confirmation, and clarification… so I did just that!

Above, there are two offered from the internet, and below is from my own bible. I use an NIV translation but you can use any you wish. There are a number of references in scripture using this word but my favorite is in the book of John:

“In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

I shall do just that! I will walk by faith in the words spoken by my lord, so long ago!

Cookies?

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka12 Comments

Have you ever wanted something so much that you can’t stop thinking about it? It consumes your thoughts, your dreams, and gives you a motivation that you didn’t know you had. You scrimp and save, make numerous sacrifices to afford the time, money, and anything else required to prepare for said thing. It might be anything from a vacation, a new car, or even a baby!

Unless you are very wealthy and/or were born with a big ENTITLED badge sewn on the left cheek your bum… there’s usually a vast distance from start to finish! I think sometimes we watch too much television, where they make it look like a walk in the park to become ALL THAT!

The last time I checked, there weren’t any badges on my bum nor do I carry a purse full of cash, so I’m looking across a vast canyon that’s deep and wide. In our particular situation, it’s somewhat like looking up from a very deep well. There’s a sensation of being slowly pulled upward, while sitting in a bucket that’s still half full of murky water.

Discovering such a great distance between that first rescue bucket and the really solid dry land needed has been a bit of a shock. Truly, it was ignorant of me to assume that we could get from homeless to successful overnight, just because we have keys to an apartment. When they hand you that so-called GOLDEN TICKET… you’re on your own!

When we were circling the drain, all I could think about was getting my books published and quickly leaving all the bad memories behind. Pipe dreams, I know, but it helped. Not only is it NOT so easy, but now that I’m here in this moment, I’m not even sure if it’s in God’s purpose… at least, not right now!

The program we are in does NOT allow for my husband or I to make any money while he is going to school. If any money is made, we stand to lose much or all of our housing money. No one tells you what to do for any actual dollars needed for things, outside of food stamps that only cover food. It makes me wonder how many people fail to ever recover, due to this little flaw in the system. We’ve actually found just about every flaw, crack, or hole in the system to fall into, which is why it took us nearly two years to get housing (the last six months was the homeless, homeless part.

In the end, I don’t care what president holds office… the system just needs to be fixed… for the people! That’s us, the feet on the ground, the workers, the farmers, the builders, the caregivers… the human souls that keep this country afloat with our hard work, our bloody and dirty hands, and our truly beautiful hearts!

This is the very reason that I rely on GOD alone, above any and all government! The only reason we are here, in this very apartment, had God stamped all over it! No government policy or case worker made that one person change their heart and allow us in… that was GOD!

With that being said, I still find myself wondering what now? Why did God put us here, and what is the next step? What if I step out in faith and start throwing manuscripts out there, only to find that I was the only one who believed in their value, you know? Yep! This loudmouthed frog, Chatty Cathy, Wiwohka Wonka, and redeemed woman of faith has doubt, just like everybody else. My journey toward eternity is just that… a journey! It’s how I intend to get there that will count. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to see God as our father. He faithfully carries us through our entire life, teaching and loving us through good, bad, right, wrong, darkness, and light.

It doesn’t matter if my steps go off track, if my faith is weak, or if I simply feel unsure about my next choice…

GOD IS WITH US!

GOD IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, FAITHFUL!

GOD WILL ALWAYS LIGHT THE WAY FOR US!

It’s not about whether our choices are the right ones, the wrong ones, or even the refusal to decide… it’s about looking up, getting up, and continuing forward in faith, hope and love!

If I’m to be fully honest about why any of this is even being written down and shared with others, it’s to remind myself!

Thanks for listening… hugs

Monday Musings…

Wiwohka5 Comments

As I sit staring at my screen, the desire to offer up a list of my usual Monday Messages is there, but beyond that? Well,I got nuthin.. nada!

Thankfully, the daily prompt kicked me in the bloomers, what with the whole productivity thing.

Fortunately, we’re settling into our apartment nicely, after such a long time in the wilderness, so to speak. One would thing that I’d have a list that’s longer than my arm of all the things I can, and probably should be doing now. I do… but it makes my stomach hurt when I begin reading it.

Perhaps it would have been better to keep a shorter list. Maybe I should have made a rolodex of things during our ordeal, so that my thoughts would be more organized now. I didn’t! Does anybody do that when they’re in the middle of lifechanging events? Unless one is naturally OCD, I highly doubt many would keep such lists.

Besides, once we get to the other side of something difficult, the list wouldn’t really help us as much as one would think. You’re far different than you were before it began, so the list isn’t for you anymore… it was for the person you used to be.

So, now what do I do? No list! No DIY how-to video is going help! Ya, ya, ya… I can easily slip back into the rhythm of a clean house, cooking, baking, and errands, no problem. But, beyond those things, I guess I feel sort of lost at sea, so to speak!

When I saw this mornings prompt it made me laugh. I laughed because the answer I’d been searching for has been staring me right in the face, all along. Just last night I prayed that God would give me a purpose!

It took so long to get here, I truly don’t have a clue what I should be doing now! Sure, I could write the second volume of my fiction series, but haven’t yet started. I aught to do more with all of my little Barnyard shorts, but as most of you are full grown adults, it’s not really meant for WordPress anymore. That would mean going to YouTube with all the babes, but I’d be doing it by myself… alone. I want to write, not produce… I’m a storyteller, not a publisher! Besides, at the end of the day, is it what God desires?

I’m not saying that God is disapproving of anything I write, but am I putting it before His purpose for my life? I can still write stories, as I’m confident that God blesses the work of my hands. My dilemma is that right now, I can’t tell what I should be doing, which is making me feel very nonproductive in every direction.

Don’t worry though, for God has me firmly placed within his hand! In the deepest part of my soul, I hear God remind me that faith calls each of us to walk forward in His calling, even if we don’t know all the details.

Also, I do believe that I’m well established in His purpose, whether I know it or not! Even when I feel lost, or adrift within His purpose… He promises me that I’m in it!

While I may currently be at the don’t have any details part of my journey, I walk in faith, believing that when God asks a thing of me… He always, always, always provides what is needed to be of service!

Til I know more of what God desires for my path, I’m gonna just wing it with the writing. If I write too much about all the babes, the barnyard, or high seas adventures, so be it!

Besides, when have I ever done anything plain or ordinary? That would be boring…

Sunday’s Coming…

Wiwohka4 Comments

While I realize that it’s only Friday, it’s not just any Friday, is it? This happens to be Easter weekend, as I’m sure you already knew. I can’t help but get excited, bursting with unashamed words of praise, honor, and worship for my King, my God and Creator. Why? Because I know that Sunday’s coming!

Not just any Sunday, as you well know. It’s Easter Sunday!

*Disclaimer* I will proclaim my belief in a single God, One Son, and an act of such utter love and sacrifice that cannot be denied! Whether you believe in God or not, does not diminish His belief in you, nor lessen His love for you!

Praise be to the King of Kings!

Promises were fulfilled!

Death was defeated!

The temple veil has forever been torn!

We are free to come before God, himself, the very creator of the world, without fear or shame… Because God made it so, by sending Jesus Christ to walk this earth, without a single stain or blemish of sin… utterly perfect! Yet, he willingly sacrificed his own life on the cross, for doing absolutely nothing wrong… nothing! That sacrifice fulfilled prophesy of a covenant, a promise given us, by God.

This sacrifice defeated Satan, broke through all judgement of sin, and opened a bridge between us and our creator… a doorway, if you will.

Now, when I come before the throne of God, I’m washed in the blood of His one and only son, Jesus Christ! All the stain of my sin and shame are erased, and not just erased… replaced! Replaced with God’s very own Holy Spirit, which dwells in me now, today.

I plan on celebrating all weekend, and I pray God’s blessings on each and every soul that visits this lobby. May you also have a truly blessed Easter!

Again, I know that it’s only Friday… but Sunday is coming!

When God Moves…

Wiwohka21 Comments

We have keys!!!

If ever this were to be considered a mountain… well, God moved it!

We do not know why, but for whatever their reason, the owners of the property chose to come back to the table and change their first decision. Basically, they completely changed their mind and lowered the cost of the apartment in order to get us approved… not kidding!

It’s small, but absolutely adorable… and clean!

Everything is new, and bright, and warm, and just perfect perfect perfect!!!

Sure, it’s empty now, but let me tell you… when the bible says that God will restore all that the enemy has stolen, I am watching such miracles unfold right before my eyes!

Some very generous donations have already arrived from God, through the many different organizations that have been with us throughout all this… I swear, I think they’re more excited than we are about things finally coming together. They’ve already ordered us a new bed, a vacuum cleaner, and a boatload of bathroom and cleaning supplies, so that should arrive at the new address within another day or so…

I’m in love with the whole color scheme that was chosen for this layout. Now we just have to wait for the mail to catch up with is… lol.

Oh, and we have to go to the V.A. this afternoon to pick up a furniture voucher, gift cards for things like dishes and cooking supplies. Honestly, I am still a bit numb about all this, as if I expect I might wake from such a dream, you know…

Oh, by the way, right in the middle of all of this going on, I got a phone call from my middle daughter… I’m gonna be a Meemaw again… AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Don’t babies just make everything better… oh, and cookies.. cookies make everything better, too. I have to tell you something funny in all this. After loosing pretty much all that we owned, down to the point of wearing the same outfit for the last three and a half weeks, I managed to save two items… my KitchenAid mixer and my Cuisinart, no joke! I have a mountain of cookies to bake, lol! My hubby tested the oven straight away… it’s like he knows me, or something…

And, guess what? Both my little plants have survived, thus far. I promised them both that they’d be getting new pots and soil when we get them moved in… they’ve earned them!

I know that this must have been awful for you all, having to watch helplessly as we went through this desert, but I could NOT have done this without your love, your faithful prayers, and your constant encouragement!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

I am so very richly blessed!

This chapter in my journey has closed, so let us move forward to see what God has in store four the future…

If I were to say anything of value, regarding what we just endured, I would say this… God has profoundly changed this wild and angry child, carefully molding her into that which is beautiful in His eyes.

It is indescribably here, resting beneath the shadow of my Father. From here, I can see for endless miles into the future… no, I haven’t reached some weird plane of visions, so don’t start freaking out on me. What I mean is that it’s not dark any longer, as it had been for so much of this process. Oh, I still can’t see the specifics of what will come… but it’s bright here, wherever I look… I might be wrong, but I think that it’s joy, or maybe hope, but it could also be the source of all those prayers everyone has been shouting to the heavens, on my behalf.

I think it might just be all of the above!

How will I…

Wiwohka3 Comments

The question isn’t why… it isn’t when, who or even where. I’ve been thinking on this, of late. Whenever a person goes through troubled waters, so to speak, a great many of those questions occupy their mind. Unfortunately, those questions don’t often see a viable answer.

Sometimes, maybe the real useful question to ask is “How?” I realize that it’s a rather unusual one word question, but if you think about it, all the other questions were also one word queries.

Since I tend to spend most of my time on the water, with a good many stretches of rough rapids and storms, I finally got sick of all the other questions, as they never really do me any good until after the fact.

This time… I’m finding a breakthrough!

This time… How?

How will I hold?

How will I rest?

How will I stand?

How will I exercise my faith?

How will I use all that truth I’ve been reading about?

How will I reflect my trust in God?

How will I express all the peace, hope, love, faith, forgiveness and generosity of heart that he has been creating within me?

How will I bend the knee?

How will I lay before the throne?

The One I believe in has been working on my behalf from the beginning, so it’s not a question of when, where, who, or why for me any longer, but how…

To answer the how,

I will hold with grace…

I will rest in complete peace…

I will stand tall…

I will share my faith with you, by speaking of all my journey, whether it is calm, harsh, beautiful, or painfully ugly…

That’s the only way that I can reflect my trust in Him…

My stories and journal entries are how I express all the good fruits that He produces within my heart for you…

I will bend the knee to the God of ages, surrendering to His rule and authority over my life, no matter where I must go, what I must endure for however long I must endure it, and regardless of why!

How?

How can I think this way, say these things, and actually stand in the face of this overwhelming mountain? I’ll tell you how…

The power of surrender, that’s how!

All that my Creator asks of me is surrender to his will, plan and purpose… and I show my obedience and complete surrender in all those HOWS… just sayin!

When you are in the darkest moments of your journey, remember…

Hold, have peace, stand tall, speak only that which is good, edifying and hopeful, trust in the one who gave you life, and no matter what, always remember that your stories are important to others… you are important! Life’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, so we have to choose who we want to be as we get through it… or better yet, how we want to get through it!

My name is Wiwohka for a reason…

Wiwohka5 Comments

I may not be meant for friendship, I may not be meant for family, but when I pass by, I will leave my mark on you

For some it will be good, for some bad… but you WILL know that I have been there

If God is for me… I don’t care what you think of me

When I said that I would stand on my faith in God all the way to the end… I meant it! It’s easy to spout scripture from a pulpit, claim God’s miraculous power from your armchair, and wax poetic about a spirit filled life from a hot tub, but try doin it from the gates of hell… I dare you!

When you finally pass beyond the words shooting out of your mouth, the singing of heavenly hymns, and dancing for Jesus in front of the masses, you get to the plane of daily existence in the presence of the almighty God of ages… yeah, Him! You wait for your daily bread from meal to meal, you listen for his voice in the utter silence of abandonment. When you can look only to Him for each and every breath that you need to live, it is oddly peaceful.

Jesus sits with me through the endless hours of waiting, the closed doors and dead ends… its rather ugly right now, with no joyful or praiseworthy news to regale you with, or pretty cookies to hand out. These waters are pretty rough and roaring just now, so it has taken all I have to write anything at all. Boy, it’s harder than I thought it would be to write down my feelings without saying some rather nasty and lethal remarks about things… sheesh!

Yes, it’s really bad right now, and no, I’m not going to speak on it… at least not til we’re beyond this part of the journey. The actual fight for survival puts one in a compromised emotional state, bringing out responses that you never knew you were capable of… so it’s best not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, trust me! You know why? Not so much to be nice to the folks hurting you, but to act honorably before God… to please Him and Him alone!

I could disappear today without a trace, leaving you to wonder where I went for a day or so, but you’d move on soon, as I’m nothing more than an entry in an online journal that anyone can read…

… but to God, I am someone specific, like no other on this planet, someone very special and sought after… He foreknew of my birth, my life, my failures, my successes, my wrongs, my rights… I am perfect in my imperfection, beautiful in my brokenness, wanted, cherished, and never ever forgotten or rejected for being who I am…

I am Wiwohka, with a heart that rushes, rages, and powerfully flows toward the home that awaits me… this world is NOT my home, but I will walk through it with as much grace as I can muster… to put a smile on my heavenly father’s face… to make my Creator proud of the work that He has, and is doing in my life… that is enough!

This site is most likely going to go down, as things are financially at the end for this leg of my journey, but don’t lose hope because God is leading me somewhere so that’s not a bad thing. There are a number of books still to be written… even if God is the only one to ever read them.