Maria VonTrapp had to write her list down and sing about it, in order for us to remember her favorite things.
Oh yeah, WordPress! Well, the hills are alive too, but I’m still not singing about it! Not on your life!
In respect to answering a prompt without irritation, animosity or rude words that reflect my attitude about this third grade level question…
I made you 30 cookies!
Now, I’m certain that you were expecting wax poetic over my prayer life, studying the word of God, and/or the incredible love of Jesus Christ… but, I think I do that already. This morning, I opted for something different!
So, in all seriousness, when IBS decided to have a field day with me nearly two months ago… oatmeal has been my life’s blood!
After things were said and done, they kind of just sent me home with a sack of medications. Apparently, I would be on my own from that point, as they didn’t seem bothered by the results from my two procedures. That’s the beauty of IBS… it won’t kill me, but it will never go away.
I had to start at the bottom of my health pile, sifting through every single detail of my own body’s struggle with foods, stress, trauma, poverty, and circumstantial solitude. I shall have to walk this path alone, as far as doctors are concerned. I’ve come to peace with the 4 medications I’ll be taking from now on, as none of them effect the brain. My spirit and emotional health belong to God, and him alone.
This is where my joy of oatmeal arrives… it’s the single thing to eat each day that doesn’t hurt! Even with the removal of caffeine, gluten, and lactose products, I’m still far from home on the IBS Safari Tours!
I’ve adopted an intermittent fasting lifestyle, somewhat. Though the schedule allows for me to consume calories for up to an 8 hour stretch, my body only seems to be happy with eating between noon and 5 o’clock. Part of the issue comes from all the medications I use throughout the day to coat my stomach and intestines. I have to take them 4 times a day in order to eat, and there’s time restrictions for before and after each dose. 5 hours is easier to work with, truth be told.
Why is 5 hours easier, you ask? Because, my roommate IBS tends to lose all trust in my ability to feed myself when she gets upset… always has and always will! No matter how my mind copes with stress and trauma, IBS will always have her day in court, so to speak.
Thankfully, she readily accepts the oatmeal with a tablespoon of brown sugar and a bit of Oat Milk. Work with what you got… and I got oatmeal, baby!
Cookies?
Do we, or do we not, write out all of our thoughts, feelings, desires and dreams here on WordPress every single day? Perhaps I’ve overthought this but come on, really?
Are you telling me that after 8 years of writing to you about my journey, you wouldn’t recognize me if you met me in person?
Well, if I’ve been lax in really, really describing myself to everyone in Big As Life style… count yourself lucky!
And, don’t forget your cookie…
Let’s see…
I woke up, got out of bed, and started heating water for my morning tea.
I took meds for my stomach, climbed into the shower, and proceeded to cry my eyes out in prayer for about 20 minutes.
Spent time in the word while drinking my peppermint tea, still crying.
After a time, the crying subsided, to be replaced with a comforting peace.
My daughter texted me last night to say that she’d be getting married in several weeks and that her father and his wife would be with them. She offered for us to go and get our nails done or something, just she and I.
I try not to think about how much it hurt when she asked me if I would babysit her dogs when she goes into labor.
I haven’t said anything to my kids about my hospital visit, nor my other procedures. None of them know that the suburban and all our things are gone. None of them know that the Edge was towed and then taken from us, as we had no money to pay for the tow. I’ve said nothing about our having not a dime to our name, nor the gas to even drive the one truck over to visit. None of them have come to see the apartment. I am relieved that they don’t, truth be told. We’ve still no clothes, no cleaning supplies, toiletries… basically, anything that food stamps won’t cover, we don’t buy.
I don’t say anything, because they prefer it that way! Everyone prefers it that way! Nobody really wants to watch the car wreck that I call my life, longer than they have to… everyone has life problems, I was told, so it’s not always about me!
It’s only 9:43 in the morning so there’s not much else to write about whether or not my day was typical… I got hours left!
But ya, it’ll probably be typical… it has been, thus far!
Cookie?
If we look at all the different descriptors of glass, they all seem to fit with my character or personality, if you will.
Just like glass, I have the ability to protect or harm, help or hinder, and can be a 100% water resistant. If you think about it for a moment, it kind of makes sense.
For example, if one fills a glass bottle with air, it becomes unsinkable…
But, filling it with liquid causes the bottle to drop into the depths!
Glass can protect that which is within it, or drown it beneath the waves.
While others may not see it, I am not strong, at all! I suppose if glass had feelings, it might reflect that it can be strong if used properly. However, if one mishandles it, glass can shatter into a myriad of tiny pieces with only a pebble.
Cookie?
As we all know, I don’t do well with short answers… in honesty, they are no fun!
My memory pulls me back to my childhood, to a time when my Nana was alive. Nana was the only one to ever call me Antonia, most likely in protest over my parents laziness when I was born a girl. They expected a boy when they chose Toni Rae, but got me instead, and just stuck with the same name. But alas, this memory is too far back, nor was that name technically a nickname, so I will move ahead in time…
My children were sleeping, as well as my ex husband, so what does an overworked and underpaid mom do for fun, I took it upon myself to have a couple glasses of wine. The house was quiet, and I had the office to myself, so off I went to the World Wide Web. Alcohol does funny things to a person…
There I was, at two in the morning, heavily under the influence… don’t judge… Alcohol gives confidence and courage, but not always wise choices, so consider us all lucky that this is the only thing I got up to in the middle of the night!
So anyway, as I was perusing the internet, I came up with this hairbrained idea, to find a really cool game handle. I loved video games, especially the mmorpg ones, and everyone had awesome names for their in-game characters, or toons. I was in search of The One, if you will, game name wise…
Stumbling upon those name generating search engines, I began to look for a Native American word or name, that I could assign myself since nobody else ever wanted to do. Yes I think I am maybe Native American, and no, I did not make any valid name choice for this girl from the wilderness. Remember, wine was involved, so I make no valid claim to the name I settled on. I finally found a site that was pretty cool, in that it gave really decent explanations for the meaning and spelling/pronunciation. I came to this…
WIWOHKA – roaring, raging water…
In honesty, I cannot remember the rest of the definition, and highly doubt that it would do me any good now. For whatever the reason, the name stuck, and I have used it now for over 20 years…
Funny thing, my husband and I looked the name up once, and aside from the definition not being there anymore, we did discover a long lost Indian Tribe located somewhere near the great lakes, and they were called the Wiwohka Tribe… I can aspire!
Don’t pop my bubble by saying I am full of it… I know that I am, but where is the fun in having a really cool nickname, if there was not an amazing story behind it… I am proud of my name, even it only means that I talk a lot, and am such a cry baby that everybody gets wet when I am around! At least, maybe, you will remember me from either laughing or crying…
Here is your cookie…
P.S. Please share…
I’ve come to discover, in my older years, how the health and medical systems function… if you don’t have a hole in you somewhere that isn’t fixed with duct tape, don’t bother asking a doctor! All they seem to be capable of doing these days is either sewing things shut, or stuffing pills in your face!
I am exhausted with doctors telling me they see a problem… but it’s just not bad enough to fix… yet! They want me to just wait it out, I guess.
This last 8 weeks have been somewhat of a nightmare for me, if I’m to be fully honest everyone. Not only did my stomach decide to camp with the enemy, but I had to suffer the indignity of both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and a CAT scan, along with existing off of oatmeal and rice the entire time. What did they discover, you might be asking? With very little concern from the doctor, he found lesions on my liver, a small hernia below my esophagus and a few other apparently insignificant findings.
Here I sit, a week out from the last two procedures, in the same place I’d been in when I sought help in the first place! Just a large amount of shoulder shrugs… thank you so much for all the probing, sticking, and false empathy… makes me want to throw up in my mouth just a bit!
So, with that, I’m back to my DIY, FIY, and LGALG routine… I dare you to try and figure out the last set of initials stand for!
Basically, I’ve had to become what I dub as a slutty vegan! I’ve had to come up with my own version of nutrition, as well as, manage my own pain, which kinda sucks if you can’t take any NSAIDs by mouth. Absolutely everything I need for my body has to come from foods, and the list of what I can even tolerate has come to be very limited. This is the slutty vegan part!
I can have herbal tea, I can drink oat milk in small quantities, and I can eat a decent number of raw or frozen vegetables and fruits, as long as I’m careful. Certain things with too much fiber, or sugars in them really causes difficulties.
No more coffee, caffeine of any kind, chocolate, gluten, lactose, and a sleugh of other items that I’m to tired to list!
Pretty much everything has to be plant based, yay me! I can tolerate a little bit of egg, and chicken doesn’t bother me so this is my slutty compromise to this ridiculous food circus merry-go-round!
You can’t blame me for the overshare bit! Blame WordPress for asking me such a question. They’re just lucky they didn’t lose a finger or something.
Everyone knows not to poke a hungry bear…
Well, you better start eating this stuff cause I can’t, and I’m getting hungry just looking at it!
I’m makin cookies for my WordPress family, at this virtual moment, but as far as future, future plans… I’m heaven bound, my friends!
Cookies?
Thus far, the only thing that credit cards have ever done for modern society is rob us of the value of a dollar! It appears to me that much of today’s modern folk have no clue about how to properly manage their money.
We are shown from the time we’re young that to have things, one must have money. But we don’t reach for money anymore, do we? We just get a credit card and charge it! If you want good credit for buying houses or cars, you need to spend, but to spend you will need money. But, you’ve gone to the credit card because you don’t have money to spend. Are you following me? All we’ve managed to do is become bound to monetary obligations that we’ve no way to fully pay back. But we sure do tell ourselves that if we consolidate all these cards into one new one, with a lower interest rate, things will be fine, right?!
I’m not even going to speculate as to how many of us say that we will use the card during the month, but pay it off before the interest charges hit. Most never do! The card balance just begins to grow steadily, with each passing month.
Currently, our modern society is teeming with homes that are valued idiotically higher than they are actually worth… and you’ll need a bank loan… and good credit… and no outstanding credit card bills… what a farce! It’s a tangle of lies wound together into a nice neat little package, just for you and me, baby!
Gone are the days where a man was as good as his word, to be replaced with days of spend it if you got it… or even if you don’t… just charge it!
Cookie?
You’d be surprised how much they talk!
Cookie?
Journey With Me! 