Now, I’m certain that you were expecting wax poetic over my prayer life, studying the word of God, and/or the incredible love of Jesus Christ… but, I think I do that already. This morning, I opted for something different!
So, in all seriousness, when IBS decided to have a field day with me nearly two months ago… oatmeal has been my life’s blood!
After things were said and done, they kind of just sent me home with a sack of medications. Apparently, I would be on my own from that point, as they didn’t seem bothered by the results from my two procedures. That’s the beauty of IBS… it won’t kill me, but it will never go away.
I had to start at the bottom of my health pile, sifting through every single detail of my own body’s struggle with foods, stress, trauma, poverty, and circumstantial solitude. I shall have to walk this path alone, as far as doctors are concerned. I’ve come to peace with the 4 medications I’ll be taking from now on, as none of them effect the brain. My spirit and emotional health belong to God, and him alone.
This is where my joy of oatmeal arrives… it’s the single thing to eat each day that doesn’t hurt! Even with the removal of caffeine, gluten, and lactose products, I’m still far from home on the IBS Safari Tours!
I’ve adopted an intermittent fasting lifestyle, somewhat. Though the schedule allows for me to consume calories for up to an 8 hour stretch, my body only seems to be happy with eating between noon and 5 o’clock. Part of the issue comes from all the medications I use throughout the day to coat my stomach and intestines. I have to take them 4 times a day in order to eat, and there’s time restrictions for before and after each dose. 5 hours is easier to work with, truth be told.
Why is 5 hours easier, you ask? Because, my roommate IBS tends to lose all trust in my ability to feed myself when she gets upset… always has and always will! No matter how my mind copes with stress and trauma, IBS will always have her day in court, so to speak.
Thankfully, she readily accepts the oatmeal with a tablespoon of brown sugar and a bit of Oat Milk. Work with what you got… and I got oatmeal, baby!
Do we, or do we not, write out all of our thoughts, feelings, desires and dreams here on WordPress every single day? Perhaps I’ve overthought this but come on, really?
Are you telling me that after 8 years of writing to you about my journey, you wouldn’t recognize me if you met me in person?
Well, if I’ve been lax in really, really describing myself to everyone in Big As Life style… count yourself lucky!
As you know, Brutus had flown back to the barn with the little ones during our ship repairs. While there, he gathered a stack of maps I’d inadvertently left behind.
I may have a good memory for a lot of things but I’m not that good!
One of these maps carries the location of a certain missing troll. You remember Peanut, right?
It’s not as easy of a task as one might think, seriously! We need to find the location of a specific river inlet. We’ll need it if we’re to get this ship far enough inland to find the path leading to my grandson’s old house.
It’s wonderful that Brutus retrieved my maps, don’t get me wrong. We certainly need them if we’re to have any success in this venture, but I can’t make heads nor tails of the silly things. If you were at all wondering why maps for sea routes are all a jumble… Pirate’s, duh! When did you ever hear of a sober pirate? Well, besides myself, of course! I’m just crazy!
Of all my hidden talents, reading maps isn’t one of them… don’t judge!
If I’m being fully honest, I assumed that it would be an easy thing to figure out, what with my memory of old trails and waterways I’d once traveled. It’s rather embarrassing to admit that I find my memory of the past beginning to fade a bit, lately. Either we’ve been out to sea for too long, or… perhaps I’m choosing to close certain doors to memories that are connected to sadness… who knows.
What IS important, however, is that Eustace can read them as easily as a children’s book! No joke! He’d come to offer me some fresh tea, and happened to glance down at the map on the table. Leaning in to look more closely, the camel suddenly remarked, “Hey! We’ve been there before, haven’t we?”
In confusion, I replied “I don’t know, have we?” I had no idea what place on the map Eustace was even referring to, nor did any of it look at all familiar to me… not a bit!
Eustace pointed to several of the landmarks, assuring me that it was in fact, the very river that we’d traveled down after leaving my grandson’s house, several years earlier. With the camel’s aid, I was able to plot a usable course.
We were blessed with fair winds, and full sails. We sailed northward along the coast, in search of a rather large inlet that was marked on the map. On the morning of the fourth day, I awoke to a most beautiful view…
We’d reached the inlet before dawn, but everyone was still asleep, other than Brutus and Eustace. Smoothly and quietly, the two were able to guide our ship through the breakwaters without too much difficulty. They told me all about it over our breakfast in the galley.
Apparently, Brutus flew above the ship and scanned for any underwater obstacles that needed avoiding, while Eustace took the dragon’s verbal guidance and steered accordingly. Once within the rivers currents, Brutus used his powerful lungs to blow enough air into our sails to push us upstream. If not for Brutus, we’d be walking all the way on footpaths. There wasn’t any way that our tiny crewmates could paddle hard enough to fight those powerful currents. The ship was just too big and heavy for oars to be of any use.
At the moment, I’ve sent Brutus to scout out the river beyond our view. I thought he should look out for any obstacles in our path, or any dangerous debris floating down the river in our direction.
While the dragon is busy with that, I thought it might be a good idea to wash and refill all of our water barrels, now that we were back in freshwater. The babes chose to gather fresh wood, along with any fresh berries they might discover. I can’t remember when we enjoyed fresh berries, and I highly doubt I’ll be tasting them anytime soon. Never send a hungry baby to pick yummy, sticky, and sweet berries if you actually wanted some! That would just be silly, and very unrewarding. They were having fun, which was the intended outcome. I was free to work without tripping over a little one scuttling about underfoot. Besides, they made enough noise that I knew exactly where they were, at any given moment.
I should correct myself, here. Not all of the babes went off to the woods in search of goodies. Eustace stayed behind to organize all the maps in my cabin, sorting and storing them safely. There were several maps that he wanted to study further, as they were unfamiliar to us. I don’t actually know where I’d found them, originally. Who knows? Perhaps, once we’re done collecting our forgotten troll, Peanut, we’ll already have decided upon our next adventure.
Back to what I was saying about who stayed behind on the ship, there was only one other that stay aboard the Torrent. Osrig refuses to come out from beneath the bed in my cabin. As I’ve been telling you about all the trouble with ship repairs, trips to the barnyard, and map reading… I’ve been trying to help Osrig through some very difficult adjustments. The poor thing has never seen anything beyond the sea, the sands, and the island tropics. He’s terrified of humans, and I’m certain it was for good reasons! When I was bathing him for the first time, there were many scars beneath his fur. The scars were deep and jagged, running across his face and back. They looked to have come from beatings with some form of whip, or cordage.
Quite honestly, I’m surprised that he trusts in me the way he does. The only time he does come out from under the bed is when I enter the cabin. He’ll sleep beside me on the bed during the night, but at first light, always returns to the spot beneath the bed. When the ship had to go ashore for repairs, I had to leave him in the cabin with the door locked. Creed made sure that he was the only one entering and leaving that room, ensuring that Osrig remained undetected.
While it’s great and all that Osrig is good at hiding under beds, it cannot last! I’ve only a short time before we will be traveling by footpaths and deer trails, and if he’s still stuck under my bed I’ll have to leave him behind… and this time I can’t do that! Nobody gets left behind… nobody! For Pete’s sake! That’s what this whole rescue operation, mission thingie, is all about, right?!
Ideas, you guys… pleeeeeeze oh pleeeeeeze! Does anybody have a hack, secret handshake, magic beans, or irresistible Scooby snacks?
I woke up, got out of bed, and started heating water for my morning tea.
I took meds for my stomach, climbed into the shower, and proceeded to cry my eyes out in prayer for about 20 minutes.
Spent time in the word while drinking my peppermint tea, still crying.
After a time, the crying subsided, to be replaced with a comforting peace.
My daughter texted me last night to say that she’d be getting married in several weeks and that her father and his wife would be with them. She offered for us to go and get our nails done or something, just she and I.
I try not to think about how much it hurt when she asked me if I would babysit her dogs when she goes into labor.
I haven’t said anything to my kids about my hospital visit, nor my other procedures. None of them know that the suburban and all our things are gone. None of them know that the Edge was towed and then taken from us, as we had no money to pay for the tow. I’ve said nothing about our having not a dime to our name, nor the gas to even drive the one truck over to visit. None of them have come to see the apartment. I am relieved that they don’t, truth be told. We’ve still no clothes, no cleaning supplies, toiletries… basically, anything that food stamps won’t cover, we don’t buy.
I don’t say anything, because they prefer it that way! Everyone prefers it that way! Nobody really wants to watch the car wreck that I call my life, longer than they have to… everyone has life problems, I was told, so it’s not always about me!
It’s only 9:43 in the morning so there’s not much else to write about whether or not my day was typical… I got hours left!
But ya, it’ll probably be typical… it has been, thus far!
If we look at all the different descriptors of glass, they all seem to fit with my character or personality, if you will.
Just like glass, I have the ability to protect or harm, help or hinder, and can be a 100% water resistant. If you think about it for a moment, it kind of makes sense.
For example, if one fills a glass bottle with air, it becomes unsinkable…
But, filling it with liquid causes the bottle to drop into the depths!
Glass can protect that which is within it, or drown it beneath the waves.
While others may not see it, I am not strong, at all! I suppose if glass had feelings, it might reflect that it can be strong if used properly. However, if one mishandles it, glass can shatter into a myriad of tiny pieces with only a pebble.
Guess what?! The repairs have been completed… all of them! Not only that but Creed made some upgrades and changes to the ship’s overall design, and I think you’ll like them…
Can you believe how many sails she’s got?
Not only did we get bigger and better sails, but that huge beam you see jutting out the front of the ship is much larger than the original. We needed it for the additional sails being added, and I guess it will also help us break through the waves better when we’re under full sail.
I know it might be hard to see him up there, but Squagon’s already claimed the crows nest! He looks so tiny doesn’t he?
Anyways, now that the ship’s had all these upgrades and improvements, it’s a good thing that we named her because she’s a lovely sight…
Problem #1 – where do we put the name? Creed did such beautiful work on the details, I don’t think I want to paint anything on the wood. It’s been weather sealed and then stained such a beautiful rich brown, I don’t have the heart to tarnish it with some gaudy paint job, ya know what I mean? We could put it on the sails somewhere, but I think I’d want to sew it on like a patch or something… the paint will just wash away after the first good storm. Now that I think about it, maybe it’s not such a good idea to put anything on the sails. Whatever we decide on, I think we should put it somewhere on the front, don’t you?
Problem #2 – what materials can we use that won’t wash off, fall off or break, and won’t mar the beauty of the ship’s natural wood? Not long ago, my friend Lou Carver made me a large wooden spoon for our ship’s galley. It’s a beautiful spoon, carefully treated, carved, and then soaked in oils… I am blessed to have it! It’s just lovely!
This gave me an idea! What about something like this…
or…
Granted, these two pictures are just some quick ideas but I think you get the idea. I’ll try to come up with a selection of ideas for you to choose your favorite!
It’s a bit sad, really, because with our departure back out to sea, Creed will be heading back to the barnyard. With college classes keeping him busy, traveling abroad will have to wait. I did take some pictures of him, for framing. Want to see one?
As we all know, I don’t do well with short answers… in honesty, they are no fun!
My memory pulls me back to my childhood, to a time when my Nana was alive. Nana was the only one to ever call me Antonia, most likely in protest over my parents laziness when I was born a girl. They expected a boy when they chose Toni Rae, but got me instead, and just stuck with the same name. But alas, this memory is too far back, nor was that name technically a nickname, so I will move ahead in time…
My children were sleeping, as well as my ex husband, so what does an overworked and underpaid mom do for fun, I took it upon myself to have a couple glasses of wine. The house was quiet, and I had the office to myself, so off I went to the World Wide Web. Alcohol does funny things to a person…
There I was, at two in the morning, heavily under the influence… don’t judge… Alcohol gives confidence and courage, but not always wise choices, so consider us all lucky that this is the only thing I got up to in the middle of the night!
So anyway, as I was perusing the internet, I came up with this hairbrained idea, to find a really cool game handle. I loved video games, especially the mmorpg ones, and everyone had awesome names for their in-game characters, or toons. I was in search of The One, if you will, game name wise…
Stumbling upon those name generating search engines, I began to look for a Native American word or name, that I could assign myself since nobody else ever wanted to do. Yes I think I am maybe Native American, and no, I did not make any valid name choice for this girl from the wilderness. Remember, wine was involved, so I make no valid claim to the name I settled on. I finally found a site that was pretty cool, in that it gave really decent explanations for the meaning and spelling/pronunciation. I came to this…
WIWOHKA – roaring, raging water…
In honesty, I cannot remember the rest of the definition, and highly doubt that it would do me any good now. For whatever the reason, the name stuck, and I have used it now for over 20 years…
Funny thing, my husband and I looked the name up once, and aside from the definition not being there anymore, we did discover a long lost Indian Tribe located somewhere near the great lakes, and they were called the Wiwohka Tribe… I can aspire!
Don’t pop my bubble by saying I am full of it… I know that I am, but where is the fun in having a really cool nickname, if there was not an amazing story behind it… I am proud of my name, even it only means that I talk a lot, and am such a cry baby that everybody gets wet when I am around! At least, maybe, you will remember me from either laughing or crying…
I’ve come to discover, in my older years, how the health and medical systems function… if you don’t have a hole in you somewhere that isn’t fixed with duct tape, don’t bother asking a doctor! All they seem to be capable of doing these days is either sewing things shut, or stuffing pills in your face!
I am exhausted with doctors telling me they see a problem… but it’s just not bad enough to fix… yet! They want me to just wait it out, I guess.
This last 8 weeks have been somewhat of a nightmare for me, if I’m to be fully honest everyone. Not only did my stomach decide to camp with the enemy, but I had to suffer the indignity of both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and a CAT scan, along with existing off of oatmeal and rice the entire time. What did they discover, you might be asking? With very little concern from the doctor, he found lesions on my liver, a small hernia below my esophagus and a few other apparently insignificant findings.
Here I sit, a week out from the last two procedures, in the same place I’d been in when I sought help in the first place! Just a large amount of shoulder shrugs… thank you so much for all the probing, sticking, and false empathy… makes me want to throw up in my mouth just a bit!
So, with that, I’m back to my DIY, FIY, and LGALG routine… I dare you to try and figure out the last set of initials stand for!
Basically, I’ve had to become what I dub as a slutty vegan! I’ve had to come up with my own version of nutrition, as well as, manage my own pain, which kinda sucks if you can’t take any NSAIDs by mouth. Absolutely everything I need for my body has to come from foods, and the list of what I can even tolerate has come to be very limited. This is the slutty vegan part!
I can have herbal tea, I can drink oat milk in small quantities, and I can eat a decent number of raw or frozen vegetables and fruits, as long as I’m careful. Certain things with too much fiber, or sugars in them really causes difficulties.
No more coffee, caffeine of any kind, chocolate, gluten, lactose, and a sleugh of other items that I’m to tired to list!
Pretty much everything has to be plant based, yay me! I can tolerate a little bit of egg, and chicken doesn’t bother me so this is my slutty compromise to this ridiculous food circus merry-go-round!
You can’t blame me for the overshare bit! Blame WordPress for asking me such a question. They’re just lucky they didn’t lose a finger or something.
Everyone knows not to poke a hungry bear…
Well, you better start eating this stuff cause I can’t, and I’m getting hungry just looking at it!
Journey With Me! 