I can hardly believe that it’s been two years since I wrote this! Though we’re no longer in that beat up old R.V., this road trip is far from over. With that in mind, it seemed appropriate to re-use this old prompt response… hugs.
I don’t have to think back too far, as we are still living in an RV, living like nomads wherever we go, and for however long we stay. We don’t really have any home left, here on actual earth, so we rumble along on this road trip, taking safe harbor wherever it can be found.
If you think about it, everyone is on a road trip of sorts, and I would imagine that we all feel like it’s quite memorable. I appreciate the prompts use of the word most, while referring to the road trip, as they could have used best, worst, happiest or saddest… but they chose most memorable. Life IS most memorable, wouldn’t you say?!
Don’t we always say things like, it’s a wild ride, it’s gonna be a bumpyride, it’s a crazy ride, or Baby, what a ride? So I don’t need to think hard on why my thoughts drifted this way, once I began reading the prompt question.
Life is most definitely a journey, or road trip if you will!
It would take us all a very long time, to write down all of what we’ve seen, felt and experienced, along each of our personal highways… oh wait… that’s what I’ve already been doing, right here on WordPress… you’re welcome!
As a girl of only eleven, I’d already discovered the item I was most fond of… my survival, or my physical life, if I’m to label it as an actual thing. No, it’s probably not what one might call an item, but sure felt like it.
Daily writing prompt
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
Sometimes, life has a way of getting reduced into nothing more than a thing… an item to be played with, bartered, or thrown out when it’s usefulness has been expended.
For some souls, it can take an entire lifetime to figure this out. They don’t feel the harsh bite of reality pop up, for a good long while. Who knows, maybe everyone begins to take notice of being less valuable to society, once the body begins to slow, and they lose the ability to carry on at the pace they once held.
Then there’s souls like mine. We discovered, early on, how little value we held, how we weren’t valuable enough protect, to care about… never worthy enough to be saved! This was my dark alleyway of existence, wandering through the night until I found a place to sleep… doing whatever I had to do to secure food, warmth, and sleep… never safety… just sleep! This life was not much but it was mine, and I valued it above everything else!
I’m 55 now and nearing the age when most are preparing for retirement and their golden years… not this runaway!
I strive to prepare and strengthen myself for something bigger, better and still yet to come.
It has taken some considerably long years to get my life to this moment, and I couldn’t have done it without God. And, I didn’t care for the item I was so attached to, nor cherish it, as I did when I was a child. None the less, I’m grateful to say that it’s still in tact, for the most part.
If you’ve any curiosity about what has become of the item I was so attached to as a youth, you need only read the letters I have written over the years, here on WordPress.
As this site is really all I have to show for explaining things, it will have to suffice as my best answer!
I pray that my words, my life, and my purpose will always reflect a light that is not mine, but that of the Almighty! There is no greater calling, or mission, if you will.
Mine is a testimony of redemption, cleansing, healing and unfathomable grace, from the One who created the very foundations of this world.
It was simple, really. All I had to do was believe in Him, and trust fully in the words spoken by His only son, Jesus Christ. The mission given me was, and is, the same one given all those ages ago, while Jesus walked this earth…
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
When you accept one of my silly virtual cookies, they are stuffed with as much love and light that I can muster. And, then I pray that you will be covered with a myriad of little healing cookie crumbs… blessed crumbs, even. I know they aren’t real, but I guess it’s sort of symbolic, in hopes that you’ll see how valuable and precious you are to me, and more importantly, how much you’re worth to God. He loves you, whether you believe it or not, and He will never stop loving you… ever!
Why do I do it? Because, I’ve been called to do so. Not only that, but it fills me with such peace and happiness, knowing that everything I do for others is to be for His glory, not mine…
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
I’ll be honest in saying that I was a bit distracted, what with our newest grandbaby arriving. I’m gonna let Sugarplum take all the spotlight, because all I did was feel sorry for myself and play video games.
Oh, as far as the self-pity gaming… I’m over it, thank goodness!
While things have not changed for the better with my health, my reliance and obedience to God have not wavered!
I’ve no idea what, when, or if I’ll write anything of value this year, but I intend to be here with bells on, regardless!
There is a very fine, and precarious line between writing with passion or writing with emotion. Some can separate these two things while writing, quite effectively, I cannot. Don’t get me wrong, as I can definitely write this way… but it’s raw, painful, and often can be very damaging to others, not to mention my own mental state.
My health journey over the last 6 months has been exhausting, discouraging, and traumatic. I’ve been tossed from one specialist to another, none of which want my case. Primary doc sent me to the G.I. who went on vacation, so I waited three weeks. They ran tests and said it was simply due to my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). The weight continued to drop, and I still couldn’t eat. I asked for another appointment which was scheduled for two months later. I went off on the nurse, to say the least, though no swear words or disrespect were used. I simply screamed out over the phone that I didn’t want to die, and I was begging for help. In exasperation, they scheduled me for the next test, which was the Esophogram. That’s where they made the SECOND diagnosis for the Hiatal Hernia.
Off to the surgeon I was sent, where he also went on vacation for an additional 3 weeks before my appointment. He said he wanted more tests, so again, I waited another month for the nuclear study. They then said that my stomach was not emptying like normal, and referred me back to the G.I. for more meds… the surgeon refused to operate!
I got a message immediately from my G.I., not for an appointment but to offer a new drug… surprise!
My answer… NO MORE DRUGS!
Since when did doctors refuse to doctor?
When was it acceptable to allow a commercial about a new drug to dictate whether I should ask a doctor for help or not?
What about the Hypocritic Oath? Or are they now teaching the Hypocritical Oath in colleges these days?
Not even hours after that email, email I said, email… I saw a commercial on television for the very medication the doctor had so quickly offered me over the phone.
I’m out!
It will be God that heals me or I shall be going home… either way brings me no fear, but rather, hope for my future.
Each day I pray that God covers me, allowing me to get the very most out of a bowl of oatmeal with raisins, and 3 oz. chicken and rice w/veggies for dinner. I am reminded of how the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, eating Manna and quail… if they could do it, so too can I!
My God is far more Omnipotent and powerful than anything of man… I will stay on my feet as the chosen warrior of God until my last breath has gone!
I shall not fear!
I will walk boldly in the shadow of my God, who knows every part of my journey!
There may be days where I am silent, only offering inspirational music or scripture. Those are the days where He carries me.
There will be days of laughter, where God’s lessons are the ones that help me to lighten up, and let things be.
There may even be days where I cry out, in need of some encouragement and love from those I consider family… that’s you!
Whatever this year brings, we will face it together… I will share my ups, downs, and in-bewteens, and I expect the same from you! Just because one has struggles, doesn’t mean they’re incapable of giving love and understanding to others.
No matter where you are, what you are going through, or how badly you might be hurting, you are loved… you are valued… you are prayed for… and you are NEEDED, as you are!
… like the frozen peaks of a mighty mountain range. Sadly, little can survive there.
What about finding church in nature?
Can all that quite beauty and solitude become a church, of sorts? Meditating in peace, while trying to safely navigate this lost and fallen world?
Can Church be found in a book, but not in a heart?
What about where 2 or more are gathered?
Do I fit into the Church, or is the Church supposed to reside within Me?
Google says that the Bible mentions the word Church about 120 different times.
Somebody on Google also says that there are estimated to be between eight and 16 million actual church buildings in the world.
Another person says that there are 37 million churches throughout the world.
Oh yeah, and I also read that there are more than 45,000 Christian denominations in the world. I think I found all this information in under 5 minutes on the great World Wide Web. What started out as my morning quiet time in the word, turned into 2 days of trail walks, another day pondering my own church experiences, and then finally, the above mentioned 5 minutes of “Google is your friend”!
Honestly, at this point, I was feeling like a deer caught in someone’s proverbial headlights! I know we all believe that google is our friend, but let me tell ya, not only is it your friend, but EVERYBODY’S friend! Electronic Overshare Overload is what I will consider reality! Jokes aside, the web can be a great resource, within reason. Too much of a good thing can be not so good for us. Well, at least that’s how that old saying goes, anyways.
I am realizing that I am not interested in what the WWW thinks, nor am I certain as to where I stand with my own beliefs, regarding this subject.
However, here is the awesome truth about faith… I do believe in WHO God is and what He says to me! If I am to believe that the Bible is 100% truth, it goes to show that I will find the honest answers to my questions within this very book, right? Within this one book are my answers, written down simply and clearly, assuming I am truly seeking the HONEST answer.
With this truth upon my heart, I am embarking on a journey of knowledge, that I may see with clarity a Godly understanding of Church, His purpose, and how I fit into the body of Christ (His Church).
You know I will not go all the way to some clarity, without returning with some really great stories for you all. Keep a weathered eye out for me, and I will see you on the (metaphorical) flip side…
Are you kidding?! I absolutely do NOT trust my own instincts, which have gotten this girl into more trouble…
I was sure I knew what I was doing, and where I was going.
When things didn’t feel like they were right or I realized the direction was wrong, instinct told me to bury the errors and just keep going, which only took me down another wrong path…
When God pointed out my predicaments, my instinct was to argue my case and continue trying to do things my way!
If I have learned one thing through all of it… it’s that I can ONLY do all things through Christ, who strengthens me! My instincts are not and will never be enough to navigate this thing we all call life.
Instincts get surrendered to God every single morning, for this recovering runaway. The new rule of thumb is to seek the council of God throughout the whole of my day. Scripture warns NOT to lean on our own understanding, and I’m learning to listen!
While selecting an image for this morning’s post, I had an epiphany, of sorts…
Sometimes, we get stuck in a miracle rut! You know, thinking of miracles as a singular earth shattering occurrence that all can be amazed at, in only an instant!
One might think that the miracle for this little girl, occurred over 40 years ago, upon a darkened highway, but you’d be wrong…
…she was!
God, in only his wisdom, is now revealing the true miracle of that lost child, within the woman you see before you…
She could be a stranger, or perhaps not… it might be you, a family member or friend… anyone really!
God’s held onto my stubborn heart down many long highways,
pursued this wanderer through the wastelands of her own making,
removing detours, repairing breakdowns and healing wounds I thought would be my undoing…
and He loves me, unconditionally!
Just believe!
His miracles will reveal themselves upon the horizon of each new morning, if we will do this one simple thing… believe!
Epiphany = Each and every human soul’s miracles have been in the journey this whole time!!!
Will fulfill his promise to us, in us, and for us…
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
I read somewhere that doubts were like little fears trying to come to life, or something like that. It makes sense if you think about it for a moment.
I guess when I have doubts about my writing ability, that can be seen as the same thing as fear of failure or rejection.
When I have doubts that we will ever get beyond one step above homelessness, isn’t that the same thing as fearing God will let me down… that He’s forgotten me, or simply left me here?
Some call it doubt, some call it fear, and most often, you’ll hear me call it a Rabbit Hole.
Whatever we choose to call it, we all face obstacles that can cause us to doubt ourselves, and our fear of failing to overcome sends us down all sorts of rabbit holes to try and wriggle out of things.
I think the bottom line is whether we have enough faith, or maybe enough courage, and/or enough inner fortitude to rise above the things we face.
I think it is a good idea to regularly remind myself to do some self-checks of who and what I am… to God, to others, but very importantly, to myself! If I don’t believe that I am valuable and worthy of love, how can I believe that God feels that way about this daughter of His? Does that make sense? If I don’t I am worthy enough to serve God, it makes it very difficult for me to step out in faith when He asks it of me, because I get too caught up in doubt.
So, for a healthy reminder to regularly sweep out my doubt closet, Note To Self #12 is from one of my favorite authors…
“We are what we believe we are”. C.S. Lewis
Just to make sure I have brought my point across about doubt and about believing in ourselves, I’ve included a song by Lauren Daigle called You Say. I hope to leave you with a reminder for those who need it…
Journey With Me! 