Tilly and I agree that Bibles and cookies are the two best things ever!!!! Think about it for a second… I’ll wait… ok, I’ll tell you what I mean. Both bibles and cookies are good for the heart, the mind and the soul. They both make us happy, heal our hurts, fill us up, give us loads of energy… and make us better human beings!
Reaching land after being at sea for such a long time can be like standing upon the sand, as the sea pulls the waters back into the depths. It feels like you’re moving while standing still, as the sand moves beneath your feet. I stand upon the shore of a new land (sort of), having nowhere to go, but forward into the unknown. It feels both exciting and confusing, as you’ve no idea what’s beyond your vision, or where the path will lead.
We’ve spent the last five years living in the same small space, climbing over one another, and putting one foot in front of the other… adrift in uncharted waters!
We’d forgotten how to live without constant and immense pressure, pushing at us from all directions; often forcing us to move fast, while leaving everything behind! When you live for so long with little on hand, you become accustomed to letting things go, and/or making due. I am a bit shocked at how much that was lost along the way to this particular shore. For goodness sake, I haven’t had a vacuum cleaner for five years, let alone a working oven, or a working toilet (that was only in the last year and a half). I guess, my point here would be that I feel a bit lost and out of sorts, when it comes to living like a normal person.
I will be taking another week off from writing, in order to focus on rest and recovery from a very costly time at sea. The physical toll it has taken on us this time has been costly, so rest and recovery are the priority, at the moment. Spring quarter will begin for my husband in less than 2 weeks, so he’s going to be getting his first taste of college without the pressure of homelessness and loss hanging over his head all the time, thank goodness! He’s nearly there, with only spring and summer left on this degree. It’s incredible how well he has done in the midst of such turmoil, and I’m so very proud of his commitment to finish… and finish well!
Me? I have another book to write, but first, it’s time to put the first one out there…
It’s time, wouldn’t you agree? If God deems it time, then I’ve no doubt that it will be done. I shall enter this new part of the journey with the grace, faith and confidence given my by my Creator, going wherever I’m called to go. I’ve always loved a good adventure, how about you?!
F.Y.I. , these new shores are quite beautiful from where I’m standing!
Manufacturers of everything baby safe have made it nearly impossible for adults to open the thing not meant for a baby to touch… you know, pill bottles or doors or packages, etc.
Don’t get me started on those baby gates… sheesh!
Ahhh… the joyful memories of trying to open a door with one of those safety covers, while your arms are full of either laundry or toys or I don’t know… a sleeping baby!
So, yeah… there’s that!
It probably goes further than just childproof stuff, if I’m being fully. Most likely, we’ve probably all dropped food on the floor, at one time or another, due to a failed attempt at opening the wrapper. I know you don’t want to admit it, but you know it’s happened!
So yeah, I want to be skilled in the opening of all things childproof, and I think I’m onto something, in this regard. To be a ninja, one must practice and train constantly, which in turn uses up ones energy, making them hungry, right!? What if we put superfood for the brain into our favorite meals and snacks? I’ve already begun field testing, but I could sure use some outside opinions, just to be sure that I’m on the right track.
Here, try one of these magic safety cookies…
Let me know if they work, or if there are any side effects to make note of, like itchy feet… not that there’s anything to be concerned about, at least, I don’t think so.
If ever this were to be considered a mountain… well, God moved it!
We do not know why, but for whatever their reason, the owners of the property chose to come back to the table and change their first decision. Basically, they completely changed their mind and lowered the cost of the apartment in order to get us approved… not kidding!
It’s small, but absolutely adorable… and clean!
Everything is new, and bright, and warm, and just perfect perfect perfect!!!
Sure, it’s empty now, but let me tell you… when the bible says that God will restore all that the enemy has stolen, I am watching such miracles unfold right before my eyes!
Some very generous donations have already arrived from God, through the many different organizations that have been with us throughout all this… I swear, I think they’re more excited than we are about things finally coming together. They’ve already ordered us a new bed, a vacuum cleaner, and a boatload of bathroom and cleaning supplies, so that should arrive at the new address within another day or so…
I’m in love with the whole color scheme that was chosen for this layout. Now we just have to wait for the mail to catch up with is… lol.
Oh, and we have to go to the V.A. this afternoon to pick up a furniture voucher, gift cards for things like dishes and cooking supplies. Honestly, I am still a bit numb about all this, as if I expect I might wake from such a dream, you know…
Oh, by the way, right in the middle of all of this going on, I got a phone call from my middle daughter… I’m gonna be a Meemaw again… AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Don’t babies just make everything better… oh, and cookies.. cookies make everything better, too. I have to tell you something funny in all this. After loosing pretty much all that we owned, down to the point of wearing the same outfit for the last three and a half weeks, I managed to save two items… my KitchenAid mixer and my Cuisinart, no joke! I have a mountain of cookies to bake, lol! My hubby tested the oven straight away… it’s like he knows me, or something…
And, guess what? Both my little plants have survived, thus far. I promised them both that they’d be getting new pots and soil when we get them moved in… they’ve earned them!
I know that this must have been awful for you all, having to watch helplessly as we went through this desert, but I could NOT have done this without your love, your faithful prayers, and your constant encouragement!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I am so very richly blessed!
This chapter in my journey has closed, so let us move forward to see what God has in store four the future…
If I were to say anything of value, regarding what we just endured, I would say this… God has profoundly changed this wild and angry child, carefully molding her into that which is beautiful in His eyes.
It is indescribably here, resting beneath the shadow of my Father. From here, I can see for endless miles into the future… no, I haven’t reached some weird plane of visions, so don’t start freaking out on me. What I mean is that it’s not dark any longer, as it had been for so much of this process. Oh, I still can’t see the specifics of what will come… but it’s bright here, wherever I look… I might be wrong, but I think that it’s joy, or maybe hope, but it could also be the source of all those prayers everyone has been shouting to the heavens, on my behalf.
The question isn’t why… it isn’t when, who or even where. I’ve been thinking on this, of late. Whenever a person goes through troubled waters, so to speak, a great many of those questions occupy their mind. Unfortunately, those questions don’t often see a viable answer.
Sometimes, maybe the real useful question to ask is “How?” I realize that it’s a rather unusual one word question, but if you think about it, all the other questions were also one word queries.
Since I tend to spend most of my time on the water, with a good many stretches of rough rapids and storms, I finally got sick of all the other questions, as they never really do me any good until after the fact.
This time… I’m finding a breakthrough!
This time… How?
How will I hold?
How will I rest?
How will I stand?
How will I exercise my faith?
How will I use all that truth I’ve been reading about?
How will I reflect my trust in God?
How will I express all the peace, hope, love, faith, forgiveness and generosity of heart that he has been creating within me?
How will I bend the knee?
How will I lay before the throne?
The One I believe in has been working on my behalf from the beginning, so it’s not a question of when, where, who, or why for me any longer, but how…
To answer the how,
I will hold with grace…
I will rest in complete peace…
I will stand tall…
I will share my faith with you, by speaking of all my journey, whether it is calm, harsh, beautiful, or painfully ugly…
That’s the only way that I can reflect my trust in Him…
My stories and journal entries are how I express all the good fruits that He produces within my heart for you…
I will bend the knee to the God of ages, surrendering to His rule and authority over my life, no matter where I must go, what I must endure for however long I must endure it, and regardless of why!
How?
How can I think this way, say these things, and actually stand in the face of this overwhelming mountain? I’ll tell you how…
The power of surrender, that’s how!
All that my Creator asks of me is surrender to his will, plan and purpose… and I show my obedience and complete surrender in all those HOWS… just sayin!
When you are in the darkest moments of your journey, remember…
Hold, have peace, stand tall, speak only that which is good, edifying and hopeful, trust in the one who gave you life, and no matter what, always remember that your stories are important to others… you are important! Life’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, so we have to choose who we want to be as we get through it… or better yet, how we want to get through it!
I’ve not been posting, as it’s far better to remain silent than to speak words of pain, anger, and frustration… things circumstantial have a way of bringing rise to my serpent’s tongue, if you get my meaning.
It’s beyond my ability to understand how many times an agency can lie to your face.. anyways, this is the reason I cannot speak of things, just now. We’re exhausted, extremely stressed, both sicker than ever with some flue (yay), so it’s clear that my judgement is somewhat compromised.
After waiting 10 days on that application to process, they finally called to say that there was still paperwork missing… and that apartments no longer available… and we still need to wait for an inspection, which God only knows how long that could take. They keep saying one thing and then just blowing right past their own promises, only to then make us feel as if it’s our fault that they can’t seem to get things done.
How does one describe the feeling of being overlooked, minimized, forgotten, undervalued, passed over, left behind, discarded by society, as no more than a burden to the world? I can tell you that these are my feelings, but I am unable to even begin to describe it’s toll on the physical body. Fortunately for me, while my body declines… my spirit is on fire!
I see His hand in the darkness, holding onto us, binding us to each other and to Him, so that’s how I endure… Jesus chose me before the foundation of the earth, died to make a way for me, and sits ever faithfully beside me, here in this wasteland… I am still NOT alone!
God Bless and keep all of you, my friends. I love you dearly and hope you are well.
If one were to ask me how I might describe my thoughts and emotions right now, I can only say that it’s very dark and strangely unfamiliar. We’ve been wandering from motel to motel with all that’s left of our life packed into the back of our car. Feeling like you’ve been completely forgotten and overlooked by those promising to provide a resource, quite honestly, feels gut wrenching!
We were given our voucher, but then informed that it still had to be ported back to another county before we could use it. Within a day of getting the voucher, our paperwork simply vanished into the system. By the grace of God, and my husbands quick thinking, we drove two cities away from where we started to find an apartment that already passed the required inspections, which takes up to 45 days, normally. Doing things this way avoids having to wait up to 3 weeks for the portal process.
All the papers are in, application filled out… and now we wait! It could be a day… or up to several weeks for the apartment to accept our application. Though this has been a nightmare, and I will most likely never speak of it in any detail, at no time have I felt abandoned by my God! Let’s just say that this part of our journey has called for all of my faith, fully in action! And, as it says in the bible, I shall count it all joy!
God chooses my path, and in scripture it tells us that He knows our going out and our lying down. It also says that he is familiar with all our ways. If God allows me to experience these things, then there’s learning that needs to be done, and that’s growth! Of this I’m certain…growth is good, even though it can sometimes be difficult or painful.
It’s true, you know, that saying about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. There’s only one thing I might add to that phrase, and it’s this:… it’s our choice as to whether that strength will be fueled by faith, hope, and love, or just anger, bitterness and hatred. Each path will leave you changed, but you do have a choice in which way to climb your mountains. Personally, I desire to grow stronger on the way up, through, or around these mountains. When God calls my name… I’m going to be on my feet!
When you blow a tire on your car, out on some dark stretch of highway, no amount of crying, raging at injustice, or wishing for a fairy godmother to appear, is going to fix that flat! You gotta get out and get to work… sometimes, it just is what it is…
Today begins another transitional phase in the journey, my friends. I may be absent for a number of days, as we seek somewhere to stay until we find our next stop. As far as I’m aware, this room is only good through tomorrow morning, with no more assistance available on that front. But, we just need to get our voucher so that we can start applying anywhere. That comes in the morning, after our mandatory voucher orientation class. Honestly, I don’t know what goes through the minds of those behind desks, assuming that a homeless person can travel some 30 miles away for this required attendance. Luckily, the car is still drivable and we have fuel in the tank.
Oh well, let’s just do what needs doing, you know?!
Besides, my husband’s doing the physical driving, anyway. And, let’s not forget that God’s the one in control, overall! He’s got us!
Hopefully, I will be back before you even know that I was missing… hehehe
Journey With Me! 