All those years ago, in the heart of a desolate child, God reached down and plucked me from the clutches of the enemy… in every sense of the words!
Utterly lost and forgotten, until He sought me out!
It’s been quite a journey since…
Dream of anything…
Snacks, of course…
Through anger, fear, and the nightmares that haunted me, I fought God for years. I refused to let go of the very things that were destroying me from the inside out… memories! Mine, theirs, the memories became baggage that only gained weight with the passage of time.
The good, the bad, and all that lay between… He never let go of this broken one, this forgotten child. After all the things I did to push God away from me, He still held on with such intensity, I could no longer deny Him!
Truly, I am walking this earth because of the grace and power of God, and God alone! Positive, oh yes… I’d say that encounter had a very positive effect on this child!
I’d have to say that choosing to become a mother, quickly set me upon a path that has changed me in more ways than I could ever fully describe. I’m pretty sure that just about every woman ever to become a mother, would say that it was a major life changer. Let’s just say that this woman is very different than the one that made that choice, so many years ago.
Through it all, and that includes the heartache as well as the joys, I have learned to love more deeply, forgive more graciously (myself included), give more readily to another… and here’s a biggie… I learned how to overcome failures, learning from them instead of feeling defeated by them.
Raising my daughters helped make me the person that I am today, and I like the me that I ended up becoming…
Since the bible says that we are all brothers and sisters “in Christ”, then that means He qualifies as a family member that has done something positive for me… and you, as well!
Jesus did what no one else could… He Conquered death itself!
John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I’m going out on a limb here, but I would definitely call that something positive!
Oh my goodness, have I got Babyitis, just now! Perhaps you’ve heard of it, or possibly even suffered from it, at one time or another.
It came on quite suddenly, if I’m being honest. Usually, the symptoms are small and slow to appear… at least, that’s how it’s been for me, in the past.
Not this time! I was not prepared for it to bring me to my knees (metaphorically) in the middle of Walmart, yesterday. There I was, innocently looking at yarn, with the hope that I can make one last baby blanket, before my arthritis robs me of this passion. This has to be one of the most important blankets I’ll ever craft, as this baby seems to have become the bridge in which God might mend something that I, myself, broke. Sorry, I went sort of deep, there for a moment.
Anyways, I found some really adorable colors to work with, as we don’t yet know the gender of this upcoming little blessing. Here, I’ll show you…
Hopefully, this will become something lovely… and I’ll show you update pictures of my progress, just for fun!
So, there I was in the aisle of crafts, with my chosen yarn held firmly in my arms, when something caught my eye. I spied a stuffed bunny ear… and I cannot be held responsible for what occurred next. It wasn’t my fault! I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of all those symptoms of Babyitis.
My poor husband had a hard time keeping up with me, as we were heading toward the check-out. Finally, he says, “why on earth are you walking so fast… wait, what’s in the cart that you don’t want me to see?” Busted!
No worries… Babyitis comes with a positive perk…
I think it makes one smell like either chocolate, or cookies… or both! For some crazy reason, whenever I have an symptoms of Babyitis surface, my hubby just smiles softly with a strange look in his eyes, similar to when he drinks the cocoa I make… weird, huh?!
When these crazy symptoms first surfaced, yesterday, I did attempt to promise that it wouldn’t happen again, but then changed my mind. While I may be able to exercise some amount of restraint, being the mature adult that I am, I cannot say that this won’t happen again… in fact, I have a feeling that he’s going to have hide any spare change laying about!
I had such plans for writing out some thoughts today, for your reading pleasure… but it’s already after lunch, and I’m just now sitting down at my desk.
What on earth could derail such literary intentions, you might be asking yourselves. Well, I’ll make it easy on you…
Rearranging! Yup! I just spent the entirety of my morning hours, repeatedly moving the same three pieces of furniture from one spot to the other, in an attempt to make a small space feel inviting, not suffocating.
Honestly, I’d forgotten how hard this would be, trying to make sure things look pretty, instead of just stuffing things in corners… ya know?!
After all this time without a real place to call home, I laugh at so many things I find myself rediscovering… like running a vacuum cleaner. Truth be told, I confess that I haven’t needed to use it, as of yet. Seriously, this whole building is carpeted, so there isn’t anything on our feet by the time we get to our apartment… I truly appreciate these little blessings.
God tells me that it’s time to work on experiencing life again, now that we’ve been given a fresh reset to things, if you know what I mean. So, that’s what I shall be focusing on for the foreseeable future, the living part.
God leads, I follow… and you folks get to experience all of the benefits, in terms of the many fun and fantastical literary adventures I plan on sharing with you. Who knows what awaits us… all of us!
The easiest way to describe how new hands were such a positive change for me, is to just show you…
The old hands held onto so many painful things from the past, but with new hands on board, I began to let go…
When this began happening, I noticed how much strength began to return to my body. With two new hands, now free of waste, I have the freedom to use these hands for so much more… so much good!
There is freedom to reach out in love now, more and more each day, without guilt, shame, bitterness, resentment, anger or poison from the past.
… and, that also leaves oodles of spare time for one of my favorite hobbies. Take a wild guess…
Tilly and I agree that Bibles and cookies are the two best things ever!!!! Think about it for a second… I’ll wait… ok, I’ll tell you what I mean. Both bibles and cookies are good for the heart, the mind and the soul. They both make us happy, heal our hurts, fill us up, give us loads of energy… and make us better human beings!
Reaching land after being at sea for such a long time can be like standing upon the sand, as the sea pulls the waters back into the depths. It feels like you’re moving while standing still, as the sand moves beneath your feet. I stand upon the shore of a new land (sort of), having nowhere to go, but forward into the unknown. It feels both exciting and confusing, as you’ve no idea what’s beyond your vision, or where the path will lead.
We’ve spent the last five years living in the same small space, climbing over one another, and putting one foot in front of the other… adrift in uncharted waters!
We’d forgotten how to live without constant and immense pressure, pushing at us from all directions; often forcing us to move fast, while leaving everything behind! When you live for so long with little on hand, you become accustomed to letting things go, and/or making due. I am a bit shocked at how much that was lost along the way to this particular shore. For goodness sake, I haven’t had a vacuum cleaner for five years, let alone a working oven, or a working toilet (that was only in the last year and a half). I guess, my point here would be that I feel a bit lost and out of sorts, when it comes to living like a normal person.
I will be taking another week off from writing, in order to focus on rest and recovery from a very costly time at sea. The physical toll it has taken on us this time has been costly, so rest and recovery are the priority, at the moment. Spring quarter will begin for my husband in less than 2 weeks, so he’s going to be getting his first taste of college without the pressure of homelessness and loss hanging over his head all the time, thank goodness! He’s nearly there, with only spring and summer left on this degree. It’s incredible how well he has done in the midst of such turmoil, and I’m so very proud of his commitment to finish… and finish well!
Me? I have another book to write, but first, it’s time to put the first one out there…
It’s time, wouldn’t you agree? If God deems it time, then I’ve no doubt that it will be done. I shall enter this new part of the journey with the grace, faith and confidence given my by my Creator, going wherever I’m called to go. I’ve always loved a good adventure, how about you?!
F.Y.I. , these new shores are quite beautiful from where I’m standing!
If ever this were to be considered a mountain… well, God moved it!
We do not know why, but for whatever their reason, the owners of the property chose to come back to the table and change their first decision. Basically, they completely changed their mind and lowered the cost of the apartment in order to get us approved… not kidding!
It’s small, but absolutely adorable… and clean!
Everything is new, and bright, and warm, and just perfect perfect perfect!!!
Sure, it’s empty now, but let me tell you… when the bible says that God will restore all that the enemy has stolen, I am watching such miracles unfold right before my eyes!
Some very generous donations have already arrived from God, through the many different organizations that have been with us throughout all this… I swear, I think they’re more excited than we are about things finally coming together. They’ve already ordered us a new bed, a vacuum cleaner, and a boatload of bathroom and cleaning supplies, so that should arrive at the new address within another day or so…
I’m in love with the whole color scheme that was chosen for this layout. Now we just have to wait for the mail to catch up with is… lol.
Oh, and we have to go to the V.A. this afternoon to pick up a furniture voucher, gift cards for things like dishes and cooking supplies. Honestly, I am still a bit numb about all this, as if I expect I might wake from such a dream, you know…
Oh, by the way, right in the middle of all of this going on, I got a phone call from my middle daughter… I’m gonna be a Meemaw again… AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Don’t babies just make everything better… oh, and cookies.. cookies make everything better, too. I have to tell you something funny in all this. After loosing pretty much all that we owned, down to the point of wearing the same outfit for the last three and a half weeks, I managed to save two items… my KitchenAid mixer and my Cuisinart, no joke! I have a mountain of cookies to bake, lol! My hubby tested the oven straight away… it’s like he knows me, or something…
And, guess what? Both my little plants have survived, thus far. I promised them both that they’d be getting new pots and soil when we get them moved in… they’ve earned them!
I know that this must have been awful for you all, having to watch helplessly as we went through this desert, but I could NOT have done this without your love, your faithful prayers, and your constant encouragement!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I am so very richly blessed!
This chapter in my journey has closed, so let us move forward to see what God has in store four the future…
If I were to say anything of value, regarding what we just endured, I would say this… God has profoundly changed this wild and angry child, carefully molding her into that which is beautiful in His eyes.
It is indescribably here, resting beneath the shadow of my Father. From here, I can see for endless miles into the future… no, I haven’t reached some weird plane of visions, so don’t start freaking out on me. What I mean is that it’s not dark any longer, as it had been for so much of this process. Oh, I still can’t see the specifics of what will come… but it’s bright here, wherever I look… I might be wrong, but I think that it’s joy, or maybe hope, but it could also be the source of all those prayers everyone has been shouting to the heavens, on my behalf.
Journey With Me! 