It’s hard to have my ship up on blocks, leaving me to sit here on the beach… alone. Creed is busily working away on the ship, so I don’t wish to disturb him, and Brutus took all the babes and flew back to the barn. The big wide world is no place for them to simply wander about, what with man’s fear of anything they don’t recognize or understand.
Besides, I left some important maps back in my office desk that we’ll need, once the ship is seaworthy. Lilly knows where I keep them, so she’ll retrieve the maps along with several other things we’d left behind. Tilly wanted to visit young Henry and the rest of the babes simply wanted to go along for the dragon ride… always the adventurers, they are!
So, here I sit, all alone on the beach and wondering what to do with myself for the next several days. I don’t often spend time away from them for so long, but it’ll be good for me, right? Why do I find myself lonely? Will they miss me, at all? What if they need a break from me?
I’ve always felt like I was simply too much! Too much emotion, too loud, talks far too much, cries more than most, and lives a life that wears folks out! I crave affection far more than a person probably should, but I just miss human touch, that’s all! Watching someone’s eyes glaze over as I seek to fellowship with them is brutally painful! It happens with everyone I encounter, so it’s not new… but the pain of it is always real, fresh, and damaging.
I’ve sort of chosen to avoid engaging others now, not that there are that many to avoid. I’ve three daughters who are living their own lives, keeping me firmly placed on the outskirts of their hearts… my fault!
I’ve no church family that calls me their own… my fault!
I’ve a husband whom I love deeply, but has never even picked up a bible once, in all of our 19 years of marriage… my choice!
That was my list of obligated listeners. Not a very long list!
Fortunately, I have discovered that with God, I am never alone! He listens to my incessant chatter, my prayers, my raging, and my storytelling. He captures my tears, mends the hurt, and fills the empty! There is none that can compare, to the God who has walked with me all these years… through all the good, the bad, the hurt and the heartache. When I make mistakes, he forgives and helps me learn to grow from the lessons.
When absolutely everyone else simply shrugs their shoulders in frustration or irritation, at my cries for help or attempts at sharing my heart… He stays!
So, now you know what I’m planning to do with my time over the next few quiet days… spend it with the one who calls me His own.
Hugs
Journey With Me! 