When I was pregnant with each of my daughters, I counted each and every day…
Don’t ask me about dieting because I counted each and every calorie til I broke down and binged… Don’t judge!
The point is, most of my activities through the years did nothing to help me lose track of time. But, since you’re already here I’ve decided to put my thinking cap on. I want to try and make you lose track of time.
Honestly, I only had to think on it for a moment! Three things immediately came to mind that I’m certain will satisfy today’s prompt.
Sleep has a two-fold bonus to it, when it comes to losing track of time. There will be times when I wake feeling like I’d only just closed my eyes. And, I’m fairly certain that I slept in the same position throughout the night.
Then, there will be those nights spent dreaming of beautiful and wondrous places. You know what dreams I speak of, don’t you. They’re the ones so fantastical that they couldn’t be real. Those are the dreams that make you want to fall back asleep, unsuccessfully attempting to revisit the dream. In futility, you strive to seek the place you’d just left off, before dawn had so rudely disturbed your slumber.
While I may not have mastered the art of revisiting a recent dream, there are many of my dreams that revisit me from years past. Sometimes, I can’t remember if they were dreams, or memories. It’s strange, but I can recall the first time I dreamt each of them. I can’t recall my first love, nor any of my childhood teachers, but I can tell you exactly when and where each dream began. Isn’t one’s memory such a tricky thing? Whether it be a dream or a memory, the emotions I felt back then are just as real to me now, as they were the first time…
Now that I went and got all nostalgic on you, it’s pretty clear to see why sleep is my favorite time burner! What would the world look like without sleep? That’s where dreams are made! I can’t imagine what the world might be like without dreams, can you?
Yeesh! I don’t want to think about that possibility… how depressing would that be? Whatever we do, let’s never stop dreaming!
I think that dreams say a great deal about who we are… on the inside. Before you start preparing for some kind of mental health episode of some sort, I’ll leave that to the professionals, thank you very much! My thoughts and considerations will be looking at our character, our personality, or we can label as our true self, if you will. As I always tend to do, let me explain what I meant by my initial statement.
First off, I want to break dreaming into two categories here, one being a waking daydream, while the other is a sleeping dream. Waking daydreams are the ones in which we control the dream in its entirety. Obviously, the sleeping dreams are when we’re not awake, therefore we have no conscious control of what goes on in our dream, nor any control of the outcome… we just gotta ride it out, so to speak.
When I write these thoughts out, I’ve no intention of trying to figure others out, based on their dreams! I guess I’m writing out something that I’ve discovered about my own personality and tendencies, that’s all. Some say that they don’t really dream much, while others dream often and deeply… people like me.
Being a child from trauma, I sought fantasies and daydreams from a very early age, as a way of safety or escape, if you will. To this day, I can vividly remember things from those years, most especially the dreams and recurring nightmares that I experienced. Weird, right?!
Anyway, I had one of my re-run daydreams from when I was small, just the other day. As I was thinking on the memory of my dream, I noticed something sort of funny about myself, or, the way that I saw myself in the daydream. It made me want to look back through some of the other dreams, just to see if I did that in all of them. Guess what I discovered? I did, in fact, see myself in a particular way, when it was a sleeping dream and another way when it was a daydream… just two starring roles… two!
In every waking dream that I created, I cast myself as the assistant, the helper, the heroin through heavy lifting! I was either Charlie instead of Willie Wonka, or the Mad Hatter instead of Alice, or the child who helped Dr. Doolittle. Even to this day, I never see myself as the heroin or hero in anything… always, always, always, I dream myself behind the scenes. In my stories, it feels better to focus on my desires for the cast members in the tale. I think that’s why I prefer you to see me through Tilly, Eustace, or any of this site’s characters when I write. They seem to capture who I am, there within the pages of their stories.
The sleeping dreams are a far different representation of how I saw myself back then, and even now, today. That little girl only experienced the nightmare portion of the dreams, for many, many years. I was a frequent bed wetter, and struggled with severe anxiety. I had no one to talk to, no one to comfort or rescue me from my hell. I’m sure that this is why my waking dreams were so intense and real to me. I even learned how to wake myself out of my night terrors. I actually began to flip myself from my bed and onto the floor, so as to force myself awake. That child was always running, fighting and/or in pain during those dreams. Over the years, I changed in appearance as I grew into a woman, wife, and mother, but I still continued to be the victim… or the villain. Yes, I even saw myself become the villain, but what could I do? I had no control, there in the depths of my darkness.
Ok, no more of that part, as it’s not who I am now! Now? God holds my dreams in the palm of his hand, shielding and comforting me through anything I may experience during my sleep, which is now rarely more than a goofy recap of what I’d watched on television the night before. It’s funny, because the transformation within this wild child has been miraculous, to say the least!
Waking daydreams are now filled with a purpose, not my own, but of one who is so much greater!
Night dreaming is no longer a place of fear, but of peace, protection, and security!
I’ll not forget the child of my past, no no, as she is the one who survived!
I’ll not forget the lost wild one, for she is full of fiery spirit, and tenacity!
While I may not ever be a hero of anything special, Charlie did end up with the factory, so that children would hold onto their dreams!
That child who followed Dr. Doolittle… they carried on the doctor’s work to care for others, whether it was a Push-Me-Pull-Me or the captive sea lion… always the less fortunate!
What do I daydream about now? I dream that everywhere I go… I smell like cookie dough, pulling children’s imaginations along with me, just like the pied piper! For all the rest of you… I pray that I leave a trail of cookie crumbs in my wake… get it, wake… hehehe!
The mood around the barnyard has been rather sad, as of late, due to the sudden departure of Squagon. Earlier this week, as I sat studying in my office, a thought occurred to me, regarding our guests within the rafters.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that the arrival of our Twilight Dreamers, as I like to call them, occurred suspiciously around the time of Squagon’s kin disappearing from Acorn Valley!
Right about the time that I sent Brutus to start searching for them, young Squagon began having bad dreams, often waking in tears. The tiny squirrel’s nightmares were the reason I’d gone and sought answers from the Holy Rollin Ravens, if you recall the musical and cryptic song they offered up.
There were a number of nights that I simply slept in the barn, as the squirrel’s night fears began to spread like a sickness through the barn, causing quite a disturbance among the rest of the babe’s. No one was getting much sleep, including myself, what with all the crying and asking for a juice cup!
It seems to me, like, right about that time, we discovered our little guests appearing up in the barn’s rafters. Oddly, as soon as they showed up in our midst… the nightmare’s of each babe, began to subside and fade away. All that is, except for young Squagon, who still continued to suffer within his little dreams, though not as badly as before.
Anyway, I’m still digging into my memories of that time, to seek a number of answers that are yet missing, regarding the connection between Squagon and our little dreamers. Nothing worth knowing is ever that easy, so I’m still studying.
When I say studying, what I really mean is observing. I know little about these small flying creatures, but one of the first discoveries was their sleep schedule…
Why do you think I’ve begun calling them TWILIGHT dreamers? Yup! They are nocturnal, or awake during our sleep time, if that helps. What this means for me… a great deal more coffee than usual, that’s for sure!
I’ve set myself a schedule of observing their activities for several hours each night, while the babe’s are all dreaming… and yes, that’s where I chose the Dreamer portion of describing our guests. Early on in their stay with us, I noticed that these little things are the most active during the time when the babe’s are sleeping.
The strange little creatures spend much of their wakeful hours, busily flying silently overhead of my little ones sleeping hidey holes. What are they doing, you might be wondering? Well, I was wondering the same thing, so I camped myself in the corner of the barn for an entire night, just watching and listening.
Guess what these little things do all night? While they flit to and fro across the barn, occasionally hovering over one babe or another, these little dreamers are singing softly, sometimes even praying tiny little prayers of comfort and rest. In case you were wondering, they are rather quiet, even when they are singing.
I had to put ear phones in and listen through a high powered recording device, just to hear them.
I’ve still so many unanswered questions, as I’m sure you do too, but only time and continued studying will truly uncover all there is to learn. What I can tell you is that I’ve begun getting to know one of these little night flyers. She caught my eye, right from the beginning! I compare her to popcorn, because everyone knows how popcorn in the microwave can make the whole room smell yummy! That is Beatrice!
I’m still getting more familiar with my new friend, so you’ll have to wait until next week to learn more of her, along with her kin. I think that I may have struck gold with Beatrice, as I think she may be the eldest, and possibly the most knowledgeable of the bunch!
While I will be sharing everything I discover, if you have any suggestions or first impressions about all this, I welcome the help!
Journey With Me! 