Tag: christianity

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka12 Comments

Have you ever wanted something so much that you can’t stop thinking about it? It consumes your thoughts, your dreams, and gives you a motivation that you didn’t know you had. You scrimp and save, make numerous sacrifices to afford the time, money, and anything else required to prepare for said thing. It might be anything from a vacation, a new car, or even a baby!

Unless you are very wealthy and/or were born with a big ENTITLED badge sewn on the left cheek your bum… there’s usually a vast distance from start to finish! I think sometimes we watch too much television, where they make it look like a walk in the park to become ALL THAT!

The last time I checked, there weren’t any badges on my bum nor do I carry a purse full of cash, so I’m looking across a vast canyon that’s deep and wide. In our particular situation, it’s somewhat like looking up from a very deep well. There’s a sensation of being slowly pulled upward, while sitting in a bucket that’s still half full of murky water.

Discovering such a great distance between that first rescue bucket and the really solid dry land needed has been a bit of a shock. Truly, it was ignorant of me to assume that we could get from homeless to successful overnight, just because we have keys to an apartment. When they hand you that so-called GOLDEN TICKET… you’re on your own!

When we were circling the drain, all I could think about was getting my books published and quickly leaving all the bad memories behind. Pipe dreams, I know, but it helped. Not only is it NOT so easy, but now that I’m here in this moment, I’m not even sure if it’s in God’s purpose… at least, not right now!

The program we are in does NOT allow for my husband or I to make any money while he is going to school. If any money is made, we stand to lose much or all of our housing money. No one tells you what to do for any actual dollars needed for things, outside of food stamps that only cover food. It makes me wonder how many people fail to ever recover, due to this little flaw in the system. We’ve actually found just about every flaw, crack, or hole in the system to fall into, which is why it took us nearly two years to get housing (the last six months was the homeless, homeless part.

In the end, I don’t care what president holds office… the system just needs to be fixed… for the people! That’s us, the feet on the ground, the workers, the farmers, the builders, the caregivers… the human souls that keep this country afloat with our hard work, our bloody and dirty hands, and our truly beautiful hearts!

This is the very reason that I rely on GOD alone, above any and all government! The only reason we are here, in this very apartment, had God stamped all over it! No government policy or case worker made that one person change their heart and allow us in… that was GOD!

With that being said, I still find myself wondering what now? Why did God put us here, and what is the next step? What if I step out in faith and start throwing manuscripts out there, only to find that I was the only one who believed in their value, you know? Yep! This loudmouthed frog, Chatty Cathy, Wiwohka Wonka, and redeemed woman of faith has doubt, just like everybody else. My journey toward eternity is just that… a journey! It’s how I intend to get there that will count. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to see God as our father. He faithfully carries us through our entire life, teaching and loving us through good, bad, right, wrong, darkness, and light.

It doesn’t matter if my steps go off track, if my faith is weak, or if I simply feel unsure about my next choice…

GOD IS WITH US!

GOD IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, FAITHFUL!

GOD WILL ALWAYS LIGHT THE WAY FOR US!

It’s not about whether our choices are the right ones, the wrong ones, or even the refusal to decide… it’s about looking up, getting up, and continuing forward in faith, hope and love!

If I’m to be fully honest about why any of this is even being written down and shared with others, it’s to remind myself!

Thanks for listening… hugs

Monday Musings…

Wiwohka5 Comments

As I sit staring at my screen, the desire to offer up a list of my usual Monday Messages is there, but beyond that? Well,I got nuthin.. nada!

Thankfully, the daily prompt kicked me in the bloomers, what with the whole productivity thing.

Fortunately, we’re settling into our apartment nicely, after such a long time in the wilderness, so to speak. One would thing that I’d have a list that’s longer than my arm of all the things I can, and probably should be doing now. I do… but it makes my stomach hurt when I begin reading it.

Perhaps it would have been better to keep a shorter list. Maybe I should have made a rolodex of things during our ordeal, so that my thoughts would be more organized now. I didn’t! Does anybody do that when they’re in the middle of lifechanging events? Unless one is naturally OCD, I highly doubt many would keep such lists.

Besides, once we get to the other side of something difficult, the list wouldn’t really help us as much as one would think. You’re far different than you were before it began, so the list isn’t for you anymore… it was for the person you used to be.

So, now what do I do? No list! No DIY how-to video is going help! Ya, ya, ya… I can easily slip back into the rhythm of a clean house, cooking, baking, and errands, no problem. But, beyond those things, I guess I feel sort of lost at sea, so to speak!

When I saw this mornings prompt it made me laugh. I laughed because the answer I’d been searching for has been staring me right in the face, all along. Just last night I prayed that God would give me a purpose!

It took so long to get here, I truly don’t have a clue what I should be doing now! Sure, I could write the second volume of my fiction series, but haven’t yet started. I aught to do more with all of my little Barnyard shorts, but as most of you are full grown adults, it’s not really meant for WordPress anymore. That would mean going to YouTube with all the babes, but I’d be doing it by myself… alone. I want to write, not produce… I’m a storyteller, not a publisher! Besides, at the end of the day, is it what God desires?

I’m not saying that God is disapproving of anything I write, but am I putting it before His purpose for my life? I can still write stories, as I’m confident that God blesses the work of my hands. My dilemma is that right now, I can’t tell what I should be doing, which is making me feel very nonproductive in every direction.

Don’t worry though, for God has me firmly placed within his hand! In the deepest part of my soul, I hear God remind me that faith calls each of us to walk forward in His calling, even if we don’t know all the details.

Also, I do believe that I’m well established in His purpose, whether I know it or not! Even when I feel lost, or adrift within His purpose… He promises me that I’m in it!

While I may currently be at the don’t have any details part of my journey, I walk in faith, believing that when God asks a thing of me… He always, always, always provides what is needed to be of service!

Til I know more of what God desires for my path, I’m gonna just wing it with the writing. If I write too much about all the babes, the barnyard, or high seas adventures, so be it!

Besides, when have I ever done anything plain or ordinary? That would be boring…

How will I…

Wiwohka3 Comments

The question isn’t why… it isn’t when, who or even where. I’ve been thinking on this, of late. Whenever a person goes through troubled waters, so to speak, a great many of those questions occupy their mind. Unfortunately, those questions don’t often see a viable answer.

Sometimes, maybe the real useful question to ask is “How?” I realize that it’s a rather unusual one word question, but if you think about it, all the other questions were also one word queries.

Since I tend to spend most of my time on the water, with a good many stretches of rough rapids and storms, I finally got sick of all the other questions, as they never really do me any good until after the fact.

This time… I’m finding a breakthrough!

This time… How?

How will I hold?

How will I rest?

How will I stand?

How will I exercise my faith?

How will I use all that truth I’ve been reading about?

How will I reflect my trust in God?

How will I express all the peace, hope, love, faith, forgiveness and generosity of heart that he has been creating within me?

How will I bend the knee?

How will I lay before the throne?

The One I believe in has been working on my behalf from the beginning, so it’s not a question of when, where, who, or why for me any longer, but how…

To answer the how,

I will hold with grace…

I will rest in complete peace…

I will stand tall…

I will share my faith with you, by speaking of all my journey, whether it is calm, harsh, beautiful, or painfully ugly…

That’s the only way that I can reflect my trust in Him…

My stories and journal entries are how I express all the good fruits that He produces within my heart for you…

I will bend the knee to the God of ages, surrendering to His rule and authority over my life, no matter where I must go, what I must endure for however long I must endure it, and regardless of why!

How?

How can I think this way, say these things, and actually stand in the face of this overwhelming mountain? I’ll tell you how…

The power of surrender, that’s how!

All that my Creator asks of me is surrender to his will, plan and purpose… and I show my obedience and complete surrender in all those HOWS… just sayin!

When you are in the darkest moments of your journey, remember…

Hold, have peace, stand tall, speak only that which is good, edifying and hopeful, trust in the one who gave you life, and no matter what, always remember that your stories are important to others… you are important! Life’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, so we have to choose who we want to be as we get through it… or better yet, how we want to get through it!

My name is Wiwohka for a reason…

Wiwohka5 Comments

I may not be meant for friendship, I may not be meant for family, but when I pass by, I will leave my mark on you

For some it will be good, for some bad… but you WILL know that I have been there

If God is for me… I don’t care what you think of me

When I said that I would stand on my faith in God all the way to the end… I meant it! It’s easy to spout scripture from a pulpit, claim God’s miraculous power from your armchair, and wax poetic about a spirit filled life from a hot tub, but try doin it from the gates of hell… I dare you!

When you finally pass beyond the words shooting out of your mouth, the singing of heavenly hymns, and dancing for Jesus in front of the masses, you get to the plane of daily existence in the presence of the almighty God of ages… yeah, Him! You wait for your daily bread from meal to meal, you listen for his voice in the utter silence of abandonment. When you can look only to Him for each and every breath that you need to live, it is oddly peaceful.

Jesus sits with me through the endless hours of waiting, the closed doors and dead ends… its rather ugly right now, with no joyful or praiseworthy news to regale you with, or pretty cookies to hand out. These waters are pretty rough and roaring just now, so it has taken all I have to write anything at all. Boy, it’s harder than I thought it would be to write down my feelings without saying some rather nasty and lethal remarks about things… sheesh!

Yes, it’s really bad right now, and no, I’m not going to speak on it… at least not til we’re beyond this part of the journey. The actual fight for survival puts one in a compromised emotional state, bringing out responses that you never knew you were capable of… so it’s best not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, trust me! You know why? Not so much to be nice to the folks hurting you, but to act honorably before God… to please Him and Him alone!

I could disappear today without a trace, leaving you to wonder where I went for a day or so, but you’d move on soon, as I’m nothing more than an entry in an online journal that anyone can read…

… but to God, I am someone specific, like no other on this planet, someone very special and sought after… He foreknew of my birth, my life, my failures, my successes, my wrongs, my rights… I am perfect in my imperfection, beautiful in my brokenness, wanted, cherished, and never ever forgotten or rejected for being who I am…

I am Wiwohka, with a heart that rushes, rages, and powerfully flows toward the home that awaits me… this world is NOT my home, but I will walk through it with as much grace as I can muster… to put a smile on my heavenly father’s face… to make my Creator proud of the work that He has, and is doing in my life… that is enough!

This site is most likely going to go down, as things are financially at the end for this leg of my journey, but don’t lose hope because God is leading me somewhere so that’s not a bad thing. There are a number of books still to be written… even if God is the only one to ever read them.

Rough Waters…

Wiwohka9 Comments

If one were to ask me how I might describe my thoughts and emotions right now, I can only say that it’s very dark and strangely unfamiliar. We’ve been wandering from motel to motel with all that’s left of our life packed into the back of our car. Feeling like you’ve been completely forgotten and overlooked by those promising to provide a resource, quite honestly, feels gut wrenching!

We were given our voucher, but then informed that it still had to be ported back to another county before we could use it. Within a day of getting the voucher, our paperwork simply vanished into the system. By the grace of God, and my husbands quick thinking, we drove two cities away from where we started to find an apartment that already passed the required inspections, which takes up to 45 days, normally. Doing things this way avoids having to wait up to 3 weeks for the portal process.

All the papers are in, application filled out… and now we wait! It could be a day… or up to several weeks for the apartment to accept our application. Though this has been a nightmare, and I will most likely never speak of it in any detail, at no time have I felt abandoned by my God! Let’s just say that this part of our journey has called for all of my faith, fully in action! And, as it says in the bible, I shall count it all joy!

God chooses my path, and in scripture it tells us that He knows our going out and our lying down. It also says that he is familiar with all our ways. If God allows me to experience these things, then there’s learning that needs to be done, and that’s growth! Of this I’m certain…growth is good, even though it can sometimes be difficult or painful.

It’s true, you know, that saying about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. There’s only one thing I might add to that phrase, and it’s this:… it’s our choice as to whether that strength will be fueled by faith, hope, and love, or just anger, bitterness and hatred. Each path will leave you changed, but you do have a choice in which way to climb your mountains. Personally, I desire to grow stronger on the way up, through, or around these mountains. When God calls my name… I’m going to be on my feet!

Monday Messages…

Wiwohka11 Comments

It sure has been a journey these last few years, to say the least!

We’ve gone from, losing our home and all we owned during the COVID Shutdown, to living in an RV for three years (the last year had no working toilet or shower, nor any hot water). And here we are now, spending the last four months in a motel room, awaiting a housing voucher. So, ya… it’s been a journey!

Well, guess what?

We’ve been approved!!!

I know this is only the first part of the actual process, but it’s a start!

Now, we must attend a special orientation class, before we can actually be presented with the needed voucher. The class is on the 18th and our last approved night in this motel is the 17th, so it’ll be a little dicey between the time of getting said voucher and getting into an appropriate housing situation. But hey, God’s the one driving this bus, right?!

My job is to simply wait until the bus stops, gather myself together when the door opens, and step out in faith! Why do some folks think that the hard part is walking through the door, or stepping out in faith when you can’t see what’s there? Personally, I’ve learned that the hardest part is the waiting…

Tick tock, tick tock…

The silence of waiting can be deafening, at times.

The thing that I’m learning is, mountains take time to move over, under, around, or through… depending on what God wants you to see, learn, and/or do along the journey.

Anyways, if you are curious how we got here from the top of this post, I’ve brought you thus far, so that I might say thank you! Thank you for loving me, for praying for me, and for sticking with me through the thick of things, if you will. You’ve made this whole excruciating difficult process, a great deal easier! Your comments, laughter, and visits to the lobby have been so vitally instrumental in the encouragement department, if that makes any sense.

It’s funny, the prompt this morning was asking what I’d do with good news? Well, I already did my praying and praising God for his faithful provision. Now’s the part where I share said good news, celebrate, and have a grateful heart!

The first place I wanted to bring my joyful news was here, in this very lobby! I thought to share it with all of you… my family!

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka3 Comments

Before you start wondering where the Matter’s of the Heart episodes went, they’re not gone… I’m not about to let you off the hook that easy!

Honestly, I think the time spent away from those writings has been for a divine purpose, really! I believe that in certain areas of our journey, God chooses to have us take some constructive detours, allowing us to learn things that are necessary for doing a thing well… I mean really well!

No! I don’t, in fact, believe that everything I write has to have some earth shattering prophetic word in it, though I strive to write things of His goodness in my life, in the hopes that it might help others. What I meant by the idea of doing a thing well, may have far more to do with my personal spiritual growth, than about whatever I may or may not write for others once I’m led to continue that series. Does that make sense?

Over the last few months, I’ve tried not to share too much about our situation, as it is far from secure, unfortunately. While we are no closer to receiving our vitally important voucher, needed for applying to any and all available locations, I know that God is aware of it all… there is absolutely nothing that worry will change about this fact. Faith, is believing in that which you cannot see! I have faith because I know what God can do… not the history part, as that is written in His word.

I’m talking about the fact that I breath air!

I still remember the darkness, the cold of night, and the loneliness of wandering alone all those years ago.

According the scriptures, God knew of this child before the foundations of the earth came to be, and she was chosen by the creator, himself! From the depths of the earth, he saw my unformed body… you really need to read Psalm 139. Then, I suppose that you can decide for yourselves about that history part.

Personally, I’m certain that God was in that hospital room on the day of my birth, awful as it was!

When you’re loved that deeply, there is no way to deny the power of love and restoration that comes only from the Almighty! Remembering all that particular history, has allowed me to fully trust in that which I cannot see, here today!

While I don’t have any actual proof to give you, aside from the fact that I survived the darkness, and am capable of having a heart of grace, forgiveness, and miraculous transformation, thus far.

My faith is far stronger than any fear of the unknown… I know who holds me within the palm of His hand!

Just sayin…

Live Wire…

Wiwohka3 Comments

Sometimes, we find ourselves in a place that appears to have no end in sight. Surrounded by darkness and uncertainty, all one can do is wait and listen for direction! Waiting can be so much work, what with everything being out of your reach, and all. Where does that leave a person, when already exhausted from all that waiting and worrying?

Oddly, the answer seems rather silly when you’ve worn yourself out with the overthinking bit. Are you ready for it? Some of you may already know the word that’s about to come out of my mouth this morning, but for those don’t, the word is stand!

Stand on the promises of God’s word, and simply hold yourself steady… that’s it… just let Him carry you… when you cannot see beyond the darkness! You know how they say it’s always darkest before the dawn? They are spot on… and yet, not!

Yes, the darkness is there to block your vision, but only what’s further than you can reach out and grab… I understand that part because I’m in the heart of it, just now. In truth, it’s actually very bright where I’m currently standing, mainly because God is pure light… and I’m resting just beneath his shadow!

By all rights, I should be mentally broken from all the isolation… but my mind is strong. We’re not much closer to finding housing, but I don’t much care… worrying won’t change anything about the outcome, so why waste the effort?

I suppose that I could get discouraged enough to stop writing, but it’s the one thing I CAN actively choose to do… For my God, for the joy of it and of course, for those who visit the Lobby.

As for all the unpublished everything I’ve been stockpiling… whether they ever see a printer doesn’t really matter, not if I believe that God’s got me in the palm of his hand. He is proud of the things that I put my heart into, which gives me more fulfillment than anything the world’s approval could ever offer!

Barnyard Business WILL become something… I’m just not sure what. Brutus is finished and I’m going to move forward with the other four novels belonging to that series… even if God is the only one to EVER see them… I don’t care!

I was made for these days, I think. God called me… by name!

He chose me!

This place I am currently in, it’s nothing more than a training ground, a holding place. I am assured of this, as I truly believe in the timing of things… all things!

I’m writing all these things down to hopefully encourage another, and honestly, for my own reassurance, as well. Quite probably, the Holy Spirit that dwells within me has prompted the writing out of my thoughts, so I can then accept the truth in them. Isn’t it kind of funny how writing out your feelings can help you sort things… you know, accepting the truths that are there, and sweeping off the debris of fear and confusion.

When it comes down to the heart of things, what we believe in as our truth, is the only thing that no one can take away… unless we allow it!

So, when I find myself somewhere between the darkness of night and the coming of dawn, surrounded by uncertainties, I choose to stand on the promises of my Creator… he left us the scriptures, which are His living and breathing words… HIS TRUTHS!

This is what I believe, therefore, I shall stand… I shall stand until my last breath if He asks it!

Thursday Thoughts…

Wiwohka20 Comments

Today is this child’s Birthday, and for the first time in all my 56 years I awoke with a plan to celebrate it…. really spend the whole of the day in thankfulness for every single year of this journey!

I am loved!

I am whole!

I am forgiven!

God has given me such purpose!

I truly believe that I have a hope and a future, so I’m gonna celebrate it… all day!

I remember when my kids were young and I would escape for a breather… the whole time I was gone, all I could think about was if they were ok without me being there. I hoped they missed me but worried they would be sad. In the end, I felt better if I just went back home… silly, I know!

In a funny twisty way of thinking, I feel the same way about you! I felt like God was telling me to take today and do whatever I wished for my birthday, so I’d planned to take a break from WP and maybe read a book, or something.

From there, I thought that I would just pop in to check for messages… maybe post a few pics and call it good, right?!

Ever hear of that children’s book, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”, about one thing leading to another? Yah…. so here we are people, two hours into “Just” checking my mail!

When it get’s down to the heart of things… I like being here on WordPress, with you folks. I like your stories, your poetry, and your hearts… you draw me back to the lobby every morning and I end up hanging out in there all day. Why? Because, you visit at all different times of my day, being that many hail from countries around this beautiful globe!

Over this last year the lobby has become like a cozy coffee room, with visitors dropping by throughout the day. Many of you come from such a distance to share your views, your culture and your talents.

In an imaginative way, WordPress is like a village. There are streets lined with little cafe’s that overflow with romantic poets and gifted musicians. Other avenues are filled with book shops that offer some amazing literary artists. Down a few alleyways you might find those in need of encouragement, prayer and understanding. We even have our own business class! There’s newspapers that offer reviews of everything from movies and music, to authors and artists. Then there are the retailers, and magazine stands that offer comic books, craft ideas and food recipes.

Folks might share political views, opinions on the market, or their personal views about things ranging from birth to death… basically, a bit of everything!

That’s where Journey With Me fits in!

You’ll find the lobby nestled between several bookstore/coffee shops near the local park. Every community needs a bit of everything to keep the balance, right?! My hope is that the lobby can be of benefit to this community, no matter who you are or how you fit in to this village, as I’ve labeled it.

The front of the lobby holds an open doorway… there are no doors to open or close. Leave your attitude, your opinion, and any unhealthy motives at the doorway! The lobby does not produce judgement or push an agenda… it’s my heart, and my way of reflecting God’s love in the only way I can, at this time.

You just wait… my prayer is that perhaps one day I can do more, because deep in my heart, I believe that I was born for these days, for a bigger purpose. God is calling me for something more!

Warning!!! I am filled with the Holy Spirit and am highly contagious, so being in close proximity to the love of God might make you start doing strange things! In my defense, I am such a sucker for the whole grace, forgiveness and eternal love thing… I just cant help it!

Sorry, not sorry…

Here, you better take a cookie, just in case…

Live Wire…

Wiwohka3 Comments

With things being what they are currently, there’s been a great amount of obstacles, roadblocks, and dead ends to navigate! In all of it, I’ve felt a deeper sense of peace and assurance than ever before, oddly. There’s still no definite answers or directions, and things look rather impossible to overcome… but are they, really?

If God is who he says he is, if His word and promises are true, and if I am living and walking beneath His shadow… there should be no doubt, no fear, nor anxious thoughts, right? Ok, so yes, there will be moments when we feel some self-doubt, causing us to pause and assess things. A close friend wrote about this very subject the other day, so it’s been on my mind ever since. I agreed with him that some healthy self-doubt now and again is good for us. Sort of like safety checks!

It’s funny because, not more than a day or so later while I was reading in the book of Isaiah, I ran across a passage that caught hold of my heart.

“People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30: 19-21

When we pause from self-doubt, where do we see God in that moment? We are most often looking forward for signs, markers, and a big open doorway, right? God should be straight ahead of us and pulling us up with both arms, I thought! Why can’t we see Him waving a huge sign for us, leading us onward, and wooing us toward His path?

Here’s where the passage in Isaiah hit home for me… God isn’t in front of us, but behind us! He is the encourager, the Counselor; guiding and teaching us as we walk each day of our journey… that’s where He cultivates our faith! Sure, we will fail at times, but we are strengthened through the getting up and going onward parts.

Do not be fearful of falling, for He is there to catch us!

When your baby first walks, don’t you hover in front of and above them, until they get their balance? But, then you move out of the way, right? Where do you move? Most parent’s move to the side or behind, allowing their child to safely gain confidence and skill. So begins their journey of growth and development that will carry them along towards adulthood!

I think that’s how God teaches us, his children, how to spiritually walk as adult human beings.

It’s only a thought…

God Bless!