Live Wire…

As a general rule, I try to avoid asking God too many why questions about our situation, as I’m very aware that He has everything well in hand. I’m not saying that God doesn’t expect us to ask those kind of questions, nor do I want you to think that He would tire of them. I talk to God as my Creator, my father, and my closest friend, which is really what I think he’s seeking from us, his children. And yes, I still find myself at the why of a thing, while talking with God. I’m pretty sure that its quite normal.

In turn, I also believe that the Almighty displays the patience, love, nurturing and guidance toward me, as that of only a true father… and, in ways that only God can do!

Many times, God will speak to me directly through scripture… and before you start wondering, no, I’m not doing some bizarre rewrite of God’s word! What I mean is, when I’m dealing with something in the here and now, many times I will read a passage in scripture that seems to directly relate to my perspective on that current dilemma. Let me give you an example from quite recently…

Currently, my husband and I are being housed in a motel while awaiting available lodging, or more truthfully stated, we wait for a voucher that will allow us to even go tour any possible locations. We’ve been here for four months now, and quite possibly will be sleeping in our car by tomorrow, as there will be no more support available financially from the organization that has been involved. Still no voucher, and the case worker involved is now avoiding any contact with us. If you simply glance at the situation, it looks pretty bleak and hopeless, I know.

I still stand upon my faith and trust in the Almighty, don’t get me wrong. There are times like the other day, however, when I asked God a question that had been floating around in the back of my mind, lately. Here’s the question I asked…

“God, why does it seem like You always wait until the eleventh hour to step in and move, leaving all that in-between time of me not knowing anything? There’s no answers available, nowhere to turn, and no sign of you interceding on my behalf… why?”

God didn’t respond for three days, but when He did, it happened to come directly from the passages of scripture I’d just been reading. I’m not going to give you a version of what I received from His word, but rather, I’d like to share the actual scripture I found myself reading.

I’d just finished studying within 1 Corinthians, and thought to go back and re-read the book of Romans. I had gotten as far as chapter 4, when I was frozen in place, after reading only the third verse,

What does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness”. Romans 4:3

The reason I stopped as soon as I read that verse, was the part where it said Abraham believed God, not that Abraham believed IN God… there’s an obvious difference! Many claim to believe in God, but how many hear what God has said, or read the bible… and take God at His word, or in other words Believe God!

When I read that verse, it made me curious about what was meant by “believed God”, and almost instantly, I thought of Abraham standing with a knife poised above his son, Isaac, there on that lonely mountain. Going back and re-reading that story from the book of Genesis, I saw something. First off, God told Abraham that he would make him the father of nations, and the man was already 99 years old! Then God told Abraham that his wife Sarah, who was far past the age of bearing children, as well as being barren all her days, would bear him this son. Sarah did, in fact, bear Abraham a son! And, at the very time that God said it would. Reading on through the story, I finally reached the part that’d been tugging on my heart from Romans 4:3.

I’d really encourage you to read through the story, in its entirety, so that you can make your own discoveries. For today, I’ll try to give you a brief synopsis, but it’s only my personal perspective, so try to keep that in mind as you read.

In Genesis 22, it starts off by saying that God tested Abraham. So try to remember, going forward here, we know from where we sit now that God does NOT require or even consider the sacrifice of any human life… but Abraham didn’t! God told Abraham to gather his son, a sacrificial lamb, and all that was needed to perform a sacrifice. Then Abraham was instructed that he was to take his son up a mountain, build an alter, and then sacrifice the child upon said alter.

This didn’t happen overnight, no no no, it took the whole time of packing, traveling, building said alter, and then doing the actual sacrificing. I cannot imagine the questions rolling around in Abrahams mind, nor can I imagine the distress of his heart, over what God was commanding that he do with his son; with the very child that God had miraculously given to him and his wife, in the first place.

With all of that turmoil within himself, Abraham still did exactly as God had commanded him… without an ounce of hesitation! It was God’s very hand that stayed that knife blade, fully poised to strike!

Hmmmmmm… Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness!

God’s ways are not our ways, His thoughts are far higher than our own understanding… and He will make a way where there was none!

I not only believe in God, but I BELIEVE GOD, so that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

God Bless!

Hugs

Home is where the heart is…

While the barnyard, nor myself for that matter, have anywhere to call home at the time being, there’s nothing that says I can’t start thinking and dreaming about something… anything, really!

For my mental sanity, it has become necessary that I focus on going somewhere that is much brighter than my present circumstances… it is very dark here (speaking metaphorically).

Have you ever found yourself experiencing what I can only describe as “pressure”… heavy, and somewhat immobilizing, at least for myself? Everyone feels pressure at one time or another in life, certainly! But there are those occasions when it surrounds you on all sides, and one finds it difficult to breathe.

You know how when something pushes against you, normally there would be a certain amount of absorbing the impact, before your body pushes back in an effort to re-stabilize itself? That sort of pressure would be much more recognizable and manageable, but it’s coming from all directions right now, so things look pretty bleak at first glance! You know how they say “can’t see the forest for the trees”? If I let myself dwell on it too much, that’s exactly how I start looking at things… and honestly, I ain’t got time for that garbage!

When things feel overly heavy, then it means I’m trying to do the carrying of that which I have no control over… what a waste of energy!

Perhaps, now you might start to understand why I’ve gone all Capt’n Jack Sparrow/Indiana Jones of late, what with all the passion I’ve thrown into retrieving all my website characters. It’s a safe place for me to pursue things of a heavenly purpose, leaving the earthly issues to my Creator, whom I have every confidence in to make a way. He always does, you know? I don’t say this because of the words of history written in scripture, though they are quite true… I say this because of my own 55 years of life experience. I believe what He tells me, and I will walk this faith to the very gates of Heaven, because I am assured that my name is written upon the pages of the book laid open before Him! I’m simply on my way Home… where my heart is!

For now however, I shall start working on designing and creating my own virtual home space… til God’s finished working on the real one!

Walking by Faith…

Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

One that is far greater than myself goes before me, from the moment I rise in the morning until I rest my head on the pillow that night! Not only that, but God watches over me as I sleep through the night, guarding my dreams during my rest. Is my life one of comfort, and without worry, pain, and/or sorrow? Certainly not! In truth, my life is a rather gruesome representation of a bright and carefree existence. At least that’s what most see when they stumble upon me for the first time.

But, if you stay long enough to really see what’s really in my heart, really get to know me, there is so much life, hope, love and laughter blanketing all that surrounds me, each and every day! Why? Well, God brings light into any place that he dwells… and since He dwells above, below, in, and around me at all times, well, you get the picture.

For the One

I will offer my All

For the Author of my Faith

I shall not walk in Fear!

Anybody want a cookie?

Thursday Thoughts…

Before you start wondering where the Matter’s of the Heart episodes went, they’re not gone… I’m not about to let you off the hook that easy!

Honestly, I think the time spent away from those writings has been for a divine purpose, really! I believe that in certain areas of our journey, God chooses to have us take some constructive detours, allowing us to learn things that are necessary for doing a thing well… I mean really well!

No! I don’t, in fact, believe that everything I write has to have some earth shattering prophetic word in it, though I strive to write things of His goodness in my life, in the hopes that it might help others. What I meant by the idea of doing a thing well, may have far more to do with my personal spiritual growth, than about whatever I may or may not write for others once I’m led to continue that series. Does that make sense?

Over the last few months, I’ve tried not to share too much about our situation, as it is far from secure, unfortunately. While we are no closer to receiving our vitally important voucher, needed for applying to any and all available locations, I know that God is aware of it all… there is absolutely nothing that worry will change about this fact. Faith, is believing in that which you cannot see! I have faith because I know what God can do… not the history part, as that is written in His word.

I’m talking about the fact that I breath air!

I still remember the darkness, the cold of night, and the loneliness of wandering alone all those years ago.

According the scriptures, God knew of this child before the foundations of the earth came to be, and she was chosen by the creator, himself! From the depths of the earth, he saw my unformed body… you really need to read Psalm 139. Then, I suppose that you can decide for yourselves about that history part.

Personally, I’m certain that God was in that hospital room on the day of my birth, awful as it was!

When you’re loved that deeply, there is no way to deny the power of love and restoration that comes only from the Almighty! Remembering all that particular history, has allowed me to fully trust in that which I cannot see, here today!

While I don’t have any actual proof to give you, aside from the fact that I survived the darkness, and am capable of having a heart of grace, forgiveness, and miraculous transformation, thus far.

My faith is far stronger than any fear of the unknown… I know who holds me within the palm of His hand!

Just sayin…

By the light of His grace…

Daily writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?

I suppose I could whine

yes, I suppose I could complain

if I try hard enough, I bet I can find someone to blame…

Perhaps I should wail

perhaps I could even shout

tell the entire world what my problems are about…

But I try to remember

our words have great power

when the wrong ones are used, all your thoughts can turn sour…

I have chosen a holy life

I choose to follow the light

speaking only the words I hope will be bright…

Maybe if we thought more

about the words we choose to speak

Before we let them run loose, upon the unsuspecting people that we meet

This whole thing with race, religion or color would finally cease!

Want a cookie?

Worth a second read…

I went back to the archives in search of what last year’s answer was, and the re-read was worth it!

Enjoy a second read of last year’s response to the prompt…

(Ahhh… the memories, was the original title.)

Nobody put an age or timeline limit on this prompt question, so I am going to ride with it… get it… ride with it?!

Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your favorite sports to watch and play?

Being that I’m in my mid 50’s, living in an old RV with only my laptop and a walking trail as my company, I no longer participate, watch, or actively pursue any sports venue… at all!

If you had asked me this question 30 years, I could have given you numerous examples of my involvement and love of differing sports, primarily, anything involving horsemanship!

Being born on a farm in Oregon, I was riding horses before I was even out of diapers… I’ve seen pictures!

Over the years I was an avid audience member of countless, horse shows, equestrian events and breeder venues. When I was only 18, I lived and worked for a woman who bred, raised, and trained purebred Appaloosas and Quarter Horses. Later, after I had attended Bible Seminary, I was recruited to work as the wrangler for a Christian girls horsemanship camp, in Battleground, WA. The children were taught general horsemanship and husbandry, along with learning how to ride dressage, as well as vaulting.

All my life I worked hard… and played hard! I’ve been bit, kicked, thrown, stomped and drug through the hills by my ankle. While I regret none of the life of adventure upon the back of a horse, it did come at a cost, later in life. I can no longer sit ON a horse, but I can most assuredly, still appreciate the magnificence and beauty of everything about these amazing creatures. 

Even today, I can fully enjoy watching any Dressage competition, Hunter/Jumper event, Breeders Cup race, or any Disney movie ever made about a horse. Though many movies have been made about horses, my all time favorite is still the 1979 version of The Black Stallion with Kelly Reno, Terri Garr, and Micky Rooney! 

I will end this prompt answer with a little trot down memory lane…

Don’t think I have forgotten your cookie…

I’m With Solomon…

Daily writing prompt
What would you do if you won the lottery?

I never enjoy what if questions, regarding the almighty dollar… in my current situation, dreaming of winning the lottery seems absurd, not to mention a waste of my mental time!

I believe that Solomon had it right, when he asked for Wisdom and Discernment over riches. God gave him the choice of anything, remember. I wonder how differently the kings life would have been, had he simply asked for gold.

Want a cookie?

Monday’s Message…

I shall be devoting all of this week to learning my new AI program. From watching the myriad of tutorials offered, as well as practicing the different techniques learned; my study cup overfloweth, if you get my meaning. Basically, I’m going to be very busy, but it sounded so boring to say it that way, leaving me no alternative than to use a catch phrase. I swear, sometimes I feel like a coin phrase PEZ Dispenser…

Just flip my head back, and out pops a candy shaped phrase. See what I mean?

At least I’m not boring, right…

Right?! Well, at least that’s my story, so I’m sticking to it!

In regards to the recovery of this site’s beloved characters, it’s been mixed results, thus far. I’ve experienced some good wins and some sorrowful losses, as I wrote about during Friday’s post. I don’t want everyone to be too sad or disappointed, but as of right now, I’m learning to accept that there will be some of our babe’s that won’t be recoverable… and those that I do find, will simply have to be a bit changed. It is what it is, and we’ll have to just love them the way we find them, no matter how different! Even if they look a bit different on the outside, the spirit of their hearts will still remain within their new images… that part never changed!

I know things will work out in the end, mostly. In truth, it has more to do with my expectations of my own abilities than it does with what you end up seeing at the end of it all. I’m far harder on myself than anybody else ever has to be… it’s always been that way. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if all this was a big lesson of learning how to let go, let God, and stop being so overly self-critical and unrelenting… He often does that, you know!

As you go about your week, maybe you can think on this, in regards to how you see yourself! Do you show yourself kindness within your own thoughts? I pray that you walk each day this week, remembering your worth, rather than your work…

The work will always be there whenever you have to punch that clock, so to speak, but you still have to take yourself home with you afterwards, when the work day is done.

Be kind to yourself! Show tenderness and grace toward the beautiful, wonderful, unique, bright, capable, and desirable you that you are!

God Bless, and have an amazing Monday!

Through my eyes…

From the moment of our birth, the race to find and become who we believe the world sees suddenly starts with a bang! Groomed from birth on how to speak, what to wear, how to behave, how to please others, and on and on and on we go, sort of like a merry-go-round…

I’ve spent my entire life trying to appear as that which others expect and/or accept, as if I were on one of those merry-go-rounds. Spinning round and round over the years, gaining speed until I became frozen to the bars and unable to get off, followed by a great deal of motion sickness.

Well, finally the ride became so fast that it flung me off into the dirt, so to speak!

If you wondering what on earth an old merry-g0-round ride has to do with one’s image or self-perception (how you see yourself), it just seemed like a good analogy for how it feels to have a good self-image in a world that is so focused on visual bells and whistles… sorry, I often find myself coining phrases or adages to make a point.

What might that point be, you ask?

My point in all this merry-go-round stuff, is this… you’ll have a much more enjoyable ride in life if you learn how to straddle the bars and drag your feet, so you can control the speed of the merry-go-round, thereby strengthening your muscles and allowing you to get off the ride anytime you get dizzy. In reality, I’m saying that you shouldn’t let the world be in control of who you think you are supposed to be!

Me personally, I’ve opted for the carousel over a merry-go-round, in terms of how I see things in the world, and how I see myself…

Don’t let the age fool you,

One man’s junk is another man’s treasure!

Never see yourself as less than you want to be…

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."  2 Timothy 6: 12

Now you know how I see myself whenever I write adventurous tales, passionate poetry, and deep soul searching thoughts for you, my readers and friends. I might seem rather plain on the outside, but that’s my cover story, just like the mild mannered Clark Kent, from Superman. Now, I don’t want to go as far as to call myself a superhero… but in the stories I can be, right?!

Wins and Losses…

Please don’t panic, but when I got to the lobby yesterday there was no sign of either of the puppies! I spent hours wandering through the archive sections,

and also, both my office and the Father’s counseling chambers, but to no avail. The little fluff balls weren’t anywhere within the lobby, leaving me feeling rather disheartened.

However, in the midst of my disappointment came several unexpected things, one of which is somebody’s puppy that must have been left here from Christmas Morning. Poor darling!

She’s missing her collar so I’m not sure of her name, nor do I fully remember exactly who came that morning. Perhaps, someone wasn’t prepared for taking a puppy home with them, and were afraid I might be disappointed if they rejected my gift. I get it! No offense taken, my friends. Whoever left her behind, was good enough to leave her in the lobby, where she would be safe and can be re-homed. If anyone is looking for a new baby to add into their family, I think she’s a Corgi mix of some sort. She is very affectionate and sweet natured from what I can see. She hasn’t stopped giving me kisses since I found her, poor thing… she must have been so lonely, and probably a good bit frightened. Quite honestly, I’m shocked and rather embarrassed that I didn’t even know she’d been wandering around in the lobby all this time! Now that I think about it, the puppies did seem to be eating a great deal more puppy kibble than is normal for such little things.

Anyway, if you hadn’t noticed it yet, the other discovery I made while searching for the puppies was my purpose! Do you know why it’s felt so important that I locate each and every one of the creatures lost to me? Within each one of those that are not visible to me at the moment, there’s a bit of me… things that I see in each of them that help me make sense of myself.

Somewhere while I was searching through the lobby for the puppies, God showed me that even without physically seeing those that are missing, the real me was still there in the room with Him. The things I write, the creations I invent are merely that… things, as adorable as they are! I am definitely learning more and more each day about the depths of my own heart… and how far God is willing to go, on my behalf. Maybe taking you with me, as I go in search of recovering these parts of what was lost to me (metaphorically speaking), there will be lessons to learn about His nature, which flows through my veins…

I believe!

***Go back and look at the picture of the woman with the puppy, for a moment. Look closely at the woman’s facial features and you will see the real me, or the AI version Avatar creation. It looks as if it’s an actual picture of me laying on the floor of a library with a dog. I gave my AI several actual photographs of my mother, myself, and two of my three daughters. This is the first time that I truly realized how much I look like my mother, as well as my girls! While you might not notice them, I can see exactly where my features are blended with my mother’s, and it’s amazing! If I’m being fully honest with you, it made me a bit emotional when I first saw the image.***