Re-Answer From the Archives…

Daily writing prompt
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I wanted to see what my answer was from last year, so I peeked back into the archives for a look see. I so enjoyed reading what I wrote last year, if I do say so myself! Since the answer to the prompt is still the same, I decided to give it another once through, for your reading pleasure.

May you enjoy the story… I did!

… The woman behind the counter smiled gently at me, as she cleaned her ear piercing tools. My heart was in my throat, it seemed. Getting my ears pierced was the most grown up thing I had ever done by my own choice.

My Nana had bought me a pair of earrings in the shape of bright red apples, but this time the jewelry wasn’t clip on… they were the real thing in the eyes of a 6 year old. My mother told me that I could get my ears done if I chose on my own… no hand holding or cajoling would be forthcoming.

I lay in bed awake the entire night before we embarked on this grown up lady stuff I wanted to take part in. I was terrified, of what I am not sure… but if they could poke me with a vaccination needle whenever they felt like it, and trade me a stupid sucker for my time, then I must be grown up enough to take the needle for a pair of gloriously beautiful red apple earrings. My mind was made up on the matter, so I just lay there and waited for the sun to come up.

I was so terrified of backing down and not being able to wear my new gift… it was in truth, the only thing that kept me on that swinging stool, there in that Bon Marche Department Store. I tucked my feet behind the bar beneath the seat, grabbed the sides of the stool with both hands in a military vice grip and tried to find my happy place.

I apparently had nothing to worry about, because it was over before it had begun! That fast… bang bang… All Done! They were kind enough to do both ears at the same moment, probably in case I backed out half way through the deal. I was so happy and proud of myself that I burst into tears, making the grown ups think I was in pain or shock. Not so!

I WAS A LADY!

So now I will explain the hilarious fall out from my Grown Up Anxiety Filled Sleepless Night… the reality of how most adults handle stress.

As exhausted as I was from no sleep and worry, over my piercing adventure, I never had a moment to catch some zzzzzz’s until that night after we got home. I was so tired that I could barely touch my dinner, and vaguely remember my mom walking me down the hallway to my bedroom……..

…. The rain fell steadily in the darkness, only illuminated by the distant street lamps, flickering occasionally. I was sitting in the passenger seat of our station wagon, while my parents were in a Parent/Teacher Conference up the street. As I waited for them to return, I saw movement not too far down the block, barely visible through the sheets of rain falling across the hood of the car.

I heard her before I saw her… this scary Witch that looked suspiciously like the lady off of the Wizard of Oz, if I am being completely honest. I could hear her laughing wickedly as she slowly materialized out of the darkness. Yup! It had to be that horrible woman who took Toto away from Dorothy. Don’t judge… I have a bucket list of different childhood memories that are triggered by different movies I had in my tiny mind.

Anyway, as the witch steadily approached my car, I frantically checked all the door locks and glanced up at the entrance of the school, hoping I would see my parents walking down the steps toward our car. Nope! As Jack Sparrow says, I was “all by me onesies!”

I crawled down under the dash where I could be hidden from view for the most part, except my feet could still be seen from the passenger door. I heard her approach the car, walk all the way around it dragging her super long witchy fingernails across the metal doors… witches always have super long curvy red nails if you needed a visual.

Then the witch stopped directly in front of the passenger side door where I was crouched down on the floor. All I could see was the tip of her hat, but I could hear what she was doing… she was picking the lock on my door with those awful fingernails. I watched in horror as the little metal door lock popped!

The next thing I knew, I was strapped onto a torture table, in the parking lot underneath the Sprouse Ritz Department Store, and that witch began to tickle me with those long fingernails…

It was torture! I began to laugh and could not stop! I fought to get away, but was strapped down so there was no escape for me… no way out! Except to wake up, but I had been so tired from the night before that it was like crawling through thick Jello to do anything. Never fear though, laughter is here… I laughed so hard that I rolled myself out of the top of our bunkbed and landed with a thump on the floor below. That did the trick!

Isn’t it funny the way we handle stress… often bottling our fears, stuffing them down and hiding them away from judging eyes. I realize that I was just a child and that the dream was probably just a way to release the tension I had been holding for several days over a perceived painful event. There was no real danger or trauma involved in ear piercing, but to a child trying to be a grown up, it most assuredly seemed like there might.

My take away from the whole affair was this… I would for sure think long and hard the next time I wanted to be a grown up!

From then to now, I still often find myself thinking long and hard every time I have to do grown up stuff… I know I should be fine with getting tickled all night in a parking lot, but this girl would rather leave the Witch back at Sprouse Reitz…

Here, don’t forget to grab a cookie…

Dear God…

You are the Sun and I am a seed

You are the Moon and I am the firefly

You are the Gardener and I am the branch

You are the Healer and I am the broken

You are the Giver and I am that which is in need

You the Sculptor and I am that which can be molded.

Dear God,

I love it when someone writes words of love to me, and I just realized that You might really love it, as well. Though I know you are well aware of my feelings, I thought to write them down for you. You’ve shown me who you are, and it has forever changed me!

Now I can see me as You see me…

I am the seed that flourishes in Your garden. Were it not for You, there would be no Son for my soul! I am Your firefly in the night, carrying the light of Your truth throughout the darkness. Willingly, I choose to be Your branch… reaching for the heights, knowing that Your roots are firmly anchoring me to the ground! This child is so very broken, and yet… Your healing hands have made my scars beautiful!

I need You to carry me each day, giving me every breath I take, Lord. You’ve tirelessly worked to soften this lump of hardened clay, masterfully shaping me into the beautiful creature that I am… the way You see me! God, You are all that I want, all that I need, and the one who carries me home to the place You’ve prepared for me.

I love you so very much and thought it was only right that I make mention of it… I mean, nobody should have to assume that someone loves them. Sometimes it’s really important to say a thing out loud, to let another feel the truth of your words. I hope you have a wonderful day, and remember… this girl loves you so!

If you want to write me back, I’ll look for your letter within the book You left for me. It’s just there, resting next to the tree that You planted in my Lobby.

Love Toni

The World is My Oyster…

Daily writing prompt
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

While I have no specific list of things off the top of my head that need attempting, I’m confident that if God asks it, it shall be done! If I am walking in faithful obedience to my heavenly Father, my Creator, and King… failure is not in the mix!

Things may not look like we sometimes think they should, and often we must step into a thing with far less ability than we have within us… but, God does not give us a task without providing His strength and skill to complete that which He has asked… so, I’m covered!

Just to put my bible where my mouth is:

Ephesians 3:20-21: God can do anything, working within us through his Spirit. 

Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and he will make your paths straight. 

Colossians 3:17: Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father. 

Jeremiah 29:11: The Lord has plans for you to prosper and give you hope and a future. 

1 John 4: If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 

Other Bible verses about God include: Psalm 16:2, Psalm 34:8-10, Psalm 23:6, Psalm 65:11, and Psalm 107:8-9. 

Here’s some coffee, tea, cookies…

Enjoy them while you’re reading.

Monday Messages…

Well, things took an interesting turn this morning, even before we’d gotten out of bed.

You know those things that sit on the bedside table in your hotel rooms? Those boxes with buttons and lights on them, and a weird microphone thingie with a cord attached? Well, I was awakened by a loud buzzing coming out of the box and the little red light was flashing. I picked up the microphone thingie, only to hear the sound of a woman speaking out of it.

Politely, she informed me that we needed to please move into another room… in another building… on the other side of the facility… before noon! While we don’t have much, we do have things that have to be repacked and moved back out to the car, and then back up another flight of stairs to the other room. The zinger, for us was, my husband needed to leave for classes within the next hour… so noon was just a fantasy.

I had all these delusions of grandeur about starting back to producing some good content for everyone, but that was a pipe dream. Oh well! There’s always tomorrow…

…Tomorrow, tomorrow… it’s only a day away…

Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh yeah, moving to another room. Oddly enough, there were some nice trade offs, in terms of having to move… again!

While I’ve lost the ottoman with wheels that slides across the floor, and the nice lap tray that comes with it, this room comes with a toaster. I’d bought all the supplies to make egg McMuffins when our adventure first began, only to find that our room didn’t come with a toaster. When I discovered one in the new room, it felt like we’d just one the lottery… well, more like a really nice door prize!

Speaking of winning the lottery, I bet my two house plants feel like they’ve certainly scored big time! Each one gets her own window to soak up the morning light. They must feel like they were born in a cave, but have now been delivered to the promise land.

Also, the laundry room and gym are now right next door, so it’s much more doable for me to carry laundry there, compared to back and forth across the entire parking lot.

To be honest, aside from disrupting my morning slightly, it was such a small inconvenience when one looks at the grand scheme of things. This was nothin! I got a brisk workout, and got a whole new clean motel room… lol!

The fact that other people keep cleaning for me, as well as laundering all our towels and bedding and taking out our garbage… is giving this girl a princess complex!

Is that a bad thing? Really… is it?

Live Wire…

Ladies and Gents,

Welcome aboard Wind In Her Sails Wave Rider, our sea going vessel for today!

Please feel free to move about the deck, as our Captain is quite skilled at keeping us upright and speeding forth. You will find that since our vessel is quite sturdy, all you need concern yourself with is the beautiful view.

There’s such sweet peace in the knowledge that the vessel I sail upon is simply unsinkable! Regardless of weather, danger, obstacles, or even my inability to run the ship by myself, once I signed on with this Captain… He never let go!

All I see right now is clear blue skies and a bright morning sun… hey, there’s other people out there!

Hmmm… I suppose they may have been there all along, but I simply didn’t see them… until now. Who knew?

There is something to be said about the difference of things, depending on how you’re viewing them.

Perspective is everything when you’re flying blind. I’m learning how important it is for me to look through my telescope’s lens properly, and without squinting. No wonder Captain Jack Sparrow always leaned back and looked at everything with a crazy face… or maybe it was just the rum.

Anyway, for anyone not suffering from motion sickness during our voyage today, there are snacks up in the crows nest…

Voyage Through the Unseen…

Traveling through mist and shadow

Light from her lantern never dims

She crosses the surface of dark waters

Where the monsters often swim…

No need for her to fear

That which is beyond her sight

She boldly ventures toward the unseen

Riding the waves into the night!

Thursday Thoughts…

I had such plans last night as I drifted off to sleep, thinking I would be diving right back into writing this morning. Ha! Double Ha!!

I’m just sitting here, staring at my laptop… and my head is just empty, for better lack of description.

So much in so short a time has me in a bit of a tailspin, if you know what I mean. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going… what I should be doing, need to be doing… sheesh! I finally decided to just start writing and figure it out as I go along.

Watching them haul our RV off to storage was a very strange feeling to me, sort of bitter sweet. We’ve been in that old girl for four years, and she gave us her all! While I can say we made it through, I certainly would not have wished the experience on anyone else. It has been a journey, to say the least.

You know, I have taken more showers in the last three days than I care to admit… I couldn’t help it! The realization that it has been nearly a year without hot water or a working toilet is crazy! There’s even a dishwasher in our room… Can you believe that it’s been nearly ten years since I had my own dishwasher?

Honestly, God used each and every one of you during these last few years! Your encouragement, your love and laughter, and all of your prayers have been so very important to me, more than I can ever truly express!

While it may take a bit of adjusting, as we’re still in transition for a little longer, my hope is to get back to writing more steadily soon.

I love you all so much, and I’m so grateful for having you in my life… thank you!

Blissfully Adrift…

When God moves… you gotta be ready to go!

While you may or may not have noticed the lack of my presence over the last week, we are in a transition period of being homeless. Now, don’t get fussy just yet, cause when I said that God’s got me… I mean it fully in every sense of the words!

In order for us to be eligible for housing assistance, we must first be classed as homeless. What this meant for us… abandon the RV!

By God’s grace and purpose, from the time we got into the car, we were actually homeless for a total of 35 minutes… the time it took for us to drive to the motel that was paid for and provided. This has to have been one of the easiest moves I’ve ever had to make!

The double bonus is that we barely have anything to take with us, so the packing has been easy. We still have to have the RV towed to a storage facility, as it is not drivable at all.

At this time, all I can really tell you is that I took a shower in my own bathroom last night…

Ok… I can tell you more!

I have a working toilet, hot water, a mini kitchen, a huge fluffy bed covered in white sheets, white pillows, white everything…

My bathroom towels are all white… and clean!

There is a pool, a gym, a laundry room, breakfast provided each morning, free parking, free internet… free everything!

While we are still a distance away from actual housing… I could not be more grateful to my God, my husband, my WordPress family, and absolutely every single person who had a part in opening all the doors, thus far.

This has been such a journey, and though I realize it is not over, when one has been drowning, that first breath of glorious air is indescribable!

I shall keep you posted, my friends.

From The Archives…

Here is a Live Wire from a year ago. I thought it was worth a re-read… at least it will be for myself, personally.

Enjoy…

Live Wire September 2023

When God moves…

Though I am unable to see beneath the depths below

and the only light in this darkness is His light…

I am not afraid, my ship shall remain sea worthy, and my Captain will not leave me to sink…

He gave me two songs this morning and they are all I’m able to share with you at this time.

Remember… no fear! Perfect love and faith will be my banner…

Song #1

Song #2

Whatever may come, God’s Got us!