Well, that’s not entirely true… I am able to shuffle about the room, although it’s geriatrically slow… 🐌. What I can’t do is to sit in any form of upright position. Not without a good deal of pain, that is.
No, it’s not the end of the world… I just absolutely hate being off my feet! For a runner, born and bred for a fast exit when called for, being unable to escape or resolve incapacitating pain, causes high levels of anxiety and panic.
Yes, I have a fairly high tolerance for pain, but that is toward constant chronic pain… not this nasty, stabby, knock the air out of you stuff! Right now, I just feel like a big, whiny baby 👶
OK, whining is over, which is a good thing cause I can’t feel my fingers anymore….. hugs, my friends 🧡
I know this prompt is a repeat, but my answer from last year still holds… and it’s always fun to look back on things we’ve written in the past, don’t you think?
As a girl of only eleven, I had already discovered the item I was most fond of… my survival!
Life has a way of sometimes being reduced to nothing more than a thing… an item to be played with, bartered, or thrown out when its usefulness has been expended!
For many souls, it can take an entire lifetime to figure this out, only really feeling the harsh bite of reality, as it begins to surface on or near retirement! Basically, most begin to take more notice of feeling less valuable to society as the body begins to slow and lose the ability to carry on at the same pace they’d once kept.
Then, there are souls like mine, who learned painfully early in life how little value they held, how they weren’t valuable enough to protect and care about… never worthy of being saved! This was my dark alleyway of existence, wandering through the night until I found a place to sleep… doing whatever I had to do in order to secure food, warmth, and sleep… never safety… just sleep! This life was not much, but it was mine, and I valued it above everything else!
I’m 55 now and nearing the age when most are preparing for retirement and their golden years… but not this runaway!
I’m just getting started, I think, striving to prepare and strengthen myself for something bigger, better, and still yet to come.
It has taken some considerably long years of running to find myself sitting here recalling what I’d valued so much in my youth. Over the years, I’ve not cared for nor cherished it, as one might expect. Battered, bruised, misused, and tossed aside is that item I valued so strongly as a child…
None the less, it’s still in tact, for the most part!
If you’ve any curiosity about what has become of the item I was so attached to as a youth, you need only read the letters I have written to you all, over this last year, here on WordPress.
As this site is really all I have to show for explaining things, it will have to suffice as my best answer!
Sorry everyone, but as much as I wanted to write for you today, I am literally flat on my back… and have been since yesterday morning!
All I know is that I had a coughing spell and must have moved wrong because I’ve done something! Oh well, I suppose that it’s power for the course, as they say.
I’m sure I’ll be fine in a day or so, but my hands are starting to fall asleep from writing up in the air. If that happens, I’m likely going to drop this tablet on my face, so I’m going to end things here.
Hopefully, things will improve soon, and we’ll be back to sailing… hugs
Eustace absolutely loves his baby album that I put together for the big guy!
I think everyone enjoys being seen, noticed and/or appreciated, don’t you? The easiest example of this is kids, whenever you pull out their baby album… suddenly, you have a captive audience! Why do you think that is?
I guess we all just need to feel important to someone else, just for being who we are… even when life’s circumstances bury us beneath them, often distorting our appearance.
Even if the classroom is all messed up and the students are fakey cartoons… I still love the camel’s eyes, don’t you?
I think Eustace, like myself, became frustrated with always being at the back of the class,
left behind, forgotten.
What I love about the camel is his resilience, his choice to become better than what others thought his value was, and is!
For most of his live, Eustace had to exist and survive in places far beyond his young mind’s ability to understand. There were no other children or family to love him, for who and what he was.
He could have chosen to be hateful, and unkind to anyone who came near him… I fully understand that. I am so glad he chose to rise above it, and I think you probably are too!
Live life to the fullest… but keep your bags packed!
Some days, I pray He bring me home right then and there…
Other days, I desire to be standing there on the day He comes riding in on the clouds … what a glorious sight to behold, I say!
Either way, I shall walk each day with purpose, faith and love for others, as if we’ve years yet to go. When He calls to me… I will hear and respond, leaving everything of this world behind!
I know where my home is… where my hope is… the timing of my life span is not something I need to concern myself with.
Sometimes, we find ourselves in a place that appears to have no end in sight. Surrounded by darkness and uncertainty, all one can do is wait and listen for direction! Waiting can be so much work, what with everything being out of your reach, and all. Where does that leave a person, when already exhausted from all that waiting and worrying?
Oddly, the answer seems rather silly when you’ve worn yourself out with the overthinking bit. Are you ready for it? Some of you may already know the word that’s about to come out of my mouth this morning, but for those don’t, the word is stand!
Stand on the promises of God’s word, and simply hold yourself steady… that’s it… just let Him carry you… when you cannot see beyond the darkness! You know how they say it’s always darkest before the dawn? They are spot on… and yet, not!
Yes, the darkness is there to block your vision, but only what’s further than you can reach out and grab… I understand that part because I’m in the heart of it, just now. In truth, it’s actually very bright where I’m currently standing, mainly because God is pure light… and I’m resting just beneath his shadow!
By all rights, I should be mentally broken from all the isolation… but my mind is strong. We’re not much closer to finding housing, but I don’t much care… worrying won’t change anything about the outcome, so why waste the effort?
I suppose that I could get discouraged enough to stop writing, but it’s the one thing I CAN actively choose to do… For my God, for the joy of it and of course, for those who visit the Lobby.
As for all the unpublished everything I’ve been stockpiling… whether they ever see a printer doesn’t really matter, not if I believe that God’s got me in the palm of his hand. He is proud of the things that I put my heart into, which gives me more fulfillment than anything the world’s approval could ever offer!
Barnyard Business WILL become something… I’m just not sure what. Brutus is finished and I’m going to move forward with the other four novels belonging to that series… even if God is the only one to EVER see them… I don’t care!
I was made for these days, I think. God called me… by name!
He chose me!
This place I am currently in, it’s nothing more than a training ground, a holding place. I am assured of this, as I truly believe in the timing of things… all things!
I’m writing all these things down to hopefully encourage another, and honestly, for my own reassurance, as well. Quite probably, the Holy Spirit that dwells within me has prompted the writing out of my thoughts, so I can then accept the truth in them. Isn’t it kind of funny how writing out your feelings can help you sort things… you know, accepting the truths that are there, and sweeping off the debris of fear and confusion.
When it comes down to the heart of things, what we believe in as our truth, is the only thing that no one can take away… unless we allow it!
So, when I find myself somewhere between the darkness of night and the coming of dawn, surrounded by uncertainties, I choose to stand on the promises of my Creator… he left us the scriptures, which are His living and breathing words… HIS TRUTHS!
This is what I believe, therefore, I shall stand… I shall stand until my last breath if He asks it!
Merry Christmas to all of my WordPress family! I truly love you guys so much that there’s no way I would put coal into your stockings… not when I’ve been planning and preparing for so long!
By the way, before we start unwrapping things, you’re never going to guess what Santa got me for my present, this year. When I opened my eyes this morning, there, sitting upon my chest and looking at me was none other than an adorable and cheeky little flying squirrel!
Yup! Apparently, Santa had a heart to heart with the Pinion King! It was gently pointed out that the little squirrel, while needed for his new princely duties, also had family at the barn… those that were with him from his earliest days. It obviously softened the old king’s heart and he actually agreed with Santa, allowing Squagon to come home for a whole week!
As I write this, the babes are all having a beautiful reunion with one another, trading presents, eating goodies and playing holiday games with Brutus and miss Tilly. I’ll have the rest of the day to spend at the barn, but this morning is reserved for you, my friends!
You’ll find instructions on the table beside the door that you just entered…
We must set the stage for what is to come
There are items on each table to get the job done…
First pick your jammies, then pick your robe’s
Don’t forget your slippers, you know how this goes…
We’ll all need some cocoa or coffee or tea
Don’t forget all those pastries, or hungry you’ll be…
There’s a cushion for each of you, there by the fire
Sit down and get comfy in your new jammie attire…
You’ll note there are bags placed all about the room
Inside are the gifts that I picked out for you…
There are journals for writing your feelings and thoughts
And the pens that go with them are just there, in that pot…
Now, for all of you pet lovers
You’ll find bags of treats and toys
No flurbies left behind this day
Even they need to feel some joy…
I didn’t forget all you wonderful crafters
whose needlework reflects so much charm
Look for the bright colored bag in the corner
filled with assorted knitting hooks and yarn…
There’s another for all you DIYer’s, filled with many bits and bobs
Cameras, glue and tool kits, for those who like doing odd jobs…
I can’t overlook all the athletic types
They come in all shapes and sizes
For runners or walkers or even sports talkers
This bag is full of surprises…
Last but not least
I’ve one more gift to share
For each and every one of you
to show how much I care…
Please pick out a magic puppy
They don’t shed or poop on your floor
Whenever you turn on your computer
They can greet you at the virtual door!
I wish I could mention you each by name, to show you how much you mean to me… all of you! In truth, there’s too big of a list! Just know that I see you… each of you… and I think of you and pray for you, often!
Yes, this is a silly virtual Christmas I’ve presented, but it’s the best I can do. If nothing else, it brightened everyone’s morning… mine especially!
Journey With Me! 