Isn’t it funny how many of us have our favorite color of those chocolaty treats, even though technically, they probably all taste the same?
I’ve begun learning how different a thing can seem, depending on the one who is looking at it! Thoughts, emotions, and a myriad of other things surrounding a person, shapes the way they perceive what they encounter.
Take, for instance, Mary and Martha… the two sisters that the bible speaks about in the gospel of Luke. As scripture tells it,
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I love both Mary and Martha, but in the light of how reading scripture is shaping my view of Jesus… I prefer to live like one M over the other.
Have you ever been in a situation that brings you to that moment of exasperation where you utter a very ill-thought-out “Lord, please give me patience” prayer? Has anyone else discovered that He will do exactly that, but never the way you expected, or were fully prepared to deal with, as I have? Yes? No? Or are you trying to blend in with the wall, hoping not to bring attention to yourself, until after the Patience word leaves the room? Trust me, I get it… and on a deeper level than some may think. If not before this last week, I’m a firm believer right this very moment! Looking back, I should not have been surprised in the least, when I made the commitment to begin this Matters of The Heart series. I distinctly remember praying, “God, help me to use these writings to learn more of who I am as your child, and that I might grow stronger in my faith.” The Crazy Train version of distractions that have been running me over ever since, can only be described as getting rear-ended, only to be the one who gets the citation! None of it makes any sense at all, seriously!
Let’s see, within less than two hours after posting my intentions about this series, last Thursday, things got interesting, to say the least. I’ve already shared about the phone call mix up, telling us we weren’t supposed to stay here anymore, and the constant housekeeping staff visits, where they kept walking into our room all day. No worries, things are stable on that front, as they’ve since gotten their paperwork corrected. From that scenario we went directly on to the next comedy of errors, which was managing to injure my left hand while sleeping, of all things. I still cannot fully use that hand, so the typing continues with just one and ¼ hands.
From there it got weirder still, with a man coming to the door on the next morning, saying he was looking for room 264, which was right there, beside him (he appeared homeless, under the influence of something, and carrying a plate of food from the dining room). Among at least three other incidents, the day came and went. The next morning seemed calm, and the day passed without much disturbance. But then, late that evening, we heard an enormous bang from the parking area just below our window! Looking out outside, we discovered numerous police vehicles surrounding a vehicle that was apparently occupied. Just as we are watching the scene unfold, in our underwear I might add, a hotel employee gives a short rap on our door and proceeds to walk right into our room! With nothing more than a brief, “Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in this room”, he turned and disappeared down the steps.
Before you get too comfortable… it gets even better!
For what seemed like hours, it was pretty much a stand-off in the parking lot, with guns drawn, several more gas/flashbang thingies, before they called a tow truck in, hauled the car across the street, and removed whoever was in the vehicle (we didn’t witness that part). The car re-appeared in the parking lot a short time later, disappeared again, returned the following morning and then left again, not to return. Only later did we learn that several homeless people had been living in that car, and refused to leave. I will tell you that it wasn’t shocking to me, nor was it a surprise. Due to several very uncomfortable encounters on the walking trails nearby, God has warned me to stay within our motel room, until we leave this area. So, here is where I sit, snug as a bug in a rug, as they say.
In case you’re wondering if I’ve forgotten all about the writing that was intended for this series, I haven’t! I believe that it has everything to do with it, don’t you see? Everything that occurs in the world around us, will be observed, experienced and felt, based on what? How we think, what we believe, and how we feel about what we’re facing… and where do feelings come from? The heart, or more accurately, what the heart perceives, based on how it responds to the brain’s impulses… crazy, right?!
No, I’m not a doctor, scholar, scientist, philosopher or learned professor! But… I do have a heart, my own heart that beats all by its onesie’s, without any of those brilliant minds to assist. Not a single one of them created the blueprint for the heart that beats within this body, nor did they have the power to light the spark that set it into motion. I do believe in the good of science, and I’m so humbly grateful to all within our educational and medical professions. With that being said, I know who created them… I know who gave them their gifts, and then, instilled in them the ability to use those gifts! You will hopefully soon discover that there are just some places within the human heart, where neither science nor doctors can assist.
This is the road we’ll be traveling down… through the very pathways of our heart, which by design, were created to do one thing, seek out the very heart of God! He wants us to search our hearts, to see the evidence of his passing by, flowing through, and recognize that it is He, and Only He that can truly heal all the damage done by this world. While doing so, he also redeems is from that which we have done to ourselves. Hence, the necessity of using my own personal journey and experiences, so that you might see a glimpse of Him, in how I, myself, am still standing.
I am soon to see my 56th birthday, and can no longer keep an accurate count of how many instances death has crossed my path. In every situation, I’ve witnessed first hand, as God interceded on my behalf, saving me from destruction. I wish that I could say that I was never the villain, in any of it, but alas, I cannot. Can you believe that it was nearly two years ago that I finally opened my eyes from the bottom of the well I was lying in?
God has done such a transformative work in my life, that it could fill a book… oh wait, I did write one. Well, if you’re at all wondering, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we’re often called to do a thing for God, without specific details or even any evidence of an immediate result. It was good that I wrote the book, but what happens if the one who was in need of reading it, hasn’t come to the place where they are ready to read it? I choose to rely on God’s eternal faithfulness; I shall believe in the evidence of that which is not seen! Though I thought it was of such vital importance to write at the time, looking back down the pathways of my heart, I can see that I couldn’t have been further from the truth!
As you’re well aware, choosing to live separately from the world hasn’t been a bed of roses. I made a very personal commitment to God two years ago, walking away from a great deal of what the world offers. That means, choosing a path that I knew I would have to walk alone. Removing myself from things of this world and following God has not done any favors to the few relationships I still had. Especially right now, being a follower of Jesus Christ brings a big kick me sign to wear on the back of one’s shirt. Has it helped mend the bridges I burned with my children? Nope! If anything, they dislike me tenfold, at the moment. I continue to walk forward each day, upon the edge of a knife, as my hair falls out and my health plummets.
Honestly… I wouldn’t have things any other way, if it bears good fruit, which I believe it has, is, and will continue to do. I will dwell beneath the shadow of the Almighty… and as Paul said, “count it all joy.”
Until next time, may God surround you with his love… hugs
No I don’t! Ha ha, had you there for a moment, didn’t I?
Really, I wish I did have people to help me with all my stuff… there’s too much, and nowhere for it to go.
Bottom line is… money! Doesn’t it always?!
There just isn’t any easy way for an unseen no one, such as myself, to sweet talk a stranger into seeing what I see… let alone back me, in my literary endeavors.
Oddly, God just keeps whispering, Just keep writing it. Nothing is impossible for ME!”
So, while I may not have the best skills at managing my own time, I fully trust and believe that my heavenly father is giving me a hope and a future… I’ll bet my soul on it! I can take the risk, as I’ve a Jesus card to trump all the others!
Just sayin…
Here, have a cookie…
They’re never too hard to swallow, and that takes a lot of work, my friends.
I basically copied and pasted last years Monday Message in here, this morning. Why? Because nobody participated last time… and it was a really good idea, that’s why!
I’m serious, guys and gals… come on, pretty please…for me? I think this could be really fun, and let’s face it, I think we all need something bright to focus on right now. Wouldn’t you agree?
So, here goes… when at first you don’t succeed, try try again (or so I’ve heard):
Well… November is well upon us, and I am setting the stage for our upcoming events. I mentioned before that I wanted to do a Virtual Holiday and I am bringing it up again. I am giving everyone until Thanksgiving to come up with a Christmas Wish List for themselves and put it in the comments anywhere on my site, that is, if you wish to participate.
Anyone wishing to participate can simply use their Christmas Day Post to reveal what they got peeps from those lists… your post is yours so you can present your gifts anyway you wish. It is virtual so the sky is the limit! I thought it would be so beautiful to have the Reader covered with gifts and sharing all across WordPress. Be there or Be SQUARE!
Without fail, whenever God inspires me to write a thing for His purpose… this child gets hammered with adversity! Every distraction the enemy thinks might pull me away from my task, rises from out of thin air, it seems.
You know how I’ve been gushing about how wonderful and peaceful it’s been, during this phase of homeless hotelling? I think I may have let my guard down, what with all the fluffy white pillows and complimentary services.
Three different times, during my finishing touches on an important piece of writing, housekeeping staff walked into our room, as if we’d already checked out! Finally, we locked the door and went back to our activities. I kid you not, literally within less than two hours of publishing the first episode of Matters of the Heart, our room phone buzzed. When I answered it, the woman at the front desk stated that we were supposed to have checked out, and left. After briefly explaining that as far as we were aware, we were expected to stay until the end of November, she said that she would confirm it and call me back. She never did.
As of yet, no one has said a word to us, so I can assume they corrected any confusion on their end. However, the damage had already been done! From the moment I answered that phone call, my whole system did an emergency evac!
Both Fibro and IBS have fully left the reservation, and have been running across the prairie, throwing spears around willy nilly!
My sleep is fully upended itself, leaving me exhausted, sore and incredibly nauseous. No amount if lidocaine patches and hot showers will appease Fibro, and she has full on attacked IBS with a vengeance!
Do I regret publishing the first part of a series I feel led to write? Absolutely not! Will I push ahead… oh yes!
Satan hates it when we do, or say, anything that might further the kingdom of God… and if I make the creature feel agitated, frustrated, angry or most assuredly, very scared… I’m in!
I am so sick and tired of being swayed by fear over that which God has already had a firm handle on, from the beginning!
With every word that I type for God’s purpose, I wish to think on things as Paul did… he counted it all JOY!
My barnyard babies aren’t the only ones struggling with things they don’t fully understand, so perhaps that is why I discovered Nugget, one of the little dreamers, snuggled within my sock drawer the other morning.
Sometimes, solace comes in different shapes and sizes… God always knows what we need. For me, today I shall take solace beside the sea with a friend…
Not only do I not wish to do any re-living at this moment, but I wouldn’t wish any of my life on any other human being!
I hear so many folks talk of what they would do differently if they were to go back in time, but as much as I don’t want to go back… I also wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money!
The me that you see today is a priceless gem, cut from the hardest of stone. I am a blade made of iron, shaped through both fire and ice for tempering… I am a chosen child of God!
Has it been difficult, exhausting and painful, yes!
Have I had to walk through life as an outsider… an outcast? Yes! Most often, I am simply misunderstood by those that surround me.
Have I done any of this alone? Nope!
Whether good, bad or in between… all of it was foreseen by the one who knew of my very birth, before the foundations of the earth had ever come to be…
The path I now walk is a combination of many things, much of what I brought on myself along the way. By revisiting the old me, doing or saying a thing any different than I did the first time around, could possibly undo a lesson that was vitally necessary for my walk with God, at this moment in time. No thanks!
I love the me that I am now, so, as they say… There’s no going back, There’s no better time than the present, or even better yet,
“Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of Man cometh.” (Matt. 24:42–44.) May we heed this warning given by the Lord and get our houses in order and be prepared for the coming of the Lord.
I’ll not waste time looking back, but instead, I shall be ever watchful for His return. I think that is a far better idea, with far better rewards, than re-living any single moment of my earthly life.
I’m not falling for the banana in the tailpipe, WordPress Rollaprompt…
If all I could think of last time was Fabio getting hit in the face by the duck, how could I have possibly seen anything more memorable to fascinate me, in such a short period of time?
I think that the reason I refused to be serious the last time I was asked about historical events, was because it felt rather depressing to write about history, when no one seems to be learning from it!
Media has warped and tainted so much of humanities actual history, seeking the truth is like navigating through the sewer, in my personal opinion.
So, unless I was there on the scene to actually witness it, I don’t really feel like writing about it. I write about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit nearly every day, though few will believe, but if only one does… then its far more valuable to write on those things, which my faith leads me to believe to be the truth.
I wish to take you on a journey into the depths of the human heart, through the eyes of traveler…
Though the traveler will often be seen as myself, at any given time it could be anyone, really. The reason for this is to allow freedom of perspective; pointing no fingers, nor assigning any blame. I seek to be as transparent as possible, therefore, its quite appropriate to use myself as an example, so long as I do it in love and with good fruit in mind.
Why, you ask yourselves, would she share such deep emotions, for all to see? Well, I’ll tell you why… because, like it or not, YOU are my family… you’re it, guys and gals. No, this isn’t sorry time, so lift your chins up! This is my choice, my chosen path, as lovingly directed by my DAD! You know, the big guy upstairs!
I will mostly be using my own journey, taking you with me on a walk, of sorts, through the last two years of God’s redemptive love ,and healing transformation. In truth, He has had to rebuild me… from the ground up! I’m free to openly and candidly share this recent part of my journey, as it doesn’t compromise any writings from my autobiography, which is still resting in the vault. I will undoubtedly touch on the many faceted reason that it’s still in there, but for now let’s just say that God asked me to write it, but has yet to give it back to me… so there’s that, lol!
Anyway, back to this new series. If I see you as my family, then you deserve my love, my devotion, my efforts and my fellowship… yes, I said fellowship! I need it from you, just as much as my words reach out to hug your hearts, when I click that Publish button. Now don’t panic! I’ll not ask a single thing more from you than you’re already doing, my sweet friends. Why not, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you why. As I may have mentioned in the past, I feel this world on an empathetic plane of existence, you see. Just by reading through your blogs, and conversing with you, this girl gets hit by waves of your emotions! Some might think this a curse, but it kept me alive all those years ago, allowing me to sense danger quickly and fueled my fight or flight reflexes. While there were a great many years of struggle to understand and navigate my own heart, this empathy has been shaped and molded by the very hand of God… just in the last two years, point in fact!
It has come down from my Father, directly, that it’s time to share what He has done for this broken, fallen, and ugly mess, and yes I said ugly… because that’s what I felt like on the inside for most of my existence, and what one feels like on the inside always finds its way into the light. So, yes, when I began to really change two years ago, your hearts would break to view the actual shape I was in… it wasn’t pretty, I can assure you! That being said, I want to show you the journey God has led me on, as He removed my bitter blinders, flushed out all of poison within my heart, and gave me new eyes…both literally, and figuratively!
So, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be setting aside the cookie plate on these episodes, which will post each Thursday. Grab a cup of coffee, pad your posteriors, and check your presuppositions at the door! As we travel through the arteries that weave throughout the human heart, look only to see the life-giving waters that flow, mixed with the blood sacrificed to redeem it! We’ll be diving deep, so bring a tissue or two, if you tend to cry like I do.
Don’t worry… remember, I said this was all meant to bear good fruit, so only that which is edifying will be shared. Besides, this has been an incredible journey and I wish to share it with you, so as to reflect Gods miraculous and Perfect Love!
Journey With Me! 