Category: Godly

My name is Wiwohka for a reason…

Wiwohka5 Comments

I may not be meant for friendship, I may not be meant for family, but when I pass by, I will leave my mark on you

For some it will be good, for some bad… but you WILL know that I have been there

If God is for me… I don’t care what you think of me

When I said that I would stand on my faith in God all the way to the end… I meant it! It’s easy to spout scripture from a pulpit, claim God’s miraculous power from your armchair, and wax poetic about a spirit filled life from a hot tub, but try doin it from the gates of hell… I dare you!

When you finally pass beyond the words shooting out of your mouth, the singing of heavenly hymns, and dancing for Jesus in front of the masses, you get to the plane of daily existence in the presence of the almighty God of ages… yeah, Him! You wait for your daily bread from meal to meal, you listen for his voice in the utter silence of abandonment. When you can look only to Him for each and every breath that you need to live, it is oddly peaceful.

Jesus sits with me through the endless hours of waiting, the closed doors and dead ends… its rather ugly right now, with no joyful or praiseworthy news to regale you with, or pretty cookies to hand out. These waters are pretty rough and roaring just now, so it has taken all I have to write anything at all. Boy, it’s harder than I thought it would be to write down my feelings without saying some rather nasty and lethal remarks about things… sheesh!

Yes, it’s really bad right now, and no, I’m not going to speak on it… at least not til we’re beyond this part of the journey. The actual fight for survival puts one in a compromised emotional state, bringing out responses that you never knew you were capable of… so it’s best not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, trust me! You know why? Not so much to be nice to the folks hurting you, but to act honorably before God… to please Him and Him alone!

I could disappear today without a trace, leaving you to wonder where I went for a day or so, but you’d move on soon, as I’m nothing more than an entry in an online journal that anyone can read…

… but to God, I am someone specific, like no other on this planet, someone very special and sought after… He foreknew of my birth, my life, my failures, my successes, my wrongs, my rights… I am perfect in my imperfection, beautiful in my brokenness, wanted, cherished, and never ever forgotten or rejected for being who I am…

I am Wiwohka, with a heart that rushes, rages, and powerfully flows toward the home that awaits me… this world is NOT my home, but I will walk through it with as much grace as I can muster… to put a smile on my heavenly father’s face… to make my Creator proud of the work that He has, and is doing in my life… that is enough!

This site is most likely going to go down, as things are financially at the end for this leg of my journey, but don’t lose hope because God is leading me somewhere so that’s not a bad thing. There are a number of books still to be written… even if God is the only one to ever read them.

Traveling Threads…

Wiwohka12 Comments

I’ve not been posting, as it’s far better to remain silent than to speak words of pain, anger, and frustration… things circumstantial have a way of bringing rise to my serpent’s tongue, if you get my meaning.

It’s beyond my ability to understand how many times an agency can lie to your face.. anyways, this is the reason I cannot speak of things, just now. We’re exhausted, extremely stressed, both sicker than ever with some flue (yay), so it’s clear that my judgement is somewhat compromised.

After waiting 10 days on that application to process, they finally called to say that there was still paperwork missing… and that apartments no longer available… and we still need to wait for an inspection, which God only knows how long that could take. They keep saying one thing and then just blowing right past their own promises, only to then make us feel as if it’s our fault that they can’t seem to get things done.

How does one describe the feeling of being overlooked, minimized, forgotten, undervalued, passed over, left behind, discarded by society, as no more than a burden to the world? I can tell you that these are my feelings, but I am unable to even begin to describe it’s toll on the physical body. Fortunately for me, while my body declines… my spirit is on fire!

I see His hand in the darkness, holding onto us, binding us to each other and to Him, so that’s how I endure… Jesus chose me before the foundation of the earth, died to make a way for me, and sits ever faithfully beside me, here in this wasteland… I am still NOT alone!

God Bless and keep all of you, my friends. I love you dearly and hope you are well.

Hugs

Rough Waters…

Wiwohka9 Comments

If one were to ask me how I might describe my thoughts and emotions right now, I can only say that it’s very dark and strangely unfamiliar. We’ve been wandering from motel to motel with all that’s left of our life packed into the back of our car. Feeling like you’ve been completely forgotten and overlooked by those promising to provide a resource, quite honestly, feels gut wrenching!

We were given our voucher, but then informed that it still had to be ported back to another county before we could use it. Within a day of getting the voucher, our paperwork simply vanished into the system. By the grace of God, and my husbands quick thinking, we drove two cities away from where we started to find an apartment that already passed the required inspections, which takes up to 45 days, normally. Doing things this way avoids having to wait up to 3 weeks for the portal process.

All the papers are in, application filled out… and now we wait! It could be a day… or up to several weeks for the apartment to accept our application. Though this has been a nightmare, and I will most likely never speak of it in any detail, at no time have I felt abandoned by my God! Let’s just say that this part of our journey has called for all of my faith, fully in action! And, as it says in the bible, I shall count it all joy!

God chooses my path, and in scripture it tells us that He knows our going out and our lying down. It also says that he is familiar with all our ways. If God allows me to experience these things, then there’s learning that needs to be done, and that’s growth! Of this I’m certain…growth is good, even though it can sometimes be difficult or painful.

It’s true, you know, that saying about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. There’s only one thing I might add to that phrase, and it’s this:… it’s our choice as to whether that strength will be fueled by faith, hope, and love, or just anger, bitterness and hatred. Each path will leave you changed, but you do have a choice in which way to climb your mountains. Personally, I desire to grow stronger on the way up, through, or around these mountains. When God calls my name… I’m going to be on my feet!

Monday Message…

Wiwohka15 Comments

Today begins another transitional phase in the journey, my friends. I may be absent for a number of days, as we seek somewhere to stay until we find our next stop. As far as I’m aware, this room is only good through tomorrow morning, with no more assistance available on that front. But, we just need to get our voucher so that we can start applying anywhere. That comes in the morning, after our mandatory voucher orientation class. Honestly, I don’t know what goes through the minds of those behind desks, assuming that a homeless person can travel some 30 miles away for this required attendance. Luckily, the car is still drivable and we have fuel in the tank.

Oh well, let’s just do what needs doing, you know?!

Besides, my husband’s doing the physical driving, anyway. And, let’s not forget that God’s the one in control, overall! He’s got us!

Hopefully, I will be back before you even know that I was missing… hehehe

Barnyard Building…

Wiwohka4 Comments

While restorations are still ongoing at the barn, I thought to go exploring in the woods this morning just for the fun of it. I’ve also been wanting to take Bailey back to the area where Tilly discovered her beneath that log. For the life of me, I haven’t been able to figure out how the puppies managed to escape from the lobby in the first place, only to then end up in the woods behind our farmhouse. It just seems really strange, you know?

So off we went, the three of us, back down the path from which the mouse and puppy had come, in search of some answers. Well, I went in search for the answers part, while the mouse and puppy mostly chased one another around trees and beneath bushes. Several times, I found myself just watching them play, rather than doing any searching. It actually worked out in my favor, though, because it was during this game that we discovered a hidden trail, just off the main path we’d been traveling.

Being curious, we decided to follow the new trail, though I had to crawl on my hands and knees on several occasions. You try following the path of a mouse, or even a puppy, for that matter! I’m just sayin that it isn’t that easy, that’s all.

Anyways, we didn’t have to travel that far before my eye caught a glimpse of something shiny, further down the path. You’re never going to believe what we stumbled upon, not half an hour’s walk from the farm?

The very carousel that I’d been suggesting we could restore into a garden or something, sat before us in a small glade… for no apparent reason! There was no trace of a carnival passing by, in fact, no roads could be seen anywhere nearby.

While I stood staring in confusion, over why someone would abandon an old piece of machinery in middle of the woods, both Tilly and Bailey disappeared around the back of the carousel. I called out to them, but there was no reply from either… as if they’d simply vanished!

I ran round to where I’d last seen them heading and nearly tripped over my own shoe in surprise…

I kid you not! There was a doorway on the backside of the carousel, standing wide open! Logic said that my two little ones had probably gone through the open passage that I too, felt compelled to enter…

At first, all I could see was a dark corridor with little light available, aside for several ceiling lights that mostly just flickered on and off. I did see a small doorway ajar, further down the passage, and could hear the distant whispers of my two tiny compadres.

When I got to the doorway and pushed it open… everything about the disappearance of the puppies finally made more sense…

Did you know that the Lobby had a back door? I didn’t! Apparently, back behind the archive section is an open doorway… no wonder the puppies got out that way!

I hope you weren’t expecting me to explain all this, because I’m just as confused as you probably are…

Well, at least now we know it’s within easy walking distance of the Barnyard… if you were of a mind to visit, of course!

Just follow the path …

I’m Going Home…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
View all responses

Well, I wouldn’t actually use that as a title, but I have no intention of giving you the actual title before I’ve actually gotten it published! That would be silly of me. And, I’d be more likely to use this picture for my cover instead of the one above…

Now, I’ll distract you with some cookies…

Why spoil the surprise…

Wiwohka3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.
View all responses

I look at my ideal dream home as a part of my journey, yet to be traveled… and I like presents quite a lot! How boring would it be if we knew exactly what was wrapped beneath our tree on Christmas Morning, right?! We love to wonder, speculate, and/or try to peek, though we know we must wait for the big OPEN! That’s what’s so beautiful about gifts, you know?

Besides, I don’t want to paint a picture of a thing that God has been preparing for such a long time, as He will far exceed any description I might offer. Plus, it’ll make the unwrapping of our future place so exciting! I can’t wait to wander from room to room, gratefully discovering all the things God included in the installation process… He’s like that, you know?

Imagine how disappointing it would be for us if we went to all the trouble of making a gift, only to have the recipient send us an add-on list.

I know, I know, this is just a prompt about a dream home, and I get it… really I do!

But, honestly, after being without an actual place to call home for the last few years now… a bed with four walls, along with an actual written address that doesn’t include wheels underneath, would suit me just fine! Unfortunately, that looks very bland in dream home standards, so I’m relying heavily on God’s providence for all the bells and whistles… just sayin!

I did make some dreamy cookies…

Monday Messages…

Wiwohka11 Comments

It sure has been a journey these last few years, to say the least!

We’ve gone from, losing our home and all we owned during the COVID Shutdown, to living in an RV for three years (the last year had no working toilet or shower, nor any hot water). And here we are now, spending the last four months in a motel room, awaiting a housing voucher. So, ya… it’s been a journey!

Well, guess what?

We’ve been approved!!!

I know this is only the first part of the actual process, but it’s a start!

Now, we must attend a special orientation class, before we can actually be presented with the needed voucher. The class is on the 18th and our last approved night in this motel is the 17th, so it’ll be a little dicey between the time of getting said voucher and getting into an appropriate housing situation. But hey, God’s the one driving this bus, right?!

My job is to simply wait until the bus stops, gather myself together when the door opens, and step out in faith! Why do some folks think that the hard part is walking through the door, or stepping out in faith when you can’t see what’s there? Personally, I’ve learned that the hardest part is the waiting…

Tick tock, tick tock…

The silence of waiting can be deafening, at times.

The thing that I’m learning is, mountains take time to move over, under, around, or through… depending on what God wants you to see, learn, and/or do along the journey.

Anyways, if you are curious how we got here from the top of this post, I’ve brought you thus far, so that I might say thank you! Thank you for loving me, for praying for me, and for sticking with me through the thick of things, if you will. You’ve made this whole excruciating difficult process, a great deal easier! Your comments, laughter, and visits to the lobby have been so vitally instrumental in the encouragement department, if that makes any sense.

It’s funny, the prompt this morning was asking what I’d do with good news? Well, I already did my praying and praising God for his faithful provision. Now’s the part where I share said good news, celebrate, and have a grateful heart!

The first place I wanted to bring my joyful news was here, in this very lobby! I thought to share it with all of you… my family!

Bend a knee…

Wiwohka4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
View all responses

The first thing we should be doing when we get some great, amazingly fantastic news, and even down to the smallest of blessings, is to bend a knee to the God who made it possible!

Why is that such a hard thing for us to do, I wonder?

Why can’t God get the first, and most important thank you, before we go patting ourselves on the back for a thing we think we deserve the credit for? It’s rather simple, really! Just stop and thank Him! Then, go do the next thing we do with good news… tell somebody about it, celebrate, and have a glad heart!

At least, that’s what I like to do.

Here, have a cookie…

they might not be great or amazingly fantastic, but they’ll do in a pinch!