I had to laugh when I saw this prompt, as it brought up a memory that had been lost to me… so thank you, WordPress!
I swear that I might have been born in the wild, because my earliest memories include riding bareback while still in diapers… ya, I have a mind like a steel trap!
Anyways, camping is something that came naturally to this girl, and so, I passed it on to my children. My daughters have been camping since before they were born, as I freely went camping during my pregnancies. When my girls began to grow, we began traveling with a group of about 4 or 5 other families during the summer months, camping and fishing throughout the great Northwest. From southern Oregon, across Idaho and into Montana, and even into British Columbia.
Needless to say, my family are avid campers, fishers, hikers and hunters! They weren’t always so experienced at this stuff, and it took a great deal of training and practice, especially in the bathroom department, if you know what I mean? I had three girls!
How does one raise a little girl to be a tough camper, and yet still be a little lady? Like I said, we traveled with a huge group of camping families, which meant cooking together, bathing in close proximity to others, and yes, using the restroom in groups, for security! With little ones running around, we grown ups thought it was easiest to make an appropriate code word, to signal our restroom intentions. If one needed to use the restroom, we simply said, “I have to go camping”, and anyone who needed to go, simply agreed to come along.
Now, this went on for nearly an entire summer before one of my girls finally asked, “Mamma, how come the grown-ups keep saying they’re camping and then disappear into the woods?” I explained that it was a polite way of saying that we needed to use the restroom, without saying it in front of others. She didn’t question me further, and seemed not to even understand what I’d said. About a week later, all the families gathered at our home to plan the next upcoming adventure.
There we all were, standing around my kitchen talking, when my daughter marches into the midst of the group and boldly announced, “Everyone, I need to go camping… that means I have to go poop!”
I nearly dropped the plate in my hands! The entire room went silent for a moment, and then erupted into laughter! All of the adults in the room knowing laughed themselves silly, while my daughter marched off to the bathroom. The rest of the day was filled with children running around the house, loudly claiming they needed to camp and then laughing about it!
Since we have a boat, and we have the freedom of the seas to travel, the world is our oyster! Only one problem… not everyone is here, yet!
If you’re wondering who we’re missing, as all the babes are on board, let me explain. Remember last winter, just before the barnyard and babes disappeared? If you recall, our young miss Tilly met a boy in the forest, while she and Dinky were gathering pine bows. Well… he was sort of overlooked in all the chaos of tracking down all my lost ones. I feel awful about it, especially since it has caused Tilly such heartache! I found her below deck this morning, crying herself silly. She tried to settle herself when I approached, but the moment I sat down beside her, the mouse began to bawl again, and didn’t stop til she fell asleep in my arms. As she was drifting off to sleep, mingled in amongst the tearful snuffles, I could hear her whispering the name “Henry”… and it all came rushing back to me, in an instant! We’d forgotten all about young Henry and his family at the old Church down the road from our barn.
How could I have overlooked them? I felt awful! You guys, we have to search for them, before any adventuring can happen. There is absolutely no way that we can have any fun with a love sick mouse aboard…
I don’t know about you but that face makes my heart hurt, and Tilly deserves to be happy. So, stow all the supplies… weigh anchor… lift the sails…
We make for the river that leads inland, toward the place we’d found young Squagon, remember? Somewhere out there is a young mouse that we simply must find…
Where are you, young Henry? There is a mouse who loves you so…
I think that dreams say a great deal about who we are… on the inside. Before you start preparing for some kind of mental health episode of some sort, I’ll leave that to the professionals, thank you very much! My thoughts and considerations will be looking at our character, our personality, or we can label as our true self, if you will. As I always tend to do, let me explain what I meant by my initial statement.
First off, I want to break dreaming into two categories here, one being a waking daydream, while the other is a sleeping dream. Waking daydreams are the ones in which we control the dream in its entirety. Obviously, the sleeping dreams are when we’re not awake, therefore we have no conscious control of what goes on in our dream, nor any control of the outcome… we just gotta ride it out, so to speak.
When I write these thoughts out, I’ve no intention of trying to figure others out, based on their dreams! I guess I’m writing out something that I’ve discovered about my own personality and tendencies, that’s all. Some say that they don’t really dream much, while others dream often and deeply… people like me.
Being a child from trauma, I sought fantasies and daydreams from a very early age, as a way of safety or escape, if you will. To this day, I can vividly remember things from those years, most especially the dreams and recurring nightmares that I experienced. Weird, right?!
Anyway, I had one of my re-run daydreams from when I was small, just the other day. As I was thinking on the memory of my dream, I noticed something sort of funny about myself, or, the way that I saw myself in the daydream. It made me want to look back through some of the other dreams, just to see if I did that in all of them. Guess what I discovered? I did, in fact, see myself in a particular way, when it was a sleeping dream and another way when it was a daydream… just two starring roles… two!
In every waking dream that I created, I cast myself as the assistant, the helper, the heroin through heavy lifting! I was either Charlie instead of Willie Wonka, or the Mad Hatter instead of Alice, or the child who helped Dr. Doolittle. Even to this day, I never see myself as the heroin or hero in anything… always, always, always, I dream myself behind the scenes. In my stories, it feels better to focus on my desires for the cast members in the tale. I think that’s why I prefer you to see me through Tilly, Eustace, or any of this site’s characters when I write. They seem to capture who I am, there within the pages of their stories.
The sleeping dreams are a far different representation of how I saw myself back then, and even now, today. That little girl only experienced the nightmare portion of the dreams, for many, many years. I was a frequent bed wetter, and struggled with severe anxiety. I had no one to talk to, no one to comfort or rescue me from my hell. I’m sure that this is why my waking dreams were so intense and real to me. I even learned how to wake myself out of my night terrors. I actually began to flip myself from my bed and onto the floor, so as to force myself awake. That child was always running, fighting and/or in pain during those dreams. Over the years, I changed in appearance as I grew into a woman, wife, and mother, but I still continued to be the victim… or the villain. Yes, I even saw myself become the villain, but what could I do? I had no control, there in the depths of my darkness.
Ok, no more of that part, as it’s not who I am now! Now? God holds my dreams in the palm of his hand, shielding and comforting me through anything I may experience during my sleep, which is now rarely more than a goofy recap of what I’d watched on television the night before. It’s funny, because the transformation within this wild child has been miraculous, to say the least!
Waking daydreams are now filled with a purpose, not my own, but of one who is so much greater!
Night dreaming is no longer a place of fear, but of peace, protection, and security!
I’ll not forget the child of my past, no no, as she is the one who survived!
I’ll not forget the lost wild one, for she is full of fiery spirit, and tenacity!
While I may not ever be a hero of anything special, Charlie did end up with the factory, so that children would hold onto their dreams!
That child who followed Dr. Doolittle… they carried on the doctor’s work to care for others, whether it was a Push-Me-Pull-Me or the captive sea lion… always the less fortunate!
What do I daydream about now? I dream that everywhere I go… I smell like cookie dough, pulling children’s imaginations along with me, just like the pied piper! For all the rest of you… I pray that I leave a trail of cookie crumbs in my wake… get it, wake… hehehe!
Oh my goodness, have I got Babyitis, just now! Perhaps you’ve heard of it, or possibly even suffered from it, at one time or another.
It came on quite suddenly, if I’m being honest. Usually, the symptoms are small and slow to appear… at least, that’s how it’s been for me, in the past.
Not this time! I was not prepared for it to bring me to my knees (metaphorically) in the middle of Walmart, yesterday. There I was, innocently looking at yarn, with the hope that I can make one last baby blanket, before my arthritis robs me of this passion. This has to be one of the most important blankets I’ll ever craft, as this baby seems to have become the bridge in which God might mend something that I, myself, broke. Sorry, I went sort of deep, there for a moment.
Anyways, I found some really adorable colors to work with, as we don’t yet know the gender of this upcoming little blessing. Here, I’ll show you…
Hopefully, this will become something lovely… and I’ll show you update pictures of my progress, just for fun!
So, there I was in the aisle of crafts, with my chosen yarn held firmly in my arms, when something caught my eye. I spied a stuffed bunny ear… and I cannot be held responsible for what occurred next. It wasn’t my fault! I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of all those symptoms of Babyitis.
My poor husband had a hard time keeping up with me, as we were heading toward the check-out. Finally, he says, “why on earth are you walking so fast… wait, what’s in the cart that you don’t want me to see?” Busted!
No worries… Babyitis comes with a positive perk…
I think it makes one smell like either chocolate, or cookies… or both! For some crazy reason, whenever I have an symptoms of Babyitis surface, my hubby just smiles softly with a strange look in his eyes, similar to when he drinks the cocoa I make… weird, huh?!
When these crazy symptoms first surfaced, yesterday, I did attempt to promise that it wouldn’t happen again, but then changed my mind. While I may be able to exercise some amount of restraint, being the mature adult that I am, I cannot say that this won’t happen again… in fact, I have a feeling that he’s going to have hide any spare change laying about!
Manufacturers of everything baby safe have made it nearly impossible for adults to open the thing not meant for a baby to touch… you know, pill bottles or doors or packages, etc.
Don’t get me started on those baby gates… sheesh!
Ahhh… the joyful memories of trying to open a door with one of those safety covers, while your arms are full of either laundry or toys or I don’t know… a sleeping baby!
So, yeah… there’s that!
It probably goes further than just childproof stuff, if I’m being fully. Most likely, we’ve probably all dropped food on the floor, at one time or another, due to a failed attempt at opening the wrapper. I know you don’t want to admit it, but you know it’s happened!
So yeah, I want to be skilled in the opening of all things childproof, and I think I’m onto something, in this regard. To be a ninja, one must practice and train constantly, which in turn uses up ones energy, making them hungry, right!? What if we put superfood for the brain into our favorite meals and snacks? I’ve already begun field testing, but I could sure use some outside opinions, just to be sure that I’m on the right track.
Here, try one of these magic safety cookies…
Let me know if they work, or if there are any side effects to make note of, like itchy feet… not that there’s anything to be concerned about, at least, I don’t think so.
If ever this were to be considered a mountain… well, God moved it!
We do not know why, but for whatever their reason, the owners of the property chose to come back to the table and change their first decision. Basically, they completely changed their mind and lowered the cost of the apartment in order to get us approved… not kidding!
It’s small, but absolutely adorable… and clean!
Everything is new, and bright, and warm, and just perfect perfect perfect!!!
Sure, it’s empty now, but let me tell you… when the bible says that God will restore all that the enemy has stolen, I am watching such miracles unfold right before my eyes!
Some very generous donations have already arrived from God, through the many different organizations that have been with us throughout all this… I swear, I think they’re more excited than we are about things finally coming together. They’ve already ordered us a new bed, a vacuum cleaner, and a boatload of bathroom and cleaning supplies, so that should arrive at the new address within another day or so…
I’m in love with the whole color scheme that was chosen for this layout. Now we just have to wait for the mail to catch up with is… lol.
Oh, and we have to go to the V.A. this afternoon to pick up a furniture voucher, gift cards for things like dishes and cooking supplies. Honestly, I am still a bit numb about all this, as if I expect I might wake from such a dream, you know…
Oh, by the way, right in the middle of all of this going on, I got a phone call from my middle daughter… I’m gonna be a Meemaw again… AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Don’t babies just make everything better… oh, and cookies.. cookies make everything better, too. I have to tell you something funny in all this. After loosing pretty much all that we owned, down to the point of wearing the same outfit for the last three and a half weeks, I managed to save two items… my KitchenAid mixer and my Cuisinart, no joke! I have a mountain of cookies to bake, lol! My hubby tested the oven straight away… it’s like he knows me, or something…
And, guess what? Both my little plants have survived, thus far. I promised them both that they’d be getting new pots and soil when we get them moved in… they’ve earned them!
I know that this must have been awful for you all, having to watch helplessly as we went through this desert, but I could NOT have done this without your love, your faithful prayers, and your constant encouragement!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I am so very richly blessed!
This chapter in my journey has closed, so let us move forward to see what God has in store four the future…
If I were to say anything of value, regarding what we just endured, I would say this… God has profoundly changed this wild and angry child, carefully molding her into that which is beautiful in His eyes.
It is indescribably here, resting beneath the shadow of my Father. From here, I can see for endless miles into the future… no, I haven’t reached some weird plane of visions, so don’t start freaking out on me. What I mean is that it’s not dark any longer, as it had been for so much of this process. Oh, I still can’t see the specifics of what will come… but it’s bright here, wherever I look… I might be wrong, but I think that it’s joy, or maybe hope, but it could also be the source of all those prayers everyone has been shouting to the heavens, on my behalf.
You didn’t think that I’d forgotten about our missing little ant, did you?
Not a chance! Do try to keep in mind, however, finding an itty bitty little ant in the forest is far from easy. I had all the little ones out searching the woods frequently throughout each day; calling out her name, in the hopes that it might lead her back to the new farm house. I took it upon myself to make another visit to her family, being sure to leave her a message that include directions to our new location. Aside from that, all we could do was wait, and hope.
Even in the darkest of nights, when all seems lost to us, there is always hope!
As I sat the kitchen of our farm house this morning, quietly enjoying my first needed cup of coffee, my thoughts were suddenly disrupted by the distinct smell of cotton candy, floating in through my window. It surprised me so much that I nearly dropped my coffee in my lap! No, I wasn’t surprised that the the air was deliciously fragrant, just because of the candy smell. That would be silly, don’t you think? There are a myriad of glorious smells floating through the forest, at any given moment, and in any given season!
My surprise at the smell of cotton candy goes much deeper than just a yummy breeze, but you may or may not recall the reason, so I’ll explain. For those of you that don’t remember, there was a strong smell of cotton candy in the air, on the very day that miss Lilly first floated into our barn. Now, it probably makes a great deal more sense, as to why I nearly dropped my coffee when I noticed the air… I smelled Lilly!
I don’t know what most people smell when ants are around, but our little girl smells just like cotton candy! I jumped up out of my chair and ran out the back door, as fast as my legs could carry me, scanning the meadow from one side to the other! Seeing nothing with my eyes, I decided to try following my nose.
There, amidst the dandelions in the meadow, sat a strangely familiar looking creature…
Yes, anyone who knew her from the beginning will recognize those beautiful eyes…
Even if I’d been confused about the eyes, when the tiny ant began smiling at me… it removed all doubt from my mind! She may have gone a bit wild ant/bunny on us while out in the wilderness, but it’s still our Lilly! You try braving the wilds all by your onesie’s, and then let’s see what you look like when you finally get home. I know that I’d probably look a mess, to say the least…
My nana always had candy, bowls of it, in fact! She always made sure they were freshly filled for our little visiting fingers, whenever we stayed at her home.
They weren’t always the some, though, because she liked variety… and she knew that we would too. Some days she’d have a mix of peppermint, butterscotch, and cinnamon flavored hard candies. My personal favorite were the butterscotch!
On special occasions, there would be bowls all over her home, in sets of three; one bowl with nuts, one with candies, and one with mixed chocolates. I always cleaned out the little candies, specifically the yellow butter mints. You know, for some funny reason, when I ran across them in a store and bought them, the flavor wasn’t the same… how sad, right?!
Honestly, I think it’s the memory of my nana’s house that I fondly recall, more than the candy. Perhaps it’s better to keep the flavor fantasy, just that… a fantasy, a sweet dream of more innocent times.
I still really do love butter mints, and yellow is still my favorite color, and I doubt that will ever change…
You don’t see me anywhere, but don’t let your eyes fool you. I’m simply sitting inside the house, drinking my morning coffee. I’ve just been sitting here, listening to the sound of birds singing outside my window. It’s quite peaceful in this place, and I’m finding myself lingering a bit longer each morning, just to listen to the countryside wake itself up!
(In the real world, we await an approval and invitation to accept our housing voucher. They’ve gathered everything they need, paperwork wise, so this is the part where the paper has to walk itself from one place to another, for a whole lot of signatures. Once that’s been completed, we’ll be given an invitation to attend an orientation class, at which time, we’ll receive that physical “Golden Ticket”. Until that occurs… we must wait.)
You won’t believe who showed up yesterday, bounding right in through the front door? Our Auzzee!!!
I’m not sure where he’s been hiding, nor, how he managed to track us down, here at the farm? I don’t think it even matters, really. I’m just so grateful to see the furry little guy, which is sort of strange, don’t you think? He used to have more feathers, as well as different fur… you know, the fur and claws of a cat, remember? Correct me if I’m wrong but, doesn’t he look like sort of like a wooly bear?
See what I mean?! It’s no bother to me, really, as I’m just so relieved to see his adorableness bound into my kitchen this morning!
It won’t be much longer now, and everyone should be back together again, and the barn is coming together wonderfully, as you can see…
Miss Tilly has volunteered herself to be our handyman’s little helper, isn’t she so adorable in her mini-hardhat?
Even Bailey is enjoying all the new hay that we threw across the barn floor…
And, of course, young Squagon is thoroughly enjoying himself, swinging confidently from the rafters,
Yes, Squagon is looking a good deal more like a bat or dragon than the furry baby we first met, but that’s an update for another day. Don’t worry over it, as the little guy is doing quite well, and no worse for ware, after his time alone in the forest. I just think there is more to him than we’d first thought, that’s all.
Anyways, as far as the progression of all the repairs and restoration of the farm, things are going well. With the house pretty much finished, I’ve been looking over the barn and taking meticulous notes, in order to assist our handyman in some of the larger tasks. That’s a bit much to ask of our Tilly, so I stepped in to help.
I think I’ll hang out with him today while he does all the things on my “Honey Do” list. I made sure to put that requirement into the fine print of his contract… I made sure to smile a lot when he was looking over the paperwork, so he just grinned and said, “Mmmhmmm.”
Oh, by the way, my little shadow was successful in locating our misplaced dragon…
Well, he found her, point in fact! Anyways, they’re on their way home now, as we speak! I realize that it may seem rather preposterous that I can know of such a thing, when I’m here with you and they aren’t even back yet, to tell the tale.
Well, to coin a phrase from Guardians of the Galaxy II, “I’m Mary Poppins, Yawl!” Ok, so maybe not totally like that, but suffice it to say, I did it my way… wait, isn’t that Frank Sinatra? Sheesh! Are all the good lines taken, or what? I can’t use It’s my website and I’ll do what I want to, because there’s an old party song that sounds too much like it.
I know, I know… I might not be Mary Poppins, but my site DOES make magic cookies! Yup, yup, yup… I think that will do just fine, wouldn’t you agree?
With that settled, just trust me when I tell you that they’re on their way… I can feel it in my bones!
As you already know, we’ve no actual barn to recover. The valley is simply empty of anything recognizable, and with no markings that I can even decipher!
I’ve basically been using Journey With Me’s RV as my shelter, while searching the woods for those lost to us…
It was the only thing I had available that was big enough to fit all the babies found, thus far. If you’re wondering, little Tilly is fully recovered from the shock of spending those nights by herself, alone in the woods. I have to say that all this fresh air has done the mouse a world of good! She bounced back much more quickly than I’d anticipated.
Now, every time I send her off to play in the meadow she looses her coveralls, loosing them somewhere in the grass. This leaves me to wander across the meadow in search of her things. Well, at least she’s covered in fur, so a little dirt won’t hurt her!
I am, however, very glad that I let her run wild! Tilly wandering about in the woods actually paid off! While I was busy searching one part of the forest, it was our tiny little mouse that found another of our lost ones…
Thank the heavens, we’ve recovered little Bailey! She was quite upset when Miss Tilly found her, howling in misery; covered in mud and twigs. Tilly had to work for nearly an hour to coax the puppy out from beneath the old rotted out log that she’d been hiding.
According to Tilly, the place where she’d discovered Bailey was terribly close to a busy road, with cars frequently zooming past at some speed. Gabriel was nowhere to be seen! Before you get upset and think the wrong thing, it’s not that bad, really. I truly believe that Gabriel will be just fine, and I think you’ll agree with me, once I tell you the rest of what Bailey told Tilly…
In tears, the puppy retold of how a car pulled off the road and an older gentleman got out and picked her brother up in his arms, before the puppy could run back into the woods. Then, the man walked back to the car, opening the back door and handing the puppy over to the outstretched hands of a small child. Then the man climbed back into the car, driving off into the night with Gabriel in the back seat. Bailey tried to run after the car, barking as loudly as she was able… but it was hopeless! She lost sight of the car almost immediately, and found herself completely alone in the dark. The frightened puppy was left to climb under an old log for shelter. There, she cried herself to sleep, cold and alone.
If it weren’t for Tilly’s keen eyes and ears, we may never have found the tiny puppy. Since then, she hasn’t left Tilly’s side for even a moment! The two of them formed a deep connection, ever since the mouse brought her back from the woods…
I suppose I should explain the reason that I left Tilly near the RV, rather than taking her with me. I really needed to search for any trace of either Acorn Valley, or Pinion Valley, which meant that I could be gone for hours. Not only that, it’s hard to focus your concerns and efforts on finding one baby, if your busy tending to another one, if that makes any sense. I desperately needed to look for any sign of Squagon, and the only place I thought to start searching was the valley where the little guy was born. I found the river and followed it for a bit, in the hopes that it would at least lead me in the general direction of Acorn Valley… remember, there was a sizeable river that flowed past that the little squirrel’s family home.
My plan worked like I’d hoped, leading me straight past the park where I’d first discovered Squagon’s kin so long ago, it seems. Sadly, the park was empty of any wildlife, including the Raven Brothers who were nowhere to be found! There’s now a walking bridge that goes from the park to the other side of the river, so I followed it across and headed down an old, long forgotten path. After an hour or so of walking, I came upon a small picnic area beside the path, deciding to stop for a rest. Sitting down at one of the tables, I leaned back against it and closed my eyes, listening to the birds singing in the trees, as I breathed deeply of the fragrant air that drifted past my face.
From somewhere in the trees above my head, I heard the sound of something small land on the table beside me, most probably a pinecone, or a branch. When I opened my eyes to see what had fallen from the tree, I nearly fell off the bench in surprise!
What had fallen from the tree above my head was NOT a pinecone, at all!
It was, in fact, a very glad to see me squirrel, who happens to bear the name of SQUAGON!!!
Now, I realize that he looks different than we’re used to seeing, but you have to understand that the little guy has been flying around in the forest, lost and confused, by all that has happened. Apparently, he awoke one morning to find himself there in that tree, looking across the river at Acorn Valley, where he’d been born. When he searched the park and found it empty, the confused squirrel went looking for the barn, only to discover that it too, had disappeared! In a panic, he went in search of Pinion Valley, and the rest of his family. When the little guy found no one, he had no idea what else to do, so he returned to the place where he’d first woken up, weeks earlier. The only thing he knew to do, was wait for me to come for him, as he apparently knew that I would! Huh!
Anyways, at least we can all breath a sigh of relief… now that he’s safely tucked away, back at the camper with the rest of his barn mate’s that have we’ve recovered, so far. It’s been good for them to have each other nearby for comfort and reassurance…
I apologize for Boomer being absent, but he’s still rather grumpy and stand-offish. Something’s been really bothering the dragon, ever since Tilly brought Bailey back to the camp without Gabriel accompanying them, too. All that I can think to do here, is to wait. We’ll have to give him more time to come ’round, that’s all!
Speaking of which, it’s time that I come ’round to ending this note. Keep your eyes on the horizon for the return of our beloved Eustace, as well as the return of mini-me with our mighty dragon, Brutus… never say never, right?!
Journey With Me! 