I am a work in progress, disclaimers out the wazoo, and few that I can truly call ones who love me for me. Don't know why and I am done trying to figure it out or care...I am flawed, loud, a force of nature, but underneath there is a soul...I hope you take the time to see her.
Personally, I try to stay away from questions like these… and I’ll tell you why.
I don’t like the idea of making an assumption as to what most people might be thinking, feeling, or even understanding… how should I know what most people don’t understand?! I don’t know most people, in fact, I know very few people on such a personal level that I would feel remotely confident in answering for them.
Anytime that I assume what another thinks and feels, or worse yet, what kind of person they are without first getting to know them… well, it’s like flirting with disaster!
With that said, I’ll pass on this prompt, but not without leaving you some cookies…
I feel more confident in guessing that you’ll want one.
Manufacturers of everything baby safe have made it nearly impossible for adults to open the thing not meant for a baby to touch… you know, pill bottles or doors or packages, etc.
Don’t get me started on those baby gates… sheesh!
Ahhh… the joyful memories of trying to open a door with one of those safety covers, while your arms are full of either laundry or toys or I don’t know… a sleeping baby!
So, yeah… there’s that!
It probably goes further than just childproof stuff, if I’m being fully. Most likely, we’ve probably all dropped food on the floor, at one time or another, due to a failed attempt at opening the wrapper. I know you don’t want to admit it, but you know it’s happened!
So yeah, I want to be skilled in the opening of all things childproof, and I think I’m onto something, in this regard. To be a ninja, one must practice and train constantly, which in turn uses up ones energy, making them hungry, right!? What if we put superfood for the brain into our favorite meals and snacks? I’ve already begun field testing, but I could sure use some outside opinions, just to be sure that I’m on the right track.
Here, try one of these magic safety cookies…
Let me know if they work, or if there are any side effects to make note of, like itchy feet… not that there’s anything to be concerned about, at least, I don’t think so.
Seriously, if I could spend all of my waking hours simply writing and telling stories for others… I would do it in a heartbeat!
I think that I was born to write, regardless of whether it ever goes anywhere, career wise. For me, the value isn’t in the paper that the book might be printed on. When I live by God’s daily provision, I don’t feel the pressure to make it big in the dollar department. My desire is to collect hearts and minds for my Creator, over the accumulation of worldly goods. Now that I’ve given you that goofy disclaimer about my motives, I’m hoping you’re following my line of thinking when I use writing as my answer to the prompt.
Every day, I do an immense amount of several things, talking being one of the biggest. I pray/talk to God, sing, and wear my poor husbands ears out with all my chatty antics. I read all the time, and yes, I write… a lot! But what I don’t get to do nearly enough is give all those writings a voice… you know, read them out loud to kids. Is it selfish to wish for laughter, smiles and happy hearts when I read my stories to little ones… maybe it is. But when the result is love for all involved, how can that be so bad.
Since God hasn’t told me otherwise, Imma just keep writing and weaving dreams, like I’ve been doing. Bur if I get a chance to do it more than I’m already doing, I won’t be wasting any chances to do it… just sayin!
If ever this were to be considered a mountain… well, God moved it!
We do not know why, but for whatever their reason, the owners of the property chose to come back to the table and change their first decision. Basically, they completely changed their mind and lowered the cost of the apartment in order to get us approved… not kidding!
It’s small, but absolutely adorable… and clean!
Everything is new, and bright, and warm, and just perfect perfect perfect!!!
Sure, it’s empty now, but let me tell you… when the bible says that God will restore all that the enemy has stolen, I am watching such miracles unfold right before my eyes!
Some very generous donations have already arrived from God, through the many different organizations that have been with us throughout all this… I swear, I think they’re more excited than we are about things finally coming together. They’ve already ordered us a new bed, a vacuum cleaner, and a boatload of bathroom and cleaning supplies, so that should arrive at the new address within another day or so…
I’m in love with the whole color scheme that was chosen for this layout. Now we just have to wait for the mail to catch up with is… lol.
Oh, and we have to go to the V.A. this afternoon to pick up a furniture voucher, gift cards for things like dishes and cooking supplies. Honestly, I am still a bit numb about all this, as if I expect I might wake from such a dream, you know…
Oh, by the way, right in the middle of all of this going on, I got a phone call from my middle daughter… I’m gonna be a Meemaw again… AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Don’t babies just make everything better… oh, and cookies.. cookies make everything better, too. I have to tell you something funny in all this. After loosing pretty much all that we owned, down to the point of wearing the same outfit for the last three and a half weeks, I managed to save two items… my KitchenAid mixer and my Cuisinart, no joke! I have a mountain of cookies to bake, lol! My hubby tested the oven straight away… it’s like he knows me, or something…
And, guess what? Both my little plants have survived, thus far. I promised them both that they’d be getting new pots and soil when we get them moved in… they’ve earned them!
I know that this must have been awful for you all, having to watch helplessly as we went through this desert, but I could NOT have done this without your love, your faithful prayers, and your constant encouragement!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I am so very richly blessed!
This chapter in my journey has closed, so let us move forward to see what God has in store four the future…
If I were to say anything of value, regarding what we just endured, I would say this… God has profoundly changed this wild and angry child, carefully molding her into that which is beautiful in His eyes.
It is indescribably here, resting beneath the shadow of my Father. From here, I can see for endless miles into the future… no, I haven’t reached some weird plane of visions, so don’t start freaking out on me. What I mean is that it’s not dark any longer, as it had been for so much of this process. Oh, I still can’t see the specifics of what will come… but it’s bright here, wherever I look… I might be wrong, but I think that it’s joy, or maybe hope, but it could also be the source of all those prayers everyone has been shouting to the heavens, on my behalf.
The question isn’t why… it isn’t when, who or even where. I’ve been thinking on this, of late. Whenever a person goes through troubled waters, so to speak, a great many of those questions occupy their mind. Unfortunately, those questions don’t often see a viable answer.
Sometimes, maybe the real useful question to ask is “How?” I realize that it’s a rather unusual one word question, but if you think about it, all the other questions were also one word queries.
Since I tend to spend most of my time on the water, with a good many stretches of rough rapids and storms, I finally got sick of all the other questions, as they never really do me any good until after the fact.
This time… I’m finding a breakthrough!
This time… How?
How will I hold?
How will I rest?
How will I stand?
How will I exercise my faith?
How will I use all that truth I’ve been reading about?
How will I reflect my trust in God?
How will I express all the peace, hope, love, faith, forgiveness and generosity of heart that he has been creating within me?
How will I bend the knee?
How will I lay before the throne?
The One I believe in has been working on my behalf from the beginning, so it’s not a question of when, where, who, or why for me any longer, but how…
To answer the how,
I will hold with grace…
I will rest in complete peace…
I will stand tall…
I will share my faith with you, by speaking of all my journey, whether it is calm, harsh, beautiful, or painfully ugly…
That’s the only way that I can reflect my trust in Him…
My stories and journal entries are how I express all the good fruits that He produces within my heart for you…
I will bend the knee to the God of ages, surrendering to His rule and authority over my life, no matter where I must go, what I must endure for however long I must endure it, and regardless of why!
How?
How can I think this way, say these things, and actually stand in the face of this overwhelming mountain? I’ll tell you how…
The power of surrender, that’s how!
All that my Creator asks of me is surrender to his will, plan and purpose… and I show my obedience and complete surrender in all those HOWS… just sayin!
When you are in the darkest moments of your journey, remember…
Hold, have peace, stand tall, speak only that which is good, edifying and hopeful, trust in the one who gave you life, and no matter what, always remember that your stories are important to others… you are important! Life’s gonna do what it’s gonna do, so we have to choose who we want to be as we get through it… or better yet, how we want to get through it!
“I’ve been everywhere, folks, I’ve been everywhere” should be stamped across my story somewhere, honestly!
If I could cross this beautiful nation any way that I wanted to… I’d go by boat!
Seriously, think about it for a second. Take all the lazy rivers, the rapids, as well as the big wide busy waterways across the country. Sure, you’d have to make use of taxi’s or buses to get from one to the other, as you made your way from one water source to another… but it would be worth it! Think of how many places you could see, visit, and experience along the way. What might be around the next bend in the river, you know?!
Sure, it would probably take half a year, a ton of money, planning and all that… but still.
Here’s a cookie for the road… or river… oh, bother, you know what I mean…
I may not be meant for friendship, I may not be meant for family, but when I pass by, I will leave my mark on you
For some it will be good, for some bad… but you WILL know that I have been there
If God is for me… I don’t care what you think of me
When I said that I would stand on my faith in God all the way to the end… I meant it! It’s easy to spout scripture from a pulpit, claim God’s miraculous power from your armchair, and wax poetic about a spirit filled life from a hot tub, but try doin it from the gates of hell… I dare you!
When you finally pass beyond the words shooting out of your mouth, the singing of heavenly hymns, and dancing for Jesus in front of the masses, you get to the plane of daily existence in the presence of the almighty God of ages… yeah, Him! You wait for your daily bread from meal to meal, you listen for his voice in the utter silence of abandonment. When you can look only to Him for each and every breath that you need to live, it is oddly peaceful.
Jesus sits with me through the endless hours of waiting, the closed doors and dead ends… its rather ugly right now, with no joyful or praiseworthy news to regale you with, or pretty cookies to hand out. These waters are pretty rough and roaring just now, so it has taken all I have to write anything at all. Boy, it’s harder than I thought it would be to write down my feelings without saying some rather nasty and lethal remarks about things… sheesh!
Yes, it’s really bad right now, and no, I’m not going to speak on it… at least not til we’re beyond this part of the journey. The actual fight for survival puts one in a compromised emotional state, bringing out responses that you never knew you were capable of… so it’s best not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, trust me! You know why? Not so much to be nice to the folks hurting you, but to act honorably before God… to please Him and Him alone!
I could disappear today without a trace, leaving you to wonder where I went for a day or so, but you’d move on soon, as I’m nothing more than an entry in an online journal that anyone can read…
… but to God, I am someone specific, like no other on this planet, someone very special and sought after… He foreknew of my birth, my life, my failures, my successes, my wrongs, my rights… I am perfect in my imperfection, beautiful in my brokenness, wanted, cherished, and never ever forgotten or rejected for being who I am…
I am Wiwohka, with a heart that rushes, rages, and powerfully flows toward the home that awaits me… this world is NOT my home, but I will walk through it with as much grace as I can muster… to put a smile on my heavenly father’s face… to make my Creator proud of the work that He has, and is doing in my life… that is enough!
This site is most likely going to go down, as things are financially at the end for this leg of my journey, but don’t lose hope because God is leading me somewhere so that’s not a bad thing. There are a number of books still to be written… even if God is the only one to ever read them.
I’ve not been posting, as it’s far better to remain silent than to speak words of pain, anger, and frustration… things circumstantial have a way of bringing rise to my serpent’s tongue, if you get my meaning.
It’s beyond my ability to understand how many times an agency can lie to your face.. anyways, this is the reason I cannot speak of things, just now. We’re exhausted, extremely stressed, both sicker than ever with some flue (yay), so it’s clear that my judgement is somewhat compromised.
After waiting 10 days on that application to process, they finally called to say that there was still paperwork missing… and that apartments no longer available… and we still need to wait for an inspection, which God only knows how long that could take. They keep saying one thing and then just blowing right past their own promises, only to then make us feel as if it’s our fault that they can’t seem to get things done.
How does one describe the feeling of being overlooked, minimized, forgotten, undervalued, passed over, left behind, discarded by society, as no more than a burden to the world? I can tell you that these are my feelings, but I am unable to even begin to describe it’s toll on the physical body. Fortunately for me, while my body declines… my spirit is on fire!
I see His hand in the darkness, holding onto us, binding us to each other and to Him, so that’s how I endure… Jesus chose me before the foundation of the earth, died to make a way for me, and sits ever faithfully beside me, here in this wasteland… I am still NOT alone!
God Bless and keep all of you, my friends. I love you dearly and hope you are well.
Journey With Me! 