In terms of how I’m feeling and where my thoughts are today, the only real words that come to mind are things like weary… or tired!

Christians tend to stay away from talking about how they really feel, as there is a great amount of pressure to “REPRESENT!” If we open our mouths to speak of Gods love, we are placed into a special category… one where we aren’t allowed to feel REAL hurt or struggle! We are Christians, are we not, so we forfeit the right to be human… if we display any sign of weakness, we must be frauds or our God is not real! Maybe it’s the world that makes us feel this way, or perhaps just our own fears manifesting… maybe both!

The bible is pretty clear on the truth of what we are called to do, which is simply believe on Him and profess our belief to others, in order to share the gift we, ourselves, have been given.

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9,10

Not only did God make it very clear what we should do, as his children, but Jesus also gave full disclosure that,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

When circumstances get so overwhelming that I feel the weight of things bearing down on my spirit so heavily, sometimes all I can manage is, “I’m tired… so so tired!”

Often times I feel that with each step of obedience to God, the pressure of circumstances seem to grow exponentially! If I sat here and blurted out the laundry list of what I’m facing every day, there would be a number of you who might be appalled, while others might say, “Meh! I’ve been through worse” and out will come the game of let’s compare scars! Not only is this not healthy for anyone in the conversation, it’s irrelevant! 

Where does that leave me, as a woman of faith? I do not wish for my circumstances to define me, but instead, I choose to accept my circumstances as they are, allowing God’s grace and mercy to define who I am…

I am a woman in human form!

I was designed in the image of God!

I am flawed, and in need of God in every fiber of this being!

I chose to walk this path that is narrow … my choice!

My God is with me in every moment, of every day, through the Joy and the Pain! I am not alone!

I am also reminded that I have been given all that I need to survive things. The bible actually gives us, as Christians, a how-to list of sorts, found in the book of Ephesians…

The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18

My favorite part is in verse 13, where it says that after you have done everything you can, just stand! I feel like God is telling me that after I have done what I’m able, and I am feeling weary, it’s ok to feel tired… as long as I am doing my resting from beneath His shadow! 

So… today I’m feeling weary or spiritually tired, if you will, and it’s alright! Just because I feel weary doesn’t mean anything about who I am has changed! I am still the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus! I am still the child that He chose and set apart! AND… I will stand, after I’ve done all He’s asked, I will stand… after I dwell in His word, I will stand… as I pray without ceasing, I will stand… as I lean not on my own understanding, I will stand… even when I am weary and very very tired, He holds me in the palm of His hand and carries me… so that I can STAND!