I’m going to be straight up honest… when I saw the prompt this morning, my first response was to give a one word “not so nice” retort.
Trying to come up with a reply to a painful question, while trying to enjoy my first cup of Jo, is fully out of the question!
Rather than being short, sarcastic, or abrasive, I will simply say that this is a very painful place in my heart, and I am still in a healing phase…
Here, have a yummy Biscotti with your mornin beverage…
We see what we want to see…
As I sit here writing this, I am in my mid 50’s and things today look a whole lot different from the way they looked when I was a child… including how I see God, how I see myself, and how I look at and understand the Bible. It has been a long and unforgettable journey, to say the least.
Something I find interesting about the Bible, is how I can read the same passage multiple times throughout my life, and get something completely different out of it each time. Others have said this, as well, so I know I’m not crazy. I think it means that not only is the Bible an incredible book, but my heavenly Father is pretty darn smart!
As a small girl, the only pictures of God that I had, came from skits and movies depicting mans idea of how things happened in biblical history.
When I first believed, I was just 18… so young, so sure I had things figured out. I was certain that if I read all of the Bible, I could make better sense of the world… so off I went to Bible Seminary for a full year of life changing study. We went through the whole thing… all of it!
As life unfolded and the years went by, I found myself caught up in every Bible in a Year reading plan, still trying to make sense of it all… sometimes finding peace and understanding of things… sometimes not.
Funny thing about the word of God is… no matter where we are on our life’s journey, it is always applicable to where we are at that time, in some shape or form. Life forces our perspectives to shift and sometimes change, in ways we never saw coming.
I know that I have had enough education and life history to fully take folks on a very informed and educated journey through the word of God, but that is not who I am… not my style. Why? Truthfully, I am wise enough to understand, after all these years, I still am no closer to complete understanding than when I began. How can I be sure that what I try to teach is, in fact, the correct answer? Besides, I don’t feel like doing someone else’s homework, that’s why! What I mean is that while I like to share thoughts and insights with you, regarding my journey, it is just that… mine… not yours, as that is for you to share.
And… let’s all not forget that even with all that education, I still managed to perform quite a Kerfuffle of my life, so I certainly hope you didn’t think I had stuff figured out. Along this line of thinking, I suspect that perhaps my own painful family mistakes, were to play a part in why I see Moses story the way I do this time around my reading of Exodus.
I suppose that my mind, nowadays, always looks right through the ugly mess of things, seeking to better understand the heart of man, in all of it. Otherwise, I think we would all simply find each other disgusting and evil… leaving no room for grace, mercy and forgiveness, all of which are fueled by LOVE!
I set aside my soap opera skew of the situation, as I delved into this part of the bible. I realized pretty rapidly, that I was going to have to put all my scholarly school caps on and hoof it into some ACTUAL Ancient Egyptian and Israelite history archives. I learned way back in Seminary that Context is a vital part of reading, studying and applying the word of God.
Before I can have an insight, with both wisdom and clarity I must grasp what it was really like at the time of Moses birth… laws, traditions, and history of all involved.
I viewed some of my questions next to the Torah… as well as balancing it with insights from other Well known theologians. In all of it, I keep in mind that I am utilizing Google, who can be a fickle friend when it chooses. I will handle the search engines with kid gloves as I continue my research.
I have discovered a great deal about birth, infant care, and ancient traditions regarding a baby’s first few years. I feel pretty confident in my idea that traditionally, mothers of that time, regardless of whether they were Egyptian or Israelite, ALL nursed their babies for approximately 2 to 3 years of age minimum… sometimes as long as 4 to 5 years of age, depending on where I read.
I also came to understand that there is a mixed pot of understanding as to whether the two midwives were even Hebrew, but quite possibly they may have been Egyptian midwives who converted. I ended up down a rabbit hole of who was who, for several hours, and then decided it wasn’t worth arguing over. The important thing in my mind, is that those woman chose to obey God over their Pharaoh… bottom line.
As far as whether Pharaoh knew that Moses was Hebrew early on, is also being tossed back and forth with the scholars. What my take away is here, is that I am pretty sure that a good number of people knew, some articles even suggest his family kept in contact with him, even after he moved into the palace.
What does all of this stuff mean… what did I get out of it… what’s my insight?
People see what they want to see… when WHAT they see… is NOT what they want to see…
Sometimes this is good and works in ones favor, but often it does not turn out so well… not at all like we were sure it would.
However we wish to look at this story, for whatever her reasons, Moses mother put him into that basket, and for whatever her reasons, Pharaohs daughter took him as her son. Facts are facts!
No matter what his attitude was, the Pharaoh allowed Moses to live in the palace as his grandson. We also know that Pharaoh tried to kill his grandson, causing Moses to flee into the desert. Family bonds were destroyed, and even to this day the same thing holds true for me… fact is fact, and the why’s here just don’t matter. What does matter, for me, is believing that God saw everything happening and had things well in hand, as we see further down the road in the Israelites story…
That is for another time though, as I have been rambling now for a good bit. For today, I want to leave you with a song by Elevation Worship titled What I see and it seems to line right up with my heart this morning. I hope you take a listen before we head to the tables for some Fall Festival Delights…
Help yourselves and enjoy,
Just as the wordprompt question keeps doin, I too will continue to walk off after starting a conversation.
I had planned to write a whole play on words using that song, These Boots Were Made For Walkin. There were a good many rhymes in there too, but alas… it’s Sunday, and I am too lazy and comfortable inside all my cozy blankets to work it out.
In answer to the prompt this morning, as you already know, I enjoy walking as my favorite way of stretching the ole muscles every day.
In honor of the squirrels I feed peanuts to each day when I am out walking, here, have a peanut…
There are gonna be those days..
We all have them, you know, those days when we lose our temper, saying or doing somethings that is less than what we are proud of, less than what we want to be remembered by.
Rather than make you squirm, I am more than willing to display my own dysfunctional antics, if it brings encouragement to somebody else along the highway of life lessons.
Todays Note to Self #11 is a well known phrase we should all have heard many times already…
If you are gonna Talk the Talk,
Be prepared to Walk the Walk!
I have no idea where I originally heard this from, and have no intention of figuring it out, as it doesn’t really matter. I get to say that because it is my dirty laundry I am airing, so I do it the way I want.
As the daughter of the Most High King, I have a duty and an obligation to uphold His standards of things, but sometimes things happen that bring out our not so Godly human nature. For me, it doesn’t happen that often, but when it does… oh baby! This was the reason I made sure to include a Note to Self on the subject. It’s going to happen for everyone, at some point, so let’s just put it on the table to work with, instead of sweeping it under the living room carpet. Trust me, eventually you will start tripping over the rug if all your human nature is stored underneath.
I will now briefly share an example of a not so fine walk to compare to the talk that comes out of my mouth… why, because I am human and I think you should understand why I put this note to self in here… Balance…
My lack of vision has been something you may have read about recently, but for me this has been ongoing for a good bit now. I was unaware of how stressful this has been on my body, mind and spirit, until the other day. While out with my husband running errands, we ended up in a Safeway parking lot with him looking up directions and me having a full on panic attack. It was awful, and I actually found myself screaming profanities at an unsuspecting construction worker blocking our path out of the parking lot. Not kidding… I full on went Truckers Wife on him and it was not pretty.
After all was said and done, I felt like the biggest Jesus Faker out there… what if I were to run into this young man and his family in the grocery line, or a doctors office or something? I had three servings of humble pie for dinner that night, with a late night dessert of humiliating guilt that gave me a gut ache til morning.
Here is the funny thing about that situation and the entire Note to Self list… Life will be filled with those situations, and I put the #11 Note together long before last week. I knew I would need the reminder, and not in the way you might think. When I read this particular note, it does not leave me feeling guilty over things, but rather, free to get up, dust myself off, and help myself to the All You Can Eat Buffet of Gods Eternal Grace for this daughter of His!
I am so grateful that Jesus did the actual perfect Walk and Talk, so I just need to keep following His walk and I will be just fine…
For me, I am akin to Dorothy in the movie Wizard of Oz… There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…
The idea of paying any amount of money to get rubber banded off our planet, somehow wasn’t ever a dream of mine. You would think that it would be right up my imaginations alley to fly among the stars. Nope!
From the time I was a child I wanted to be a Cowgirl… not a Spacegirl!
Though we may not have much, to this day, I would pay all that I own to ride a horse again without pain, or risk of permanently destroying what’s left of my back. I would pay anything, just to feel the wind in my hair, or feel the sun kiss my skin… and hear nothing but the call of the wild.
In my imagination, horses are way more fantastical than a metal Twinkie wrapper… and riding them is much more risk worthy, to me personally. I would much rather experience falling off my horse and hurting my back, than imploding inside my tin can bullet, out in the vacuum of space.
Besides, if there really are Alien planets out there, they have made it pretty clear that Earth is one place they avoid… like we are the seedy underbelly of the universe. Once we got out into space heading for any of the outer planets, we would immediately get pulled over by the Uni Troopers.
Our ship would get impounded to make sure there were no hidden humans in our spare engine parts bay, and I would get stuck in a holding cell with a six eyed, tentacle waving, gelatinous looking Alien that was afraid I might make THEM SICK!
As that was most likely more information than you or WordPress ever wanted to know about my thoughts on space travel, I will disengage from this Spacial Travel idea, and simply say I prefer to drive horses instead of space ships.
Here, have some horsy snacks…
and of course,
F.Y.I. that is a granola bar, and it is perfectly sanitary… see how he only uses his front teeth… no drool here!
WordPress wants to know about my alternative career plans, so there ya go… Bam!!!
If I could be on any path I choose, then I want to be a professional Poker Player! Why? Duh… I wanna be able to bluff, wear a fake face, and take other peoples money away with the wave of my hand… wait, that’s a politician… my bad! Yeesh… no way!
Joking aside, while I do love playing cards, and would love to make a bunch of money while having fun at the same time… in honesty, I prefer using Reece’s Pieces and M&Ms so I can eat my winnings.
Besides, I’ve no intention of leaving the path I am on.
I am a writer…
A retired mom…
and a Full on Woman of Faith… potty mouth, temper, and all!
I’m all full up on a career path, a life path, and a spiritual one.
Thanks for asking though. I know as our friendly neighborhood WordPrompt, you were simply curious. I answered without being mean, even though sometimes you ask too many suspiciously personal questions.
Anyways…. here…. have a warm cocoa… it’s freezing outside.
While I can make a pretty mean chili, salsa that can melt the paint off a house, homemade soup bowls to fill with dreams, and a good many other dishes I picked up along the way… baking is my passion!
Not just baking, but desserts mainly… and not just desserts… I LOVE COOKIIIIEEEESSSSS!
I am well versed in baking most types of cookies, but my most highly prized handheld delight would by my secret recipe of ………………..
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
These are not just anybody’s cookies, but my own twisted version. While I won’t tell you the exact recipe, I will say that it mostly has to do with HOW I bake them, more so than all my secret stuff I throw in before baking the dreamy mouthfuls.
Let me just say that I have perfected the art of perfect oven temperature, yummy ingredients, and a sore back from standing bent over in front of the oven, and watching for the perfect moment to pull em…
They come out golden brown and crispy on the surface, but when you break them open they are perfectly ooey gooey on the inside… A tall glass of milk is a must for these, as I forgot to mention that I make them about the size of an open hand, not a child’s hand, no no no, but a grown up people size hand…
They were Huge!
When my girls were small, we spent a great amount of time involved in church. Every spring the church would do bake sales to raise funds for our Children’s Ministries. I would make a triple batch of my cookies, wrap them individually in colored cellophane and ribbon, set up a spot on the church bake sale table, and watch the cookies disappear within less than a half hour. That’s a lot of cookies people, A LOT!
When I refused time and again to give up my recipe to some of the moms, I seriously worried for my safety a few times… lol… just kidding!
I did often jokingly say that my recipe was a Government Secret and If I told them the recipe, I would have to make them disappear… that always got some laughs.
So there you have it folks, hot off the press… we can bake cookies pretty good… here, these ones aren’t mine but they will do in a pinch…
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Jack Handey
Your turn…
I remember enough!
Who’s up for some Poetry?
I was going to post a picture of my plant today, but found this while searching my photo files… I figure that the plant can wait a few days. Have you ever been in a place where you see something you yourself have done, written or said… but it seemed as if someone else did the writing or saying, though you know it was you?
I guess I write so much, I occasionally find myself surprised at things I myself wrote. It is not a disappointment, nor something to be proud of necessarily, but it makes me happy inside for some reason. Perhaps I am able to see my true reflection in the words written for others…
I think all too often in life, we do and say mostly what the world will accept of us, or what we perceive the world might accept from us.
I think I like the way I write better, when I don’t care what the world thinks, but more so what I think or even better yet, what God thinks… in my opinion.
Maybe reading old writings of my work, encourages me, because it reflects a spirit of healing, growth and faith, which had not been there for so much of my life. Our human propensity to overcome, rise above and walk on, always amazes me… that comes from God folks, not us, but the one whom we were designed after. We are all made in His image, and therefore by design, are fully capable of tapping into this part of our spirit.
It comes down to Freedom… freedom of choice! God has given us all we need to get this life done, we need only accept the tools given and get it done! Will it be easy? Is it ever? Life interruptus happens for everyone.
Choices, choices, choices… what we do with what we have is what makes us who we are… Period!
When I look back over the things I have written over time, I clearly have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of my choices, as well as the lasting scars of the choices made by my predecessors. I have also witnessed a resilience within myself, that has apparently always been there, but had been obscured by my attempts to just survive!
Perhaps I have simply arrived finally, at the cross roads of Too Damn Tired and Suck It Up Buttercup! Whatever it is, I like it! When someone came up with the phrase, “What don’t kill you makes you stronger”, I now have a full understanding of what they meant.
When I read that poem I wrote a ways back, it resonated with me, as if a stranger had written it for me to read, and not the other way around.
That folks, is growth! As I heal and grow in my walk with God, the words that begin flowing onto the page are actually quite beautiful, and I can say that without pride, as I think they fully come from God… maybe not for you, but rather, for me…
Journey With Me! 