Oh My Goodness, I slept so good last night! I didn’t even dream anything, I don’t think. I awoke to the pitter patter of rain, softly hitting the roof above my head, and for a while, I simply lay there enjoying the sound.
My heart has been a bit heavy of late, thinking on things of the past, the present, and the future. Some may assume that as a Christian, I should now be perfectly capable of living only for the day, never looking back, and having absolutely no concerns for the future. As a whole, I can say this about my life, as well as, my walk with God. But the world is still turning, time waits for no man, and many times, looking at the past helps to navigate the future. Nobody said it was going to be smooth sailing, as a Christian, and if they did… they were lying!
I am still a human being, though my spirit walks by faith, assured of my origin and my destination, without any doubts! However, I must tend this vessel, with grace, mercy and understanding. While I know what I know, I still feel what I feel, having to care for a physical and emotional body that has been through much! Sometimes, I’m simply affected by seasonal changes, of which, we are right square in the middle of with springtime. At other times, life changes and circumstances play out a sort of cause and effect response, as I don’t handle change nearly as well as I did when I was younger.
Sometimes, it feels like things are changing too fast, leaving me feeling emotionally shaky, for lack of a better explanation. I realize that I’m a bit tougher on myself than anybody else is, becoming impatient with this body, for always feeling panic when change is on the horizon. I should be able to handle this by now, as we’ve been living like this for a while. Nope! Every time things change, fear and panic start banging on my front door, requiring every ounce of my faith to answer. I will say that my response time has improved dramatically, along with recognizing God in the midst of things at all times! I see him moving, feeling His love and reassurance, along with hearing His voice steadily guiding my steps. Timing! Timing is everything!
Perhaps I’ve left you bewildered, as to what on earth I’m rambling on about. I’ll try and explain. I know that I’ve already mentioned about my husband going back to school, along with financial support being provided to assist him in his endeavors. What I haven’t mentioned, is the part where, they want to move us into better living conditions. You’d think that this idea would be a welcome one, as we’ve been living without a working toilet or hot water since November of last year. Honestly, I know it is most likely for our good, but even after living like this for so long, I find myself thinking, No Thanks, we’re good! What???
One word…. CHANGE!
Throw that word on top of the fact that I’m desperately trying to finish editing my first book! Maybe now you might better appreciate the first two sentences of this post. Every evening, for nearly a week now, I’ve been getting messages from my Overthinkers Anonymous group, asking for a guest speaker. It doesn’t help that the book I’m writing is my memoirs. Constantly reading and rereading about my own past, will certainly add to the struggle. Oddly, I’ve been experiencing a great amount of peace from this project, as I believe it to be God’s desire for me to complete. I am compelled to finish that which I believe God has called me to do, no matter how high the water rises or how fast the current flows. For goodness sake, my name is Wiwohka, the raging and roaring water joining that river!
While we may possibly be moving into an apartment, and out of this old RV, I’ll go where my husband goes and follow his lead. I’ll continue through my audio recordings, one day at a time, and with a faith born from walking with my Creator. I know that God knows what will come, as He has a purpose for my life, offering me a hope and a future! I can look at it like gifts or presents, that have yet to be opened. Who doesn’t like the excitement of a gift? We love to shake the package, trying to guess what is inside. That’s what dreams are made of… gifts yet to be received! How boring life might be, if we knew all of what was to come? No need to study, search, or learn anything new… no thank you!
We all go through things in our lives, some good and some bad. Change is a constant thing, leaving us to either adjust or get trampled by it! If I can leave you with anything to remember, from all my chatter, it would be one word… GRACE! This was the word that floated through my mind this morning, as I lay there listening to the rain.
God poured it all over my spirit this morning, allowing me to accept three truths. One truth is that He will never leave me to do things on my own. The second truth is that I will finish this book, one day at a time and with God fully in it! The third truth is that it won’t matter where He leads, I will follow. I trust God’s truths and timing for my journey… I’ve yet to reach a lamppost along the path that wasn’t brightly lit!!!!
Journey With Me! 