If you know me… at all… you knew this would be my response, and you also know that I don’t dwell in whys any longer… the answer is clear… nuff said!!!
Ok gang… I got a funny story for you, that happened just the other night, in fact!
If you didn’t already know this about me, I am an avid gamer, along with my husband and his brother. We play an assortment of differing computer games depending on the mood, or time available. Whatever you wish to call it, we call it family time well spent. About a week ago we decided to bring up a certain Zombie game we play off and on, loading up a local server and diving into some crazy adventures!
Now, something you should know about the dynamics of our trio… my husband is called the squirrel man, my brother-in-law is a wanderer, leaving me to be the runner. I will explain…
The squirrel man means pretty much what it says… let’s go over here and gather all these supplies…Squirrel… gone!
The wanderer means that he is just always mia… wandering off to do things in secret… til you hear him die and he starts swearing… that’s how we find him!
The runner means that at the first sign of trouble, I will dust you and be gone and running in the other direction before you can turn around!
That being said, these two share a singular family trait… LOOT TROLLS!!!! These two can be in a room and clearing loot boxes before I clear the doorway… I swear if I could shoot my teammates, I would tag both of em! Anyway, I have learned to play smart with these two, sometimes having to play a bit dirty, if you know what I mean.
So, we had been playing for several days before I realized that my husband left the CREATIVE button active in settings. I clicked it… and man did my game change… lol! Looking back, I distantly recall my husband saying that we were going to not cheat on this server, but if he left the button active, is it cheating… really?
Technically, it’s the Loot Trolls fault! Do you know how frustrating it is to always be given hand me down weapons or armor, only after they found better weapons and stuff to get upgrades, or have to constantly ask for more bullets since the only drops they leave me are … PAPER!
Well, we were clearing some building and I found myself cornered by zombies, emptying my clip and both hitting the zombie and shooting myself in the foot in my initial panic… most the bullets hit the floor and wall! I went to check my inventory for more ammo, but there was only PAPER… so, ladies and gents, I clicked the little Creative button and reloaded! I didn’t just reload, though, because it was like being in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory! Guns, Ammo, Food, Tools… you name it, it was available! I rejoined the guys and continued playing, all the while, sporting Atilla the Hun Zombie proof armor, Terminator level firearms and unlimited ammo and food… shhhhhhhhh!
This went on for two days before my husband commented about how our base was covered in concrete now, which is hard to find and manufacture by the way, and suggested that his brother was cheating… man, I am sneaky and mean, but couldn’t let someone else take the blame for what I was doing. So I confessed… sort of… by telling him that I had discovered the Creative Button turned on and used it for a few things around the base. I did admit to restocking my bullets, when he questioned me about that part. He has since turned that button setting off, but I don’t really mind… I avoided sharing with him about the armor, food, weapons, repair kits, antibiotics, med kits, water and other sundries that I acquired, while shopping at ZMart… what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!
Am I a woman of God… absolutely… would I ever do something like this in the real world… absolutely not… BUT… in a post Apocalyptical world, accompanied by two Loot Trolls… you bet your bottom dollar I will … and not even feel bad about it! When you play with the big dogs, you gotta be willing to get dirty… or get left with no bullets!
Not on my watch!
When I wrote the title to the prompt this morning, my plan was headed in one direction, and God pulled my heart somewhere else, but the title still fits completely…
As I began to type my response, I had an immediate picture of when Jesus was overturning the tables inside the temple, with such righteous anger! The people had turned sacrificing in the temple into a marketplace for profiting instead of propheting, if you get my drift! Leave it to us humans to make everything about us… and I am not immune to this behavior, f.y.i.
I, myself, am not above withholding my love from others, if I feel wronged in anyway or don’t get the attention I think I deserve! Isn’t that kind of similar to the temple situation? The ones setting up shop to sell only the best white doves or perfect lambs for sacrifice… only the best for God, and a bit for the pocket of the holy serviceman doing the selling. How did they get from being holy servants of the temple to the marketplace of holiness they built for themselves… uh oh… I said it didn’t I? Self… ouch!!!
Without being too long in the tooth here, the greatest gift that I think anyone could give to me, would be to simply love whomever is near you… just because you can, without any thanks or recognition… just because you can SEE them in need! That’s it!
This is an ouch statement that I aim at myself, as I am just as guilty as anyone else for having selfish motives… we’re humans… it happens!
With that being said, it doesn’t mean we have to be this way all the time, but it does take attitude and effort on our part, as children of God. So, to put my money where my heart is, I offer a completely free “I love you, and I see you” here in the lobby for anyone needing it… help yourself and take as much as you like… it’s refillable, indestructible, and guaranteed to be real… it says so on the back of the package I got from the manufacturer! I have been getting shipments from Him for years now, and I have yet to ever return the product!
Here, have a free cookie…
So….. yeah….. yesterday was a bit of an interesting day. I woke up around 7 am, in order to get my quiet time in before my day started. From there, I did my usual morning things like make coffee, tidy up and then my usual writing with you guys. Then we got in the truck and headed out for an MRI that had been on the books for a while. I’d felt a bit snappy and irritable with my husband more than normal, but tried to dismiss it as nothing more than HIM needing to grow up… don’t laugh!
We arrived at the Imaging Center and I filled out all the papers needed, and was called back shortly after I had turned them in at the front desk. I was greeted by a young man that walked me back to where I could change and get ready for the test. I could barely understand what he wanted, as he spoke so briefly and quietly that it was difficult to hear him… but I obediently changed and waited to be called back. In truth, it felt like I was being given a test by housekeeping. Throughout the test I don’t think he spoke more than 10 sentences to me, and after the test completed, I had to walk myself back to change and then find the exit… a very cold and lonely place to be, for a soul who has carried this pain for some time without knowing what’s wrong.
We then drove to the grocery store and picked up necessities, and headed back home. Seems fine, right?
My husband continued things around me quietly, not attempting to engage me in conversation … at all… don’t worry, he wasn’t mad or anything… just smart!
Things went like this for about an hour, before he asked me some random benign question, waiting to gauge my response, I suppose. I tried to answer the question but the only answer I could give was that I just didn’t feel good emotionally… and then just climbed into his arms and had a big long cry fest! Folks, I didn’t even see this coming… but he did! Afterwards, he remarked that he could see me struggling with something ever since I’d woken up that morning. I am so grateful that he notices these things that I can overlook, and has the tenderness to handle me with kid gloves, when I get these storms… and maybe that’s all that they are, just storms brought on by nothing more than seasonal darkness…. sometimes!
I have storms, as I call them, for differing reasons and sometimes they are seasonal, while at other times, the storms are brought on by circumstances… and there are those days where it is both! I can usually spot one or the other encroaching on my peace, but when I get the combo it can hit me like a Mack Truck… hard! I am a tender of my own scars, but sometimes I miss a bleeder… and if I forgot my sutures or medical tape, it is a bit of an uphill climb to get to Gods medicine cabinet (Bible) for supplies.
Yesterday was that day for me, and sharing it with you today, helps me look at my emotions more clearly. I am currently in a major fight or flight reaction to that silly MRI, and I will give some information that might bring things more clearly into focus for you, as well as myself!
I’ve already shared about my childhood traumas, so there’s no need to beat a dead horse! From my childhood came the distrust and fear of others, being reinforced throughout the years by continued trauma and professional Caregivers who told me I was fine! I wasn’t fine, and unfortunately, I’m still walking around with something that is causing a great amount of pain. God has called me to walk forward by faith, trusting Him to carry me through the effort of trying one more time to ask someone for help. Yuck!
Uh Uh! No Way! Why? Maybe everyone else was right and I am JUST FINE! It’s all in my head and I am being just a big fat baby… fine! I know I know Lord… I have to practice what I preach, walk the walk that I talk… I’m scared… what if it’s bad… but I said that I trust you God… but I feel so tired… I know I know… I am carrying things that you already said that you would carry… you are right beside me… I am not alone… ok ok, I will do as you ask, not because I want to and not because I feel like it, because I don’t want to be told it’s all in my head, and I don’t want to be told that it’s bad, and I am so so tired of being poked prodded and sent home in pain as everybody tries to find the problem…
So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Ok God, I hear you loud and clear… I’m still going to cry til the storm passes, but no fight or flight… built God Tough, right?!
I know I am still upset by the last Dr. Apt., as the doctor actually said that he highly doubted that I had a full hysterectomy, at only 28… I’m sorry but I happened to have been in the operating room when it occurred, so I’m pretty sure I got the information right?! What did that even have to do with my back, I ask you? I have had such a struggle to get my back fixed over the years that any little thing negative gets logged as evidence against doctors, and in truth, that’s not very fair. Besides, if God is in charge then I need not concern myself with those negatives. God used my tenacity with the doctors 20 some years ago, pissing em off so bad that they sent me to the Neurologist just to shut me up! That’s where they found the ruptured disc in my neck and promptly fixing it!
I am in Gods hands, so either He fixes it himself, sends me to a doctor to fix it or I have to bear this pain to the gates of heaven… I believe that there is a purpose, whether I see it clearly or not… One God, One Book, All In, and to whatever end!
That hymn, One day at a time sweet Jesus, keeps floating through my mind. Whether anyone reads through all this mess or not, I feel better!
I need a cookie…
While I could answer the prompt in its current form, I find the question intrusive!
Now, if you asked me what I learned, or perhaps what kind of trouble I found myself in while attending said establishment, I’d be happy to answer… but not NOW!
If you were thinking that I don’t want to answer because I didn’t go to college, you would be incorrect, as I carry degrees and certifications that I’m quite proud to have accomplished in my life. It’s just none of your business, unless we are chatting together and you asked me about myself.
This is where my problem with the prompt question lies… it’s like a computerized newspaper that just fills up with everyone’s personal information and then simply shares it with the entire planet in one fell click! Has everybody simply forgotten three very valuable letters in the alphabet… you know, T…..M…..I!
In all honesty, it baffles me, in a world where Identity Theft is a real problem… we freely give out personal names, intimate information about our lives, as well as pertinent personal information for filling out a credit application! No one needs to know my school history here, my personal political views, nor what I ate, at whatever restaurant I happened to be dining in last week! Have we all simply lost our minds?
Now, had the prompt asked one of my alternative ideas, like what did I learn or what did we do for fun while gaining an education, I would have been happy to answer. I have a ton of stories to fill these prompts, but I can’t spend all day, every day, correcting and adjusting these prompts for WordPress… I have other things to be writing about that are much more worthy of reading, in my opinion.
While I am committed to not being flippant with my answers on the Daily Prompt, you will see my MeeMaw surface to lecture folks on things that should be common sense to us all! We are writers for crying out loud… give us writer questions that allow us to be creative, not something that a friend would inquire about. I don’t know about any of you guys but I’m not on a friend basis with any of the WordPress developers… just sayin! We should all be exercising more caution while using social media, and this site is a form of social media, with the same risk of trollers, lonely hearts, and souls with nefarious behavior wandering in and out of each of our sites.
While some may not be bothered by the very personal questions, I will say that I am, and fully intend to belly ache about it some! The internet and social media are a double edged sword, so be very careful how you wield it!
Here, have a cookie…
Wild
Wasting
Wishing
Wanting
Wandering
Wistful
White
Wanted
Willing
Wonderful
Waking
Weightless
Walking with God
We are never alone, for He is with us always!
According to Dinky I Do!
I suppose that’s why she decided to come hang with Brutus, Tilly and myself.
Living the way we live, at the present time, means my playtime is reserved for trail hikes in the park with my squirrel friends, and my writing. I still don’t have the ability to safely drive, so I do not go far from my hobbit hole, as I affectionately call it!
That being said, my mind is free to go wherever it desires… meditation, prayer or reading is the fuel for my inner playtime fires! Who else can say that they get to spend hours a day, just dreaming up things and writing about them? If there were a bunch of activity and people floating in and out all the time, I’m not sure how much writing I could successfully get done.
Ask any child who encounters me or any animal I have ever owned… I AM FUN! I had my grandson fully believing that we had a hilarious Troll that lived in the culvert just across the yard… I KNOW HOW TO PLAY!!!!
If you look back over all those stories I told you about my girls when they were small, you can see how much we played. They learned about magic Christmas Trees, a mouse that could trade Chapstick for baby teeth, and many more stories that I spun to fill their dreams.
With life rolling forward and leaving childhood in the past, I am left with nobody to play those games with anymore, in that fashion.
I had no intention of letting playtime die off, so I searched and searched… and then I found YOU! You are where I pour my imagination and dreams, hoping to bring a smile to your face or brighten your day. Every time you visit to read my wordy words, it makes my heart happy.
My playtime is in the world I like to create for others, gaining so much joy out of bringing smiles… or sometimes think about hard stuff in a lighthearted atmosphere, hence all the cookies you’ve had to eat!
Everybody that has seen the movie Mary Poppins, should have picked up on the fact that she just wouldn’t quit, no matter the obstacle. In my opinion, Mary Poppins embodied playtime, all the while, teaching valuable lessons to those children… as well as their father. All these years I have dreamt of owning a magic Mary Poppins bag, though all I have to show for myself thus far, is a purse filled with broken peanut shells, grocery store receipts, lip balm, and a bunch of stuff I can’t remember why I kept.
As far as answering the prompt question, playtime for anyone is whatever and wherever we make it… we all have playtime available in our hearts and minds that just needs to be let out! I think that might be the secret side of that phrase young at heart. Below, is the actual definition given by the dictionary, but it certainly doesn’t do it justice, in my opinion…
: thinking and acting like young people : active and having a lot of energy
I have to say, I didn’t expect the definition to be so short and loosely defined. It should read, Young at heart: verb Thinking and acting like young people that don’t need everything handed to them on a silver spoon, and continued activity of play and adventure, even after the body is no longer cooperating… just saying.
Playtime, for me, is to dream stuff up and write it out for you guys… whether you read it or throw it away. I play as I write and you have to choose to play along and read… playtime is our choice. If you would like to join in my fun, I play here every single day!
F.Y.I. all my cookies have no calories, because I replaced all the sugar with dreams and adventures, so eat as many as you wish… and let’s play!
Being that I’m a a pretty good tattle tail, mostly about myself, I have decided to start telling on myself regularly… once a week, in fact!
Now don’t expect it to be negative and depressing, because that’s not my thing, nor would it be healthy for any of us to dwell on. It’s me, for crying out loud! I always like to call myself out in a funny way, because it keeps me real, as I like to say. I am also very good at calling out the truths about certain things in society, without pointing judgy fingers at them… just candy coated truths, or cookie covered ones, that most all of us need to hear more often.
We need reminding, occasionally, to be more aware of the connection between the words coming out of our mouths and the steps we walk that either match our words or betray them… Walk your Talk or your Talk is gonna Walk all over you!
I can say most of what I say with confidence, as I am usually the story on the table. I make every effort to be more gentle with my words any time I speak about others… speak the truth in love or don’t do it! In other words, if you want to tell the truth to someone but you’re hurt by them and maybe holding on to that anger… until you have your heart in a place of love… Shut Up! Is that so hard? Some days I am on top of my emotions and can hear God say, Shush child… some days I’m under the rug because of something I said in the wrong state of mind. Words can stick to the fabric of a soul like paper stapled to a wall, painfully anchoring to whomever the stapler was aimed at!
I am not just a writer, but a talker, flinging my words everywhere I go, so I have to make a great effort to reflect God in that which escapes my mouth. In the bible it talks about guarding yourself from those who talk to much… with so much coming out of my mouth, the chances are higher that I will say too much or the wrong thing entirely! That’s why you see me bring up walk the talk stuff all the time. How can I share with you, the things I believe God wants us to learn, if I don’t live and practice it myself?
With all this in mind, as I write to you this morning, the idea of turning Tuesdays into a lighthearted News Report sounds pretty fun to try. The main difference, in my opinion, between what I write and many of the tabloid magazines… I make every effort to ensure the material is truth BEFORE it goes to print!
Here, have a cookie…
That is the question… oh, wait… no it’s not… but it WAS the first thing that came to my mind, as I read the prompt this morning.
For me, both as a writer and a human being, my biggest challenge is being seen… by anyone!
You may have noticed that I call it a challenge and not a problem or an impenetrable obstacle, because the only thing that has to be tackled is timing… the right place to be, needs to be achieved at just the right moment in time! Yes, I used that word twice in the same sentence. I want to make sure you get my meaning here. Time, in all sense of the word, moves, whether it feels slow or fast! I used it once and by the end of the sentence, it was there again! It simply followed me as I wrote out the thought.
Being in the right place at the right time, is the only safe way to jump onto this moving bus without getting run over by it, or simply left behind at the station. There are so so many talented souls everywhere I look… some quite successful while others never catch the bus. Does it mean that one is better than the other or tried harder… sometimes it can play a part in things, but most often it’s no more than timing!
While I admit that Brutus will take a bit more work for me, as I have never written an actual Novel… I wrote Tilly in a day! God’s given me the content, the dreams, the imagination and the tenacity to get it done… my challenge is not in the creation and journey of writing something, it’s in getting it where it’s meant to be… in your hands…
And this is why I said that it is a challenge but not an impenetrable obstacle… I will walk by faith, stepping where my heavenly Father steps… no need for fear of things here… it’s all about His timing!
Eat, sleep and recover… I think that covers what most folks will be doing throughout this first week of 2024.
Personally, I’m attempting to tidy up the Lobby and get back on track with the differing projects calling for my attention. I’ve already changed out all the pictures for each page on my site, so now I am reflecting on the daily themes I used last year, to decide what should remain and what needs changing… it’s hard! Do I change it all up again or does that get on peoples nerves? Sometimes change is good, but at other times we take comfort and reassurance from a steady routine.
One thing that stays, without any thought at all, is the Lobby! This is a resting place for any and all who pass through, so I take my place in the Lobby very seriously. My desire is to keep it always bright, fragrant and free of things just laying around. Fortunately, God is the tender of our fountain, so there is no need to call in a maintenance worker for that. I pretty much just need to fluff the pillows and do my hair, so I can’t complain!
Definitely keeping Note to Self and Live Wire! By writing to you on these two topics, I’m learning so much by all the reading, research and application of what I’m studying. Sometimes, it even feels like I have hundreds of Study Buddies here on WordPress, when you read and comment on things you’ve read while visiting.
This year is shaping up to be a very busy one, what with trying to finish Brutus, as well as getting Tilly published. I have two new stories brewing in my brain, so I have to get busy and get all this stuff out of my head and onto paper… I’m NOT getting the best sleep due to the literary storms raging inside my brain! It can often seem like I have about 6 virtual television shows running at the same time, all vying for my attention. Ahhhhh… the life of a writer it is for me! I thrive on this stuff! Part of me feels bad that you guys get hit twice a day with all my wordage, but not enough to stop… to quote a line from the show Castle, played by Nathan Fillian, “It’s what I do”!
I think that I will use Tuesdays through Fridays will be wild cards because I currently don’t want to do anything beyond my coffee cup… It’s New Years Day for crying out loud…
Let’s all dip a cookie in our morning beverages…
Journey With Me! 