Category: funny

One of those words just doesn’t belong…

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Have you ever asked Google for a list of words that sound like other words? Well, I did!

  • Affect and effect, Lose and loose, Assure/ensure/insure, Lie and lay
  • Their vs. There vs. They’re, Accept and except, Advice and advise
  • Then and than, All together and altogether, Desert vs. Dessert, Flaunt vs flout
  • Further and farther, It’s/its, To and “too”, Breath/breathe, Capitol vs capital
  • Stationary and stationery, Who vs. Whom

Honestly, where did they come up with all these different words, anyway?

Now, I know that being an ant and all, I’m supposed to be super smart. But, just like people, it takes me a good bit of time, patience, and a lot of work to read and write.

If I’m to become a famous journalist one day, it won’t be easy… but so worth it! Meemaw says that nothing worth having is ever easy, and the hard work makes for a strong character. Though I don’t really understand why I need big muscles just to read and write, I’ll take her word for it. I mean, she’s been writing for a good bit. And she CAN sail a big pirate ship, all by her onesies… well, almost all by herself. The point is, I think she’s fairly smart so I’ll take her at her word.

Out of all the research I’ve done this morning, guess what word got me? I’ll let you in on a secret… it’s not any of those words I just listed… no no. Let me show you what the answer was to my question to Google about words that sounded like other words…

Words that can be confused with other words, known as confusables or commonly confused words, include homophones (sound alike, different meaning, e.g., “there,” “their,” “they’re”) and words that are similar in spelling or meaning (e.g., “affect” vs. “effect”). Examples include “to/too/two,” “accept/except,” “principal/principle,” “lose/loose,” and “than/then”

Out of the entire answer from Google’s AI, while I was planning on discovering the difference between all those words I showed you, I found myself knocked off the highway by the word confusables!

Why did they go to all the trouble to invent all those difficult words with long and confusing definitions, if they planned to one day start moshing words together just for the sake of it? Confusables? I’m confused, so I guess the word does it’s literary job of turning words into confusables. Now I’m not even sure if it’s sunny out or just sunshiny. Do I simply tell you I’m hungry, or am I free to suggest that I’m feeling apetizable… I mean, let’s just throw out all the rules, why don’t we.

Maybe asking Google for help isn’t always the best way to learn…

NOOOOOOO… The Horror…

Wiwohka4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?
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I was born in the late 60’s, spent my earliest years on a farm with only a single Black and White television that was encased in wood that came from Atilla the Hun’s battlefields… nothin like stubbing your toe on the corner of a 300 lb block! While I understand that my numbers are, in most probability, grossly over exaggerated, are they really… really?

Anyway, my point is that I’ve lived in both non-computer days and the current computer age, so yes, things looked different.

But is that different a good or bad thing… or is it just the times, or progress, if you will.

I remember taking typing classes in high school, and excelled at typing, matter of fact… I got skills! The thing was though, outside of a class at school, or my part-time job at an insurance agency, I never used a typewriter. In fact, I’d wager that most of the other student’s parents didn’t buy them one for personal use at home. Could you imagine having to bring your own typewriter with you, packed up in your backpack, or better yet, stuffed in your school locker? Nowadays, you can wear it on the right lens of your glasses. That’s only if you’ve the pocket change for one… their ridiculously expensive!

While I fully miss talking to others out loud, instead of texting, and writing letters on paper and sending them in the mail, one cannot deny the convenience and speed of using a computer. One single solitary box (in some instances, no bigger than a stick of gum), you can hold numerous differing translation of the bible, a building worth of encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesaurus’, and past news publications from eons past. You can access a plethora of books on fiction, history, science, religion, and more… from your cell phone/smartphone/pda/tablet/kindle/ and of course, those glasses I mentioned.

It’s undeniable that computers have incredible uses in today’s modern society…

But, we all know that too much of a good thing can spoil it’s goodness, in the end.

Checks and balances, moderation, and wisdom, should rule at the end of the day, wouldn’t you agree? Just make sure you don’t forget the old school days and ways, because you never know when we may need to use it again.

Take a moment to think on this…

If all our power grids went offline, indefinitely, how long might it take before the war over toilet paper returns?

Don’t forget your cookie…

Wednesday Words…

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Eustace watched Game of Thrones, and now he walks around the house dressed like he’s about to go hunting, whispering “winter is coming”, in the most ominous way… and then quickly adds, “so eat your vegetables!”

He seems to think that it’s hilarious, and has chosen to perform this little ball of apparent comical genius for the company’s Fall Festival Talent Contest.

Ok, maybe it is sort of funny, but I’m not so sure it’ll win him any prizes.

Is this one of those times when you tell your friend their fantastic, because you don’t want to hurt their feelings? You know, like they do for all those contestants auditioning for all those talent shows on television? I don’t want to mention the actual shows, since I think that American Idol and America’s Got Talent have legal teams that block people from using their names for things like this.

Anyway, I don’t know what to do, here. Should I let him do it, or should I try to talk him out of it?

He is a cheeky camel, as you know, so perhaps he really doesn’t care what others think. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be a hit! I mean, he did take an unscheduled summer vacation, and they welcomed him back with open arms. For all we know, he might actually win the contest and become an overnight star!

If you want to know the truth of the matter, I think this whole venture has more to do with retaliation, than any trophy or applause! You see, I think Eustace got his feelings hurt when the company turned down his idea for adding a fresh vegetable cart in the break room. They stated that with the Holidays right around the corner, there wasn’t enough **((time))** to add another venue to the company’s upcoming employee events…

Camel’s are stubborn, you know. I don’t think this is over, do you?

It’s never too late…

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Daily writing prompt
What skill would you like to learn?
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Well… nobody put a deadline or age limit, here. What’s a girl to do?

I thought about it and I thought about it, and then I came up with a somewhat usable list of possibilities:

A professional body builder, maybe…

Ewww, NO!

Perhaps, I could become an artsy Glass Blower…

Well, I could, ya know.

Hey, what about becoming a ball room dancer?

I love to dance! Mmmmm, better not! My ankles aren’t as strong as they once were.

You know, maybe I could go back to college and become a veterinarian, or something like that…

Nah! Homework stinks!

Now, it might be a hoot to learn how to build a house…

or even become a Marine Biologist…

But, the problem I’m having with most of these new skills is that they take more time and money than I got.

Besides, maybe I should focus on balancing a grandbaby and baking at the same time…

She’ll be here by Thanksgiving, I think. Now this is a skill I will thoroughly enjoy mastering!

Cookie?

You didn’t think I was going to make you eat the ones that fell on the floor, did you? I wouldn’t dare do a thing like that!

Heffalump or Woozle…

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If someone were to ask if you wished to be either a Heffalump or a Woozle, I bet it would be a good minute before you could confidently answer. Well, maybe it’s just me, beings that I’m quite small and have only just begun reading through the Winnie The Pooh series.

Ok, so maybe I’m somewhat large for an ant, but I was only just born last summer, and it did take me all winter to learn my letters and sounds. If I’m to be any good at writing, I gotta figure a good many things out on my own… that’s what journalists do, you know.

We do a good amount of reading, interviewing, and gathering up the facts, before we put things down on paper… or keyboard.

Please don’t say anything, but I may have gotten in over my head with this Winnie The Pooh business. You see, I sort of made a big deal about being able to read books all by myself, and assured Mee-maw that I didn’t need her help.

Things were going fine, til I got to the part about Heffalumps and Woozles…

Are you kidding me? That’s not fair!

As I’ve been told, time and again, Google is my friend, so I went to said friend. But, now I’m more confused than when I started. I’ll try to explain.

Ok, so according to Google a Heffalump is like an adorably chubby Elephant that can fly, but only when you’re dreaming, I guess. A Woozle is apparently meant to be a Weasel, but cuter, and also flying like the Heffalump… and again, only seen when you dream them.

Time out! Am I the only one whose never seen them before, aside from these Winnie the Pooh stories? How come Google knows about them, and I don’t?

Or, better yet, when did Google ever get the chance to interview the dreamy little stuffed teddy bear, hmmmmm? Answer me that!

Ok, ok, ok… let’s say that I buy this whole Google meets Winnie the Pooh stuff. If I accept that Google got it right, after questioning the teddy bear, I am expected to believe that Elephants can indeed fly, as well as Weasels… but, apparently, only in my dreams. Or does that mean only the teddy bear can see them when he’s dreaming… this is so confusing.

What if I want to see them when I dream? Can I? And, more importantly, do I want to see them? Google says that they represent fear and/or anxiety, well, at least that’s what I think it’s saying. Here, I’ll show you…

What follows are the actual definitions from Google’s AI:

A heffalump represents a childhood fear of the unknown, an imaginary creature stemming from the word “elephant” as mispronounced by a child, often depicted as a large, monstrous, or scary beast. While first described as an unseen, dangerous “heffalump trap” in A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh books, the concept was later expanded in Disney’s adaptations to include the real, friendly, and less frightening Heffalumps and Woozles, ultimately becoming a symbol of overcome fears and prejudices. 

A woozle represents the unknown, a manifestation of unfounded fears or anxieties, as depicted in A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh where the characters chase their own tracks, thinking they are Woozle tracks. This concept extends to the “Woozle effect,” where weak, unverified evidence is repeatedly cited, leading to the mistaken belief in a fact or urban myth, such as in political or public health misinformation. 

Wait a minute… how did we get from fluffy purple elephants and pink Weasels, to the White House?

I will agree that elephants can be easily frightened, and weasels ARE rather high energy and anxious creatures, but to compare them to a politician… that’s taking things a bit too far for my liking.

I did like the part about overcoming fear of a thing, and also about truth over here say, as far as the whole misinformation thing goes.

Me? I’m only an ant, and a young one, at that! Somehow, even if I hadn’t gone to all the trouble of looking things up, I think that the book does a fairly good job of helping me figure things out… and it didn’t need a politician to do it! Just sayin.

I better give you some goodies, like Mee-maw does when she gives her two-cents on a thing…

My family is here for a visit, so I hope you don’t mind sharing… they don’t!

Rise and shine…

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Photo by Maksim Romashkin on Pexels.com
Daily writing prompt
What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?
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Ummm… well? You know, if I were to take a guess, seeings as I’m only just having TODAY’s first cup of tea, I’m going with waking up as my answer to this mornings prompt about tomorrow mornings activities.

Sometimes, WordPress, you ask the silliest questions. By all rights, I shouldn’t, but due to my having such a charitable disposition this morning, I’ll allow you to share in the cookies… but, just this once!

Don’t make a habit of it…

I get up again…

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Daily writing prompt
What’s the trait you value most about yourself?
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While this may not be a Christian song, per say, it sure captures the trait that’s kept me alive, thus far… in a round-a-bout sort of way. God will out, in the end!

Just sayin!

Want a cookie?

Wednesday Words…

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Apparently, Eustace has such a nice voice that he’s been asked to make the morning announcements for them. Well, at least til December, anyways. After last year’s success, the company has permanently installed him as their Christmas Camel!

I did have to have a long conversation with him, regarding how long it took him to get back into shape after his candy cane infusions, remember?

The poor camel was downright hateful, there for a while. We would like for this season to go a bit easier. Eustace assured me that they’ve ordered him an outfit for this year. I guess the insurance company had a fit when they got the bills for all rehab. I don’t blame them, do you?

Perhaps that’s the purpose of offering Eustace some differing jobs, other than the eating kinds. We’re probably fortunate they didn’t ask him to be their stand in fire extinguisher, what with all the water he carries in his humps…

You ARE like those you associate with…

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Brands, that is…

Daily writing prompt
What brands do you associate with?
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Ah, the good ole days…

Once, there was time when a girl could eat whatever she wanted, with reckless abandon. She wasn’t tied down to just any old brand. And she never had to worry over what brands she chose to associate.

There was a time when she loved to celebrate with her closest associate, Mr. Folgers…

Alas, those days are gone.

There were the days of joyful indulgences with her most frequent of associates… you may know them. Folks used to call them the Tillamook Gang, but to me, they were my friends. I think I miss Cheddar the most, as she was most often in the kitchen…

Well, as I mentioned at the beginning of this, you are like those you associate with! Unfortunately, they weren’t the best influence, so I had to give them up.

Now, after learning to let go of that which is a bad influence, I cleaned up my kitchen and now have a new circle of brands to hang out with… the healthier kind!

At first, it wasn’t so easy. Meeting new brands that behaved far differently than my old brands was difficult for a time. Strange names and unusual characteristics made me feel very self-conscious and intimidated, not to mention a bit scared. Change is never easy, but for the sake of healthy associations with brands… it had to be done!

Now that I’ve taken the time to get more familiar with her, Chiquita has become a very loyal brand, faithfully supplying me with a better association with potassium, and the like…

Chiquita was so genuinely helpful and giving, she actually introduced me to the Foster Farm Girls…

You know, associating with them has done wonders for my health, seriously!

There is, however, one brand that has been my friend since my earliest days. My mother actually introduced me to them, first. I was only about five years old, when my mother bought me an Easy-Bake Oven. I’d never made cookies before. I’d only ever seen my mother do it, but she was now handing over the spatula, so to speak!

I was placed upon a stool that had been stacked with several Yellow Page telephone books. Before me sat my brand new oven, all the little trays, sprays, spoons, and such. But the world turned on it’s axis, when my mother handed me a large bowl filled with cookie dough! It wasn’t just any cookie do, however, but the original recipe from Nestle Toll House Morsels package… that was all it took!

From that little oven, came some of the best cookies I’ve ever tasted! Now, perhaps it was the sugar rush that kicked in, or even the bit of caffeine from the chocolate chips, hitting the bloodstream. The point is, I was hooked… not just on cookies, but on the Toll House brand!

I’ve had occasion to use other brands, but I always come back to Toll House! Whenever I see their packages, I’m immediately transported back to my childhood days… the good ones, though they be few. Thank you, Toll House!

I bet you guys are glad I kept this brand. I wouldn’t serve you anything less than wonderful… hugs

Bridges (2024)…

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Made of Iron, made of wood

Some have fallen, while others withstood

Some can be burned, or break free from their moorings

While others hold strong, given plenty of shoring

Bridges offer travel, from one side to the other

providing a way, helping one reach his brother

These connections need work, in putting them together

They provide safe passage, even if there’s foul weather

If a bridge is destroyed in the depth of a storm

The gap that it leaves, is where heartache is born

We must tend our bridges, making sure they stay standing

holding firm to the ground, over waves life keeps handing

If your bridge falls apart, breaking away from the dirt

Get down on your knees, and confess all your hurt

Even if your bridge broke free in the storm

God can build a new bridge, fully shaped in His form…