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Some time ago, I wrote of a funny situation between two of my daughters when they were small, that relates to the prompt question. I won’t bother retelling the whole story, but if you remember, my girls were fighting and one finally hit the other, and long story short… as they both headed my way tell the tale, the one was saying sorry, and the other kept saying, “It’s not sorry time now”.
The memory came to life, and though it only involved children, and a silly scuffle between two tiny people… it gave light to an age old habit. Saying sorry has become a habit, a protocol… just something your supposed to do when covering over errors, and yes, that is exactly what I said! Sorry has become nothing more than a cover up! In my opinion, the use of the word sorry has now been relegated to the politically correct list.
You don’t have to mean it, you just need to say it so all will be forgiven, right? It seems as if behavior no longer has to change or improve, nope! I am sure everyone, at some point in their life, has heard another person say, “I said I was sorry, what more do you want?” Now, I am not saying that no one does things the right way, it just seems that many don’t. The problem with this behavior isn’t that many people say they are sorry, and then turn back around and do the same thing again, and again. The result of this unfortunate attitude, sadly, is the unhealthy example left for our tiny ones… the ones who are watching and learning by our example.
I am not saying that I do not want to see someone use the word sorry, when appropriate… I would just prefer it if the offender actually meant it… and actually makes an effort to not repeat the offense.
Let’s turn this frown (sorry) upside down… when our babies are tiny, we need to say we are sorry when we make a mistake, and teach the future about forgiveness, and mercy. When I screwed up with my kids, and I did, I sought their forgiveness with an apology that did not include an excuse, just simply that I messed up because I was not perfect, and I would be doing different in the future.
I think the most endearing part of that story about my daughters fight, was the way the girls handled things themselves. But she slapped her sister, you may be saying. Yes, but several things happened in that fight. The first thing was that my oldest did not drop kick her little sister down the stairs in anger, but instead, she headed for grown ups. If you knew my girls, you would know that this was a big feat for my eldest. The second thing that came out of the event, was a very heartfelt apology from my middle daughter. Big tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over onto her cheeks as she reached out and took her sisters hand. When she said sorry to her sister, the reaction was immediate… all anger disappeared, the slap forgotten, and the two hugged and ran off to continue their game.
Our kids emulate our behavior until they are old enough to strike out on their own, so let’s do it right people… if you mess up, I get it! We all make mistakes, but come on… if you say you are sorry… ACT like it!
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Here, have a cookie…
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You will need the milk for these, and don’t worry, it is magic milk… no lactose…
Journey With Me! 