For me, both as a writer and a human being, my biggest challenge is being seen… by anyone!
You may have noticed that I call it a challenge and not a problem or an impenetrable obstacle, because the only thing that has to be tackled is timing… the right place to be, needs to be achieved at just the right moment in time! Yes, I used that word twice in the same sentence. I want to make sure you get my meaning here. Time, in all sense of the word, moves, whether it feels slow or fast! I used it once and by the end of the sentence, it was there again! It simply followed me as I wrote out the thought.
Being in the right place at the right time, is the only safe way to jump onto this moving bus without getting run over by it, or simply left behind at the station. There are so so many talented souls everywhere I look… some quite successful while others never catch the bus. Does it mean that one is better than the other or tried harder… sometimes it can play a part in things, but most often it’s no more than timing!
While I admit that Brutus will take a bit more work for me, as I have never written an actual Novel… I wrote Tilly in a day! God’s given me the content, the dreams, the imagination and the tenacity to get it done… my challenge is not in the creation and journey of writing something, it’s in getting it where it’s meant to be… in your hands…
And this is why I said that it is a challenge but not an impenetrable obstacle… I will walk by faith, stepping where my heavenly Father steps… no need for fear of things here… it’s all about His timing!
Eat, sleep and recover… I think that covers what most folks will be doing throughout this first week of 2024.
Personally, I’m attempting to tidy up the Lobby and get back on track with the differing projects calling for my attention. I’ve already changed out all the pictures for each page on my site, so now I am reflecting on the daily themes I used last year, to decide what should remain and what needs changing… it’s hard! Do I change it all up again or does that get on peoples nerves? Sometimes change is good, but at other times we take comfort and reassurance from a steady routine.
One thing that stays, without any thought at all, is the Lobby! This is a resting place for any and all who pass through, so I take my place in the Lobby very seriously. My desire is to keep it always bright, fragrant and free of things just laying around. Fortunately, God is the tender of our fountain, so there is no need to call in a maintenance worker for that. I pretty much just need to fluff the pillows and do my hair, so I can’t complain!
Definitely keeping Note to Self and Live Wire! By writing to you on these two topics, I’m learning so much by all the reading, research and application of what I’m studying. Sometimes, it even feels like I have hundreds of Study Buddies here on WordPress, when you read and comment on things you’ve read while visiting.
This year is shaping up to be a very busy one, what with trying to finish Brutus, as well as getting Tilly published. I have two new stories brewing in my brain, so I have to get busy and get all this stuff out of my head and onto paper… I’m NOT getting the best sleep due to the literary storms raging inside my brain! It can often seem like I have about 6 virtual television shows running at the same time, all vying for my attention. Ahhhhh… the life of a writer it is for me! I thrive on this stuff! Part of me feels bad that you guys get hit twice a day with all my wordage, but not enough to stop… to quote a line from the show Castle, played by Nathan Fillian, “It’s what I do”!
I think that I will use Tuesdays through Fridays will be wild cards because I currently don’t want to do anything beyond my coffee cup… It’s New Years Day for crying out loud…
I saw the question this morning and immediately saw a problem… the time line!
According to the definition, which I have included below, this feeling of Nostalgia must come from the past.
a sentimentallonging or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.
I have several problems answering the question in its current form, one being the concrete time of the PAST, the other problem comes from finding a memory that is pure happiness without any sorrow following in its wake! With any problem, or let’s say obstacle, my hat goes backwards and my eyebrows furrow forward with determination, challenging this literary Goliath with my tiny typing fingers.
I’ve written scads of things that reveal how my past is fully saturated with beauty and pain all rolled into one! Enough said!
I believe that it IS possible to be nostalgic for what is to come, based on both the past and present journey. I am looking forward to being home, more than any dream or memory I have in my noggin!
Don’t think that I expect you to just agree with me, without any examples or evidence given, so I shall present my Prompt Rule Breaking Case as best I can…
I am a Christian… a born again Believer and a chosen child of God, therefore, it stands to reason that I will live, eat, breathe, and speak the Word of God. To do this fully, I believe fully in the entire Bible… all of it! I accept the truth of that book as the living breathing words of God! This book is my evidence of what is to come… the good and the bad! I believe that we were never promised an easy walk, as this is a broken and fallen world, so buckle up Buttercup! The bible also tells, in countless entries of what is to come, for all of us. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m well aware of how bad it looks back in my history, and I can’t wait until I see His face at the end of this life!
I will share with you my version of Nostalgia, coming from the future! How can I do this, you ask? Well, if the words of the bible are Holy Writ, then it stands to reason that this future is guaranteed to be there for me when I arrive!
Since I have no human understanding of what God will actually look like when I arrive, I sort of have this vision in my head of what it might look like to Him as I enter the gates. The vision may sound comical, but I do think that God has a great sense of humor. Imagine God all squared up, like a baseball pitcher, at the gates with a mitt in one hand, leaving the other hand poised to assist. As you look out into the clouds beyond the gates, you begin to hear the thunder, followed by bolts of lightening shooting across the sky. Next, you see commotion in the clouds, followed by a massive tidal wave that literally thrusts me up over the edge and sends me like a high powered missile toward my Creators’ waiting arms.
As I often say, to anyone stopping long enough to listen, Go Big or Go Home… or better yet, Go Big AND Go Home!!!
In your face prompt box, Ha!
Here, some of you may need a handful of cookies on this one…
Out with the old and in with the new is how most are feeling right about now!
The range of people’s emotions, as they think on this feeling, can reach both ends of the scale.
For some, it’s benign in terms of the big picture… bills got paid, pensions are safe, nothing bad happened and life is good. For others, there may have been challenges through this last year ranging anywhere from financial challenges, to any number of health issues. Some have lost loved ones or experienced the end of a marriage, while at the same time, there were babies being born and/or weddings to attend. I think maybe this is why emotions run sort of high for many during the week between Christmas and the New Year.
I bet most new moms don’t want to let go of last years joys quite so easily, nor are they looking forward to moving on into a different stage of that infants life.
First smiles, first night without a 2 a.m. feeding, first steps and first words are irreplaceable memories and yet… the joy and excitement of what is next to come makes this time bittersweet. I gather this evidence both from my own memories, as well as the photo album industry… whether in print or digital. I don’t ever want to forget those years!
On the other side of things, I’m sure that there are those who are really hoping that the goodness and success of 2024 will wash over and erase the memory of last year… and with that comes a great amount of anxiety.
Will next year be better or worse? Will the grief of loss over life or love ever lessen? Some have burned the candle at both ends and have now come to the middle and are terrified of what will come next for them. Why is it that we don’t feel the pressure during all the other months of the year? More specifically, why is it this very week that makes many feel so overwhelmed? It’s not like there is a waiver that we all have to sign, come New Years Day, stating that we shall look back no more on the things in the past. Perhaps we think our Talent or Success Card has to be reviewed by a High Council. For all I know, that might be the solution everyone would enjoy!
What if there were a Do Over Card available? I wonder how many of us would trade our last 12 months for another try at things, if there were a magic subway turnstiles available New Years Day.
What would that Returns Line look like at the store? How many would want a full Do Over vs. an Exchange or would there also be a line in the Repairs Department? I wrote about this sort of thing just the other day, sharing how changes or do overs may take away from the good that I want to hold onto, for my journey home. I suppose that’s where the anxiety comes from, for myself at least.
I look back over the last 12 months of my journey, and while I want so bad to stand in the Do Over Return Line in some regards, I have too many good things to focus on. I am also quite exhausted with standing in the Repair Line… I have things to do, dreams to chase and a purpose! What is that purpose? Here’s the funny thing… I can’t even say what it is, this purpose, because I’m right in the middle of it! God has me firmly held in His purpose and I think it is big enough that I cannot see the defining edges. The only thing I wish to do, is to continue walking forward beneath His shadow into the New Year! This is the first holiday season in many many years that I feel excited, expectant and hopeful for what is to come.
While I am not fully ready to continue our journey into the wilderness with you, here on Live Wire Sundays, the idea of what it must have felt like for the Israelites came to mind. As they left behind everything they knew, good and bad, and began the journey to the promised land, there had to be many emotions floating through the air for Gods people.
For many of them, I think they felt a panic similar to that of a toddler being placed in the arms of a stranger, which could end badly, as I discovered while attempting to get my 9 month old to take a photo with a giant Easter Bunny… not cool!
There was a long journey ahead of the Israelites, and they were nowhere near ready, but God knew exactly what would be needed to prepare them. Some days I feel ready to get it done, while most days make me feel like an ill prepared Israelite! Did I ever mention that I counted back to how old I was when God first began knocking on the door of my heart… it was 40 years from when I started writing on this blog back in March of this last year. What an unusual similarity, don’t you think?
I was a chosen child of God… I just didn’t know it yet, nor was I prepared to handle that knowledge. I knew of God but was not impressed! The bible said how things were supposed to work, but I was young, traumatized, and very angry… hmmmmm… sound like anyone else we know? I think it’s a safe bet to say that the Israelites were feeling about the same in terms of their walk with God and what they’d gone through for generations. I’ll leave it at that, since I’m not ready for us to head out into the desert until next Sunday… no spoilers!
Please forgive my rambling and bouncing all over the place this morning, but as it is New Years Eve morning, I am a maelstrom of emotions… Peaceful waters flow all around and over me, calming the storms that push me down and strengthening me for the rapids ahead. Sometimes it is easy to live only in the moment, while at other times it can bring fears to my door, about what is to follow. As I write this to you, my spirit is at peace but my emotions are still a bit challenging. Repeated trauma has done its work on my system, making it very difficult to shut off the release of certain chemicals to the brain that lure me towards fight or flight. My spirit and mind know that I am now safe in Gods arms, but my body still seems to be a Survival Adrenaline Junkie… an odd combination surviving in one single human vessel, but there it is.
While my desire is not to overshare, I disclose many things to you when I write because, let’s face it, I know that I’m not alone in my feelings and struggles. The enemy wants me to feel like I am all alone, with nobody to understand or share what I feel… he is a liar and a thief! We are NEVER alone and I will take that all the way to the gates, my friends!
My hope and prayer this morning is that you step confidently into the New Year, hope burning within you for each of your journeys ahead. My other hope and prayer is that we all choose the path that He has provided us, whatever it may be and wherever it may lead us… this world is not our home, it’s simply the journey that gets us there…
For anyone that might need the encouragement, just remember that with a new year comes a chance for doing good, finding more joy to share with those around you, and new hope for what’s ahead for us. Our successes and failures made us who we are today, and according to God, he uses us all right where we are, in whatever circumstance. I might not be famous or rich, nor am I surrounded by adoring fans that want to hang on my every word. Truth be told, I’m just me… a nobody… but if you listen to this song I’ve shared, you will see who God chooses to use for His purpose and Glory.
Be safe everyone and I’ll see you on the flip side…
Who am I to choose? How many of us would go back and undo becoming parents if we knew how much pain would be mixed in with the good?
Would I go back and undo my life with my favorite pets if I knew how hard it would be to take care of them for so many years, and then to feel the pain of loss when they pass?
While I understand the question says “have” in this prompt, I like to think outside most boxes. How does one explain impact from a current thing… doesn’t it require some looking back on a thing to see whether it leaves evidence of positive or negative? How can one know for certainty, in the here and now of a relationship, whether it is a good thing for us, or a bad one?
When we gather information, usually we do it in a survey of sorts… good points over bad ones. I choose to not let this prompt question become an unhealthy survey of life and love!
I have three adult daughters that barely look my way, six grandchildren I am not able to be close with, a family that rejected and abandoned me, a church family that kicked me out after my divorce, all but two souls that were friends turned away, we lost our home along with all that was within its walls… and on and on and on and on… see where I’m going with this?
Let’s look a little closer at what I shared… it’s ok… this is not a pity party, in fact, it’s a walk of Praise!
The children and grandchildren were and are a miracle and a gift, so I’m not about to return them to the manufacturer… no way to separate all the good from the bad, the beauty from the ugly, nor the joy from the pain. The fibers that bind us are too tightly woven for that, as my blood runs through their veins and they share my DNA!
I remember every single pet I have ever owned, and I would not ever trade the memories, good or bad… they made my world a better place, and their memories do that for me to this very day!
The lessons I learned from the kindness and cruelty of church and friendship have made me the woman I am today… and I love who God has grown me up to become. I will take every one of my experiences, and scars as well, to guide me along the paths of this world. God uses my good, my bad, and my ugly, to guide me on as a wiser and kinder soul than when I began…
“Keep your face always toward the sunshine– and shadows will fall behind you.”Walt Whitman
Note to Self #19 is pretty self explanatory don’t you think?
I may need to give some more perspective though, before folks think I’m going to go and fry my eyes staring at the sun.
When I read this quote, it gave me pause, as I considered the way it was phrased. Mr. Whitman didn’t say to keep your eyes toward the sun, but rather, keep your face toward it!
If we consider the sun for a moment, it is a thing of great power for our world… as long as it stays up there and we stay down here on the ground. We can look around to see the results of the suns capabilities, but if we look directly at this giant round ball of fire, we would quickly destroy our eyes. It sure feels sublime though, to close our eyes and let the warmth of the sun kiss our faces!
As long as we can feel it’s reassuring presence, we don’t have to look right at the sun to know it’s there doing what it does for our planet… nourishing the earth and causing things to grow.
While this quote simply says that if you are facing the sun, your shadow will fall behind you… there’s so much more meaning behind that phrase! Otherwise, I don’t think we would have written it down and made sure it wasn’t ever forgotten.
Personally, this phrase takes my mind and heart straight to my relationship with God. If we looked directly at our creator it would kill us instantly… too powerful for our human minds to handle!
Yet He will walk with us, lead us, carry us and sustain us all the same… no need to look directly at Him to know that He is there. I look around at the results of what He does for me, and that is very reassuring.
When I am having one of those days that seem to suck the life out of me, I like to pull out this particular Note to Self. It gives me pause to check my spirits direction and posture… am I facing the Son or am I trying to look at my silly shadow?
If I am within God’s purpose, dwelling there… I’ve no need to look behind for my shadow, as I am covered by His! By always facing forward and following the Son, I know how to find home…
I don’t know about you, but I have those days where I feel like just floating through much of the boulders that life leaves dangling above me, just waiting to splash down either on or near my tiny raft floating along on my journey down its’ river.
I seek the solace of drifting… coasting past things that I’ve nearly avoided running into along my path. If any water splashes in, well, I have a cup that I can use to just scoop it back up and throw it out the side of my floaty chair.
I plan to ride this raft all the way through to the new year, calmly and quietly, gaining strength and energy for the rapids that the new year will most certainly bring along my way. No worries… I am using this time to refresh my first-aid kit, resupply my energy bars and add to my repair kits, for any unsightly leaks occurring up ahead in 2024.
I was born for this wild ride of life… I mean come on, my name is WIWOHKA! Water has been in my blood from birth! With a voice like a raging river, my character must be made of a very tear or puncture resistant material that can hold up to all the slamming against the worlds rocky edges! Again, I remind you that I am GOD tough… and not by my own strength, but His!
With all this tough talk splashing around, this girl does get tired, sore, and in need of some respite here and there. Today is the HERE part, and you may see me do it again down the road a bit in the THERE of 2024. I think everyone should treat themselves to a Free Floating Friday every now and again. Who knows, maybe we will bump ores somewhere along the journey…
When I told him about the idea, he was green with envy over the mascot position, so I hired him for the job!
Once he turned green it was perfect for the color choices because of the holidays and all…
Adding the red and purple as our team colors seemed perfectly natural.
Brutus found a friend and asked if I would make her a shirt too… Meet Dinky! She follows Brutus all over the rugby field and copies everything he does. I think she’s adorable don’t you?
She is still too small to be out on the field without getting trampled by accident, so Brutus will do all that part.
Brutus wanted the number 8 for his Jersey, to match the number of horns on his forehead. If you count more or less than that, please don’t say anything to him, because he is so excited!
At his request, we named our rugby team the Dangerous Dragons… it may not seem like a great name, but the other two choices Brutus came up with were not very appealing. The first was Dragon Ballers and the second was Dirty Dragons and neither seemed appropriate, so Dangerous Dragons it is…
I have an idea that managed to get dropped into my think tank sometime in the last few weeks. I can’t really tell you what the idea is, first of all, because it is still swirling around in there looking for a place to settle into… and secondly, because some ideas are better once they have been birthed into a real thing. If I shared what I am thinking before it has time to define itself, it usually comes out sort of ridiculous and get’s lost in the telling … no no no says I!
Sometimes, it is better to be an Idea Savings Account, than an Idea Mr. Microphone, if you get my drift!
These last few weeks have felt somewhat like a furnace, as far as survival goes, but I’m made of tough fibers… have been since birth! I’m almost beginning to think that I write better under pressure or heavy flames. I’m actually getting to the point that I seldom flinch from the sparks that can sometimes singe my soul… and I honestly don’t seek to know why anymore.
In the bible, Hebrews 11:1-3 says,
“Now faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”
With this truth in mind, I am getting better at walking just one day at a time… there is a sweet peace in this type of surrender that is beyond words.
I cannot describe this place of the heart, as it is a very personal and intimate place within my spirit that only God dwells. Everyone has this place so don’t feel left out! I want to share one of my favorite verses with you, as it confirms my belief in this place within each of us…
9 However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”[a]— the things God has prepared for those who love him— 10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.
1 Corinthians 2:9-13
I know I could have just shared the little bit in the middle, but I love this verse and wanted you to read it in its whole form… besides, this is my blog and this IS Thoughtful Thursday! Who else’s thoughts would you expect to find in here, right?!
Journey With Me! 