The down side to being so smart is that one cannot pretend ignorance about a great many things, one of which is the law.
I have in fact broken the law… many times, in fact, but I’m not about to divulge them to you. Well, maybe just a bit.
When you are a runaway child and your hungry that’s one thing, but when you are tucked into a foster home that feeds you and houses you… now it has become another thing all together.
One time, when I was about 14 years old, myself and my roomie decided to do a runner… but not a normal runner, just to her parents house. She’d been getting into trouble in school, so her parents did a kind of tough love tactic by putting her temporarily into foster care. She was a bit of a bad girl, now that I think about it, but I digress. Anyway, her parents had gone out of town, so their house was empty for super bowl weekend. We took it upon ourselves to hook up with two boys from school and break into her parents house to eat drink and be merry, so to speak.
What we didn’t know, was that her parents had put the house under watch, due to her unreliable teenage behavior. Someone saw us break in, immediately calling the police to report our teenage invasion. I think her parents must have been so ready for her shenanigans, they had given all authority to the police to basically scare the teenager right out of us.
One minute we were lounging on the couch, NOT watching the football game, and the next minute, the front door literally flew off its hinges as the coppers broke the door open and shouted their arrival all at the same time! Dirty cards, in my opinion… I was of the understanding that they are to announce first, and then enter! Not in this case, they didn’t! The next thing I knew, I was face down on the lawn, someone’s knee in my back, and cuffs were being roughly put on my 14 year old wrists.
I was then hauled to the pokey, where they tried to scare me straight by leaving me in a urine and feces marked holding cell for some hours.
F.Y.I. when you are trying to scare a teenager who has been assaulted and mistreated on a vile level… your peepee room only pisses her off! Just sayin…
To be honest, we all have a conscience that enables us to question the legality of a thing… I was 14 and I knew wrong from right, in fact, I understood it at a far younger level than most.
The idea of unintentionally breaking a law is sort of an impossibility for most individuals, if you think about it, because the law has been placed in order for you to know NOT to do it. I’m just glad the question didn’t ask if you’ve ever unintentionally disregarded a warning label… it’s a real eye opener to realize that some folks need to be warned NOT to drink the acid out of a car battery!
Ever have one of those days? You know, the ones where things just don’t look like they normally do. All it takes is for one small aspect of our daily routines to change or break from our norm, to make everything around us seem radically different.
When it is a good change, things around us can seem brighter and more full of life… our perspective is open and positive, allowing us to see more of the good in others and the world around us.
When the change in our routine is brought about by anything negative, we are often left feeling very isolated and the world seems empty of things like love, life and happiness.
We humans are such emotional creatures… so sensitive to even the most subtle of changes, whether it be caused by external circumstances or any internal ones. In the blink of an eye, our perspective can do a full 180… taking us from love and light, all the way to loneliness and an isolating darkness in a mere heartbeat…
One might think that being a Christian exempts us from feeling isolated, lonely, or depressed. On the contrary, I think that believers face a much harder road… you know the one I’m talking about… the narrow one…
As I have been under the weather this week, I have had a great deal of time to ponder these things. Whenever I’m sick enough to stay in bed, I absolutely hate it! I have rolling panic attacks that seek to drive me out of rest and back to full function. I am filled with guilt over letting others down, fears pop up over being forgotten if I’m unable to perform above and beyond… never let em see you sweat… show no weakness… soldier on…
I think this old behavior comes from a survival mode that I have carried since childhood. If you show any sign of weakness out on the streets, the vultures start circling, waiting for their opportunity to consume your remains. I fully understand the meaning of the adage old habits die hard.
As I was reading in the book of Romans this morning, Paul was speaking about this very nature… two natures to be exact, the old sinful nature of a person and the new nature born of Christ who now dwells in a believer. The more time I spend dwelling in the word, the clearer I am able to see things in myself, of my old nature, that need to be changed.
I think that recognizing where my perspective is being skewed, due to the way of things, is half my battle to spiritually managing my earthly emotions… or tending my own scars, if you will.
I suppose that one could probably label me with a handful of very real and difficult disorders, in fact, I could fairly accurately self diagnose myself with what I call Undiagnosed, Untreated, Chronic Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder… that I’ve been walking around with for over 50 years. I have a lot to work on in the old nature department, if you know what I mean.
Maybe that’s a part of why I write so much… for me, this is my therapy, my anti-depressant anti-anxiety anti-panic attack treatment. And NO, I am not about to pay you for all your hard work of reading my self therapy sessions. Just because you get credit for being my frequent pick me ups, doesn’t mean that I will be giving out royalties for your services…
What I will offer you is this…
Continued hugs
Continued cookies
and continued stories that might speak to your heart, or bless your lives in some way.
What I’m trying to say is that, for my therapy, you guys are some of the best form of medicine God often prescribes for my emotional health. The best part is that my prescription is free, with beautiful side effects… and I get unlimited refills.
It would make more sense if the prompt asked me what I would title an auto biography… how on earth would I know what somebody else might write about me, therefore knowing what they might be inclined to use as an appropriate title?
Daily writing prompt
If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?
Not to be disrespectful towards someone writing about my life other than myself, but currently, there isn’t anyone close enough to know what might be written. I have no more than three people that I consider even remotely familiar enough to write about my life, none of which are writers.
I did, in fact, write my own story down for others to read, but I’m still not sure why. Nobody that I thought would read it, ever took the time or made the effort to read it! My own biological sister rejected my words before she ever got past the introduction… not joking!
If my own sister, as well as my children seem averse to giving me any grace, at all… well, perhaps the writing was more for me than it was for anyone else.
I imagine that if anyone wrote of me, it might only be things under the title of
She Wore a Scarlet Letter, or Sins of Her Past, or maybe The Unlovable
Thank goodness that I don’t buy into others opinions of me any longer, but rather, I look upon the book of another, in whose pages I seem to keep finding entry after entry about my very life. As it happens, the book has already been written and has been in circulation for many many years. Due to the reputation this book holds, and as I know the author pretty well, I wouldn’t dream of suggesting we change the title that graces its’ cover.
By now you have most likely guessed the name of this publication, but just to ensure you and I are on the same page here, the title of the book is called The Holy Bible. When I asked the author if I could share the title of His work, He was happy that I should do so… suggesting that anyone wishing to find their life written into this book, might feel free to use this title for their prompt answer, as well.
I tried to come up with some sort of a romantic poem for today, but it just sounded more like what a teenager would come up with, while dreaming of her biggest crush from school. Gross!
Let’s try this again…
Don’t get me wrong, I think Valentine is a lovely holiday for young lovers, and all the kids at grammar school who trade bright cards and candies marked with “Kiss Me”. Beyond that, it has just become the candy markets BOOM Time!
I do recall years ago, when my husband and I first married, how all of our first holidays together were such a big deal. Our first Valentines Day together, he filled our bedroom full of crushed rose petals and gifted me an enormous box of my favorite caramels. I still remember how fragrant the air was, just as I entered the room… it was sublime!
While it was amazing and unforgettable, it had set the bar for the future, of what could outdo the first WOW experience of a lovers day surprise! Where does the poor guy go from here?
By the following year we were driving long haul in a Tractor Trailer, being limited to shopping in places that could park an 18 wheeler.
The look of the overpriced and wilted flowers offered in the gas station, as well as the inflated cost of the crushed boxes of chocolates sitting on the shelf near the showers, stifled any acts of romance.
We spent nearly 7 years of our marriage, traveling and surviving this way, forcing things of love and romance into the storage bins.
Love finds a way…
Somewhere in all that mess of life, my husband always found a way to remind me of his love… sometimes just buying me simple thing, or taking me out for a surprise dinner, occasionally even renting us a hotel room with room service. He may have stopped buying me fancy cards, but for years he has left random post it notes around the house voicing his love for this woman. I find them in spots like the medicine cabinet, the refrigerator, or my sock drawer.
This morning I decided to give my husband a card… not just any card… no no, that would be boring. There has been this Valentines Day card in my bags for some years now, and neither of us can remember where it came from, or who purchased it for whom. It has remained in its original cellophane wrapper, with no writings in it, whatsoever! We both laughed hysterically, when I handed it to him, because it has been kind of a running joke between us… since neither knows who bought the card. When he jokingly demanded that I should at least write something in it, I pretended to be offended, as I explained to him that I was saving it for him to use next year. I gently placed the silly card back into its wrapper and once again, stored it away for safe keeping until next year. The words in the card still hold true, so why not use it again?
My husband tries to give me gifts, tenderness, and words of love throughout the year, so by the time we get back around to February 14th, I’m not craving chocolate, nor am I expecting a gift or special dinner venue… not that those are bad things at all… I’m just full up! Valentines Day now represents sort of an annual confirmation of the love we share with each other throughout the year.
Don’t worry… I am sure that I will make myself sick off the chocolate that goes on sale tomorrow or anytime after…
I imagine it to be this way for many couples who have been together for many seasons, weathering many storms, building lives together, raising children … we learned to celebrate in the moments afforded to us, cultivating the garden of love we share.
Valentines Day is a wonderful holiday that fosters love and romance…
May we remember to carry the sweetness of the chocolate, the heavenly aroma of those flowers, and the deep attentiveness that comes with preparing our lovers gifts, throughout the coming year…
Unfortunately, I have been battling a headache since yesterday, and my fibromayalgia has been hammering me all night. As much as I want to write today, I’m just not able to focus.
I apologize, but this girl has to bow out today, guys.
I feel like I have entered into a Dr. Seuss style inquiry… I mean, come on! Firstly, one has to consider how much power needed to even effectively attempt a change. Am I the only one to fully realize that if you were not born into the life of groomed and planned political life, there isn’t much power available left for changing anything, aside from a bad lightbulb.
Secondly, haven’t we already learned about cause and effect, enough to understand what has to go into choosing, changing, and putting into effect, any one singular law? If we haven’t even been able to brave the idea of going back and changing our own past, for fear of how it might effect the present or even the future… why do we think it would be any easier to choose a law to overturn and rewrite for the masses?
Thirdly, asking any one person why they would choose one thing over another, is so open to any manner of reasonings as to their motives for change. It comes down to the individuals perspective, sometimes healthy and sound, while at other times very judgmental and destructive. If the saying goes that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then it stands to reason that so to is ugliness and self preservation. This why stuff can be a good thing when seeking understanding of something, to a point, but then can become somewhat of a slippery slope.
I am a child of God, following one set of laws… HIS! There is no need for change here, and as the bible instructs, we are to honor our Government, out of reverence for God… not man. Because of this, I find myself unable to answer the prompt with any one specific law to change. Even Thomas Jefferson was adamant about not mixing matters of Church and State. See, I don’t ONLY read the Bible!
Squagon insisted that we start handing out the chocolate hearts… right now!
Last week, when he asked me about the meaning of Valentines Day, I made the mistake of telling him that humans use this day to show each other love by sharing chocolate hearts and love notes. He spent all weekend madly making crayon kiss marks all over the bag of peanuts used for the squirrels at our local park. He begged me to find some chocolate hearts to hand out, but I then had to explain to him about how chocolate was not good for the wildlife. He seemed fine with this… I thought!
I woke up this morning to find Squagon in a panic! There had been a bag of animal friendly chocolate hearts I’d hidden beneath a bale of hay, to share with my barnyard babies on the big day… and my small friend had somehow discovered it.
Apparently, in his rush to open the bag he’d found, the bag tore in half, sending chocolate hearts flying all over the barnyard. The babies went nuts, devouring many of the hearts before they ever hit the ground. By the time I walked out of the barn, there were babies sprawled out in every direction, snoring contentedly, with full bellies and chocolate smudges all over their adorable faces.
In the middle of the mess stood Squagon, looking as if he had committed some heinous crime. Head bowed low, shoulders slumped in shame, my little romantic stood holding a lone chocolate heart, still neatly wrapped up tight in its packaging. When I bent down in front of him, Squagon offered me the tiny red gift… and promptly burst into tears!
My tiny Casanova told the story of how he’d found the candy and simply tried to open the bag, to retrieve one of the tiny hearts inside for this mornings post. He pulled out what looked like an attempt at a love note, though it now was so covered in chocolate smudge marks that I could not read the name of the recipient. Things had gone horribly wrong, somehow, and now the barnyard was a mess, the chocolate was pretty much all gone, and he knew it had been all his fault!
I scooped the little guy up in my lap, gave him a comforting nose boop, and handed him a tissue for his tears. I told him about a similar time, in my own distant past, when I tried opening a family size bag of Peanut M&M’s for my kids and the bag split, sending candy across the entire kitchen. It happens!
As it also happens, I had purposely put the bag of candy that Squagon found, underneath that bale of hay. I thought it might be fun to see how long it would take the babies to find the goodies, but now I felt bad, as I’d no idea this would happen. Now I felt badly!
Squagon begged me to give the last chocolate heart to you guys, as he felt that it was the only right thing to do, in this situation. Tearfully, he offered me the candy, looking so downtrodden as he turned to climb down off my lap.
Hang on, I said, it so happens that I have hidden three bags of sweeties in the barnyard. You just didn’t find the others yet, so let us tidy up the mess in the yard, as the babes are snoozing… it won’t take much. Then I’ll show you where the other bags are hidden, so that you can take everyone on a hunt for them later… those candies can be handed out for gifts.
It didn’t actually take that long to clean up the wrappers, and no barnyard babies were harmed in the eating frenzy that occurred here… Dinky and I will both swear to this!
Though I feel that you have already been shown ideas of my dream home, I did try to come up with some clearer visions for you to enjoy.
While I enjoy the look of a shingled roof, I decided that I much prefer thatch, or even moss. I think it blends into the forest a bit more naturally.
As much as I liked the little creature sitting near the porch, it seemed too lonely for my liking, so back to the drawing board I went.
After all my efforts to add more creatures into this dream home, I was now faced with having a house too small to fit everyone, because… duh… they would obviously be staying with me inside, as I’m not barbarian that would make them sleep out in the cold.
After all that effort to come up with a great answer to the daily prompt, I have simply gone back to my favorite place…
If a thing’s not broken, why try to fix it? You’ll find me in the barn…
I don’t even have to make you cookies today, as the babies have made you popcorn!
Journey With Me! 