Of all the species of feathered flyers out there, the one bird that describes me would be the Woodpecker! Why? Well, I read off of the Wikipedia site that these birds have very strong jaw muscles.
Anyone who knows much about me, should already be aware that I talk a whole lot! I mean A LOT! I always have… and I highly doubt that I will be slowing down any time soon. Over the years I have been chided about it, counseled to slow it down, and/or even avoided because of it. For a time, I attempted to back away from my own chatty nature, in hopes of pleasing others. I soon learned that it was more my personality than my chattiness that pushed others away. When I discovered that I like myself just as I am, I stopped trying to be that which I was not, for others sake!
I like being a Woodpecker, incessantly hammering out the love of Christ, over and over and over again! For anyone who is bothered by my noise, there are plenty of other trees in the forest! God made me this way, so I’ve no intention of changing something if it’s not broken! Just sayin…
We’ve all been there… waking up, early in the morning, to the familiar sound of the Garbage truck pulling up outside, as realization dawns that we’ve forgotten to take the trash out!
Fortunately, I was successful in getting my trash taken out to the curb last night before bed. But I sat here listening to the familiar bang and clang of the trucks mechanisms as it collected our cans, knocking them against its side to empty them, and then carrying on its way to the next stop.
I got to pondering the relationship society has developed with our weekly trash removal system. We collect and save up all our dirty, broken or unusable things to offer up on garbage day. We plan for their regularly scheduled visit with the anticipation of a fresh start… an empty can, ready to be re-filled! Nobody wants to miss garbage day, nor do we enjoy when they take a holiday… we would be stuck with twice the trash, or possibly have to take our garbage to the local dump all by ourselves. Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but I can’t help but notice how this seems eerily similar to how we treat our relationship with God sometimes… just saying.
That familiar bang and clang will either jolt you out of bed at a run, or bring you a sense of relief… depending on where your trash is sitting. For the times that we forget to set out our cans, there’s always that moment of hopeless defeat, where we realize that we’re just not going to make it in time. Sometimes we may stubbornly make a mad dash for the curb, spilling things as we go, to attempt a chase down of the garbage truck… we know the driver can see us running after their tail lights! Maybe they’ll stop, but most likely, they won’t! For the times we find ourselves still sitting in bed silently swearing, there will be a day of the blame game, side by side with several rounds of COA and Pass the Buck… someb0dy messed up and now all we have to show for things is a bag of smelly trash that needs a new home.
It’s not the end of the world or anything, as we are comforted that the truck will return the following week… we can just hold on to it a bit longer, even if it’s smelly. Garbage service, like our relationship with God, has become so regular, we’ve become conditioned to just know that they’ll be there on time, like clockwork! Something as small as the removal of our trash, can fully bring our society to its knees! If we simply left the trash where it sat indefinitely, hoping it would go away on its own, it would only continue to smell and attract rodents.
As far as ACTUAL garbage pick-up, I hope they pay a boatload of money to all those garbage picker uppers, because without them, many neighborhoods would simply light themselves on fire, trying to burn all their garbage. You may be asking yourself how I’ve come up with such an absurd idea… because I play video games that let me shoot things and light fires, so I know myself well enough to guess how I might resolve my trash issue, that’s why! If little ole me thinks up stuff like this, then I can be assured that I won’t be alone. Let’s just be grateful for all of our garbage picker uppers… I know that I am!
As far as my relationship with God goes, holding onto my trash instead of regularly giving it to my creator to be removed and destroyed, my life just really starts to stink!
Honesty is always the best policy, and I’d like to be as forthright in my answer as possible. I cannot actually come up with any compliments, from off the top of my head. I’ve not lived a life that taught me how to recognize this thing we call a compliment. I have not lived a life that offered any humans that cared to offer any great words of affirmation toward much, if any, of my behavior or character… it’s actually been quite the opposite!
Oh, I’m sure that I’ve been offered positive comments here and there, but none have ever felt either sincere or useful enough to carry me to any great height… I’m just being completely honest!
Nothing my parents ever said, came with a behavior that backed up the words draining out of their mouths!
I had a great many men drip words of insincerity in my direction, with nothing more than selfish or nefarious purposes in their minds!
There was no one to push me into any academic or career direction, with words that might lead me to believe that I was smart in any form!
My entire life has been a fight, pushing against adversity from every single direction I looked! I was discouraged from having children, but I did it anyway! I raised three daughters, served in the church til I bled, homeschooled my girls while simultaneously working side jobs housekeeping, and getting a college degree… while cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and serving in a miserable marriage for 16 years. When I divorced… the only reverberating words offered by friends, family AND church was… “well, you left!”
For anyone who may have offered a compliment to my person, I thank you for your kindness. I apologize if I’ve not shown any gratitude for said compliments, but I stopped expecting or even looking for them when I was eleven!
I don’t wish for you to think me bitter, as I’ve moved away from that place of loneliness and sorrow. In honesty, I’ve only one compliment that would be worth anything and everything, but alas, I’m not home yet!
With whatever time I have left on this earth, I shall strive to live a life worthy of my Gods approval, to the best of my ability . My heart yearns to hear the only words that will matter… Well Done My Good and Faithful Servant! Just sayin…
Personally, I would like to put in a request for one of those magic elevators like Willy Wonka owned!
It’s Sunday… the sun is shining in glorious warmth… I shall take my leave, to carry my cabin fever caboose out onto the trail nearby. For today, my cross-country trip is only 2 miles away, so I’ll be using my feet for mode of travel. The river is absolutely lovely right now, as the spring rains have it flowing high on its banks. I caught a glimpse of a duck floating in a sheltered pocket yesterday, so I’m going back today, hoping to see if she has any wee ones hidden in the reeds. Maybe I’ll get lucky and catch a picture of them, if I’m stealthy enough to approach within camera shot… wish me luck!
As you know, I’m currently reading through the book of Deuteronomy, which is where Moses did a great amount of teaching and recapping of the Israelites journey thus far. I’ll be honest in saying, at first, it made me feel like God sure was dumping a lot of rules and responsibility on these people, as well as many, many ceremonies calling for a ton of burnt offerings. How on earth can a person travel, work and survive on a daily basis, while living in obedience to God?
Directly on the heels of this thought, came the idea of comparing todays current global, national, and local Holidays and Laws. Let me tell you that it quickly became apparent that this is a rabbit hole, or more aptly put, a vortex of surfing dogs in Hawaii!
I was blown away at the sheer number of Holidays we currently recognize, both federally, as well as globally and culturally… I eventually stopped counting. We as a society can’t seem to help ourselves from assigning some form of importance to nearly every day of the year. I realize that this is probably a gross exaggeration, but come on… now we not only celebrate Mother’s Day, Receptionist Day, Valentines Day, but let’s now add on Woman’s Day too? What gives? Have we quite satisfied ourselves with enough pats on the back? This is just a single theme of Holidays that we annually roll out the carpet for, so if I broke down all of them, we’d be here til the cows came home!
While the sheer number of recognizable holidays was sinking into my brain, I switched gears a bit, to look at the comparison of laws given by God to the ones given us, currently, by our government… I didn’t have to look, to know we have easily surpassed God’s numbers! God gave us 10… and we can’t even follow those with any form of regularity. Our government is so lazy that instead of rewriting a law that is appropriate… they just add new ones, ignoring the ones that came before, in my humble opinion.
My point is, we may have come forward by several thousand years, but our human nature is still the same… it just looks different! We read through scriptures, or any other form of history writings, feeling appalled at the things that humans did in the distant past! Are we not still doing the same terrible things, simply changing the label that’s attached to that particular sin? Considering these things, for me anyway, is both eye opening and humbling!
Wisdom and discernment are the best rule of thumb, in regards to reading the scriptures, as a whole! It is always so easy to judge others, while looking on from a place of piety, assured that we would never behave as they did in our distant past. For crying out loud, we do that with each other… forget about thousands, hundreds, or even 20 to 30 years ago… we can’t help but crucify each other every other day of the week! I pray that you notice I’ve included myself in this assessment, as I am not above sinful behavior any more than you, or the Israelites.
What I am seeing though, through all of my reading, is a faithful God working tirelessly, with our best interest in His mind! This discovering of my own nature, within the pages of the Israelites story actually brings me a great amount of comfort. When Satan tries to plant seeds of shame and/or hopelessness in my mind, I’m so grateful to be reminded of Gods journey with the Israelites. He didn’t give up on them all those many generations ago, and I am comforted with His faithful presence to us, in the here and now. As far as obeying all the stiff laws, performing the many sacrifices and Holy Holidays to be recognized, I feel like Gods list is far easier for me to align with, than all the ones we’ve tried to come up with on our own. If I’m following His laws, obeying the earthly ones becomes much easier, almost as if their not even necessary.
In my humble opinion, I believe that the most confident person I can think of, would be anyone willing to carry the word of God out into the darkness.
While I have no confidence in myself, nor any other human that walks this earth, as none of us has shown anything I’m willing to write home about, I do hold complete confidence in the ONE who does have all the power… He has overcome the world, you know!
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”Winston Churchill
I shall let this picture fill in all the blanks, reflecting my thoughts regarding the Quote that I’ve used for todays Note To Self #29. Sometimes I simply talk too much, leaving no room for anyone else to share their feelings, so here you go… start typing.
The world offers many different strategies for coping with ones negative feelings, some choosing a therapist, while others choose meditation, music or any other form of relaxation one might find effective in the battle against the blues.
In my case, the therapist would themselves need therapy after I unload my struggles, and my brain is often running in overdrive, leaving meditation at the nearest rest stop. While I do listen to music every day as a part of my unbluing regime, the only true form of strategy I actively employ for wrangling any negative feelings, is writing!
You may be asking, what about prayer or reading Gods word? If you have fully read ANY of my writings, I pray it would be blatantly obvious, as to how much prayer and study time that went into the words found on the pages. If I’m not in constant prayer and continuously renewing my mind in God’s word, there would not be a writing for you to read, if that makes any sense.
I pray to my Creator, I read the living scripture He’s given me, and I speak His name as often as I can. This is done through my writing, as I do not happen upon actual people, from day to day, so my out loud conversations are usually only with HIM!
Why does this work so well for me, you ask? Well, many of my negative feelings actually come from loneliness and isolation, that’s why! Personally, no therapist can help here, unless they wish to become my friend and visit with some regularity… that means being my friend without getting paid for the effort!
At the heart of everything, the cause of anyone needing to have any strategies for coping with negative feelings… is not feeling loved! I’ve written time and again how important love is and how it should work. Again, I’m hoping you saw my operative word up above… I started that sentence with my own coping mechanism… I write. Writing not only helps me, but others as well, because every time I write for you, I’m trying to give you my love!
Whatever strategy you choose for your own coping with negative feelings, you’ll know it’s the right one for you, if it bears fruit in your life, as well as those you encounter!
It’s such a glorious day today, that all the babes have been begging me to take the boat down to the river for a floating picnic. Oddly, the most excited out of the whole bunch is Lilly. Our tiny new member has a deep love for floating, which is apparently how she ended up in our barn. She’d been playing among the dandelions, climbing up and inside the white fluffiness at the top of a stem, when a stiff breeze blew through the meadow, picking her up and carrying her and her fluff off on the wind.
Even though Lilly is bigger than any ant I’ve ever encountered, she is mostly fur, which is rather odd if you consider her to be from the Ant family. Anyway, this seems to be why she was so easily carried off on the breeze. When I asked her if she wished for us to return her to her family, Lilly exclaimed that she’d no home to return to, as the spring rains had flooded her families home and washed the entire colony away.
When she managed to find her way back to the anthill of her birth, there was nothing left… they’d all simply vanished! So my tiny friend once again climbed aboard her floating flower fluff, and took flight on the winds. When the winds calmed, the fluff she was holding onto landed upon the window sill of our barn.
Our tiny new friend seemed not to be in a hurry to go searching, as she explained how the ant network handled things like the lost and found. Apparently, her family knows exactly where she is, due to the colony that live near the barn. When I asked her how they would know such information, since she’d not left the barn since her fluff landed on the window sill, Lilly gave us our first lesson about ants. We learned that the local colony visit the barn every day to collect all the crumbs left over from the constant snacking that goes on around here.
I suppose that ants are rather useful, in regards to cleaning up food messes, but I still hold that they make terrible neighbors! They never ring before they come to visit, in fact, they don’t even bother with the doorbell. Not only do they show up at really inconvenient times, but they stay until the wee hours, helping themselves to whatever is available. Nothing is sacred if they think it’s edible, and they always invite their friends and family to join them, never once asking if we mind the added guest list.
As they’ve not yet attempted to overthrow us, nor devour us, I’ve called a sort of truce between the ants and myself, out of respect for my new friend. Maybe all my bad memories of ants was nothing more than cultural misunderstandings between neighbors. Though I’ve no idea where Lilly got her enormous ears and fur, she still belongs to the ant kingdom, so I want to be sensitive and respectful towards her family and her colony!
Though I would love to tell you more about Lilly and her family, I can hear all the babes outside my office, banging on the door and carrying on like sailors. I can hear them all shouting out things they think one might say on a ship, like “lower the Boomer” and silly things like that, as they know very little about boats. I can’t help but giggle, and part of me wants to sit here longer to listen for more ridiculous nautical words they attempt to create. Alas, the day is getting away from us, as it is, so I’m off to the river with my motley crew!
If we all make it back alive, I shall regale you with the tales of conquered kingdoms and whatever bootie we gathered. Keep a weathered eye out on the horizon for our return…
Journey With Me! 