My mother gave me birth, my dad gave me nightmares, my brother gave me scars, and my sister gave me sorrow and rejection…
My children gave me memories, while my husband gives me such unconditional love and encouragement.
My Heavenly Father, who holds all my memories in the palm of His mighty hand, allows me to hold onto the good ones and let go of the bad!
These are my hearts desire…
All three children born were miracles!
My best friend!
The best thing this man ever did for me, was saying yes, when I asked him to marry me! Neither of us realized at that time, how desperately we needed each other, and in ways we hadn’t even imagined. I am eternally grateful for the chance to walk side by side with this man, from the ashes of both our lives. He loved my daughters as if they were his own, and I feel the same for his children. It always amazes me, what love can overcome…
I’m gonna get this first edit finished by the end of the week, if it’s the last thing I do! Do you hear me, book, there’s a new sheriff in town!
Please forgive me if I don’t chat as much as normal this week. I’m going to put my best efforts towards completing this first edit of my memoirs. I’m feeling excitement, exhaustion, and quite a bit of emotions, all rolled into one purpose… get it done!
Hopefully, once I’ve completed this run through, I will make an audio version of everything in its entirety. From there, all that’s left to do is let it breath for a bit, listen to my own audio cut, and tuck in any bits hanging loose. I feel somewhat embarrassed to have taken so long in the completion of this task, but even now, the content is powerful enough to draw up great emotions. I find the need to work for a time, followed by a break, and then rinse and repeat.
I need to wrap this up though, as I feel God lighting a fire under me to get back to my other project, which is also nearly 2/3 of the way there. Perhaps I have used up more time than I should have, hemming and hawing about having to actually say that I’m finally done. In the end, I know that it will have been worth all the effort, if for no other reason than to please my God!
As I work towards finishing this first full work, it’s as if I can feel water sloshing over the edge of the literary dam that I’ve kept held back. While I’ve been distracted with cleaning up the beginnings of my literary river, the waters have been backing up. I can feel the splash of watery words dropping down upon my head, trying to escape the barrier that prevents them from landing on a page. They are all crying out to be written and shared, tired of waiting for me to release them. Like water that needs to flow, in order to produce energy and life, so to do these words seek to flow from my mind, and onto the page. It’s Time!
MeeMaw’s Kitchen is the best place to share a meal, share some laughs, and leave feeling fully loved!
Along with walking away, carrying a full belly of homecooked goodness, the only cost for said meal is your time! And the beauty of it is, I’m always open!
Whether it’s a meal, or maybe just a cookie, you will know that you are loved unconditionally!
How many times, as parents, have we found ourselves asking our kids this question? We set rules and guidelines, so as to protect and care for them, until they can safely function in the world on their own. When we catch them doing a thing we’ve clearly told them not to do, their response to the question above is usually something like “Oh, this? I thought you were talking about something else.” Are you kidding me?!
This was where I found my brain going, after reading through the events that occurred right in the middle of Jericho falling, and the ripple effect that tore through the Israelites camp. Honestly, sometimes human nature irritates me so much! Looking at the ones involved as if their naughty children, is the only way I can find understanding in the dumb things we children seem to do.
For example! Consider for a moment that you are a man of fighting age, following God’s chosen army around Jericho for a week, only to watch the walls fall to the ground because God said they would if you walked around it. At this point, you’ve been informed by the one directing the army, “keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it. All the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron are sacred to the lord and must go into his treasury.” Joshua 6: 18,19 NIV. With what you know of God thus far, and as one serving in His army, logic should dictate that you follow this directive.
As I read further into this story, there was, in fact, a man in this very position. His sin and disobedience to God cost the lives of at least 30 some fellow soldiers later on, in the next city the Israelites went up against. You see, Joshua was unaware of what Achan son of Carmi, took for himself and hid in his tent. When Joshua sent the army to Ai, they were routed and sent fleeing, leaving the Israelites very confused, as to why they lost the battle; why would God allow this to happen? When Joshua sought God for the answer, this was where he learned about something bad happening in the camp, but God didn’t just give him the answer… I think this was a lesson, somehow.
The whole of the community were to come before the Lord, tribe by tribe, until God chose the tribe involved. From here, they were to come before God by families, until once again, God chose the family involved. Now at this point, if I were Achan, I’d be sweating pretty bad! Where can you run, where can you hide from God? How many of us can remember the feelings we went through, as our parents put us on the spot about what we thought had gone unnoticed. We had knots in our stomachs, as we awaited whatever punishment was forthcoming for said offense. I honestly cannot imagine how I might feel coming before God, knowing I could not escape the truth! For this particular man, and his entire family, the consequences were deadly… they were all stoned to death!
You want to know why I think this story bothered me so much? I think it’s because, even today, we still try to hide our sins and shortcomings from the one who already knows; He knows before we’ve even thought to do the sinning. I cannot even put myself above this embarrassing truth of our human behavior. I squirm uncomfortably, at the thought of all the times I think my attitude or behavior is hidden from the eyes of my Father. It’s not!
I realize that even today, our sinful human nature is always there to attempt lulling us with the safety net of our salvation… it’s not that bad, God will forgive us! We bolster our spiritual confidence with the thought that as long as we don’t do the big no no’s, we’re good with God, for the most part. It is so easy to find ourselves creating biblical excuses for bad behavior. As I mentioned before, I’ve been simultaneously reading the New Testament along side the old, and it has been very edifying. I am finding that all of the books in the bible are so cohesive with each other, adding depth to my studies.
I want to leave you with a verse I read this morning, from the book of Galatians. I think that within this verse lies part of my answer, as to how that soldier could be so foolish, when he most certainly should have known better:
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6: 7-9
I think that Kermit and Fozzie Bear sung it the best! As I am sure I’ll be on the same journey I’ve been on since birth, I can only imagine that I’ll still be checking my mirror, to make sure I don’t have food on my face!
Todays phrase being captured, is Spill the beans, suggested by Fibrecraft Grannie. I suppose it doesn’t matter whether it’s used for either spilling or not spilling the beans, as the meaning should still be the same.
In complete honesty, I’ve not done any investigation on this definition at all this week! Today is the first time I allowed myself to think on what the saying means and where it came from, so let’s do this!
The first thing that I thought about, when looking at this phrase, was my mothers pot of beans that used to sit on the stove overnight. Now I don’t mean the saying could be referring to cooked or raw, but I just went to that place. The only thing I can think it might mean, is that when you spill beans, those little buggers can go everywhere… just like something you may say.
Now I really don’t have any idea if the saying originated on a farm, but it’s probably a safe bet. I mean beans are a food, right?!
From thinking about beans in a bag, my brain went to the next best thing, candy! A bag of peanut M&M’s to be exact!
One time, when my girls were small, I had been standing in the kitchen of our home, struggling to open a giant bag of M&Ms. The top of the bag would just not budge, no matter how hard I tried to pull the edges apart. My husband, at the time, was standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching me fight with the silly bag. He offered to assist, even maybe grab a pair of scissors, but I refused his help saying, “No worries, I’ve got this!” No sooner had I uttered those words, the bag gave, sending peanut M&Ms throughout the kitchen and all the way into the living room where the kids stood watching. It was a free-for-all!
Needless to say, we were picking up M&Ms from all over the place for a while, and I remember finding a gooey pile under our refrigerator, some months later. So this is where I’m now stuck, as I can’t stop laughing about the candy. I sort of think I’m on the right track with my loose definition, but let’s ask the experts at google…
The first thing on the page, when I asked google, was from Inc.com:
To spill the beans Origin: This is likely drawn from the ancient Greek process of voting, where votes were cast by placing one of two different colored beans in a vase (usually a white bean meant yes, and a black/brown one meant no). If someone literally spilled the beans, the election results would be revealed. Aug 29, 2019
While I can say that I was along the lines of the idea behind spilling beans, it wasn’t until after I looked it up that it actually made sense. I’d completely not thought about the vote thing from Greek times, but once I read it, I was like… DUH!!!
Living life simply may have some drawbacks, but the benefits far out way those things! Something as small as a steaming cup of fresh coffee, of a quiet morning, can bring me so much pleasure! There was a time when I worked full time in the city, stopping each morning to plunk a good amount of greenbacks down, for some premium brewed beans. Looking back, it seemed such a waste of good money for a cup of coffee, brewed by super baristas, when I now get so much pleasure out of Folgers, with a bit of vanilla cream.
Next up would be my slippers! As I walk so much, leaving my poor toe beans to suffer, I make it up to them by wearing the softest and fluffiest pair of slippers I can find. While you might think I’d spare no expense for my indoor shoes, think again. The beauty is in the fact that I get such pleasure from the act of slipping into something squishy and soft; it’s not from the look or cost of the slipper. I realize that cheap is not always better, but in this case, I get by.
While these pleasures I share with you are in no particular order, I’m simply writing them down as I think of them. Speaking of writing, I have to mention the joy I get out of literary expression. It makes me happy whether I’m typing on a computer, writing in a journal or even jotting things down on a napkin. Just let me write!
I suppose my next choice comes by default, from mentioning the writing. Where would we be without the beauty and magic of reading? Whether rich or poor, everyone can enjoy the pleasure of reading, in some form or another. I’m in my fifty’s and to this day, a book still holds the magic of transporting me to anywhere I want to go, for everything from adventure to knowledge; sometimes, I get lucky and find both in the same book!
Last but certainly not least would be to receive love! I can easily say that it is an everyday thing, as it is at my finger tips always, whether from God, my husband or those nearby… point being, love is there if we just look up!
Someone got me thinking about Danish this morning, so here is my favorite to share with you…
When I arrived at the barn this morning, it was once again empty, with no babes anywhere to be seen! I sort of figured they’d be out playing in the fort they built last week, so I headed that way. When I got to the fort, there was no babes to be found anywhere. As I stood wondering where they might be, I heard some commotion down at the pond.
Normally, I don’t like to leave the babes unattended down by the water, but Brutus and Tilly are with them, and those two are both good swimmers. If I knew Tilly, she’d ensure the babes would all have life jackets on, while Brutus would simply fish them out of the water if needed. F.Y.I. Tilly and her friends all worked things out last week, as I had hoped they would. In the end, love always wins out! Underneath it all, I think that Tilly just really wants her own baby, but that’s just a guess.
Anyway, I was tempted to just let the babes alone, as the silence in the barn would be divine for my writing. But, as curiosity has always been a thing that drives my imagination, I headed for the commotion down at the pond. When I arrived, it was like watching a bunch of children trying to fish a toy out of the bathtub… a very large bathtub!
Brutus was dashing madly about, fishing one babe or another out of the deep end of the pond, in which they’d flung themselves fearlessly; whatever it was they were trying to catch, seemed very important to them. When I looked over towards Tilly, she wasn’t upset at all like I thought she’d be, rather, she was cheering them on excitedly!
There, in the middle of the pond sat the smallest of frogs, happily resting upon a lily pad. As soon as any babe got close to it, the tiny thing would simply hop to nearby pad, easily escaping their grasp. I admit that I was quite surprised, just as my little ones had been, that we had a frog in our pond. It’s a very small area and I’m not even sure there are any fish in there; at least, I’ve never seen anything, aside from myself and the babes.
I recalled all the troops, offering them some fresh raspberries I’d brought to the barn with me this morning. As the babes stuffed the juicy red berries into their tiny mouths, they tried to tell me of what they’d been doing… spraying juice and seeds in all directions.
While they did this, the frog seemed to be relaxing on it’s little pad, out in the center of the pond. In my opinion, the frog didn’t appear to be scared at all, instead, it looked to be waiting for the chase to continue; I think the frog was having fun jumping away, almost more than the babes were having, while trying to catch it.
Leaving Brutus and Tilly to corral the babes along the bank, I walked down to the ponds edge and placed two fresh raspberries atop the closest lily pad I could reach. I then stepped back and sat down upon the soft grass, to await the frog’s next move. For several moments, with Dinky and Boomer excitedly squealing in the background, the frog just sat there staring at me curiously. The frog suddenly jumped from its resting place, and with practiced ease, landed beside the raspberries.
While the frog enjoyed the berries, he introduced himself as Flurburt! He explained that he was in need of a home and had hoped to take up residence in the pond. That is, until my band of furry hooligans came along. He’d not realized that the pond belonged to someone else already. I explained that this pond was not actually our pond, but simply the local pond near our barn.
While he wasn’t afraid of the babes, he was concerned about constantly being chased by the little ones. Eventually, someone might get hurt, and he’d not want to cause anyone to come to harm. He’s agreed to stay, if, and only if, I can control the babes a little more when they come to the pond. I have agreed!
So, the only plan I’ve thought to come up with, as a way to teach the babes how to be gentle and calm, has been to get them each a stuffed frog of their own. I’ve a plan to take them all on a short adventure into the forest, baby stuffed frogs and all! My hope is that they can practice playing in the woods, while taking proper care of their own little pretend baby. It worked for my daughters when they were small, so why wouldn’t it work with my babes now?
I realize that I may be taking on more of a challenge than I should, but I’ve both Brutus and Tilly to assist. Wish me luck!
Journey With Me! 