Category: cats

In todays world of Bigger Better Faster Stronger Smarter Prettier Wealthier and on and on and on and on… it is easy to feel like little ole me will never be enough, never measure up and most likely will never be remembered for anything worth mentioning.

Where does that leave us then, all of us that will never be enough?

That point in ones life where we feel this kind of reality is different for everyone. Some learn this early on, while others will go much of their life before getting smacked in the face with this moment of clarity.

Once we arrive at this moment, what do we do then? When I accept that I will never measure up to the Worlds’ standards, what am I left with? I still want to feel valued, appreciated and loved for what I can offer… otherwise, what the heck are we trying so hard for?

That is where my relationship with God enters this conversation… He chose me first and not the other way around. Isn’t it funny how, for the most part, God always chooses to work in the lives of nobodies like me and you… regular old messed up lives of everyday folks like us.

Rather than chasing rabbit holes of the Whys of things, I simply choose to believe that God is actively working in my life, and my successes are met with His approval while my failures are met with His Grace. He is the author of my faith, and the only one who believes in me more than I do. It is more important for me to follow His will and purpose, than to seek my own earthly ideas of where I need to be. Even though I know this to be true, there are still those days… you know, the days where we need reminding of who we are in Him, and who He is in us!

I find it amazing every time I pick up my bible, how many places throughout this book where God leaves us reminders, messages of hope, and reasons to pursue Joy… His love and desire for us has been intricately woven throughout the whole of scriptures. Not just that, but everything we will need to make it through to the end of things… it’s all there… we just need to look for it!

When I am having those days… like the one I was mentioning earlier, sometimes I need a reality reminder of why I am truly still here on this earth. For this reason I chose a scripture passage that reminds me of whose plan and purpose I can follow by faith, and it is actually not about me at all! The plan and purpose are His and not mine…

Note To Self #13

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

If I do anything good or leave anything behind when I go, it wasn’t my idea, nor my perfectly designed plan, but HIS! I remember that it won’t be you standing there looking over my life on the day I am called home, but God, and not a single word of approval or praise by the world will ring louder than “WELL DONE MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT”! Those will be His words, not yours or mine…

I know it may sound silly, but I am so excited that our floor is in, I don’t even care that there’s chaos reigning in every other corner of the RV… one thing at a time… baby steps!

We didn’t get here overnight and it will take every ounce of our strength… and faith in God… to get us out of the hole that Life Interruptus buried us in!

As I sit here in the quiet of the morning, sipping my coffee and rubbing my feet on the new surface covering the floor… I sort of laugh at how different my perspective is now, compared to before our nomadic existence began.

Sacrifices made, obstacles overcome, and a commitment to stay the course has become our daily bread. Had anyone asked me 5 years ago if I could handle even a handful of the things we have faced, I would have laughed in their faces… this girl loves her lotions, perfumes, and pretties… all of which would seem out of place and absurd now, sitting next to boxes, blankets, tools, and two humans climbing over each other while seeking that misplaced roll of paper towels.

I find myself getting rushes of pleasure when watching my plant survive amidst all odds, or finding a pair of socks I had not seen in a month. Suddenly, how I smell or how my skin looks and feels, pales in comparison to whether there is creamer still in the fridge, or discovering that extra roll of toilet paper I didn’t see in the back of the cabinet.

I think that I spent way too many years with a very immature perspective on what was important, or valuable, in the long run.

We humans are such complex creatures… some with the capacity for evil, but most reflect a great capacity to expand and overcome adversity. We are built GOD Tough!

Here is the thing I have been mulling over, as I slide my socks back and forth like a child, just because we all have the same ability to overcome something and find the good… we have to choose to utilize this ability… our perspective can make or break us, in regards to the getting up and getting through.

Hills, Valleys, Mountains, and the Deadlands of life exist for us all… our perspective makes all the difference in how we climb over, travel through, march around or stay the course straight ahead, as we travel on. This is where Mental Chores are so very important for my journey of healing.

It’s pretty simple! I stay as close to God as I possibly can… through my prayer, my study of His word, and walking one day at a time!

I said simple, not easy… The last several years have been some of the most difficult, and yet beautifully life changing, for me personally. For this girl, I find that by walking with a bit more of God’s perspective on things rather than mine, which can be very emotionally fueled, I have begun living rather than just surviving…

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Bring it on, my closet comedians… I know you’re out there…

Sabatour

Do you ever feel like we sometimes do things that seem to hinder our lives, rather than help?

I want to write about this, because I have shockingly discovered, of late, that I have been sabotaging myself… not joking… and it has shaken me to the core! I’m talking about scaring myself silly!

Before I share my situation, I took the liberty of sharing the actual definition of what a Sabatour does… the only thing I add is, “To Self”. I pulled it from the Oxford Dictionary.

sab·o·tage

verb

verb: sabotage; 3rd person present: sabotages; past tense: sabotaged; past participle: sabotaged; gerund or present participle: sabotaging

1. deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something)…

Everyone knows that I am currently pursuing medical help for some health issues, but what you do not know is that I have somehow gotten every single appointment wrong… that is no exaggeration. They call to confirm… I write the correct dates down… they text me the correct dates… I look at the dates and times, but here is where I have completely freaked myself out… I fully speak, think, and ACT on the completely wrong information!

It is so ridiculously bad, that my husband has had to take over all my scheduling appointments. I completely fell apart on Thursday of last week when I missed yet another appointment, feeling like I was losing my mind. After more than an hour of sitting and talking with my husband, I realized that my brain is fine, but all the poking and prodding and fear of falling apart physically has sent me into a bit of a tail spin.

I am actually of a mind to believe that I am subconsciously self-sabotaging from an unwillingness to try again with the Medical Profession. Over the years my care has seemingly done more harm than to bring any benefit. I will be honest in saying that I feel pretty confident in my Spiritual Beliefs, but man, when it comes to my physical body, this ole machine goes into full lock down, military grade defenses, and Nuclear resistant walls of the hardest materials!

While I have always felt in control of my faculties, it almost feels like I have a stranger in the midst of my fort manning the defenses… without MY consent!

I am so so so so so grateful for the Grace and Mercy of God in all things of my life… not just the end game at the gate! I am unable to take any medications for any of my conditions, which makes it a lot more work to manage my anxiety and depression, so when I left Big Pharma behind, I switched to the word of God. The truest sense of relief and peace that I experience, comes when I pick up my bible and just read… doesn’t matter what part, it is just the words… they are living you know…

Call it whatever you will, but I think it is simply time spent! Time spent in fellowship, in rest, in His shadow… see where I am going with this idea? The time spent with Him calms me! I can remember that He already knows what is to come, and if I am able to trust Him, the rest will not matter… He’s Got This… cause I know for sure that I don’t!

Well… November is well upon us, and I am setting the stage for our upcoming events. I mentioned before that I wanted to do a Virtual Holiday and I am bringing it up again. I am giving everyone until Thanksgiving to come up with a Christmas Wish List for themselves and put it in the comments anywhere on my site, that is, if you wish to participate.

Anyone wishing to participate can simply use their Christmas Day Post to reveal what they got peeps from those lists… your post is yours so you can present your gifts anyway you wish. It is virtual so the sky is the limit! I thought it would be so beautiful to have the Reader covered with gifts and sharing all across WordPress. Be there or Be SQUARE!

I really hope more folks start adding their Jokes on Wednesday Laugh Off because, if left to my own devices, these jokes may get worse and worse and worse… it’s what I do!

Brutus continues on Live Novel Friday with another chapter.

There is another audio chapter of My Truths available in the Lobby.

Sundays Potluck theme is Lazy Day Take Out, so stick around after Live Wire and don’t forget to pick out your favorite slippers and pillow from the table by the door…

Happy Monday Hugs to everybody!!!!!!