When I game, I don’t just game… I spend all my time (in game) collecting every stray animal I can find within that map! Do I pay attention to my team (husband and brother in law)? Nope! While they are off slaying enemies, you will find me searching…
While the guys are sneaking into enemy camps and stealing all their stuff, I am looking for little ones… innocent little creatures that I can rescue (club unconscious) and raise as my own.
As I play a mix of MMORPG games, I have amassed quite a menagerie of virtual pets…
You could even say that I am THE MOTHER OF DRAGONS… and horses, and cats, and wolves, and a Pheonix, and 3 Pegasus, an Elephant, and two Rhinos!
Of my all my virtual companions I have my favorites…
Careful, I have not trimmed his nails this week so if he scratches you, it’s gonna make a mess on my virtual carpets.
Next, there is Oberon and Lady Idris from Ark…
This picture is just an example… mine are darker in color.
These are not my personal pictures in game, but you get the idea…
I personally prefer the Ironbelly Ancient Dragons… you don’t want to know how many I have or how many different breeds I have collected… Let us just say that I have a pretty extensive breeding program in Ark.
Lastly there are my horses…
Oreo is actually a Grey Roan but I just grabbed this picture for an example. I have too many horses you see, and it would be unfair to any one of them if I put another’s picture up for your viewing pleasure.
I built a full stable in both games. While I don’t have a long list of favorites here, I do love my Oreo. Now I know that he looks exactly like two of the others in my stable, but Oreo is my pal. I don’t just feed him vines like the others, no no… He gets only the finest bark available with my Eldarian Pick-axe!
Ok ok… I have thoroughly geeked out right in front of your virtual eyes! But, hey… this is the cheapest and easiest way to relax and I can have as many babies as I want without all the messy clean up and vet bills. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do…
Well, since I have been sharing my thoughts, insights and discoveries about Church, I wanted to share with you what I have decided! My search for church brought me to the discovery that it (church) is a never ending story, and I will explain why…
Studying Gods word and seeking a more complete understanding of what Church was, is, and should/could be… is a lifelong pursuit! I believe that it is supposed to be, otherwise, I could just read it, learn it, and then retire in my own self-righteous arrogance about my own Godly wisdom. What a waste…
If I am His Church… through the righteousness of Christ Jesus… then it stands to reason that I must flux and change, as time goes on and God dictates, to fulfill His purposes. The church should go to where there is need… maybe that is why my house has wheels… I dunno…
If I am His Church… through the righteousness of Christ Jesus… then it also stands to reason that my lobby (my heart) is always open to receive visitors… This House of God is always open! The beauty of my lobby is in the fact that it is just that… a Lobby! It is not a therapist office, as I have no degree… it is not a coffee shop, but it does have a fountain of living water within it… it is not a place to like, share, or I will friend you if you friend me… this is not Facebook!
If I am His Church… through the righteousness of Christ Jesus… then it finally also stands to reason that this hostess is not expected to be flawless, nor wiser than any other traveler that stops in… That is Jesus Job… He already did that! What I am is a willing and obedient child of God… broken and yet whole… flawless and yet faulable… perfect in His eyes with all my scars still visible on my skin… I am a tender of my scars… caring without judgement… so far from perfect that I am just what the Doctor ordered!
Through the righteousness of Jesus, this vessel has become His light in the darkness! Our broken down old RV is my chariot, and my soulmate is my trusty and faithful Steed/Guardian! Were it not for God seeing my unformed body when I was woven together in the depths, there would be no hope for my existence. With that being said, I wish to be your hostess in said Lobby… whether you stop in and say hello, laugh with me about something, cry with me over a hurt, or quietly take a drink from the fountain and be off, I will be here.
I wish to extend an open and never ending invitation to visit this lobby… I do not care who you are, why you have come, what you do in your off time, or if we agree on everything in life… why do we have to agree on everything? That is where judgement steps in, and that is not my department… no thanks! Just laugh at my silly word prompts, grab a cookie, and if ever there is a time when you just need some love… I will be in the lobby.
Starting Monday, I am going to be doing things differently throughout the winter months. Mondays will be a message board, of sorts, for all of you to get an idea of what is coming up. With the picture changes to reflect the changing season, I am wishing to use my site for themes of gratitude, warm holiday recipes and memories. If you are wondering why I am doing this, it is sort of my first attempt at celebrating a full holiday season… virtually! We are going to have potlucks, gift exchanges, parties… but all are virtual and free… the sky is the limit, right?! Trust me, I have a plan so all you have to do is check the Monday Messages to see what the week will hold.
Now that I am getting a clearer picture of the direction God is pointing me in, regarding Church, I find it rather appropriate that my title reads “Journey with Me”… don’t you?
In a world where talk is cheap, one would think it would be quite easy enough to pick a word and throw it on the WordPress Imaginary Burn Pile. Personally, I honestly could not come up with even one. I am not sure if it’s because I don’t want to, or because I can’t choose.
The first thing coming to mind was, “Sorry”. The next word was “Me”… then it went to “I”, and then it went to “why is this question peeving me off”? The merry go round had begun to turn, and I began feeling a bit nauseated as I tried to hold onto the idea behind removing a usable word… I am a writer for crying out loud! Words are all I have! Calm down, calm down… we are not heading into an emotional breakdown… more like a Dr. Seuss story.
So, back to our conversation from a moment ago… I am a writer, and somewhat of a shut in, with few souls that I engage with face to face, with real word sounds. The thought of removing any word from the English language seems ludicrous to this girl! It is not the words’ fault when hoomans misuse, overuse, or even abuse the words’ use. That’s like asking a diabetic to stop taking insulin because they are doing the injection wrong. We do not do that because they would die without the medication. We take the time to educate them in properly administering the life saving drug. I think the same thing goes for words!
Using the word I in writing, expresses perspective… using the word me takes focus off of you and uses the writer as the example… and using the word Sorry is my true humility for any misstep taken.
I guess my take away here is to be careful what I speak, whatever words I use… I am truly sorry WordPress, I tried to decide on an answer for you, but for me… words are how I take you places, show you things, and share with you who I am…
Maybe it had to do with my childhood… or possibly the memory of very poor healthcare, from those touting their hypocritic … I mean Hippocratic oaths. Lets just say, they gave a less than convincing effort at caring for my health, than I think this earthly body deserved.
That being said, I do believe that there are good doctors out there… but boy is it hard to find one that listens and actually tries to help. I hope that you didn’t pick up on it, but I have been struggling for the last few days. I had to go get a check-up. My friend finally convinced me to apply for Medicaid and food stamps which I felt awful about. But it had to be done!
I have not been to a doctor since the shutdown, and it hasn’t been easy… but at the same time, I think it also saved my life!
You see, I have several health conditions that at one time, had me taking 6 medications. I felt like a numb Zombie most of the time, unable to find the energy to get beyond the medicating fog… eventually gaining a great amount of weight that landed me in a recliner for 12 to 14 hours a day. The saddest part of things was I still hurt constantly… and if I missed even one dose of my meds it put me in such a tail swing that I would crash and end up in the emergency room. During the shutdown was my last crash! From the anxiety, stress, and eventual homelessness I fell apart!
The long and short of it was, I dropped off the grid and nearly died. I lost over 100 lbs and not the good way… either starving or throwing up whatever I ate. Nearly all my hair fell out, and I am self-diagnosing but I think I am still working my way through PTSD. I could take a wild guess and say my condition started when I was born and just followed me all these years. Take your pick as to any number of the really crappy poker hands life dealt me, for this self diagnosis.
Anyway, I feel better now than I ever have, aside from a few things. Wisdom dictated that I seek professional assistance to check bloodwork, blood pressure, and those sort of things. I will admit that my right arm has not been working and my right eye has a cataract, and I need a doctors help. They are much better qualified in this regard.
Requesting assistance seems reasonable to me, until I am asked to trust a stranger for anything. Trauma has a memory you see…
Fear has been knocking on my door since I made the appointment, and my faith has been working overtime to answer before I get there. I rescheduled once, but it was justified. This time I meant to go through with it, using my husband as my personal cattle prod. Had he not been there when they handed me the health survey, I would have turned right back around and left… I’m just being honest.
The questions were redundant, ridiculous, and in my opinion, seeming only to wonder if I drank, smoke, or was sad… not kidding… three separate forms asking the same questions. Not once did anyone care if I was sad, when we were denied unemployment, or as the sheriff taped the 72 hour final notice on our front door. It is so hard to let go of old hurts! My spirit is calm and at peace, but my physical body fights me so much… reacting out of a childlike self-preservation survival mode. God walks with me one day at a time, and never rushes me into something I am not prepared for… that’s how He rolls!
Looking back on things, I can see God’s faithfulness… connecting me with probably one of the nicest group of professionals I have ever met. Remember that I am a Chatty Cathy/Loud Mouth Frog/Wolverine, to anyone not resting safely behind a computer screen. The entire staff handled me with attentiveness, kindness, professionalism and genuine compassion. God is Good!
They successfully drew my blood for testing, without me passing out on the floor. I told you about my childhood grange hall vaccination memories… that stuff messed me up!
Today, however, I did get a pretty pink band aid after they drew my blood. In the end it was a success I think! I will get referrals for my cataract and arm issues, hopefully skirting around any surgeries or drugs… here is hoping, but I will do what must be done to keep seeing and using my arm. I need em if I am to keep turning summersaults all over our virtual lobby!
Since we have already established that WordPress uses the prompts to stalk us, I will not waste your time rehashing old info. And… since I am not falling for the banana in the tailpipe (from the line in Beverly Hills Cop), intimate answers will not be forthcoming.
There is merit in the question until the “About?” part. Unless you are the mediator in an arguement, a therapist, or someone directly involved in the incident, it is none of your business, in my opinion.
That being said, I did consider the first part of the question and I was left a bit confused. I will tell you why, and it is not because I do not understand the question. I went on a search of the definition to the word Grudge, and got stuck on the question of What is the difference between a grudge and unforgiveness? While I do not think I have either, I do have a great amount of emotions left over from my childhood, from my first marriage, and from the Shut Down.
I also struggled with the difference between grudge and distrust, or bitterness. All three are negative and damaging. Maybe I am way off the mark, but in my mind the idea of a grudge seems almost intentional… like making it a point to use this grudge thing like a weapon, causing intentional damage to the offender in even the smallest and seemingly benign ways.
While I do not have any real trust in our government, and with good reason, I realize that I am a very tiny grain of sand in a rather large pond. Slipping through the cracks is more likely the case, than the government intentionally making plans to ignore me way back then when I was that tiny girl. The souls that traumatized me in my past, no longer make me hold a grudge or cling to unforgiveness. However, there are solid steel boundaries around this vessel now… sometimes blocking the heart that lies within.
On a good day I feel full of Gods spirit and I am a fountain of Grace, Mercy, Compassion, Empathy, Joy, and Peace! I rest in the truth of my own forgiveness, which allows me to forgive and help anyone I encounter.
On my bad days I struggle with grief, anger, frustration and fear. I speak to no one, and bury myself in my bed under blankets and pillows all day. I am still that same child of God, I just live under His shadow now, and there are just those days that He has the strength to get me through the day… when I cannot do it on my own.
My confusion is that the definition of Grudge is almost ambiguous… like it can be used under too many other guises, fooling us into answering yes when we mean no, or visa versa.
I don’t know, maybe I am just confused because I just woke up and my brain fog has not cleared yet. I am being sincere in saying that this question is just a bit too deep, this early in the morning.
Look! We made it to the doorway everyone. Gather close so that we can make a plan, while keeping as quiet as possible. I have no idea what will play out once the door opens, but whatever we do… it must be swift! I am not even sure if we will be able to exit out of the mouth of the cave, or simply do a grab and go; heading back the way we came in from the tunnels. I did see a split off back down the path about an hour and a half ago.
I believe we will need three groups to make this work. Someone will need to hold the door open until we know if we have to backtrack, and if so, cover our escape down the path… we will be running fast if things go badly. You will need to have weapons ready in order to block any pursuers following us, if possible. Once we pass you, if it looks too costly to fight, do what you can to collapse the tunnel… I think this doorway is old and rotting, so you may be able to knock the supports out easily enough.
I will need several able-bodied volunteers for the extraction, helping me to do the grabbing part, as I have no clue how much a baby dragon weighs… if it is, in fact, a dragonlet! The third group must go before us into the lair; blocking any danger near the front of the cave, as we will need to focus on our pick up without any distractions.
If you are all in agreement, who would like to help me with the baby? Crocket, I should have known you would help, though I am a bit surprised to see both Christine and Bubbles jump in right behind you. I welcome all of your assistance, and your bravery gives me courage! Wow James! You were definitely meant to be our front runner by the sword you just pulled out of your bag. I am feeling better just looking at your group of weapon wielding adventurers; eyes alight with a strange fiery strength. Carver, thank you for organizing our retreat and holding the doorway clear for us… it could mean the difference between escape or capture.
I have spent the last two days in these tunnels, thinking about this doorway. I have had a lot of time to ask myself why it was placed here, and why the dragon made it so small?I was reminded of the old passages read, about dragons being well known for magic!I have heard stories of a dragon’s ability to transform, sometimes into the form of a person. If the dragon wanted a hidden escapeway, this would fit the bill! All he would have to do is transform into a smaller version of himself, or possibly a man; slipping out the back without being seen… it just took a while for me to remember.
Being a servant to the Commander requires the reading of a great many things, so my memory filing system has to hold a ton of information; organizing and retrieving it on the fly. Sometimes that can take a while. It might take a bit, but the information always surfaces at the right time, for the most part.
Anyway, now that we seem to all understand the logistics of things, and each is prepared to do their part… shall we begin?
Remember, on the count of three we open the door and go… James and his team first, followed by my retrieval team. Carver, be ready to follow if we give the all clear… otherwise, hold here at the door and await our return.
One…
Two…
Three…
Ow! Watch it, he bites! Quick Christine, throw this blanket over his head, while Bubbles is distracting him with her bubble wand. Perfect! I’ll hold my bag open for you Crocket, since he’s heavy looking and I don’t think I can get him on my own… I think you’ll move faster than I can.
Christine, can you go call up the rest of the team from the tunnel, now that James has given us the all clear from outside the cave entrance? From the looks of this cave, something horrible happened here… bones strewn about the nest, and broken shells of at least two other dragonlets; both gone without a trace! Whatever it was that tragically occurred here, it must have caused the dragons to leave the nest… abandoning this baby.
What a pitiful baby he is, this angry one! Wounded, abandoned and so frightened… how can we blame the little thing. No wonder he bites! I would too if I were him, seeing the things he has seen. He was witness to the tragedy that unfoldedwithin these walls, watching whatever happened to his siblings.
And I am baffled and saddened as to where his mother has gone, willing to abandon her baby. These questions will have to wait for another time. For now, we must make haste and get off this mountain. There is no telling if or when someone will return to this cave, looking to remove any last bit of evidence of the evil that occurred here. I personally have no desire to wait around and see if they do…
When I was a small girl I had many dreams… dreams of having a family that I could rely on…
Growing up on the street left a great amount to dream about when it came to a safe dry place to sleep…
Sixteen years of dreaming about an ideal home destroyed my first marriage…
I thought we had found our ideal home about 7 years ago, and then the shut down claimed everything we owned…
Now, I am keeping my expectations within a realistic realm…
Yesterday, I played a game with my husband, had a healthy meal, and slept in relative safety…
The only ideal home that I now look towards is no longer here, but heavenward. I am going to store up my treasures there, cause the world keeps takin my stuff!
I think all parents can relate to having at least one experience, where the distressed cry of your child causes you to drop everything and come running! Once there, you discover your tiny human overreacting to something minor, as if it were a natural disaster. To them the world and its struggles seem so big and often scary; causing our wee ones distress that only a parent can make all better!
This is where I found myself one summer afternoon, when my middle daughter was about 18 months old. Afterwards, I did what any good parent would do…I made sure to write the memory down in great detail, so as to repeatedly remind my daughter of the incident, for the rest of her life.
To Babybug,
I could hear your angry screams coming from the bedroom. I dropped everything and headed towards the crying.
Chubby little baby butt cheeks peeked out of all of the windows. I had to leave your sister with you while I ran next door to get our neighbor. I fully intended to have him help me free you, but for what felt like five minutes, we both laughed uncontrollably.
After somewhat controlling his laughter, my neighbor had to literally split the dollhouse in half, so as not to pinch your little butt cheeks, while I pulled you up and out.
Photo by u041au043eu043bu0435u0434u0430 u0414u043cu0438u0442u0440u0438u0439 on Pexels.com
I think you were more upset and offended at my laughing, than you were about being stuck, or that we destroyed your dollhouse.
Though it may seem an odd way of remembering things, sometimes the things I read from the prompt, bring me an immediate memory response… at times it is rather off the wall, but this time it fits pretty well.
Is it just me or does everyone’s kids try to give them gifts that make them cry? Well, mine were professional Tear Jerkers! For some reason, they made it their mission in life to outdo each other in the “make mom cry at your gift” department. Whether it be a holiday gift or possibly Mothers Day or my Birthday, tears were always to be incoming.
Now this is most probably because I am a cry baby… yes folks… full on cry baby am I. I cry if I am happy, sad, or angry! I have an empathetic spirit, so emotions run very very high within this vessel. I think my girls figured it out early on, deriving much joy in knowing my reaction showed my true happiness at their gifts. It did not help, however, that there were three of them and they turned it into a competition at times. To this day I am not sure why they behaved this way… it’s kind of funny.
Now that you know I am a big baby, we can try to make some grown up and mature explanation of a really great reason to cry for Joy… I have a laundry list of crying sessions… hmmmm… Oh! I did cry yesterday when I.V. said some very sweet things regarding a piece I wrote. You all better not start acting like my kids and saying stuff to see if I cry… just teasing.
In truth I love your comments and responses. Connecting with others brightens my days and whether my tears are of Joy or simply emotional responses, both enrich my spirit. Who knows, maybe if the world would let themselves freely cry to express feelings, there would not be so much anger out there. Ah well, pipe dreams I guess… Most likely we would end up with no job, no money, and the economy would crash aside from the Pet stores. There would be emotional support animals controlling everything… schools, businesses, and mainly Government (They are all crybabies anyway).
Well, it is Monday September 4th, and I am off to adventure with my great panther Brodie, and I will probably cry if he dies again. Happy Labor Day!
Oh, don’t forget to take your treat with you when you leave.
Journey With Me! 