Though the picture may seem cute, I on the other hand, do not look nearly as adorable after attempting to color my own hair, of late.
My hair is way overdue for some gray coverage upkeep, but here is the rub… I can barely see myself clearly in the mirror, and my right arm concerns have yet to be resolved, so I have limited use of that side. Between those two problems, the woman that I become after a self color job is far less “Adorbs” as the little sugar plum in the picture!
It is hilarious, to say the least! My hair resembles a cross between the patchy white stripes on the roadway, and a calico cat with its mottled fur. I kept missing so many places and having to reapply the color… still not able to see all the patches I was missing. I finally gave up and have been wearing a hat.
I know it’s not a matter of need to have no visible gray, but come on, we all know how self esteem can be a game changer in ones attitude. My insides tell me I can still be that young and beautifully wild woman I was when I was 20, but my outsides are not cooperating. As someone once said, “time waits for no man”… or woman for that matter.
It may seem funny to think this way, but I’m sort of just wearing my hat and waiting for my eye surgeries, since I’m not able to really see how bad it is anyway. I know I could have a professional do the work for me, but I am both cheap and homebound, having lost my license until I can see the road again.
Please don’t think I am being flippant, in regards to today’s prompt. I simply don’t have anything else that I am putting off doing… except, that is, publishing a book. I believe that might change, as I’m not putting it off, I’m just not done yet…
The woman behind the counter smiled gently at me, as she cleaned her ear piercing tools. My heart was in my throat, it seemed. Getting my ears pierced was the most grown up thing I had ever done by my own choice.
My Nana had bought me a pair of earrings in the shape of bright red apples, but this time the jewelry wasn’t clip on… they were the real thing in the eyes of a 6 year old. My mother told me that I could get my ears done if I chose on my own… no hand holding or cajoling would be forthcoming.
I lay in bed awake the entire night before we embarked on this grown up lady stuff I wanted to take part in. I was terrified, of what I am not sure… but if they could poke me with a vaccination needle whenever they felt like it, and trade me a stupid sucker for my time, then I must be grown up enough to take the needle for a pair of gloriously beautiful red apple earrings. My mind was made up on the matter, so I just lay there and waited for the sun to come up.
I was so terrified of backing down and not being able to wear my new gift… it was in truth, the only thing that kept me on that swinging stool, there in that Bon Marche Department Store. I tucked my feet behind the bar beneath the seat, grabbed the sides of the stool with both hands in a military vice grip and tried to find my happy place.
I apparently had nothing to worry about, because it was over before it had begun! That fast… bang bang… All Done! They were kind enough to do both ears at the same moment, probably in case I backed out half way through the deal. I was so happy and proud of myself that I burst into tears, making the grown ups think I was in pain or shock. Not so!
I WAS A LADY!
So now I will explain the hilarious fall out from my Grown Up Anxiety Filled Sleepless Night… the reality of how most adults handle stress.
As exhausted as I was from no sleep and worry, over my piercing adventure, I never had a moment to catch some zzzzzz’s until that night after we got home. I was so tired that I could barely touch my dinner, and vaguely remember my mom walking me down the hallway to my bedroom……..
…. The rain fell steadily in the darkness, only illuminated by the distant street lamps, flickering occasionally. I was sitting in the passenger seat of our station wagon, while my parents were in a Parent/Teacher Conference up the street. As I waited for them to return, I saw movement not too far down the block, barely visible through the sheets of rain falling across the hood of the car.
I heard her before I saw her… this scary Witch that looked suspiciously like the lady off of the Wizard of Oz, if I am being completely honest. I could hear her laughing wickedly as she slowly materialized out of the darkness. Yup! It had to be that horrible woman who took Toto away from Dorothy. Don’t judge… I have a bucket list of different childhood memories that are triggered by different movies I had in my tiny mind.
Anyway, as the witch steadily approached my car, I frantically checked all the door locks and glanced up at the entrance of the School, hoping I would see my parents walking down the steps toward our car. Nope! As Jack Sparrow says, I was “all by me onesies”!
I crawled down under the dash where I could be hidden from view for the most part, except my feet could still be seen from the passenger door. I heard her approach the car, walk all the way around it dragging her super long witchy fingernails across the metal doors… witches always have super long curvy red nails if you needed a visual.
Then the witch stopped directly in front of the passenger side door where I was crouched down on the floor. All I could see was the tip of her hat, but I could hear what she was doing… she was picking the lock on my door with those awful fingernails. I watched in horror as the little metal door lock popped!
The next thing I knew, I was strapped onto a torture table, in the parking lot underneath the Sprouse Ritz Department Store, and that witch began to tickle me with those long fingernails…
It was torture! I began to laugh and could not stop! I fought to get away, but was strapped down so there was no escape for me… no way out! Except to wake up, but I had been so tired from the night before that it was like crawling through thick Jello to do anything. Never fear though, laughter is here… I laughed so hard that I rolled myself out of the top of our bunkbed and landed with a thump on the floor below. That did the trick!
Isn’t it funny the way we handle stress… often bottling our fears, stuffing them down and hiding them away from judging eyes. I realize that I was just a child and that the dream was probably just a way to release the tension I had been holding for several days over a perceived painful event. There was no real danger or trauma involved in ear piercing, but to a child trying to be a grown up, it most assuredly seemed like there might.
My take away from the whole affair was this… I would for sure think long and hard the next time I wanted to be a grown up!
From then to now, I still often find myself thinking long and hard every time I have to do grown up stuff… I know I should be fine with getting tickled all night in a parking lot, but this girl would rather leave the Witch back at Sprouse Reitz…
I don’t normally plan beyond the day, sometimes even beyond the moment! God and I have come to a place where I simply trust that He knows what needs doing… and when to do it!
It says in the bible that God supplies us with all we need for whatever is asked, so I guess I will just wait for the money to arrive and I am sure He will tell me exactly what to do with it. I would probably just go shopping if I tried to figure out on my own what to do with the money, I am just being honest.
I feel pretty confident that if the money lands on me, then God will fill in the details, and I am ok with that! There is so much need in the world, it would be easy to pick any number of avenues to donate. I could spend my time dreaming of winning money to help others, or I could just help!
With all of the lottery winners out there that are showing us how to give to the poor with their winnings, my confidence lags in regards to how many folks would actually follow through with their answer to this prompt. I am not judging anyone… remember I already stated that I would probably go shopping. I am just wise enough about human nature to know better than to spout poetic about my giving tree ideas.
Besides, we live in an RV… where on earth would I put whatever I bought? If we bought a new RV or a house, then what? Fill it with stuff I can’t take with me when I die? I have always had a love/hate relationship with money… I love it when I have it, and I hate it when I don’t!
Ima just wait here til the check is in the mail, and then let God work out the details. Until then…
Have some Million Dollar Shortbread to hold us over til the money shows…
I gotta stop rubber necking… always circling the same painful mountains of things I can’t undo. It’s a daily battle, even for this woman of Faith. This old way of thinking is so destructive to the getting up off your face and walking on part of life, that so many face.
In the spirit of keeping it real, I felt it important to include a note reminding me to cut myself some slack, and rest on a truth we should all adopt for a healthier self. Let go of past mistakes I can’t change… it’s an unproductive waste of time! What should be more important to me, is what I do with the time I still have left to make a difference in this world.
Note to Self #9
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 13, 14
The song “Lay it Down” by Tasha Layton grabbed my heart as I was writing this article. The words reminded me let go of burdens He is already carrying for me, and the sins He has already forgiven! I hope you take a moment out of your day to have a listen.
I saw this prompt and went straight to candy! I will never forget the part where they toured the factory floor and were shown the Everlasting Gobstopper. It was supposed to be the answer to the worlds hunger problem.
Unfortunately, it never made it to store shelves thanks to dum dum Violet! She ruined it for all of us, in my personal opinion. Had the girl not scoffed a candy before they could finish trouble shooting the side effects, thereby tying Willy up in years of legal red tape, we might be fully fed by now… the whole world! Stupid Violet…
Anyway, I suppose my point here would be, even when what I am doing can be guaranteed not to fail, I still have to contend with Violets… they jump the gun, misuse my creation for nefarious purposes, or just never read the instructions for successful use of the item. We cannot get around human nature, nor the reality of being creatures of habit… no matter the best laid plans, humans can always throw a wrench in the machine.
Therefore, as far as the world goes… aside from the impossible Gobstopper idea, there is only one thing can be done with a guarantee of success. Believing in and walking with God on a daily basis.
Scoff if you like, I care not! I am simply being honest, in that I have only seen to date, ONE who has been able to do something guaranteeing success. Jesus! He knew so fully of his purpose that he walked that dirt path all the way up to that hillside, and voluntarily allowed them to nail his hands and feet on that cross. He knew the plan was flawless, because his father told him so… and what He did brought GUARANTEES OUT THE WAZOO!
To this day, there is a path etched into the world, left for us by Jesus choice to fulfill his fathers plan. I simply cannot top this, even if I were to fulfill Willy Wonka’s dream of the Gobstopper to feed the world. It would be kind of cool, though…
So, I’m sitting in the chair looking at the eye chart across the room on the wall, with that little doohickie in my hand, blocking one eye while I use the other. I do my best to read what I can, and as I look over to my husband I see him chuckling. “What’s so funny”, I asked him. He briefly tells me that some of the letters I was reading off the chart are not actually used on these tests. Letters such as Q and many others apparently confuse the brain. I went to my friend Google and asked what letters were not used. I should have asked which ones were used, because the list is actually quite small. The only letters used are C, D, E, F, L, N, O, P, T and Z. I have been seeing and reading Q’s, along with many other letters on these dumb things for years. How did no one ever mention this part to me, so I could avoid all this confusion?
I learned a great many things during this appointment, aside from my inability to read out loud properly. I have not one Cataract my friends, but I got a twofer… yay me! I was only aware of the problem with my right eye, but I was blessed with one for each eye.
The next question the doctor had for me was, “Did you ever damage your eye before, like an accident maybe?” I answered no, and was immediately taken back in my mind to when I was around 5 or 6 years of age. I had a sudden memory of being propelled into the dash of our car from the back seat… lights flashing, paramedics running everywhere, and then a memory of walking through the curtains in an emergency room from bed to bed looking for my mother and brother. All these years later in an eye exam room, I remembered!
So not only can I not read an eye chart, I apparently have a medical history that I forgot about. Funny how the brain works sometimes.
Anyway, he thinks that there was trauma that makes it look like I have Glaucoma, but not really have it… yet! Not sure about it for the time being, and they will know more when they remove the silly cataracts. They do not know why I developed them so early, as most patients arrive with this issue while in their 60’s and 70’s. I do have deep blue eyes and have spent most of my life out in the sun though, so that may not have helped the situation.
I will say that the idea of having someone put something in my eyeball, while I am watching, does put this vessel into a bit of a tale spin… I do NOT like being touched! Triggers up the wazzoo for this wild child!
I am so grateful that they have this little melt on your tongue thing that makes you not care what they do… and if I want to write anything, I need my eyes… so I am mustering all the courage I got and letting God do the rest. I have a surgeon with a wonderful bedside manner, as well as a very professional way of explaining the process and answering my questions, so God has chosen my path and I will walk in faith to do what must be done for my continued health.
Two things I discovered through this process, aside from not being able to read an eye chart, or remember major events in my past…
The first odd but encouraging thing was, when they dilated my eyes I gained 6 hours of the best vision of my life, as long as I had my glasses on. No clue why, but maybe it had something to do with being able to see around my cataracts better with my pupils wide open… don’t know, don’t care… just loved being able to see things clearly. I did not realize how long it has been.
The second discovery was the fact that my doctor has a great sense of humor, which is something that put both myself and my hubby at ease. I am considering finding a pair of those ridiculous contacts that make your eyes look different. I think I want the ones that make my eye look like a cyborg. I want to hand them to my surgeon as they wheel me in for the procedure…
**Be honest… you know that you would do this in a heartbeat if you thought they would go along with it!**
This girl likes a deal! I go shopping for an item that I want and come home with a whole bag of other stuff… why? It was on sale! Today, I will answer the prompt and give you extra as well… why? As Castle says, “It’s what I do!”
Upon thinking over the years and what my goals and accomplishments might be, I find that I can actually name not just one… not just two… but three goals ladies and Gents… three!
The first goal was my children. I was told not to hope too much for a baby, due to permanent damage done by medications my mother took while pregnant with this girl. I conceived 8 times in my motherhood years, losing all but 3… but it was worth all of the effort, pain and struggle… They are such lovely creatures!
The second was to quit smoking tobacco… I started when I was 11 years old. I smoked for many years, stopping during the years of my childbearing goal. This girl did that part by the book, as they say! Finally, after 40 years I lay my last cigarette down and walked away.
It was one of the most difficult times and yet one of the sweetest. Why? Because God walked with me through the whole process. I was not alone through the night sweats, the headaches, nausea and agitation that comes with withdrawals. For the first time in many attempts at kicking the habit, I kind of just knew it was God removing this burden from my life… I had inner will power that had never been there before. Whatever you want to call it, I call it a Gift from my heavenly father.
The third goal was to write a book! Well, thanks to each and every person who stops by and visits the Lobby, I was able to finish writing my own story, which had been on my heart for many years. You kept coming back week after week to read the next part, so I found myself compelled to finish the painful parts. Thanks for that, by the way.
I always wanted to steal away somewhere quiet and serene and type out a story that maybe, just maybe would help another hurting soul. I never did find that special somewhere to write out my life, but I wrote it out none the less… and now I am diving into my next book! I cannot seem to stop writing, now that I’ve started.
This sort of stuff is what God can do, for me anyways. Not one of these goals could ever have been accomplished on my own, not my babies, my strength to kick the habit, or my ability to write. Every thread of my life belongs in His tapestry by his hand, not mine! There is so much power in surrender…
Maybe that got a bit heavy there for a minute so lets lighten the day back up with a treat.
Normally, I don’t give one named answers to these sort of inquiries, as I am not one to swoon over any particular artist verses another… I simply don’t think on it all that much.
However… if I were given no choice but to answer, well then, I choose Julie Andrews hands down!
I could give you a full list of all that the woman has accomplished, but I don’t intend to do so, because it would take me all day to look them all up and give you a rundown of each one . I will stick to my favorite of all favorites… The Sound of Music!
I’ll begin by saying that she made it look easy to raise that many kids at once, like she did in this movie. Maria could sing, she could dance, sew, tell bedtime stories, give young love advice, and hike! She was a trailblazer over those alps. A woman after my own heart!
When Julie Andrews sings, we can honestly say it seems like she is telling a story… like we do when we write. I raised my girls singing about raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens…
Julie brought Maria Von Trapp alive for millions of people, and I personally think this ability is what makes an Artist really great! I’ll bet she had you wanting to dance across that mountain field like she did, with a guitar in your hand. I know that I did!
I will tell you right now, it was that movie that gave me the idea to make my kids own clothes, so I taught myself how to sew and created my own design for the kids pajamas, rice filled teddy bears for colds and flus, and even a pull over fleece dog jacket for our furry family members. I suppose she gave me some creative inspiration.
Anyway, Julie Andrews is my pick for a fav, but let this not reflect poorly on any other artist out there… aren’t we all artists of one make or another?
Have a cup of tea… I am nervous over my eye appointment this morning so I am not hungry… besides, I don’t know about all you but all the sweets lately are making my teeth hurt, so for today it is simply tea. I have an assortment of flavors for you to pick from, so take your time and find your favorite flavor… mine is peppermint.
Today, I am experiencing failing eyes two fold… both my actual eyesight and my vision of the short term future are a bit cloudy at the moment.
The first eyesight cloudiness comes from having my eyes dilated by an Eye Surgeon. It’s time to figure out why my right eye is not working right… maybe I will be like Jamie Sommers in the Bionic Woman and get a high powered telescope eye.
The second eyesight cloudiness comes from thinking I could become Miss Mary Puppins for my daughter, full time! I have the perfect bag too! I could have made a special music video called sPOOPercaliFIDOLICKSYOUexpialiDOGSious! Funny, right?
Don’t worry, my daughter and I are still working towards a better relationship, just not the one where she has to drive to pick me up the night before, after working all day, only to bring me home the next evening after work as well. What can I say, she is a smart girl! It only took one time of trying our hairbrained idea, for her to decide that the puppy would be just fine with all the other flurbies there for company.
So, as I head off to get my eyes blinded for the day, I leave you with something fun I taped from last weeks babysitting adventure…
Journey With Me! 