What are your favorite websites?
I may have enjoyed Charlottes Web, and I may even play video games with great dark caves covered in the sticky stuff… but I am no fan of any website!
I have had too many incidences with the little heathens to want to visit their sites.
Doubt
I read somewhere that doubts were like little fears trying to come to life, or something like that. It makes sense if you think about it for a moment.
I guess when I have doubts about my writing ability, that can be seen as the same thing as fear of failure or rejection.
When I have doubts that we will ever get beyond one step above homelessness, isn’t that the same thing as fearing God will let me down… that He’s forgotten me, or simply left me here?
Some call it doubt, some call it fear, and most often, you’ll hear me call it a Rabbit Hole.
Whatever we choose to call it, we all face obstacles that can cause us to doubt ourselves, and our fear of failing to overcome sends us down all sorts of rabbit holes to try and wriggle out of things.
I think the bottom line is whether we have enough faith, or maybe enough courage, and/or enough inner fortitude to rise above the things we face.
I think it is a good idea to regularly remind myself to do some self-checks of who and what I am… to God, to others, but very importantly, to myself! If I don’t believe that I am valuable and worthy of love, how can I believe that God feels that way about this daughter of His? Does that make sense? If I don’t I am worthy enough to serve God, it makes it very difficult for me to step out in faith when He asks it of me, because I get too caught up in doubt.
So, for a healthy reminder to regularly sweep out my doubt closet, Note To Self #12 is from one of my favorite authors…
“We are what we believe we are”. C.S. Lewis
Just to make sure I have brought my point across about doubt and about believing in ourselves, I’ve included a song by Lauren Daigle called You Say. I hope to leave you with a reminder for those who need it…
God Bless you WordPress, for giving out a prompt that brought me right to this picture only moments after reading the question.
Without a doubt, if I could go back and relive any time in my past, it would be my Baby Days…
What I would give to go back and experience, once again, those times of bonding, nursing, caring for, and watching those first milestones of my baby girls.
It was the first two years of each baby that I wish I could bottle and save within an old worn Hope Chest. I always wanted one at the end of my bed, but it would need to be an old worn one, and not a newly made piece. It should look like it had seen some battles and tough times, but withstood it all just to sit and hold my treasures.
On rainy days I could sit and go back through all my favorite memories that were stashed away for safe keeping. Special baby blankets I had made while waiting for each of my girls birth, their first pair of baby booties, and even favorite first books or teething rings with chew marks still visible. All I have now is a blue plastic tote with the few remnants salvaged from things… it works!
If it were possible I would go back to a time when my babies needed me, loved everything about me, and couldn’t stand to be parted from my breast.
I know deep down in their hearts, my daughters love me… they just don’t really want or need me anymore… it is what it is… I get it!
That was why I wrote all of those Do You Remember letters… one day they will want to look back and remember… one day, and for that day I will trust in God.
Until we meet again, they and I, there will always be those Baby Days…
I find it amazing that even to this day, leopards have spots… they are born with them, just like they were in history long ago… spots are still there… fascinating!
While I am sure there are a great many fascinating things in our worlds history, there are a good number of fascinating things in our current history…
One of which is the fact that WordPress still seems unable to correct the issue of the prompt question disappearing.
Two of which is the fact that we just had a question that asked if what historical events we remembered. I noticed a very somber atmosphere the entire day out on the feed. We are all pretty friggin miserable with the way of things in our world right now… forget about rehashing historical blunders and kerfuffles, and not too many seemed overly eager to dive in and answer that prompt.
The word Fascinating can be interpreted loosely in the heart of a man… it just depends upon which man is looking at the history!
Thirdly, I find it rather sobering that even today, we really don’t change… not really. Maybe on the surface we act as if we have risen above our own ignorance of mind or heart… but inside, it is easy to hide things that linger… like hatred, jealousy, deceit, malice. Similar to a leopard, I think we will always keep our spots… they just blend in neatly beneath our fur!
WordPress could do better for us all perhaps, if they posed the prompt question as, “What historical events did we as humanity learn from and change for the better”? Maybe lead with that next time…
Here, have a cookie shaped like a Blueberry Muffin…
Dear husband of mine…
I salute you!
For all the work that you do, to keep us safe, fed, and above ground…
I shout out my salute to you sir!
A myriad of things you do for me, there are…
I could fill a book with them!
So distant is the memory of my youth, and though my beauty from that day of our vows may have faded…
Your devotion and desire for me has only grown stronger!
I salute you for all the love you shower me with…
and for being my strength, when mine is waning!
To all of the good men out there, who exemplify a full half of a whole love…
We other halves SALUTE YOU!!!!!!
While WordPress still seems unable to fix the missing prompt question issue, I will press on with the answer issue…
One would think that being able to give a simple sincere “I’m Sorry”, would be easy peezy! Not nowadays!
When I was growing up, I learned through grown ups and public school, how I was supposed to apologize when I gave offense. Just say you are sorry and try not to repeat the negative behavior.
Gone are those days, I fear…
Now, when someone offends another, they make every effort to give an extensive excuse as to why they did or said whatever it was that was so bad, and push the blame onto another… most often the one who was offended!
If anything comes out of our mouth after the words “I’m Sorry”, often it reflects that we are not really sorry for the offense, but rather, sorry that we have to say we are sorry… if you get my drift.
It would be so refreshing if we could begin, once again, teaching our children to just say I’m sorry when they err in some way. If they can see that making mistakes is human, and no one is perfect… perhaps they would grow up in a society where they can take ownership of their own actions… the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Kids do as kids see… they watch, observe, and then emulate the behavior to see if they get the same outcome… practice practice practice!
Where do you think most learn the art of CYA or Cover Your Ass behavior? Grown Ups!
We grown adults need to step up and make a better effort to instill the things our young ones need to survive this life. When it comes to teaching the art of “I’m Sorry”, we simply have to practice it… in front of our kids! There is absolutely nothing better to do, as a grown adult parent, than to say we’re sorry when we mess up with our kids… show them that we too mess up, and can be brave enough to admit our error.
It’s just a thought…
Here, have a cookie…
Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in.
Come on, you know you want to do one better than that…
The heart of a child…
While I cannot say I wish to think back on my own childhood to answer this prompt, I will refer to my own children when they were little, as those are much happier examples.
One of the best things about being a child at heart, I think, is the ability to have such a vivid imagination… about everything… they were so gullible!
I had more fun playing tricks and practical jokes on my girls… hey, don’t judge! As a parent, we come to understand very early on that the job is a thankless one, and any form of good hearted fun that brings us pleasure, is worth the effort!
I did everything from planting fake Magic Christmas trees, to get them to clean their rooms, to convincing my youngest daughter that if she stood in front of the Christmas tree and sang “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”, she would get a very special visit from both Santa Mouse AND the Tooth Fairy… she actually sang it like three or four times before going to bed just to make sure she had done enough. When they got up the next morning to open stockings, there was a small ribbon on the front of the tree, and when she pulled it, a whole string of tiny toys and treats emerged from within the branches of the tree, where I had stashed them.
Priceless!!!
I guess that’s the sort of stuff that came to mind when I saw the prompt. It’ll have to do…
Have a cookie…
You’ll have to bake em real quick… and add your own m&ms… it was too early for all that effort, as I would rather just sit her and sip my coffee while giggling about the time we made the kids believe that the Easter Bunny had been in the house while we slept.
Well, as they say, there is a first for everything, and folks, I think I might just have found one of my first.
I will take things one day at a time as they come, but as far as I see from my first appointment with this new specialist, I’m not crazy and there is for sure something going on. Beyond acknowledging there being a problem, there is not much we know, as of yet. But this doctor seems ready to tackle things, and has begun tests for some better answers. That is more than anyone has ever been willing to try yet. If he is up to the task, then I am too.
One of the things he may have discovered, oddly enough, is a growth up under my armpit. He believes it to be a Lipoma or fatty tumor resting on the area that gets blood and circulation to my arm… which I find hilarious.
I am sort of smallish, as I walk 6 miles on a trail most days… and they’re telling me that I have managed to somehow stash a pocket of fat somewhere? How absurd! You mean to tell me that I have been shoving tons of calories in this body to keep up with my walking and my own body was holding out on me? I could have used that fat on several occasions, thank you very much!
Anyway, I guess there are multiple things going on within this body, and it will take a bit of work to figure things out, but I am actually fine with this… at least someone believes me when I say that I am in pain… constantly… have been for as long as I can remember. I am unable to take any form of pain management any longer, as too many years of differing drugs did their damage.
Due to all the years of stuff and things, I am no longer able to take any medications via my stomach… she’s shot! Somewhere about two years ago, I had to sit down and have a serious heart to heart conversation with both my roommates… IBS and Fibro. We had to make the desperate and risky decision to cut out all modern medicine… cold turkey, though I would not suggest this for anyone, as I nearly died doing it this way.
In approximately six months time, I lost over 100 lbs, nearly all my hair fell out, and I slept nearly 16 hours a day, having lost any desire to get out of bed at all. It was nothing out of the usual for me to go weeks at a time without ever bothering to shower. I lay in bed watching rerun after rerun of Forensic Files of all things. Those days were dark indeed!
Looking back on that time seems like a bad dream of someone else’s horrible life, but it was only me on a desperate journey of survival. Through the Grace of God alone folks, did I make it here today.
With all the ugly of those days, slowly fading away into distant memories, I will once again seek medical help, diligently making efforts to have a bit of faith… maybe not in people yet, but in God’s ability to make a way where there once was none.
While I am still of a mind to trust no one in the human kindness department, I am aware that they are still out there, and I trust God so that’s a start, right?!
I have a toilet needs fixing, a car that won’t run, and currently no heat… so I am feeling pretty practical at the moment.
I am being fully serious, as a matter of fact, because I have a hard time dealing with an imaginary friend, when my toilet isn’t working well… this is not the Four Seasons we’re running here, it’s an RV!
Besides, there really isn’t anything that a Genie can do to really fix anything. Haven’t we all seen enough movies about these guys to know that it always ends up messy. What we thought we wanted didn’t end up with the ending we had first imagined.
You know I will end up talking about Jesus here… this IS me we are talking about. I will just say that He is the only one I have ever had the opportunity to read or hear about that did wondrous things… water into wine, feeding the five thousand, healing the sick, and bringing the dead back to life… it is hard for me to take anyone else serious in the magic department.
I am now preparing to get up and do the Blanket Burrito Shuffle over to my very magic bean processor and enjoy some very magic coffee, so I will share some… along with some warm accoutrements for us all to enjoy on this brisk Tuesday Mornin…
Yes I have an imaginary Houseman that pours me coffee every morning… aren’t you jealous?
Journey With Me! 