Through the years I have always enjoyed walks during the fall, in part from the cooler temps, but also for the glorious colors being displayed as the trees go to sleep for winter.
While I may have captured something beautiful in this shot, I am unable to determine if this picture even captured half of what it should… I miss having visual clarity!
Next week begins my journey to restore that which was lost somewhere along the way during the last few years. I am looking forward to reading and writing clearly, yes, but my deeper hope is that vivid colors return to my sight… I miss them!
Looking at this drab photo from yesterdays wonderful walk through the park, I am greatly anticipating the return of visual clarity and FOCUS!
Beginning next week, there will be 15 days of Audio Reruns of this and that, while I undergo my surgeries and recovery. Keep an eye out for daily posts titled, Seeing Eye to Eye, as I will be keeping you up to date as things move forward through this time. It may or may not be much depending on how I feel and such, but I have heard many say that it’s easy. Perhaps, but I decided to plan ahead either way.
The 12th of December is my birthday and this is what I am considering my present to myself… the bravery to let someone poke me in the eyes to SEE if it makes me SEE better…
Here we are already at the beginning of Thanksgiving Week… how crazy is that?! Time goes by faster and faster with each passing year of our lives and I’m torn as to whether this is a good thing or bad. Growing up I remember always hoping time would speed up, and now I find myself screaming SLOW DOWN depending on the day! But… we all know that time will not wait for little ole me to catch up.
With that being said, sometimes I just don’t want to care… like with my favorite Holidays, which happen be both Thanksgiving and Christmas! Back in the day I would put up the tree during Turkey Time and leave it up till the new year. I’ll be honest in saying that I did this, in part, because I was lazy and liked to wait until the very last traditional second to put things away. Nowadays, here in the RV, there is no room at the Inn, as they say, so I wouldn’t have a clue as to where the tree might even fit. Plus there’s no one here to do it for… the kids are all gone now so it’s just me and the hubby during the holidays.
With that being said, I still love celebrating on these occasions so that was why I decided on a Virtual Holiday Season this year. A major part of a good attitude grows out of the power of intention, in my opinion, so I Intend to experience the upcoming celebrations with a joyful heart.
My hope is that when I post on Thanksgiving Day, the comment section will begin filling up with some Christmas Virtual Wish Lists… yup! Let’s fake it til we make it this season! You can put whatever you want on your list and need only give 4 or 5 of your favorite things and leave the rest to this Virtual Santa’s Helper… I know it’s not real, but isn’t it all about the thought that’s actually supposed to count?! I will be posting all the gifts for each of you on Christmas Morning… and if you don’t leave a list, I will be forced to get really creative, which may or may not be a good thing.
My Truths has a new episode up in the lobby for those interested.
Saturday and Sunday continue with both Note To Self and Live Wire, and remember to stick around for the potluck on Sunday… our theme is Lazy Leftovers so shout out some of your favorite reheated Turkey Day dishes.
I used to be a photographer… maybe you didn’t know that part.
What is it about flowers?
Color maybe… shape perhaps… smell could be a part of it too.
My guess is that the combination of all three reasons may be what attracts me to flowers.. but I think there’s more to it.
Take the photo above, for instance. See how each bud looks a bit different from their neighbors? I am completely fascinated with how God can design such a vast number of things in our world, and still take such care with the tiniest of individual details… sort of like humans.
One of my dreams, after my eyes get fixed this month, is to save up and buy another Nikon. Maybe I’ll head for the hills like I did when I was in my prime… wandering for hours, clicking shots that bring a lasting record of things I find beautiful. I realize that time has moved forward, slowing me down a good bit. So! I also recognize the less than steady hands I know use to point and click, as they say. I still don’t care!
If they can take something like a camera and build it faster, lighter, and stronger… then I want to be like Steve Austin in the Million Dollar Man with bionic eye implants. While they’re at it, I wish for them to add better arms and legs… why not?
What if we were able to have a camera built right into our eyes… then we could literally capture the perfect angle and light just by winking, blinking or even crossing our eyes… just saying…
As I was reading further into the book of Exodus this week, continuing to follow the journey of Moses and the Israelites, a strange thought occurred to this inquisitive mind. If the old adage “It takes a village” still holds true, like I believe that it does… the next question one might ask themselves is “Who raised the village that it took to raise the one that the village raised?”
I know that I am not alone in this place of curiousity… how else do you think those DNA mail in companies became so popular? Why else would we care who and where we came from? How often do we wonder why we look the way we do, why we have mannerisms that we have, and/or why we were raised the way we were raised? Some are raised deeply rooted in traditions handed down from earlier generations, while others grew up without anything familiar from their earliest memories.
The Israelites memories and belief systems were set from generations earlier… beginning with Gods’ covenant with Abraham, again later with Isaac and Jacob, and resting with Joseph when he entered Pharaohs court as a young man. The Egyptians carried generations steeped with their own traditions, blending some of the Israelites traditions with their own through years of coexisting. When Moses was born, it was as if he was placed in a foster home. He must have been exposed to the most confusing of upbringings, in my opinion. Growing up in the foster care system, all I remember was feeling like I was to go where they sent me to school, attend whatever church that particular family went to, if any, and sleep in whatever room had been made available for guests.
While I don’t necessarily believe that Moses upbringing was as harsh as mine, I believe we both grew up very confused.
I am guessing that played a large part in the amount of time it was before Moses returned to Egypt, to represent the God of his forefathers. In essence, I think Moses became like an adopted son of sorts, being raised up, cared for, and prepared for a purpose he was born to fulfill… beginning right there at that burning bush I mentioned in the previous episode.
I’ve only just gotten through all the 10 plagues, and the departure of the very large village Moses found himself responsible to lead and teach. They only just arrived at the Red Sea and had already accused Moses and GOD, of leading them to their deaths. The only traditions these people had gotten settled into was bondage, so they didn’t get far before their faith ran out. This got me to wondering how long a tradition has to be in place before it can be considered a solid tradition. All this village knew how to do was survive… living had become nonexistent to them.
From there I asked myself how long it actually took for the plagues to run through, as well as the leaving part. History seems to show a lot happening in a relatively short period of time. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must have been, to experience something so life altering during those days and weeks. On the heels of 10 major plagues ravaging the land, the village was then instructed to pack up their families, livestock and belongings, and wander off into the desert. Logistically, it must have been a nightmare to organize a village of this size. Did you know that there were over 600,000 men… not including their wives and children. Nothing about this many people is going to move easily nor quickly. Don’t forget that the Israelites had also been instructed by God to plunder the Egyptians (Exodus 12:36). Personally, I would break out in hives at the thought of taking someone’s stuff and leaving town.
At this point I am getting a clearer picture of the state of mind this village was in by the time they pulled out of the station in Egypt.
I get the feeling that it took God some years in the desert with Moses, just to undo all of the damage caused by the wrong Village. God then worked in and through Moses to free a village that would need to do a lot of growing up before arriving at the land God intended to give the Israelites.
God is the ultimate example of a parent caring for and teaching their child. As parents, you and I have no intention of handing our 5 year old the car keys, leaving them to simply have a go at it! In the same sense, God had no intention of handing over a land flowing with milk and honey to a bunch of scarred, scared, and far from spiritual children… so to speak. While I’ve not read the passages ahead yet, I am already privy to the 40 year time period of wandering that was in store for the children of Israel. Based on my own life, it took 40 years from the time I divorced my parents and became a Voluntary Ward of the State, to where you find me today. When I broke free from that bondage, had God just handed me the keys to freedom and said, “There ya go”… I wouldn’t be alive today!
If I can leave you with anything today, it would be a reminder that just as God used Moses back then to raise a village, He works through you and I today, to stand in the gap for some pretty broken villages. There are so many children of God still living in bondage to something, and whether or not I feel capable on my own, my desire is to be a part of God’s plan and purpose… His village!
Christ our King by Village Lights will be the song I wish to leave you with, and I have no clear reason why… sometimes it’s not about me, but someone else may need this so I will leave it at that… I love you guys.
With coffee on board I begin my day… but wait… it’s Saturday!
Once this sinks in, everything I thought I needed to get done gets sent directly to MONDAY!
Work gets sidelined but Coffee STAYS…
Whether I feel like walking or not, has now turned into finding an excuse to play hooky and stay in my jammies.
Here is also where I make the crucial decision about food for the rest of the day… do I pull something out of the freezer and plan ahead? Nah… burritos in the microwave for lunch, chips and dip for dinner, and leftover Key lime Pie for dessert, it is! Don’t judge… there is meat and cheese in the burrito, milk in the dip, potato in the chips, and fruit in the Key Lime pie!
Why would I make such choices for myself, you may be asking yourself? Because I can… I’m a grown up… I make big girl decisions every other day of the week… today is GAME day!
On this day I most likely will not be answering my phone, OR walking… nor will I attempt to be grown up or make big girl decisions. Instead I will be adventuring with my cat Brodie, saving poor villagers, plundering all the bad guys chests full of goodies, and buying pretty outfits off the marketplace with my fake riches… it’s satisfying!
Somewhere near the middle of the day my brother-in-law and niece join my hubby and I in a chat room, and in the game. It’s family time that works in our case.
On into the night… through burritos, bad guys, and treasure chests filled with Key Lime Pie we adventure…
Sometimes, after playing all day I will go to bed for the night and dream of either harvesting trees or hunting turkeys for the current events running in the game.
The point is, I take one day a week where I shut everything from the world out and let my heart, mind, and soul simply rest.
Society has spent countless hours, dollars, and time to create a way to recharge actual batteries. It makes them last longer and is useful in saving our ecosystem, our pocketbooks and our energy.
I am doing the same thing but poor man style… I am gonna last longer, my ecosystem will be safe, and while I don’t have any pocketbook to save, I will definitely have more energy…
There is so much freedom in faith, especially in the hard times, which seems so backwards to most. When falling, our first response is to reach out and right ourselves within our own strength… only reaching for help out of desperation, when our own efforts have failed. From birth we display this independent behavior, hence the creation of things like bumper guards for cribs, car seats, and locking mechanisms for all doors, drawers, and cabinets. A baby will roll, grab, and grasp anything with no thought to the hows, the whys, or the safeties involved. We parents world revolves around guarding and guiding until that child is capable of independence.
Being a human while discovering our strengths and weaknesses is almost cheating compared to the natural world. When I imagined the life of a baby bird, it is precarious at best… one wrong move and the earth will display its unforgiving nature! Those two parents do everything in their power to hover, protect and care for those chicks, but at some point the babes have to take a big leap of faith while taking their first flight. The parents stayed til the chicks took flight. Those babies trusted enough to fly from watching their parents do it, possibly. If anything happened to the parents, the chicks were doomed.
Wait a moment… maybe we are not so different after all.
It is so beautiful in scripture, how God often uses nature to reflect truths in a way my mind can understand. Many times in scripture, birds are written about… from the doves in the ark, to the sparrow of the field. When David described Gods overwhelming love for us to that of a bird, I suppose it stuck in my mind that He is the author of my faith, my source of freedom.
So I decided to place this scripture as my Note To Self #14
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4
However we choose to envision Him, God is actively working nonstop for our benefit. I might see His wings in my minds eye, but another may see something completely different. The point is that we see and feel Him in our lives, because He is faithful to the end. The song God You Are by We Are Messengers, was fitting for today I thought. I hope you take a moment to listen.
From here on out, my friends, I shall be taking Brutus offline so as to preserve the environment I am attempting to create. Writing an actual Novel will take every ounce of my literary skills, something in which I’ve no experience in doing. So, in order for this dream to come to fruition, I have a great amount of learning to do.
I figured that I could use Fridays to keep you posted as to my progress in writing, developing, editing, packaging and finally publishing something I believe will be worth the reading.
My hat goes off to all the authors out there who had the tenacity to keep at it, never letting go of their dream… this stuff is not for sissies! I have never felt so passionate about something that I feel so ill equipped to tackle.
I wish to share my journey with you, as the writing has been forthcoming, due to your encouragement along the way. I don’t wish to lose this time with you guys. Who knows, maybe one of you are doing the same thing and might be encouraged by what I share here. Either way, I am compelled to proceed with this dream I have, in hopes that I can bring this story to life…
I choose my local park, hands down, as my favorite place!
While I’m sure the local squirrels love anyone who gives them peanuts, I choose to believe that they love mine the best. Due to my absolute love and fascination of these small ones, my husband has now moved to buying Biggie size bags of peanuts… it has become my mission to ensure full tummies and fluffy tails through the cold months.
Most days you will find me walking along the path with a string of boisterous chatterboxes darting between my feet. These little ones show no fear whatsoever… only excited anticipation of the treats they know to be forthcoming.
I’ve become so fond of these fluffy characters, stories began to form in my mind of their miniature world. In a way, a squirrel’s life is much less complicated than a humans… but is it really? In other ways, the life of these tiny creatures is far more harsh than ours is… but is it really? Writing stories for squirrels using human nature as the reality of their social structure is rather easy.
The park is massive, holding 4 large sports fields used in the warmer months, a large Tennis court that keeps busy nearly all year long, and multiple trails running through several playgrounds and down all along the White River. For a smaller community, this park gets a great amount of use, and a great amount of care. The city puts forth a great amount of effort to maintain and care for this place and that makes my heart happy.
Living in a house with wheels means that we may not always be in this particular location, in close proximity to such a beautiful and peaceful place. For me, the beauty and peace are not limited to just one place… no matter where our wheels come to rest, God always gives me a park and/or a trail to walk… always! Here’s the tricky part… I have to be looking.
It’s rather funny that I’ve known about this park for years and never walked it’s paths. I lived in this very same city over 10 years ago… not 5 blocks from where we are at the moment, never once walking beneath it’s trees. I wasn’t looking… but I am now! In a way I suppose that God has used this park, and these creatures to work part of His healing in my wounded spirit. This is a wonderful part of nature that draws me to return time and again… I see my Fathers hand everywhere my eyes look. From the smell of the earth, to the sounds of the world around me… from the antics of the squirrels to the laughter of the children playing… From the warmth of the sunshine to the bitter cold of winter… I see His hand in all of it.
Long story short, the local park is my Jam…
Here, have a cookie…
These were gifted to us by Acorn Valley’s most talented royal Chef, Rollina MutterNut.
Fall has always been my favorite time of year with all the changing colors, cooling temperatures, and cozy nights in bed listening to the rain dance across the roof above our heads.
Sweaters, fuzzy blankets, and wooly socks are my go to, so it isn’t so easy trying to live like that during the warmer months of the year… Fall is my jam!
This time of the year all the way through til spring is my prime for trail time… hey, that rhymed!
All of my life has been a kind of roughing it lifestyle… I acclimated to living outdoors in the darkened streets, at the tender age of eleven… I was born for running in every sense of the word.
As time rolled forward, I developed into an adult with the same inclinations as that runner of my childhood years… fast and light… able to bolt with lightening speed!
Fast and light…
Running fast and light…
Walking fast and light…
Walking light…
and now just walking!
This year is a bit rough for these running, walking legs… the cold, it seems, is much less forgiving nowadays. Not just the weather temps, but my own body is rebelling against this seasons trail time. Don’t worry… it won’t stop this traveler… but it has forced me to slow a bit and exercise more caution. Get it?! Exercise… oh well, if I have to explain it, then it probably wasn’t as funny as I thought it was.
Anyway, yesterday I had to laugh at myself while considering the changes life has brought about for this body. As I was walking out on the trail, I did some self assessing of things like my gait, where my feet were making contact with the ground, and my actual walking posture… all of which greatly impact how my fibromyalgia will repay me later in the day. I’m not sure how long it has been since I did this last, but things are different lately.
Whatever happened in my back several years ago has come full circle back to the source of the injury, and as I have refused to stop walking, my body has apparently made its own changes to accommodate. Never fear though… we all know that I am currently getting things figured out about the injury. However, in the mean time I will have to adjust my regime to avoid exacerbating the situation. I decided this yesterday after a walk that began with me walking like the holy woman of God that I am, graceful and smooth… to the swagger of a 14 year old gangster wanna be, nearly dragging my left leg along like a one legged pirate!
These shoes were apparently made for walking, but not 6 miles a day… and not at the speed of a 20 year old marathon runner. In an attempt to preserve what remains of my hip sockets, I am officially standing down! It is time to take more days off, walk a bit slower and not so far all the time, and show myself some grace… I think it’s only fair, don’t you? 54 years of running has earned this girl some chair time… not too much mind you… but just enough.
It would be nice to say that I have great acting skills, able to reflect whomever I wish to the world passing me by… but I’m a lousy actor!
It would be nice to say that I am elegant and demure, able to sashay through a room and leave the men breathless and the woman envious… but though I clean up pretty nice, I am an expert at fading into a crowd!
It would also be very nice to say that I am fully skilled at being the life of the party, with everyone flocking around me to listen with rapt attention to all my jokes and musings… but while I most certainly will make your party loud and funny at times, I’m actually a bit much for folks!
The truth of things is… after 54 years of me… I am trying to leave an impression of something better, someone more worthy of remembering… God!
I don’t much care if you laugh or scoff when I speak of my heavenly Father… there are a great many regrets I have, a good number of failures and mistakes that I’ve made, but my belief in God will never be one of them…
If someone became annoyed or impatient with you for always talking about your parents, you might think them absurd or maybe an insensitive boob… why? Because you love and respect your parents… they raised and cared for you… when you succeed, they are always there to cheer for you… they were there for you when no one else was… this is what parents SHOULD be for us!
My earthly parents failed me early on, resulting in an 11 year old runaway, standing on the side of that old darkened highway, all those years ago. Looking back now, I clearly see the one who WAS there… GOD! He has watched over me, raised and cared for me… He was there to cheer me on when I succeeded… when I failed and found myself out in the cold with no one to hold out a hand, He was there… He picked me up… He set my feet back on the path… and GOD and GOD alone filled my cup to overflowing with grace and mercy, love and forgiveness, and the will to try again!
My hope and prayer is that you see HIM! My dad! He has raised me to be the woman I am today, and I am certain that I make Him proud… I’m certain because, like any good parent, He tells me so every single day! I hope that I can reflect my Dad, my best friend… and most assuredly, The Author of My Faith!
Journey With Me! 