Unfortunately, I have been battling a headache since yesterday, and my fibromayalgia has been hammering me all night. As much as I want to write today, I’m just not able to focus.
I apologize, but this girl has to bow out today, guys.
No, I don’t mean break the law! I mean break down this wordy daily prompt question… cause I’m not sure I can even come up with a worthy answer.
I feel like I have entered into a Dr. Seuss style inquiry… I mean, come on! Firstly, one has to consider how much power needed to even effectively attempt a change. Am I the only one to fully realize that if you were not born into the life of groomed and planned political life, there isn’t much power available left for changing anything, aside from a bad lightbulb.
Secondly, haven’t we already learned about cause and effect, enough to understand what has to go into choosing, changing, and putting into effect, any one singular law? If we haven’t even been able to brave the idea of going back and changing our own past, for fear of how it might effect the present or even the future… why do we think it would be any easier to choose a law to overturn and rewrite for the masses?
Thirdly, asking any one person why they would choose one thing over another, is so open to any manner of reasonings as to their motives for change. It comes down to the individuals perspective, sometimes healthy and sound, while at other times very judgmental and destructive. If the saying goes that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then it stands to reason that so to is ugliness and self preservation. This why stuff can be a good thing when seeking understanding of something, to a point, but then can become somewhat of a slippery slope.
I am a child of God, following one set of laws… HIS! There is no need for change here, and as the bible instructs, we are to honor our Government, out of reverence for God… not man. Because of this, I find myself unable to answer the prompt with any one specific law to change. Even Thomas Jefferson was adamant about not mixing matters of Church and State. See, I don’t ONLY read the Bible!
Here, have a cookie…
Squagon insisted that we start handing out the chocolate hearts… right now!
Last week, when he asked me about the meaning of Valentines Day, I made the mistake of telling him that humans use this day to show each other love by sharing chocolate hearts and love notes. He spent all weekend madly making crayon kiss marks all over the bag of peanuts used for the squirrels at our local park. He begged me to find some chocolate hearts to hand out, but I then had to explain to him about how chocolate was not good for the wildlife. He seemed fine with this… I thought!
I woke up this morning to find Squagon in a panic! There had been a bag of animal friendly chocolate hearts I’d hidden beneath a bale of hay, to share with my barnyard babies on the big day… and my small friend had somehow discovered it.
Apparently, in his rush to open the bag he’d found, the bag tore in half, sending chocolate hearts flying all over the barnyard. The babies went nuts, devouring many of the hearts before they ever hit the ground. By the time I walked out of the barn, there were babies sprawled out in every direction, snoring contentedly, with full bellies and chocolate smudges all over their adorable faces.
In the middle of the mess stood Squagon, looking as if he had committed some heinous crime. Head bowed low, shoulders slumped in shame, my little romantic stood holding a lone chocolate heart, still neatly wrapped up tight in its packaging. When I bent down in front of him, Squagon offered me the tiny red gift… and promptly burst into tears!
My tiny Casanova told the story of how he’d found the candy and simply tried to open the bag, to retrieve one of the tiny hearts inside for this mornings post. He pulled out what looked like an attempt at a love note, though it now was so covered in chocolate smudge marks that I could not read the name of the recipient. Things had gone horribly wrong, somehow, and now the barnyard was a mess, the chocolate was pretty much all gone, and he knew it had been all his fault!
I scooped the little guy up in my lap, gave him a comforting nose boop, and handed him a tissue for his tears. I told him about a similar time, in my own distant past, when I tried opening a family size bag of Peanut M&M’s for my kids and the bag split, sending candy across the entire kitchen. It happens!
As it also happens, I had purposely put the bag of candy that Squagon found, underneath that bale of hay. I thought it might be fun to see how long it would take the babies to find the goodies, but now I felt bad, as I’d no idea this would happen. Now I felt badly!
Squagon begged me to give the last chocolate heart to you guys, as he felt that it was the only right thing to do, in this situation. Tearfully, he offered me the candy, looking so downtrodden as he turned to climb down off my lap.
Hang on, I said, it so happens that I have hidden three bags of sweeties in the barnyard. You just didn’t find the others yet, so let us tidy up the mess in the yard, as the babes are snoozing… it won’t take much. Then I’ll show you where the other bags are hidden, so that you can take everyone on a hunt for them later… those candies can be handed out for gifts.
It didn’t actually take that long to clean up the wrappers, and no barnyard babies were harmed in the eating frenzy that occurred here… Dinky and I will both swear to this!
Though I feel that you have already been shown ideas of my dream home, I did try to come up with some clearer visions for you to enjoy.
While I enjoy the look of a shingled roof, I decided that I much prefer thatch, or even moss. I think it blends into the forest a bit more naturally.
As much as I liked the little creature sitting near the porch, it seemed too lonely for my liking, so back to the drawing board I went.
After all my efforts to add more creatures into this dream home, I was now faced with having a house too small to fit everyone, because… duh… they would obviously be staying with me inside, as I’m not barbarian that would make them sleep out in the cold.
After all that effort to come up with a great answer to the daily prompt, I have simply gone back to my favorite place…
If a thing’s not broken, why try to fix it? You’ll find me in the barn…
I don’t even have to make you cookies today, as the babies have made you popcorn!
Well, I’ve finally left the book of Leviticus, after what seemed like chapter after chapter of lists and rules… and the Israelites hadn’t even left Mt. Sanai yet! All my life of reading the bible, I will admit that I often perused over the tops of most of the chapters that only seemed to offer who begot whom, or what not to do if you want to please God. I know what a loving God I belong to, but most of Exodus and Leviticus seemed to be filled with information about a very angry God systematically thumbing the Israelites faces into the dirt. It seemed awfully harsh of God, to drag over a million plus people, raised in bondage for over 400 years, out into the middle of the desert for some hardcore basic training… maybe it was.
Then again, 400 or plus years of bad habits can be hard to undo!
If you remember, I mentioned when I began this read through of the bible, I’d be reading it slower and more thoroughly this time. No more relying on movies or plays that depict what the people of Israel endured in that time. If you didn’t remember… well, now you are reminded. If it says in 2 Timothy 3:16 that ALL scripture is God breathed, then I want to fully read and open myself to the full package!
While I do spend a portion of my study, checking different biblical and educational sites to gather more context, and the like… one actually can find most answers from different places within the Bible, itself. Often times, you will find me reading from multiple places within the word, during a single reading. Don’t get to thinking that I read for some grand number of hours a day, like a monk or something, as that wouldn’t be realistic at all! Truthfully, my bible reading time is usually around an hour, or maybe two at most… and some days I may have circumstances that prevent any reading time, at all. My point is to reflect that I move around a great deal, while reading through the Bible. There is no easy way for me to read about who begot whom, for an hour or two straight… No Way!
As I was reading in the book of Romans the other day, I came across a passage in chapter 7, where Paul was talking about the very thing going through my mind after wrapping up my study of the book of Leviticus. Romans 7:13 says, “Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.” I would really recommend that you read the whole of chapter 7, in order to get a more complete understanding of what Paul was explaining about sin and the law. The answer that formed in my mind, regarding all those rules and regulations God was setting down for the Israelites… you can’t fix a thing if you don’t know it’s broken.
Where do you think the saying, you are like those you associate with, came from? Doing a wrong thing, enough times, will eventually make it not seem so bad. Millions of parents have enlisted the above phrase, while lecturing their offspring of the dangers to hanging with the wrong friends. This makes me think of the hundreds of years that God’s people spent with the Egyptians, even if they were in bondage, allowing wickedness to become commonplace in the eyes of the Israelites. God’s people were slowly and methodically desensitized to all manner of sin… they unfortunately, were becoming like the Egyptians in which they served.
We struggle with this form of desensitization, even today, as it has enmeshed itself within our society, from what we watch on television, what we are taught in schools, and how we are treated in churches, and by our own Government. The world still tries to systematically undo our ability to decide right from wrong. The struggle the Israelites were facing all those years ago, seems to mirror much of the world today. Too easily, we readily compromise our values on a daily basis, seeking to blend in peacefully with those around us. We have found ourselves in a never ending loop of, if you can’t beat em, join em mentality.
As God was preparing the Israelites for the journey ahead of them, He had no time for endless loops of ignorant thinking among His people… the journey was just beginning for them, and it would not be easy. God intended to travel with and dwell among His people along this journey, so it was imperative that the Israelites leave all their internal bondage behind with the external slave mentality. This was not the place for fake it til you make it spirituality!
While that was Old Testament, and we now live in the New Testament times, with Christ Jesus blood to cover our sins, God’s holiness and His laws remain the same. We must guard against using this as an excuse to approach God, in His holiness, while associating and participating in things we aught not to be doing… even down to the tiny things that seem miniscule to our conscience.
The walk, the talk, the living and the breathing… even the reading of who begot whom, as well as, exactly how many cubits high and wide of a thing, should still be valuable and important to the child of God reading. Personally, I am going to glean as much as possible from those scriptures way back then, to sustain and nourish my Christian walk in these modern days that we now live.
God put all that stuff in His word for more reasons than I shall ever fully understand, so I will seek to study as slowly as I must, in an effort to read ALL of it!
Sometimes too many words spoken, can spoil the beauty of the message, so I will keep my prompt answer short, and to the point…
Let all that I am praise the LORD; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. Psalm 103: 1-5
Have a muffin this morning… I don’t feel like cookies today, do you?
Blueberry muffins, with those little crumbly bits on the top, have to be my all time favorite muffin… what’s yours?
Bad Habits…
When someone brings up the question of bad habits, many would give go to answers, regarding all sorts of things in themselves they find distasteful or negative. Usually, the habit or habits named will come in the form of a physical or verbal example, i.e., swearing to much, gossiping too much, drinking too much, sleeping around too much.. I think you see where this is going.
There is a sizeable amount of responses that go further inland towards the heart, like, talking too much, praying too selfishly, judging others too quickly, becoming angry too quickly, choosing self over others too often… stuff like this.
Sadly, not enough of us take the time to go deeper still, to the fertile soil of our heart, taking our shoes off and walking between the rows of our neatly tended, or sometimes neglected, character… the roots of us, nestled deeply within our vessel.
Personally, I don’t give a hooey about my surface traits! Don’t get me wrong, as I am far from perfect. What I mean is that, what you see on the surface of me is merely, the result of what is embedded deeply within my vessel. You on the outside of me, only see the surface of this garden, while I on the other hand usually can be found wandering around my own mid level garden, picking the flowers that I find beautiful, quickly snipping off the dead or dying growth that is visible… if anyone comes seeking me, I want this garden to look as lovely and as inviting as possible, so you’ll stay awhile.
It takes a great amount of effort and dedication for humans, myself included, to spend time barefoot in our own gardens of the heart, pulling out the weeds that choke out all the beautiful and fragrant flowers, up above, in the mid level of our vessel.
The secret to all the surface stuff… is to keep the garden safe, clean, and fertile for tending the healthy growth of what reaches the sun, or at least the light of day.
I know I have just waxed poetic about tending our gardens, making it seem as if I have it all figured out… well, I don’t!
What I can say is this, knowing a thing, makes you think on a thing, thereby spending time with a thing, to become better at dealing with, or doing, a thing… say that ten times fast!
Sometimes, for myself, I get a bit tangled up in my surface, and/or even my midlevel bad habits, becoming exhausted with the work of it. When this happens I forget to take my shoes off and head for the garden.
I find myself surrounded by loneliness, anger, lack of confidence, doubt, hopelessness… and I misplace my joy in all the mess.
Here is where my notes come in extremely handy!
Note To Self #25 reminds me that what I am shoveling around on the surface, is not who I really am, it’s just the result of FORGETTING who I really am!
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne
The older I get, the more things I add to the list of bygone days…
There was camping, swimming, biking, hiking,
Barbies, babies, drinking, dancing, horse riding,
motorcycles, mopeds, sand dune climbing, river rafting,
drive-in theatres, frat parties, sunbathing,
boy chasing, love making, chance taking…
Just call me the Risk Junkie, cause if it looked scary, I’d be trying to do it!
It’s like that song about the song that never ends, my list does in fact go on and on and on…
Life changes for us all on that big wheel of time, and while some things change or disappear as we get older, we still find plenty of activities and hobbies to bring us pleasure, they might just look a bit different.
I might not bike and hike like I used to, nor can I “CAMP” without a mattress inside of an RV, but I do walk along a lovely river in the woods nearly every day, leaving me filled with just as much pleasure being outdoors, as it did back in the day.
I could go back through my whole list of things I did when I was younger, explaining to you how each one of them has changed over the years… but I suspect that your own lives come with similar lists. We are all on the same wheel of time, just at differing places on it’s cycles of motion.
Where one activity stops, slows, or loses my interest… another surfaces to bring me just as much joy and pleasure… just different, and maybe even better than that of the past.
Just sayin,
Here, have a cookie…
I just want to say that television has really fooled us into thinking that a writer just pulls up a chair to a typewriter and POOF!!! out comes a full size novel! Bunch of hooey!
Take for instance, Murder She Wrote, which made it look like the woman could write so freely that she had plenty of spare time to run around solving murders.
In the series Castle, the novelist was not only free to help solve crimes full time for the local PD, but when he did sit down to write, he could roll out half a novel in a weekend.
Movies and television always depict authors to have the capability to go into some fugue state, feverishly emptying a novel out onto the page in one fell swoop… or maybe it is just my own inexperience and lack of concentration that blocks me from magically pulling a 60,000 word dream out of my noggin overnight.
All I know is that I have days where I need to go back and re-imagine my own dream, so as to get it right on the page, for you the reader. I can see the framework of the entire dream, big important chunks of action, and all that… but it takes a great deal of time to think on the tiny details necessary, to bring my dream alive for You!
This has to be one of the most difficult, yet, beautiful journeys of my life! The dedication and patience required to do something right, verses fast, has begun teaching me more about the joy in the journey. I’ve always been on RUN cycle, in every aspect of my life! I completed 4 years of high school in only 2 years, with an accumulated GPA of 3.91. I had 8 pregnancies in under 6 years, only three of which survived! This fast lane living was running my rear end over!
The years are teaching me that it is better to do a thing well, than to just get it done as fast as possible. As for writing a full size novel, I am just a baby learning to walk. Everything from chapter length, context, as well as my Punctuation Fairy tendencies, has to be taken into consideration while I attempt to put my dream to the page for you to experience.
Add to my more attentive writing style, the daily Life Interruptus that nips at my heels, or sometimes my heart. There is a fine line between passionate writing and emotional writing, if you get my drift. Emotional writing distracts me from the true value and meaning of the dream I attempt to breath onto the page. My passion is where the story is, where my true heart rests. This is the part I seek to share with others as I write.
Writing also requires one to section off a part of the brain for this one dream, while the brain carries many many more dreams, ceaselessly screaming for my attention. Fortunately, being as isolated as I have been, as well as, living in life’s furnace of constant Interruptus’s, leaves me ample time to write on several things at once. And YES, I invented my own word spelling of “Interrupt”!
I have discovered that by slowing down in my efforts to tell this story, it gives it time to breath and deepen in richness of details that may have been lost, had I rushed through to the end. I think that you will be glad for the time I took to write, as it will bring you much pleasure in the time it takes you to read it!
How free is free, anyway???
Free enough to keep, or keeping it because it was free?
If you don’t earn it yourself, will it just lay on your shelf?
If you don’t learn it yourself, it belongs to someone else!
If you pay for it, You’ll probably stay for it…
But if it’s merely handed, I’m going to be candid,
most things that are free, will soon cease to be…
For love to be of value, one must tend it with care,
don’t keep it or store it, way up on a shelf…
give some to all others, as it’s good for your health!
Journey With Me! 