Lazy days, for me, are a far cry from being unproductive! Are you kidding… while I might be resting in my favorite chair, I’m busy saving lives! If the world ever has a zombie outbreak, my services are going to be in high demand.

Do you even realize how much laziness I have to endure, just to keep my trigger fingers in good working condition? Are you going to know how to zombie proof your safehouses? I bet you never thought about that!

Then, there’s figuring out how and where to get food, fresh drinking water… and bullets! I’m forever in search of more bullets… oh, and repair kits. You’d be surprised how often your weapons need repairing.

Then there’s zombie proof clothing (that’s armor) and antibiotics! Don’t let yourselves get bit, or anything. I’d hate to have to shoot you!

Yep! You’ll all be thanking me…

Want a cookie?

Just kidding!

I’d at least pick the cookies up first, just to flick off anything unpleasant! I’m not a monster… just a survivor! Now eat your cookie, and don’t ask what’s in the ingredients…