It’s New Years Eve!

Out with the old and in with the new is how most are feeling right about now! 

The range of people’s emotions, as they think on this feeling, can reach both ends of the scale. 

For some, it’s benign in terms of the big picture… bills got paid, pensions are safe, nothing bad happened and life is good. For others, there may have been challenges through this last year ranging anywhere from financial challenges, to any number of health issues. Some have lost loved ones or experienced the end of a marriage, while at the same time, there were babies being born and/or weddings to attend. I think maybe this is why emotions run sort of high for many during the week between Christmas and the New Year.

I bet most new moms don’t want to let go of last years joys quite so easily, nor are they looking forward to moving on into a different stage of that infants life. 

First smiles, first night without a 2 a.m. feeding, first steps and first words are irreplaceable memories and yet… the joy and excitement of what is next to come makes this time bittersweet. I gather this evidence both from my own memories, as well as the photo album industry… whether in print or digital. I don’t ever want to forget those years!

On the other side of things, I’m sure that there are those who are really hoping that the goodness and success of 2024 will wash over and erase the memory of last year… and with that comes a great amount of anxiety. 

Will next year be better or worse? Will the grief of loss over life or love ever lessen? Some have burned the candle at both ends and have now come to the middle and are terrified of what will come next for them. Why is it that we don’t feel the pressure during all the other months of the year? More specifically, why is it this very week that makes many feel so overwhelmed? It’s not like there is a waiver that we all have to sign, come New Years Day, stating that we shall look back no more on the things in the past. Perhaps we think our Talent or Success Card has to be reviewed by a High Council. For all I know, that might be the solution everyone would enjoy!

What if there were a Do Over Card available? I wonder how many of us would trade our last 12 months for another try at things, if there were a magic subway turnstiles available New Years Day. 

What would that Returns Line look like at the store? How many would want a full Do Over vs. an Exchange or would there also be a line in the Repairs Department? I wrote about this sort of thing just the other day, sharing how changes or do overs may take away from the good that I want to hold onto, for my journey home. I suppose that’s where the anxiety comes from, for myself at least. 

I look back over the last 12 months of my journey, and while I want so bad to stand in the Do Over Return Line in some regards, I have too many good things to focus on. I am also quite exhausted with standing in the Repair Line… I have things to do, dreams to chase and a purpose! What is that purpose? Here’s the funny thing… I can’t even say what it is, this purpose, because I’m right in the middle of it! God has me firmly held in His purpose and I think it is big enough that I cannot see the defining edges. The only thing I wish to do, is to continue walking forward beneath His shadow into the New Year! This is the first holiday season in many many years that I feel excited, expectant and hopeful for what is to come. 

While I am not fully ready to continue our journey into the wilderness with you, here on Live Wire Sundays, the idea of what it must have felt like for the Israelites came to mind. As they left behind everything they knew, good and bad, and began the journey to the promised land, there had to be many emotions floating through the air for Gods people. 

For many of them, I think they felt a panic similar to that of a toddler being placed in the arms of a stranger, which could end badly, as I discovered while attempting to get my 9 month old to take a photo with a giant Easter Bunny… not cool! 

There was a long journey ahead of the Israelites, and they were nowhere near ready, but God knew exactly what would be needed to prepare them. Some days I feel ready to get it done, while most days make me feel like an ill prepared Israelite! Did I ever mention that I counted back to how old I was when God first began knocking on the door of my heart… it was 40 years from when I started writing on this blog back in March of this last year. What an unusual similarity, don’t you think? 

I was a chosen child of God… I just didn’t know it yet, nor was I prepared to handle that knowledge. I knew of God but was not impressed! The bible said how things were supposed to work, but I was young, traumatized, and very angry… hmmmmm… sound like anyone else we know? I think it’s a safe bet to say that the Israelites were feeling about the same in terms of their walk with God and what they’d gone through for generations. I’ll leave it at that, since I’m not ready for us to head out into the desert until next Sunday… no spoilers!

Please forgive my rambling and bouncing all over the place this morning, but as it is New Years Eve morning, I am a maelstrom of emotions… Peaceful waters flow all around and over me, calming the storms that push me down and strengthening me for the rapids ahead. Sometimes it is easy to live only in the moment, while at other times it can bring fears to my door, about what is to follow. As I write this to you, my spirit is at peace but my emotions are still a bit challenging. Repeated trauma has done its work on my system, making it very difficult to shut off the release of certain chemicals to the brain that lure me towards fight or flight. My spirit and mind know that I am now safe in Gods arms, but my body still seems to be a Survival Adrenaline Junkie… an odd combination surviving in one single human vessel, but there it is. 

While my desire is not to overshare, I disclose many things to you when I write because, let’s face it, I know that I’m not alone in my feelings and struggles. The enemy wants me to feel like I am all alone, with nobody to understand or share what I feel… he is a liar and a thief! We are NEVER alone and I will take that all the way to the gates, my friends!

My hope and prayer this morning is that you step confidently into the New Year, hope burning within you for each of your journeys ahead. My other hope and prayer is that we all choose the path that He has provided us, whatever it may be and wherever it may lead us… this world is not our home, it’s simply the journey that gets us there…

For anyone that might need the encouragement, just remember that with a new year comes a chance for doing good, finding more joy to share with those around you, and new hope for what’s ahead for us. Our successes and failures made us who we are today, and according to God, he uses us all right where we are, in whatever circumstance. I might not be famous or rich, nor am I surrounded by adoring fans that want to hang on my every word. Truth be told, I’m just me… a nobody… but if you listen to this song I’ve shared, you will see who God chooses to use for His purpose and Glory.

Be safe everyone and I’ll see you on the flip side…