Beauty is fleeting, so enjoy it while it’s there!
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My Idiot!
I have been married to my best friend now for nearly 17 years. Just the other day I was looking back over the years at all of our highs and lows, and I remembered something. When we were first married, as with most new marriages, there was a lot of romantic gestures, attentiveness, and memento type gifts, the usual honeymoon phase behaviors. One morning, as I was getting ready for the day, my eye caught sight of what looked like a post it note. Oddly, it was in the shower of all places. I leaned forward and snatched it off of the wall to find that it read, “I love the way your hair smells”. As I stood there thinking how sweet it was, my eye was drawn to the towel shelf above the toilet, where there was another sticky note. It took me an entire day to find all of the notes that he had strategically left throughout the house for me to find. I cherished each and every one of those little things.
Through time and circumstance, I have lost the little notes but not the memory of tenderness they left behind. We all know how life gets in front of everything, and I realize that over the years, he continued to occasionally write me poems, or letters that I have actually saved, thank goodness.
When I was thinking back the other day, I realized that I had not written to him for a long time. Why is it, when we go through difficulties, we hold back from one another instead of leaning in for support. Well, anyways, no excuses…I am going to make an effort to write a love note back to the big idiot.
Now, here is where I have to explain the Idiot title. If you knew my husband and I, you would know that our life is a bit on the rough side, and ours is a hard love… so I have a tendency to be brutally honest. I have come to believe something about a person, whether it is a man or a woman makes no difference. When it comes to human nature, we all are made up of a percentage of Idiot and a percentage of what we will kindly call a Buttnugget. Deal with it because I used to have a mouth worse than a trucker and God said to cut it out, so I chose the best alternative. It is not my fault, as I am somewhat new to not using profanity, so I am learning.
Anyway, what we want to hope for, in ourselves and people that we entrust our hearts to, is to come out at least at about a 60/40 split. We know that it is impossible to be perfect, but our aim is to be more of an Idiot than a Buttnugget!
Here is the difference…the idiot is still going to screw up, hurt you, fail you or sometimes just do things that make no sense. But there is no spite, no malice, no ill will intended. Just being human. The Buttnugget, however, chooses to be that way. There is always a motive, or spitefulness of the heart. We all have met that one person that does things that we cannot fathom for no apparent reason other than to cause harm.
If you can follow this reasoning, then you will appreciate why I call my husband, My Idiot! He is, in my opinion, one of the best human beings I have ever encountered on my journey. I can confidently attest that he is, in my eyes an 80/20! I am very grateful for this, as I have a running average of 60/40! We would be in trouble if his numbers were off, cause I am mean!
Adapted???
Daily writing prompt
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
House gone, cars were lost, abandoned by our government when we needed them most…Adapted is hardly the word to use when you fall through the cracks…lost, angry, frightened, without hope, we are now simply among the many wounded, devestated, homeless, and hungry souls simply trying to recover from something we do not understand and cannot control. I gave up asking why along time ago…now I simply choose to get up each day and go on.
I find it a bit comical, if not sad, how those that stayed above water, seem to feel a bit impatient with those trying to recover, as if we should be able to jump back on our feet over night. I think it is pretty apparent, from all of the homeless rv cities growing around this nation, that if we did not get in this mess overnight, then it will certainly not get all better with the snap of a finger. Forget healthcare, or even car, auto or life insurance…if its gonna break, then nothing will stop it.
We were within a year of buying out our rent to own home when the shut down happened, and, as we never saw a dime of any unemployment for over a year, we were evicted. Yep, in a time when the Government said, that that was not allowed…they lied! My husbands company decided that this was a great time to deny their people benefits, saying they were fired. It took over a year just for my husband to get any one to help…we never did see even half of what we were owed. We had to cash in his pension just to eat, and they took over 60% in penalties, leaving us with next to nothing. Resources depleted, no one answering their phones, unemployment sites down or simply non functioning. Business offices locked their doors. No help came…
We still reside in an old Rv that Grace provided us, and my husband is trying still to find some way to start over…There is no recovery…its all gone…
Sooooo…Adapt is a tough word to use, but if all of the above is what that word is supposed to mean, then, well, I guess we have adapted!
Live Wire…
I wonder,
if the water can flux and shift,
if the trees and grass can grow and spread,
does the rock move?
Maybe it does move, but just so slowly, that nobody sees it enough to notice anything different…
Your Welcome
My Crazy Memes
The Importance of Planning…lol.
From Ashes
What did I get myself into, oh well, any kind of noise is better than falling silent into the ashes…
Are you superstitious?
To some and maybe many, my faith in God is probably considered a superstition, but my belief and faith, through my own failures and flaws, continues to come to the surface. I have lived 54 years so far, and I have seen way to much to refute His work in my life. Superstition, like fear, cannot reside in the same heart and mind as my Faith!
Growth
There he is again, she thought, as the car inched toward the intersection, awaiting their turn to move forward. Every time she came through this intersection, it seemed to be the same person, standing in the median with a sign, looking for money. It wasn’t a safe place to just stand, distracting drivers, and seemed such an inappropriate place to seek help.
She felt that, more than most, she knew what it was like to have everything taken away, and the struggle to pick up and overcome things. Hadn’t God brought her this far, by providing just what she needed to survive, not by just handing it to her, but helping her work hard to do it. As the car inched forward toward the intersection, she suddenly had an epiphany. It was as if God blew softly in her face, sort of like you do to a baby before they go under water. Its like a soft reset before they go under so that they don’t take water into their lungs.
She caught her breath, and when her eyes focused on the man again, she saw that God didn’t ask her to do anything but give out of a heart of love and obedience; no judging, no criticizing, no assumptions…just give if you have it. That’s it! Why did she feel that giving was connected to approval on her part. Was it her job to deem whether or not his circumstances were any more difficult or painful than hers. God did not say, “If your good with this, could you do me a favor”. He simply said, if you have it to give, and I ask you, is that enough.
She reached forward for her purse on the floor so fast that she nearly hit her forehead on the dash. Grabbing what little was there, it would have to do…she thrust the money in her husband’s face in a rush, and said in a hurry, Quick! Give this to that man! When he looked at her in confusion, she said hurriedly, “Long story short, God told me to shut up and give!” As they drove home, he just softly shook his head to himself, with a smile.
Perspective can be good, bad, right, wrong, on point, way off base, but always changing and rewriteable, for me at least. I know that I have the power to change one thing, my attitude…It makes everything look different.
What She Thought She Saw…
The whole day had quite simply sucked!
After the grocery shopping debacle that morning, her good mood had soured and gained a downward run that she knew would not improve. Her shopping cart wheel had given out in just the right spot coming off of the curb in front of the store letting everything in it simply fly, full force, into a passing car in the parking lot.
After completely re-shopping, off of her crumpled receipt that had a piece of old chewing gum in it, she hurried home in an attempt to unload before her youngest child awoke from a very brief fake nap.
Driving home, the officer did not appreciate the narrative she reeled off as her excuse, giving her a speeding ticket anyway.
Once home, groceries unpacked and children playing, she tried to find solace in a piece of chocolate cake that she had reserved on top of the microwave the night before, only to discover that the cat had peed on the front of the microwave. And yes, she had already eaten the cake when she discovered this bit of information. It had been one of those days!
When she walked into the room to check on her children as they played, she was certain that she heard her 5-year-old say to her Barbie doll, “You #@*ch!”
In shocked horror, the stressed out young mother began to let loose with a scolding lecture regarding language. Looking up from the dollhouse in confusion, her daughter asked, “Mommy, if I can’t call this a bench, then what am I supposed to call it?”
Perspective!
I so want to go back to having the perspective and imagination of a child, without all the grown-up things that derail the good stuff.
That’s a perfect world, which this is not, but the beauty of the human soul is that it can learn, recover, forgive, and grow.
I am growing again!
Journey With Me! 