One would imagine that a writer would have a list longer than ones arm, readily available to regail you with insightful pearls of wisdom. Ya….No! Don’t get me wrong, I am a writer and I have read enough books to fill a small library. And trust me, I have many things I could pull from them to impress.
What I will do, is share my three favorite books with a quick why attatched. No fancy bells or whistles...
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hanna Hannard – It brought home to me who God was, to me, at a very delicate time in my life.
The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis – For me, this book was almost a preparatory step towards my salvation.
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman – This book not only opened my eyes in how to love my girls, it has shaped how I try to fulfill love in others, children and adult alike. For me, this book was a life changer!
Yup! I am just going to fling it out there! I used to fear being laughed at, judged, turned away from, and the like, if I had the balls to stand up for Jesus!
How did I overcome it, you ask? I got brave…
How did I get brave? I got serious about speaking the truth…
How did I get serious? I burned out…
I burned out in the church, I burned out as a mother, I burned out being a plaything to others…
Then I quit! I told God to screw off!
I ran into the wilderness, where no one knew His name so I need not speak of Him…
I found myself in a place where the only name that would come to my lips was His…
The enemy knew His name, just as I did…
When I shouted out of my God, the earth shook and the enemy fled…
I am a terrible judge of character in people and it has cost me almost all of ME…
I speak the name of God everywhere I go, because if you stay, then I feel safe in His name, His presence…
If I speak of God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit, you should only feel good after our encounter…
Sooooo, I homeschooled my children for a number of years! There, I said it! I get a mixture of reactions from folks, when I mention this fact. It ranges from an encouraging smile to a distrustful, and often judgemental frown. I am, however, very proud of what I accomplished with my kids! My past is filled with so many fun adventures. There are memories of camping for weeks at a time, trips to endless zooz and parks of this sort or that, and many different arts and educational groups. If nothing else, at least I know that my kids were never bored! As I write about my perspective on this subject, I also realize that my kids may not have entertained the same pleasant recollections as I did.
The other morning, while enjoying my morning coffee and music, I was pondering this different viewpoint. I can tell you for certain that I hated at least 3 different hairstyles my mom made me wear! I also have a plethora of stories recalling my perceived trauma at the clothes I was forced to wear, and to some of the most embarrassing moments I had to be a part of (western pictures with my parents) …it was aweful!
With fresh memories in my head from my own childhood, I perused the memory storybooks I keep of my homeschooling adventures. I was able to revisit some events that I realize my kids probably cringe at, each time they remembered. There were a good number of memories, however, that restore my faith in believing I did right by my girls. Here is one in particular that I thought you might find humorous…
It had been a pretty nice morning so far. With the classroom workbook session finished, I sat in my office with a cup of coffee, having sent the little ones outside to play in the yard. I finished the article I had been reading, and set it down next to my now empty coffee cup. It dawned on me that I had been reading for nearly 20 minutes without interruption…not normal!!! Just as I reached for the front door handle, my oldest was opening it and coming inside. The look on her face was that of guilt, fear, and anger all rolled into one!
Apparently, her sisters had hopped on their bicycles and gone for a bit of a ride. She wanted it to be very clear that she had tried valiantly to block their escape, but was overwhelmed by the treachery, and she had decided to come get me! With that information I grabbed my slippers…yes, I know, wrong shoe choice! Don’t blame me, there was no time…my little hooligans were on the loose…on wheels!!!
I headed down the block at a soft trot…you would think that I would be sprinting, as these were my tiny little vulnerable babies. Why did I not do said sprinting, you may be asking? First of all…SLIPPERS! Besides, I could already hear them singing from 3 blocks away! The hilarious reason I could hear them from such a distance, was due to the amphitheater style baseball field that rested just below our local elementary school! And NO, it was not recess time! The whole of my neighborhood had to know exactly whose little escaped convicts these two were! As I rounded the corner leading into the above-mentioned park area, they were belting out their own version of some childhood song. It was being broadcast loudly across the park by my little Tina Turners. The speed at which their little bikes were racing from the top of the hill all the way down to the bottom was impressive! So was the speed at which their little hind ends raced home to get there before I did!
In honesty, I think my oldest daughters’ lecture and judgement had a bigger impact on them than mine, lol! And lets face it people, my kids are just as wild as I am! Perhaps, more so…
I try to get out on the trail nearly every day. I walk for a variety of reasons. Aside from the health benefits, it does really provide me with a great amount of joy for such a small effort. I can honestly say that I feel blessed each time I set out.
As I was walking down the path yesterday, I had the sweetest experience and decided to share it with you. I see people on my outings all the time, some days more than others. On this day, coming down the path towards me was a gentleman accompanied by his two young sons. When I say young, I mean they were tiny little guys. The smaller of the two was at the walking age of a tiny drunken sailor. The older boy was not much bigger.
The closer the family got, the more apparent it became that these little adorable bundles knew what a “MeeMaw” looked like. Me! Their smiles got bigger and bigger as I approached. Just as we passed each other, both boys simultaniously shot their arms up and waved at me. Their father graciously slowed, allowing the boys to greet me. I think I probably wore a smile for a good five minutes after we all went our seperate ways.
“He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it. Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.”
How do you practice religion anyway? I guess if you compare it to a soccer practice, then church or religion would probably look similar to that, I think. Alot of folks milling about, drinking coffee and socializing with the other parents. Getting all of the little ones into the right sunday scchool classes, finding a place to sit in order to see and shout out words of encouragement. Watching the coach teach the rules, and either agree with what they say, or sit and judge them for being no more than Timmy’s dad. Yup, this does kind of sound like practicing religion.
I think I would have to say that, no, I do not practice religion! I do however, practice walking a life of Faith! It’s just how I roll!
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:9-11
If you would only take the time to see
To look deep within this tiny tree
Hidden within the bark and the green
You will find a heart beating fiercely
beneath
By looking within and loving this tree
You have opened a path for me to break free…
Have you ever tried to bake something you were so looking forward to, but by the end of the process, it turned out to be a train wreck? Perhaps you made a small miscalculation, starting the downward spiral? In an attempt to correct the error, you went too far trying to fix things, enabling you to make a bigger mess of things?
In the beginning of my baking days, instead of starting fresh, I would simply continue trying to salvage my bake, stubbornly refusing to give up on the desired end result. This always ended in the same fashion. I would either serve something tasting of death, or it would be so burnt and hard that it was unedible.
In time, and after learning things the hard way, I decided to take a class that taught me how to read instructions properly. I also began giving myself permission to say “Throw it out and start again”. Today, I am pretty decent in the kitchen, because I took time to learn and practice the skills needed for a successful bake.
If only life were so easy to study, master, and get a 4.0 grade point average in, I would enroll as a full-time student! The tools are definitely available, but with only limited instructions for use, as well as a very large warning label. The cost of said educational textbooks is beyond affordable for most, and the instructors that are attempting to teach these classes, do not even have the answer key! They are guessing just like the rest of us!
**I pray that you are following me in a hypothetical capacity. I am in no way speaking of our actual educational system. Sometimes it is simply easier for me to give you, my reader, a visual of my idea or perspective, if you will. **
As I have recently begun Investigating Truths about myself, something came to my attention. In looking back over my life and my walk with God, I have become aware that I really dislike praying for myself! Oh, I love praying! I am in prayer with God constantly, as he is my closest ally. But, as I look back through my journals, that I have written in all my life, I noticed a glaring imbalance in my prayers. When I pray for others, whether they be friend or foe, it is with passion and an all-in capacity of faith! On the contrary, in my prayers for self, it looks quite pitiful. My prayers for myself read as if I were a teacher at the end of a very long day, whose students required every ounce of her energy, having to say something positive to yet another parent. I had simply been throwing out feeble, half exhausted prayers that I really didn’t expect God to fulfill anyway.
In case this is the first thing you have ever seen of my work, I often like to remind my readers that even though I am a mature Christian, and have been since I was 18, I still struggle with simple things at times. The reason I do this is to invite you to relate with me on this journey of GROWTH! I want to walk beside you as I share, not as a teacher, but as a fellow student in life. I am in my 50’s and I am nowhere near done growing and learning.
I suppose the reason I am outing myself in front of you, is a way for me to look at myself truthfully, yet lovingly enough for healthy growth. I have a tendency to be less than forgiving with numero uno.
As I am on a journey for truthful growth, I am choosing to learn how to look at myself more graciously (throw out the batter, and start over), instead of continuing to overcompensate (making small miscalculations, going too far trying to fix things, and making a bigger mess than before).
I am charging myself to see the lovely child that God sees, and pray with a heart that loves myself as He does; prayerfully seeking the gifts He so lovingly offers me each and every day!
**Note to Self – Out with the batter, and in with the Truth!
Journey With Me! 