Category: funny

Who said that…

Wiwohka8 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Who is your favorite historical figure?
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I know that in our current state, we are all fully aware that the earth is round, right…

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I went on the web, after reading the prompt, and tried to look up who it was that first said that the earth was not flat, and I got a page full…

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As silly as it sounds, I actually thought that if I just typed in the question, I would have my answer. It is a little more than than, as I discovered.

The only reason I even went looking was due to the fact that I mainly only have favorite biblical historical figures, and I thought you might be tired of hearing it…lol… and in truth, I am actually impressed with whoever it was that had the courage to challenge others to accept a new idea or belief. Times were different back then, and they did not have the internet. Anything new or unproven was usually rejected, sometimes with very harsh recriminations to whomever was seeking change.

I feel how real the struggle must have been for people like the apostle Paul for instance, who had the responsibility of spreading the gospel. Whenever I read any of the letters that he wrote, I get a strong sense of one attempting to structure and organize like maybe half a dozen Christian Universities, all at the same time, from a remote location (often prison). He was charged with organizing a bunch of unruly land owners and sheep herders, into the body of the church.

Paul received mainly a bunch of complaints, whining, name calling, and judgy folks thinkin they had it all figured out. No one wanted to do it his way, and they argued with Gods council, nonstop at times. Still he persisted in following a path that he believed to be right and true.

I sit here in comfort on my laptop, happily clickity clicketing all my little pearls of silly wisdom, of which may or may not be worth anything… all the while, I sip my warm coffee, with my rich vanilla creamer… man do I have it easy.

In a time where information is available willy nilly, and folks can watch a video of someone making popcorn with a bag of skittles, and are willing to nearly burn their houses down in an attempt to replicate this modern video miracle, I do wish to appreciate and give a shout out to Them That Went Before us…you all shaped our world… God Bless your brave souls…

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Just Sayin…

Wiwohka7 Comments
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According to my history on Google pics, I would make a terrible spy!

Apparantly, my library of accidental screen shots, could rival my collection of baby pics.  I must now come with handling instructions…

***WARNING***

Under no circumstances

Should any of you

Store confidential information

With me, the Accidental Screen Shot Specialist!

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Here… Have a cookie!

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I know, I know,

Ummmm….

ya, your gonna have to go get your own milk…

Wave Ya Hands in the Air…

Wiwohka14 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your first crush.
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Ok, so maybe this is more about the shoes than the boy, but still…

His Name was Louie, and he was in the same school as I, but I am not sure how old we all were…probably 5th or 6th grade?

He used to sit on the steps, outside of the school, during lunch break every day. There was a group of boys who always congregated around him, fully inflating his ego maybe. I would wander over to where they sat, nearly every day, just to get him to look my way. In my silly mind, I was sure that he liked me, by the way he always smiled and laughed at what I thought was funny. In reality, it was probably him just being kind, as I think he must have been a nice kid.

One particular afternoon, I had worn my new Cherokee Wedge high heeled shoes, just to look especially pretty. They were really just giant floor level erasers, I am now certain of it! Anyway, as soon as the class bell rang, I was up and off to freshen up in the girls lavatory. Feeling like a model, I began my promenade down the corridor toward the schools courtyard. Out the doors, and down the steps I sashayed, coming to stand near the group of boys.

Now my friends had been teasing me earlier that week, regarding my view of how he must feel about me, saying that I was making it up. I was intent on showing them all!

I started up my usual flirty convo, laying on the demure smiles and light giggles that were supposed to be what you did to get a man. What happened next must go into a play by play of sorts, or a back and forth screenshot for your brain…

*I teased him about something, and to this day, I have no idea what it was…

*He made the gesture as if to pursue me, maybe to tickle or pick me up in his arms to circle me around in the air for the world to see his true love for me, showing all those girls a thing or two… wait… ok, maybe that was my thoughts, but all he did was lean forward with a smile on his face… I know Right? God bless my imagination!

*I turned around, thinking him to be in pursuit, and proceeded to run across the entire front courtyard of our school, just like Julie Andrews did in the Sound of Music. The only differences were, for starters, I was wearing those ridiculous eraser shoes, and the other key thing to remember is that he was NOT following me. I thought he was, but never looked back to confirm.

*When I got to the other end of the yard, I turned to realize what had actually been the scene… no one following me…me running like a Robin Williams version of Julie Andrews, the majority of my classmates, rolling on the grass laughing, and the boys on the steps hooting and hollering to join the chorus…

We were all so young, and it might seem as a bad memory, but it one of the funniest things I remember doing, and you know what, I think that nice boy really did like me. I actually remember him laughing with the others but he did not look like he wanted to laugh… I think he actually felt bad for me…

Kids say and do some of the funniest things, and I am forever grateful for all of my youthful funnies, as I am sure that you are as well. I was and am a pretty funny person! Not because I am a great mixer of words and jokes, but because I can laugh at myself without being judgy, and I love to tell others about something I did that I thought was really silly or funny, and they get to laugh with me, not at me, there is a difference…

Investigating Truths…

Wiwohka4 Comments

What is Church, anyway?

Is it the building, or is it the people?

Sometimes, it can seem cold and desolate…

… like the frozen peaks of a mighty mountain range. Sadly, little can survive there.

What about finding church in nature?

Can all that quite beauty and solitude become a church, of sorts? Meditating in peace, while trying to safely navigate this lost and fallen world?

Can Church be found in a book, but not in a heart?

What about where 2 or more are gathered?

Do I fit into the Church, or is the Church supposed to reside within Me?

Google says that the Bible mentions the word Church about 120 different times. 

Somebody on Google also says that there are estimated to be between eight and 16 million actual church buildings in the world.

Another person says that there are 37 million churches throughout the world.

Oh yeah, and I also read that there are more than 45,000 Christian denominations in the world.  I think I found all this information in under 5 minutes on the great World Wide Web.  What started out as my morning quiet time in the word, turned into 2 days of trail walks, another day pondering my own church experiences, and then finally, the above mentioned 5 minutes of “Google is your friend”!

Honestly, at this point, I was feeling like a deer caught in someone’s proverbial headlights!  I know we all believe that google is our friend, but let me tell ya, not only is it your friend, but EVERYBODY’S friend!  Electronic Overshare Overload is what I will consider reality!  Jokes aside, the web can be a great resource, within reason.  Too much of a good thing can be not so good for us. Well, at least that’s how that old saying goes, anyways.

I am realizing that I am not interested in what the WWW thinks, nor am I certain as to where I stand with my own beliefs, regarding this subject. 

However, here is the awesome truth about faith…  I do believe in WHO God is and what He says to me!  If I am to believe that the Bible is 100% truth, it goes to show that I will find the honest answers to my questions within this very book, right?  Within this one book are my answers, written down simply and clearly, assuming I am truly seeking the HONEST answer. 

With this truth upon my heart, I am embarking on a journey of knowledge, that I may see with clarity a Godly understanding of Church, His purpose, and how I fit into the body of Christ (His Church).

You know I will not go all the way to some clarity, without returning with some really great stories for you all.  Keep a weathered eye out for me, and I will see you on the (metaphorical) flip side…

Preferably Upright…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?
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Technically, I guess it may look like we already retired, but most likely it is just the practicing part…lol…who knows, but my house already has wheels, so I am always packed, hehe…

Do You Remember…

Wiwohka4 Comments

Do you Remember

Ok, Ok, I know that I have mentioned my memories of living in a mobile home in a less than favorable manner.  Last week I told of one particular incident on my ugly list, but I am not one that often forms a major opinion over one tiny mishap, even thought it was a mutant spider!  So, I am going to share some of my more memorable uglies, to regale you with, followed by my revised opinion.

So here is a quick memory that is probably up in my top gaggometer list.  I do not think this incident has anything whatsoever to do with living in a mobile home, but since the atrocity occurred inside such residence, it is gonna get the blame!  Ah, the still quiet of the evening was lovely, on this particularly warm summer night.  I geared up for some fun Red Green episodes that played on the local television network, climbing into bed with an iced glass of watermelon Kool-Aid.  I temporarily forgot about said drink, for maybe half an hour, if that.  Once it occurred to me that I was thirsty, I reached over in the dark, grabbing the glass and taking a substantial drink.  What followed, there in the darkness, was a mouthful of red Kool-Aid mixed with many, many, many, sugar ants, being spewed across what once was a lovely bedspread!  Right?!?!

The next mention is a shout out to my middle child, who for whatever reason a teenager needs, decided it would be a great idea to roast marshmallows on her bed with the window open.  We smelled smoke and opened the door to see the two of them sitting there with a disposable tin pie dish, popsicle sticks, and toilet paper alight right in the middle of her bed.  I believe that it was this incident that caused a hole in the floor, resulting from the leg of the bed popping through when they jumped up and panicked! 

All was well, so no need to panic, but I had to share this part so that the main story would be easier in the telling…

So, how would a hole in the floor be necessary information, you ask?  We did not notice it for a while, in truth, because a teenager keeps more clothing on the floor than any other part of their room.  Perhaps, a month went by from the marshmallow mayhem, when my daughter mentioned to us that she could here something under her floor during the night.  My husband assured her that it was nothing, perhaps a stray cat underneath the skirting of the trailer.  This went on for a week, maybe more, and I was getting irritated with the bellyaching coming from the adolescent peanut gallery. 

It was maybe 3 a.m. when my babybug burst into our room in a panic.  Her eyes were big as an owl, as she literally drug me by my arm toward her room!  I kid you not, just as I flicked the light on, I saw a giant pink nose come right up through that hole under her bed, disappearing with a huge bite of floor material.  Before my husband was even fully awake to take stock of the situation, I ran and grabbed a jug of bleach, Sculpy clay, and clear packaging tape!  If you judge me for such ridiculous problem-solving skills, I swear I might just reach through the screen and flick your ear.  Just so you know, we never did fix that floor before we ended up moving on, so technically it DID work!

As I walked back through these uglies, as I once termed them, I had a beautiful epiphany! I do not actually hate, nor want to forget a single one of these memories, and I will tell you why.  That part of my journey was a time that my middle daughter actually came and lived with us until she graduated high school.  Of all three daughters, she has been the only one who refuses to hold anger towards me, and I hope that maybe it is from the SPIDER, the ANTS, the SMORES, the CREATURE FROM UNDER THE FLOOR (probably just a possum), or any other story from that list of so called Uglies.

Now when I tell you the stories from back then, they are simply funny and beautiful, and worth every precious moment…

Ya’ll make this so easy…

Wiwohka2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?
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What I do with it will always be my free will and choice…

I choose… hmmm… what do ya’ll think?

What to pick…

Wiwohka12 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Describe one of your favorite moments.
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If you are going to give a girl a question, she will need break it down…

Since I have way too many favorite moments to choose from, I decided to look at what makes all of those moments so Favorite!

I realized what made them all my favorite. It was the love within and surrounding them…

The birth of each of my daughters…

First introductions to each of my wonderful pets through my life, you know that moment of pure joy and puppy breath…yeah that!

Standing in flip flops in front of the local Sherriff exchanging vows with my best friend!

Christmas time around a tree, watching my children’s chubby little faces light up with wonder and excitement…

So, can I just say that LOVE is my number one favorite moment?

Well, I guess its too late now, since I just said it, so you’ll have to suck it up buttercup, cause LOVE it is…

LOVE…

Wiwohka3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What notable things happened today?
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Well, I know that I got out of bed different. I am not who I was yesterday, nor even who I was last night as I drifted off to sleep…

I am pretty sure that I feel different than yesterday, so that is incredibly significant in the notable department…

I am going to be a completely and notably different soul tomorrow morning when I arise, as well…

What might be the most notable thing happening this morning is that it was not me who enabled my earthy body to wake at all! To rest through the dark hours of night, and awaken with a full heart is a gift to be treasured, so I guess that it would by my answer regarding what I consider notable…plus, it is only 6:30 and I still have half a cup of coffee to finish, so the world is still my oyster…

Oh, yeah… I did discover something else notable, for me at least!

I realized this morning during my time in study. Did you know that the book of Song of Songs is directly in the middle of the Bible? A love story for the ages/puts 50 shades of grey to shame story? I am quite sure that the one who breathed life into this book I carry with me, did this for a purpose… I wonder …

This is one of my ancestors, so I can say this out loud: She does not look like she EVER read anything happy! My family line are all a bunch of sour, bitter, and unfriendly folk, at least the only memories I hold of them seem that way unfortunately. I can totally hear her husband telling her, smile or something, this guy won’t be back through this way for at least a year so suck it up buttercup, I already paid him 4 chickens and a goat!

I think I look happier, so things are changing and that is NOTABLE…

Puppy Breathe…

Wiwohka7 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What are you passionate about?
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You should know by now that I always go big or go home…

I will start with puppy breathe, but it won’t end there…

What about Kitty purr motors…

Everybody knows about baby nose boops…

…and yes, I most certainly did put that picture at the end. I can’t help it! Come on, your sayin that it would not be totally hilarious to attempt a nose boop with an Orangutan…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Babammm….

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My number 1 passion is GOD!!!!!! Otherwise, nothing else I just shoveled onto my blog will make any difference to me!